my mother passed away

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johnchamp

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please foregive me its been a while since i been on this forum i dont know if im in the right area? anyway my mother was diagnoised march,10 of multibile myoloma with complications of double pnunomia in her lungs she died june,7 of this year:( she was my best friend and i feel torn apart about this. i hope i am able to hold up because i been binging heavy on the alcohol too much. i had to make the decision to take my mother off the machine and i havent been the same since. please say a prayer for me that i get over this john thank you.
 
Prayer sent. Gather strength for your family, be who they lean on.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
 
thank you i drank 40 to 50 beers over the weekend and im getting bad pains in my back towards the right side. the drinking has been increasing for a while its just too much to take. i sure can use your guys support have any of you been in this situation?
 
My mother died in October of last year and it still hurts. I relied on my faith and the help of my church family to get through. GOD bless you in your time of loss.
 
"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints" Psalm 116:15

Prayers be with you, Please ease up with the drinking though. You've got more going for you than to sink completely in sorrow..
 
Lost my Mom several years ago after she came down with alziemers. It was tougher seeing her suffer from that than it was to let her go. She had lost most everything she'd been when I was growing up. We asked the Lord to return her dignity to her and that is what He did. The alchohol will not replace nor bring her back. Have the knowledge that she is in a better place now and suffers no more. She looks down on you every day, but she is with you in your thoughts and in your heart. Remember that as you pour the beer down the drain. Now pick yourself up, and go on about life. My prayers are with you.

I was diagnosed with kidney cancer back in January of this year. I was given as a guess that I have 18 months. I am not going to give up, lay down, or let this get me without a fight. I have met others with the same thing, and they have outlived what the doctors handed them, and I don't plan on giving up on the 18th month. God bless you .........
 
jchampagne,

Hi, I don't know you and I can't even imagine the pain your in. Your heart must really be hurting right now. If you want, message me and we can talk. I, and lots of other people on THR, are here for you. It's ok to feel the way you do. You don't have to cover up the pain, and it won't go away on its own for a while anyway. If you can, remember your mother with others who loved her and share in the feelings of grief you are all going through. If you can't bring yourself to do that, or if they can't, you can email me through my username to get anything you want off your chest. I've been in the position of trying to numb pain before.
 
jchampagne--A prayer sent for you and your mom.

Now for some other stuff: It sounds like you've got a drinking problem and need to kick it bad before you end up in a worse way. Drinking has never solved a problem. Until you are emotionally stable kick Mr. Budweiser to the curb and you'll feel less pain.

Also I obviously didn't know your Mom but I seriously doubt she'd want you to drink yourself stupid because of her. Honor her memory by being sober. If you had to make the call on pulling the plug that sucks but in all honesty doing so ended your Mother's sufferring and sent her to a better place. Often times the cruellest thing to do is to leave someone on Life Support and artificially prolong their sufferring. I know God forbid I'm ever the one on Life Support I hope my family has the fortitude to let me go. It's hard to lose a loved one but you should in NO WAY feel responsible.

NOW DROP THE BOOZE--sober up and go out find a shooting buddy and bust some clays or plink some targets. Get addicted to something that is actually fun and won't land you dead or in jail.

GG&G --I have a Great Uncle that had a similar situation to yours the Docs gave him a year or so....That was around 1997 and I ate Breakfast with him this morning. He's been through several rounds of treatments including relapse and remission cycles but all in all he gets around better than most guys his age. FWIW he also fought in WWII and got shot up a bit so he's a pretty tough old dude. Keep a positive attitude and keep fighting!
 
My prayers are with you.

My mother died of a stroke back on December 2, 1978. I was heartbroken for the longest time. I was in the military, was coming home soon and she had a party planned for me. When I left little did I know that it was my last time seeing her alive.

You'll never get over her but time will sooth your loss. I still miss her dearly. My consolation is that she didn't suffer and is happily with God.

Your mother's no longer suffering and is also now with God. She's happy and is smiling down at you. She doesn't want you to be sad, she wants you to rejoice and celebrate her home going.
 
A friend's mother had a stroke that made her unable to swallow. Her wishes were known to the doctor and the family, but it was still a difficult decision not to insert a feeding/drinking tube. Several days later she passed. Tough situation, but everyone felt the right thing was done.

You can and should feel that you did the right thing also. It wasn't easy for you, but it was right. Grieving your loss is normal and healthy, but doing the wrong thing now, is not the solution -- it is the path to more grief. Get whatever help you need to celebrate the relationship you had with with your mother. There is now room in your life for other relationships, but "enablers" are not your friends. If you could choose the outcome 30 days from now, what would it be, and is there any reason not to strive for what you wish? We all want to see you work through this successfully, but we can not make the minute-to-minute and day-to-day decisions that you need to make for yourself. Prayer will do what you can't do for yourself, but you must take an active role in navigating your course. I too am praying for you.
 
Sorry for your loss. We lost Dad 5 years ago and Mom passed away about 2 years ago. Both Mom and Dad are in Heaven and are no longer suffering. Dad had cancer and it was real tough seing him suffer so much. Mom had a stroke and a bad back and it was tough to see her suffer too. A second stroke took her life and she died in her sleep. I take comfort in knowing they are in a better place where there is no more pain or suffering.

Drinking is NOT the solution to your problem. It's a temporary "fix". You need to grieve for your loss and realize that your Mom is no longer suffering. That's what got us thru our losses.

I just prayed that you would quit drinking and that the Good Lord would see you thru your loss. I hope the pain on your right side goes away, but if it doesn't please seek professional help. Stay in touch if you wish as I've been there too. I quit drinking in 1979. No it wasn't easy, but it was worth it in a huge way.

Good luck and God Bless.
 
im sorry for you loss
i lost my father a week before thanksgiving 2007
when the pain hits you its strongest show streanth and endure
its not easy to lose someone you love and its even worse when its someone that is as close as a parent but you can and will find the courage and power to continue on have faith that all things happen for a reason
i screamed at the heavins when i lost my father but i look back and think how much worse he could have suffered with lung cancer and chemo treatments i watched my 250LBS strong as a bull father wither away and im glad he didnt suffer long because he didnt deserve it
you will find it inside you to carry on

good will and God bless you and yours
 
jchampagne,

I feel for you. I lost my mother on July 12th. The last month of her life she was incoherent and on a ventilator. She eventually was weaned off the ventilator, but an infection is what took her in the end. I find comfort in considering it a blessing that she no longer suffers. My mother was for her physical impairments, an active intelligent woman. it's been said before, but the alcohol only masks the pain. I've had boughts of my grieving manifesting itself physically. Your mother is no longer suffering. I'll pray for you.
 
First, I am sorry to read of your loss. The day I lost my son to a doctor's malpractice I had to dig real deep inside to find the strength I needed. You won't find strength at the bottom of even the prettiest bottle. You have the strength inside. Place it in God's hands and leave it there. Stop taking it back on yourself.

PM me anytime.

Geno
 
God bless you, I know where you are right now. I just started going to a Grief Support Group. It has helped. We are 3 weeks into an 8 week "course." When you are ready, if you want to, see if there is one in your area.

I hope and pray for you and wish you peace.
 
First, I am sorry to hear about your loss.
You need to quit on the alcohol and sort out your future life.
It is hard to deal with a death of a parent.
However this is what nature has in for us.
Settle your mothers estate and say good by.
You have to move on with your life and that is what your mother did when her parents pasted on and it's what she wants you to do.
 
Jchampagne,
Sorry for your loss, i lost my mother ten years ago, i wont lie it doesn't get easier but if any of us know we just learn to live with our losses and except the things that we can't change.
Keep your head up and trust in GOD even when we don't understand.
frankiestoys
 
sorry to hear about your mom dieing...... keep her memory close to your heart but live your life.................... JJB
 
Condolences

Sorry to hear of your loss:( I lost my Mom the day after Thanksgiving '07 and just lost my sister July 17 to a MERSA infection she tried to treat herself.:confused:+1 for grief counseling. My Dad went twice, found it helpful and went back to help with what he'd learned. May God touch your heart and bring you some peace.
 
God Bless you and im sorry for your loss. Im sure your mom would not want you to drink and that she wants you to move on and enjoy your life. Losing ones parents is always a hard thing to endure but know this that your mom is in a better place and she wants YOU to be happy.
 
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