Carlos
Member
+1 Run away, fast. She's nothing but trouble.
My future wife outed me in a crowd
- Thread starter Rockrivr1
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+1 Run away, fast. She's nothing but trouble.
Working Man
Member
Lee Lapin said:
Now thats a keeper indeed.
one-shot-one
Member
+1
most of us do not know the motivation of what went down, talk first act after you have an understanding of what happened and she has an understanding of what will happen in the future.
PS a week may be long enough wait to have the talk but if they were close expect at least a year to be "mostly over" the death of a parent.
Kharn said:
most of us do not know the motivation of what went down, talk first act after you have an understanding of what happened and she has an understanding of what will happen in the future.
PS a week may be long enough wait to have the talk but if they were close expect at least a year to be "mostly over" the death of a parent.
Lifeliberty
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- Nov 3, 2005
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- 4
who cares if she outed you. I don't see the big deal. can someone explain? please of point me in the direction of a thread discussing the matter. I don't understand why it is a big secret that somone is packing.
lance22
Member
Not good, dude.
If you love the 2A, believe in carry on the basis of principle if not pragmatism, and want to be an activist for the cause ... you will always have to be less than youself in order to please her.
You can't be happy unless you experience personal growth. Being less than yourself is exactly the opposite.
This is a frequent topic, and the stories that I hear make me thankful for a wife who is supportive of the right to carry - anywhere and at all times.
If you love the 2A, believe in carry on the basis of principle if not pragmatism, and want to be an activist for the cause ... you will always have to be less than youself in order to please her.
You can't be happy unless you experience personal growth. Being less than yourself is exactly the opposite.
This is a frequent topic, and the stories that I hear make me thankful for a wife who is supportive of the right to carry - anywhere and at all times.
Hi Lifeliberty-
Welcome to one of the greatest firearm forums. I hope you enjoy your educational experience reading The High Road threads, I know I sure do!
My suggestion on why the woman making the reckless exclamation about the presence of a gun is a poor decision can be seen directly in this thread. Read each of the four previous pages to see how this could be a problem from a relationship, trust, and tactical point-of-view.
~ Blue Jays ~
Welcome to one of the greatest firearm forums. I hope you enjoy your educational experience reading The High Road threads, I know I sure do!
My suggestion on why the woman making the reckless exclamation about the presence of a gun is a poor decision can be seen directly in this thread. Read each of the four previous pages to see how this could be a problem from a relationship, trust, and tactical point-of-view.
~ Blue Jays ~
Darth Ruger
Member
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- Jul 30, 2005
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- 525
Lifeliberty said:
Just one of several such incidents I've heard about.mete said:
You're in it.Lifeliberty said:
gunsmith
member
my ex was the same way, one day after an argument
she called the cops and said "my BF is making threats and he has guns"
My threat was telling her I'm going to bed and she can argue with her self....thank God our other roomate was there.
she called the cops and said "my BF is making threats and he has guns"
My threat was telling her I'm going to bed and she can argue with her self....thank God our other roomate was there.
Mannlicher
Member
dump her quick, before you spend any more money on her. geez
mr.trooper
Member
LISTEN UP GUYS. THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU.
This is guna ruffle alot of feather, but frankly, I DON'T CARE.
Lesson #1: NEVER under ANY circumstance, ask anyone of THR for relationship advice. They will all just tell you to dump the second party.
Lesson #2) ALL OF YOU BABIES WHo RUN AWAY FORM RELATIONSHIPS AT THE DROP OF A HAT NEED TO GROW UP.
My Mother is very anti-gun. My Father had his own gun shop. They have been married for Thirty years. Regardless of what these Arm-chair counselors will tell you, PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT BELIEFS CAN HAVE A LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
You will NEVER find a single person on the face of the Earth that believs exactly the same as you. GET OVER IT.
Marriage is about Working out your differences, and looking out for each other. This is true regardless of temporal things like politics or emotional swoons.
If you Love her, Then you should marry her.
THE REST OF YOU NEED TO GROW UP.
This is guna ruffle alot of feather, but frankly, I DON'T CARE.
Lesson #1: NEVER under ANY circumstance, ask anyone of THR for relationship advice. They will all just tell you to dump the second party.
Lesson #2) ALL OF YOU BABIES WHo RUN AWAY FORM RELATIONSHIPS AT THE DROP OF A HAT NEED TO GROW UP.
My Mother is very anti-gun. My Father had his own gun shop. They have been married for Thirty years. Regardless of what these Arm-chair counselors will tell you, PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT BELIEFS CAN HAVE A LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
You will NEVER find a single person on the face of the Earth that believs exactly the same as you. GET OVER IT.
Marriage is about Working out your differences, and looking out for each other. This is true regardless of temporal things like politics or emotional swoons.
If you Love her, Then you should marry her.
THE REST OF YOU NEED TO GROW UP.
mr. trooper,
This thread isn't about people with differing views.
It's about someone publicly humiliating someone they're supposed to love.
And it's about someone choosing a method to publicly humiliate which is potentially dangerous in many situations.
However, I'm afraid the young lady in question has indicated that she is not interested in working out the differences--she's working on eliminating those differences by shaming her fiancee into submission. And that's NOT the same thing--not at all.
In fact, outing a person's carry habits in public is pretty much the OPPOSITE of "looking out for each other."
This thread isn't about people with differing views.
It's about someone publicly humiliating someone they're supposed to love.
And it's about someone choosing a method to publicly humiliate which is potentially dangerous in many situations.
Exactly correct.
However, I'm afraid the young lady in question has indicated that she is not interested in working out the differences--she's working on eliminating those differences by shaming her fiancee into submission. And that's NOT the same thing--not at all.
In fact, outing a person's carry habits in public is pretty much the OPPOSITE of "looking out for each other."
What? After all that talk about working out differences, now it turns out that you believe that anyone who disagrees with you is immature? Hmmmmm...
Sam
Member
Now that everyone has told you to find someone new, the word is not outed. the proper term is disclosed.
Sam
Sam
M-Rex
member
Unfortunately, that is not enough.
Lupinus
Member
Cause it makes you a target. You are in a bank and robbers come into the bank. Think they are shooting Grandma or the guy with a .44 magnum on his hip? It makes you a threat and the first thing a criminal will try to eliminate is a threat. That is why concealed carry is desireable. In some instances sure a big old gun strapped to your hip would stop a crime such as a mugging, but in others such as a bank robbery it makes you a target...of you don't get mugged and you jsut get shot in the back of the head.
So "Are you wearing your gun?!?" makes a big whoopsie and one that someday could cost you your life.
AStone
Member
LOLHunter Rose said:
\Oh, Rock, sorry for the laughter in your situation.
Been there, done that (slightly different reasons, but similar enough).
When I meet a woman these days, my first conversation goes something like this:
"Name?"
"Kids?" (If no, proceed.)
"Interests?" (If includes intellectual activities with some overlap to mine, music, outdoors (as in camping in big wilderness), sex...then proceed)
"How do you feel about guns?" (Negative is a deal stopper.)
I gotta go with the crowd here: grab them yellow & black handles, pull and enjoy the ride.
Condolenses, and I'm not talking about your girlfriends father.
Nem
PS: ok, ok, after reading the other three pages, maybe talk first. explain clearly, concisely & completely much of the advice in this thread, and that CCW is not negotiable, and that code words are required from henceforth.
If there is no agreement, then pull them handles...
Aguila Blanca
Member
Second.John Ross said:
First, she should have expected that if you routinely carry, you would carry at the funeral. Second, even if she hadn't expected it she certainly should have known enough to keep her pie hole closed about it in the middle of a crowd.
Call it off, and I am being absolutely serious about this. A marriage cannot succeed if the two people do not share core values. I should know, I've had three failed marriages and that was the bottom line in all three -- lack of a common value system. Your intended clearly does not share your values, and there WILL be problems over this in the future.
Aguila Blanca
Member
Cow patties.Mnemesyne said:
That's psycho-babble ... and it doesn't work. I spent several years as a marriage and family counselor. "Compromise" means that neither party feels satisfied, the one who compromised the most feels the least happy about it, and the resentment builds until the marriage fails due to weight of resentment.
A marriage can succeed only if two people enter it as whole, complete individuals and form a symbiotic union in which the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. This occurs when two whole, integrated people grow together based on a solid foundation of common values. It does not and CANNOT occur when the "marriage" is based on constantly making yourself less than you are in order to meet the other person's expectations.
Aguila Blanca
Member
Correct.Lupinus said:
How many people were within earshot of that remark? A lot -- and probably not all of them intimate friends of the family. While some friends of the family may simply be anti-gun and generate some negative feelings toward Rock as a result, the worst case scenario is that in that crowd might have been one of more persons who generate their livelihood by extra-legal means. Now they know he carries. As a result, they might avoid trying to rob him -- or they might target his home in the expectation of finding firearms, and they might decide that if they want to rob him personally the safe way to do it is to shoot first.
That's why her outing him was "not a good thing."
Lupinus
Member
Hawk-
I don't believe it is cow patties. It is a matter of compromise but also one of acceptence of the other persons ways.
For instance- If your after work regiment consists of a few hours at the range everyday after work (or bar or some other such place...name your favorite) that is fine and well if you are a single guy. It is not if you are married. If she goes with you? GREAT. But she doesn't have to share all your hobbies. What she DOES have to do is accept that that is what you are into. Cutting down from everyday to a few times a week is acceptable and a compromise. The same goes for her hobbies, if she likes to go shopping everyday that needs to cut down as well if you dislike shopping.
Certian core values help, but unless it is something you can do together and enjoy you have to compromise a bit. Not outright give up that is cow patties, but compromise and cutback is far from cow patties.
That said back to certian core values helping comment I made above. There there is not room for compromise. If you believe in carrying daily she needs to get used to that. Does she have to like or agree with it? No, but she has to accept it and if she can't then it is hit the road time.
I don't agree with simply saying get out of there now without talking to her. Maybe you are the first person she knows that carries a gun? That even owns a gun? Such can be a big adjustment for someone esspecialy in out increasingly anti-gun culture that more and more people grow up in. Explain it to her, get it in her head and judge it from there.
I don't believe it is cow patties. It is a matter of compromise but also one of acceptence of the other persons ways.
For instance- If your after work regiment consists of a few hours at the range everyday after work (or bar or some other such place...name your favorite) that is fine and well if you are a single guy. It is not if you are married. If she goes with you? GREAT. But she doesn't have to share all your hobbies. What she DOES have to do is accept that that is what you are into. Cutting down from everyday to a few times a week is acceptable and a compromise. The same goes for her hobbies, if she likes to go shopping everyday that needs to cut down as well if you dislike shopping.
Certian core values help, but unless it is something you can do together and enjoy you have to compromise a bit. Not outright give up that is cow patties, but compromise and cutback is far from cow patties.
That said back to certian core values helping comment I made above. There there is not room for compromise. If you believe in carrying daily she needs to get used to that. Does she have to like or agree with it? No, but she has to accept it and if she can't then it is hit the road time.
I don't agree with simply saying get out of there now without talking to her. Maybe you are the first person she knows that carries a gun? That even owns a gun? Such can be a big adjustment for someone esspecialy in out increasingly anti-gun culture that more and more people grow up in. Explain it to her, get it in her head and judge it from there.
mr.trooper
Member
Ditto Lupi.
was it determined that she was actualy tyring to humiliate him? If so, then i missed it.
I think it hard to believe that she was trying to make him a target. I think it more likely that she simply wasnt thinking strait at the time, from all that was hapening.
If not, then Im sorry.
Regardless, i still think its rediculous that everyones first reaction to any bump in the road is "Drop her like a sack of potatoes!", or "Run away while you still can!". Its Childish to "Run like Hell" the first time you run ito a problem. If thats your reaction to someone who thinks differently than you, then you will never have a lasting relationsip. So what if she is manipulative? Women who are not are the EXCEPTION. Unless she is intentionaly trying to humiliate you, or constantly trying to degrade or defame you, or reacting irationaly, then you realy do need to get used to it.
If im missing soemthing, then by all means, fill me in. Some times facts get lost in all the jibberish.
was it determined that she was actualy tyring to humiliate him? If so, then i missed it.
I think it hard to believe that she was trying to make him a target. I think it more likely that she simply wasnt thinking strait at the time, from all that was hapening.
If not, then Im sorry.
Regardless, i still think its rediculous that everyones first reaction to any bump in the road is "Drop her like a sack of potatoes!", or "Run away while you still can!". Its Childish to "Run like Hell" the first time you run ito a problem. If thats your reaction to someone who thinks differently than you, then you will never have a lasting relationsip. So what if she is manipulative? Women who are not are the EXCEPTION. Unless she is intentionaly trying to humiliate you, or constantly trying to degrade or defame you, or reacting irationaly, then you realy do need to get used to it.
If im missing soemthing, then by all means, fill me in. Some times facts get lost in all the jibberish.
Lupinus
Member
Trying? No. But I don't think the wife that blurts out durring a bank robbery to her husband "don't pull your gun" is trying to make him a target either.
Quite likly. But down to it stress is stress. Being in a bank while its getting robbed or a gun to your head I would imagine is pretty darned stressful.
Other then that I agree.
Quickdraw Limpsalot
Member
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- Oct 14, 2004
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mr.trooper said:
IMO, this is the bottom line and should be a no-brainer. (But I completely agree with the rest of your post, mr. trooper.)
Nicky Santoro
Member
My future wife outed me in a crowd
She's a young woman and was very upset. Cut her some slack this time. Explain to her the necessity of controlling such outbursts even if she is upset. If something similar happens again, you might wish to reevaluate the entire situation.
BTDT
She's a young woman and was very upset. Cut her some slack this time. Explain to her the necessity of controlling such outbursts even if she is upset. If something similar happens again, you might wish to reevaluate the entire situation.
BTDT
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