Help explaining firearm safety to SO

[9thchild]

Hey all, I apologize in advance for the lack of brevity, but here goes: my girlfriend and I seem to be in a constant struggle about firearm safety. She believes that a gun is only safe if it is unloaded and locked away. She also believes that carrying a gun on your person is unsafe, and that the benefits of having a gun on you are outweighed by what she calls the "dangers."

I keep a loaded 12 gauge pump under the bed, without a round in the chamber and with the safety ON. Along with it I keep a pistol, also without a round in the chamber, safety on, and it has quite a long DA pull. This is the same pistol I will use for concealed carry, IWB. We have no children, but two dogs that do sleep close to the bed.

I have tried to explain to her that these firearms would need human intervention to become "unsafe," and that there is simply no way a dog could cause them to fire. Am I totally off-base here? How can I get her to understand this?

Any suggestions on how to ease her fears about me carrying a gun? I am doing my CWP class this weekend, and would like these issues to be resolved before I start carrying. I don't want her to feel "unsafe" around me because I am carrying a concealed weapon.

Anyone else in (or have gone through) a similar situation?

 

[MedWheeler]

If she's at least open to education, steer her toward www.corneredcat.com.

 

[MtnCreek]

If she better understood firearms, that would probably go a long ways toward reducing her fear. She if she’d be willing to take a basic firearms class.

 

[akv3g4n]

Try getting some snap caps and load the shotgun and pistol with those and have them set-up exactly as you do now. Then you can go through a more detailed explanation of the steps that need to happen before the gun is ready to be fired. That way she can handle the weapons too to get a better understanding (good time to go through basic safety too).

It's tough because so many movies and media accounts make it seem like looking at a gun the wrong way will make it go off. Handling and education are the only way around this. Pull up parts diagrams of your weapons and show her exactly how it works if necessary. It's not magic, it's a mechanical device. You need to try to get her to understand that. It can be tough.

 

[courtgreene]

My wife did not like me carrying when I first started. Now she has a carry permit. Two things happened. First, she's seen how religiously careful I am about gun safety, and knows that I don't tolerate unsafe practice. Second, we're having a kid and after seeing the CT stuff unfold on the news, she realized that the police don't prevent because they, like us, are not superhuman. She still doesn't carry much but we're working on that problem.
As far as what to do to get her to understand safety... you have options. First, you can teach her about them. Going by your word that a dog couldn't shoot one by accident (which could happen if it was loaded, btw, but no dog's chambering a round), isn't going to cut it. But, assuming the shotgun's a pump, if she sees and feels the effort needed to chamber a round, she would have no choice but to admit the dog's not shooting it. In the case of my wife, the old standard, "I don't like it," covers any unexplained fear. So, there may not be a "real" reason other than not liking guns... if that's the case, you're just going to have to come to some agreement. Another option is to put a safe in the room... under the bed's a really difficult place to retrieve a long gun anyway. She doesn't have to know if the safe's locked or not. A third option is to not tell her things... I'm not saying it's the best option but it's out there now. For instance... it's called concealed carry for a reason. She doesn't have to know. Don't wave it around, just shove it in your holster and move on. If you need to remove it while she's with you, odds are she'll be pretty glad.
someone is bound to come along and say, "just take her shooting!" as if that will make a believer out of anyone anywhere. I'm all for shooting, but that's not a cure all. Some people just don't like guns. For many of them, shooting adds visual, audio, smell of gunpowder, etc... and reinforces fears. So, while she may like it, it also may make the situation worse.
I think in your case, the best option is to show her how it works and get a small safe in the room. just leave the thing unlocked and you can get to a gun as fast as you need. If you do ever have kids, lock it then. (and put the pistol in the night stand quietly without a round chambered)

 

[9thchild]

Great replies so far, thank you all.

Court you have hit the nail on the head. Often times her explanation is simply "I do not like them."

As for going shooting, she has gone with me twice, and has fired my .22s. She doesn't like it, but at least she tried it. I have tried many times to explain to her how the firearms work, but she doesn't want to learn. She is afraid of the gun itself, even if she is absolutely positive it is unloaded and cannot harm her.

The snap-caps are a great idea. Perhaps I could beg her to sit down and hear me out for 15 minutes. Explain how my defense weapons operate and more importantly, how it is downright impossible for even the smartest of dogs to chamber a round, disengage a manual safety, and pull a trigger all while the muzzle is pointing in a dangerous location.

 

[1911Tuner]

She believes that a gun is only safe if it is unloaded and locked away.

This comes from a deep belief that guns can go off of their own accord. Try making the mindless machine with no will of its own argument, along with the automobile analogy.

She also believes that carrying a gun on your person is unsafe.

Explain that the gun only becomes unsafe with human interaction...and that it's the human being that is safe or unsafe...not the gun. Refer again to the above point.

and that the benefits of having a gun on you are outweighed by what she calls the "dangers."

You can agree that...statistically...carrying or not carrying a gun will seldom have an outcome on whether anyone arrives alive...but statistics mean little during a personal attack. For the one who, for whatever reason, comes under a violent, potentially lethal attack...the odds then become 100% that he or she will be attacked on that day.

Then, offer a demonstration. Buy a small, cheap safe at Wal-mart, and leave a loaded gun in the safe, fully under her control for a month in order to show her that it will not fire without a human hand on it.

If you make it that far, then the burden is on you to show her that you personally present no "danger" by carrying a gun. Good luck with that.

 

[mljdeckard]

Every person has to decide what level of accessability is appropriate for their household. some kids can be trusted completely. Some can be trusted cautiously. Some not at all. In my house RIGHT NOW, I have an M-1 carbine under the bed with the magazines attached but not inserted. I have a Remington 870 loaded with no round chambered and the slide locked. (NOT to be able to scare someone away with the sound of racking it.) My edc is usually on the dresser at night. This is the safety level that is appropriate MOST of the time. when I have my (technically ex step-) son over, who is 15, and a little loopy, I lock everything up.

Some people are in a life situation where they can leave loaded guns at various places in their house. Some need to lock all of them up all of the time.