JHP vs FMJ for Defense.

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The mixed load in the revolver was a conscious thought, though I would never consider it in a pistol.

The revolver was chosen as the primary "home defense weapon" because of the fact it can remain loaded for long periods of time without concern for springs under tension or other considerations that must be taken into account for a pistol. There was consideration, though brief, for a short, light, double shotgun or "coachgun" or perhaps something like the old Mossberg Defender. I like the thought of quantity 9, 9mm size projectiles unleashed simultaneously at around 1000fps. Though not the "cone of death" as portrayed in the movies, the spread would be only 1-4in in most situations around my home, the effects are devastating. Adding to the consideration was the previous conversations of penetration. I have neighbors, and more importantly I have very important people, whom I'm trying to protect, in close proximity to the potential gun battle. Ballistically, round pellets are poor performers once penetration begins. Taking out huge chunks of plaster or drywall with a near miss, lessens my concern for a high speed, ballistically efficient projectile sailing into the next bedroom relatively unimpeded. However, the unwieldiness of a long gun in potentially close quarters, ended that train of thought.

So why two comparatively anemic 38 Specials before I unleash the wrath of the mighty 357? Muzzle blast, flash and recoil. Home invaders, on average, are nocturnal. So the scenario is: I am jerked awake by a crash and my home alarm blaring, and my endocrine system dumps a gallon of adrenaline into my system instantaneously. At that point, I want to give myself every opportunity to make a good judgment, have good bullet placement, and more easily recover for a second shot (statistically, the first shot always goes high). A built in longer double action pull will give me a longer split second to positively identify friend or foe, the 38 Special I light off will give me better control due to lessened recoil and muzzle blast, and I won't be as blinded by the muzzle/gap flash. After two shots, if the bad guy is not down or running, statistically I am now in a barricade situation where cover is used and the gun fight continues. The 357 penetrates light cover better than the 38 Special, and at 5 to 20ft distance (general dimensions of open spaces/cover in my home), should have no issues. I am now fully cognizant of my surroundings (of which the bad guy is not), should have all my mental/physical faculties fully engaged, have overcome the bad guys tactical advantage of surprise, and can confidently continue the assault with full power 357.

As for the other points you make, they are absolutely valid and I find no fault with the logic. It is simply a matter of intense personal beliefs and believing in your choices. Mental preparedness, planning and confidence is 99% of this unfortunate state of affairs.
 
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