my mother passed away
- Thread starter johnchamp
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Supertac45
Member
God bless. My Dad passed away a few months before I shipped out to Vietnam the first time. Came home and 4 months later went back. Came back after another year and my brother was killed. Was set to go back again and my Mom passed away. My date was firm due to my occupation at the time, so never made it the third time. Then I was divorced. The God that created us never gives us more than we can handle. It just seems that way. Your in my prayers.
DELTAJOHN
Member
Hey man, sorry for your loss. I lost my Mama about 4 years ago, you never get used to the loss. I lost my Dad just 5 days after your Mom, this past June. I've been back to CT at least 5 times, caring for Dad in his last days, and helping my siblings clean out his place, all I can say is "IT SUCKS"! I share your pain, hang in there, and remember the "sauce" only postpones having to deal fully with the reality of the loss, hang in there, it gets better with time.
John
John
the lone gunman
Member
So sorry for your loss, My prayers are with you.
ole farmerbuck
Member
Trust me, alcohol is not the way out! Been there done that. I used to live on alcohol when my sister died and when i got divorced. I have nine years of of alcohol free life now which i'm proud of. I feel for you very much but alcohol is only a coverup. Now i have a sister slowly passing with a glioma brain tumor. It isnt easy but i'm not going to drink over it. She wouldnt want me to and neither would your Mother want you to. You can pm me your # if you want. I'm pretty well educated in the alcohol thing.
bikerdoc
Moderator In Memoriam
Respect and admiration to you ole farmerbuck. Prayers for you and your sister sent
O P add me to list of those ready to talk by PM or phone. been clean and sober since 3/17/77.
O P add me to list of those ready to talk by PM or phone. been clean and sober since 3/17/77.
johnchamp
Member
today was a bad day for me! im spiraling out of control because today makes 2 months shes been gone tears coming out of my eyes non stop!
i cant get over the loss of her she was my best friend. the dr wants to put me on paxil or zoloft for anxiety attacks i cant do that. why doesnt she come around me so that i know shes ok? where do people go when they die? do they go to heaven right away & get judged?
i cant get over the loss of her she was my best friend. the dr wants to put me on paxil or zoloft for anxiety attacks i cant do that. why doesnt she come around me so that i know shes ok? where do people go when they die? do they go to heaven right away & get judged?
CoRoMo
Member
PM sent.
The Deer Hunter
Member
I'm sorry for your loss man. I know how much my Mum means to me, I can't begin to imagine the pain you must be going through.
Keep your head up and keep on keepin on.
Do you have any friends or family you can spend some time with?
Keep your head up and keep on keepin on.
Do you have any friends or family you can spend some time with?
johnchamp
Member
no i have a disfunctional family i live with my brother but we dont talk that much hello & goodbye sort of speak. im really why am i still here? why doesnt god take me now?
i live with my brother but we dont talk that much hello & goodbye sort of speak. im really why am i still here? why doesnt god take me now?
bikerdoc
Moderator In Memoriam
Knock it off an PM one of us Now!
jchampagne,
You need to talk to someone. Probably not me, but someone.
Your talking about a non-reversible (and wrong) solution to a solvable problem.
Ask someone to call you, either by PM or in this thread. There are lots of caring people here who are willing to help.
You need to talk to someone. Probably not me, but someone.
Your talking about a non-reversible (and wrong) solution to a solvable problem.
Ask someone to call you, either by PM or in this thread. There are lots of caring people here who are willing to help.
megatronrules
Member
I'm so sorry to read about your mom. I lost mother in May of '07,she was diaognosed with breast cancer in september of '04. Those few years were very painful for both my mother and our family. She was in remission for almost 16 months,but when her cancer returned the doctors gave us grim news.
Mom's cancer had spread to her bones and lungs. The Doctors gave my mother 3 months to live,she was a very religious woman and said her faith in god would carry her through. It did my mom lived for 6 months longer than the doctors predicted. And she did this without the chemo she had stopped the chemo because it made her very sick and it did nothing to slow the cancer anymore.
The strange thing is that for almost 4 months mom's cancer hadn't progressed,this was without chemo. The doctors were shocked as in their words they had no medical explanation for this. I believe as mom did that her faith in god kept her alive as long as it did. Keep the faith and think of all the good times you and your mom had. Trust me it never goes away completly but it does get better,hang in there.
Mom's cancer had spread to her bones and lungs. The Doctors gave my mother 3 months to live,she was a very religious woman and said her faith in god would carry her through. It did my mom lived for 6 months longer than the doctors predicted. And she did this without the chemo she had stopped the chemo because it made her very sick and it did nothing to slow the cancer anymore.
The strange thing is that for almost 4 months mom's cancer hadn't progressed,this was without chemo. The doctors were shocked as in their words they had no medical explanation for this. I believe as mom did that her faith in god kept her alive as long as it did. Keep the faith and think of all the good times you and your mom had. Trust me it never goes away completly but it does get better,hang in there.
bikerdoc
Moderator In Memoriam
Thanks for the Pm call Geno or me
johnchamp
Member
you know my mom was so stunnig when she was younger! please just anyone check out aldersonfuneralhome.com her picture is there elsie e champagne. i have to go im really crying hevy talk to you later.
Steven Youngblood
Member
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2008
- Messages
- 177
I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
My prayers are with you.
My prayers are with you.
Polar Express
Member
I never thought I'd be writing a 'dear John' letter, but here goes:
Dear John,
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know you, or your family, but I am very close to my mother, and I can only imagine what pain you may be going through.
I can only hope that you can take comfort that her pain was short-lived, and after reading the details of her service published on the funeral home site, it appears she was a lady of faith, and by my beliefs, she is now in a better place.
I'm also sorry that your sibling situation is not giving you the support that you want. That's not an easy situation to be in. We can't choose our family, and I've had to face that as well in my life, so I know what that can be like.
This next part may be a bit harder to read, but I promise it is intended with kindness, compassion, and support.
There are many on this forum that have offered to help you. That is a remarkable and wonderful thing! I think overall, the members on this forum are showing a wonderful character level by offering to help you. Post after post (I'm sure you've read them all) offering prayers, and willingness to listen to you if you need an ear. I suspect there are those that would even meet you to talk over a cup of coffee or a milkshake.
It seems that you realize the drinking will not solve the problems, or overcome challenges in life. Hopefully, you’ll decide to do something about that, and I pray that is sooner rather than later. If you continue this pattern, it will kill you, and can take others with you. I don't believe that's how God wants us to live, or die.
According to the obituary, you have children and/or nieces & nephews. This is a position of responsibility. As adults, it's our job to display a pattern of behavior that is worth emulating. This means we need to behave in a responsible manner. It's OK to cry, it's OK to miss someone dearly. And it's OK to stumble and make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. We as men (and women) should not be evaluated by our successes, but rather by how we deal with our mistakes. Showing Christopher, Jason, Sky, Jason, Kobe and Cameron that you can accept help when you need it is one way to do just that. We're not meant to walk through life on our own. That's why that 'footprints' story is so wonderful. There are many on this forum (and perhaps others that are not on here) that have offered their hand in support, but in order for that to work, you must choose to accept it. Send us your phone number; we'll even make the call (I know how calling a stranger can be very scary sometimes).
It's OK to stumble and fall; (you haven't failed yet, you only fail if you don't get back up and keep going) it's OK to need help getting up! Most of us have been there, and I believe God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.
Please, accept help, and be that example to others of how to accept help when you need it. If you make the right choices, this world can be a better place for the example you set.
I hope you make that choice, and soon.
PE
Dear John,
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know you, or your family, but I am very close to my mother, and I can only imagine what pain you may be going through.
I can only hope that you can take comfort that her pain was short-lived, and after reading the details of her service published on the funeral home site, it appears she was a lady of faith, and by my beliefs, she is now in a better place.
I'm also sorry that your sibling situation is not giving you the support that you want. That's not an easy situation to be in. We can't choose our family, and I've had to face that as well in my life, so I know what that can be like.
This next part may be a bit harder to read, but I promise it is intended with kindness, compassion, and support.
There are many on this forum that have offered to help you. That is a remarkable and wonderful thing! I think overall, the members on this forum are showing a wonderful character level by offering to help you. Post after post (I'm sure you've read them all) offering prayers, and willingness to listen to you if you need an ear. I suspect there are those that would even meet you to talk over a cup of coffee or a milkshake.
It seems that you realize the drinking will not solve the problems, or overcome challenges in life. Hopefully, you’ll decide to do something about that, and I pray that is sooner rather than later. If you continue this pattern, it will kill you, and can take others with you. I don't believe that's how God wants us to live, or die.
According to the obituary, you have children and/or nieces & nephews. This is a position of responsibility. As adults, it's our job to display a pattern of behavior that is worth emulating. This means we need to behave in a responsible manner. It's OK to cry, it's OK to miss someone dearly. And it's OK to stumble and make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. We as men (and women) should not be evaluated by our successes, but rather by how we deal with our mistakes. Showing Christopher, Jason, Sky, Jason, Kobe and Cameron that you can accept help when you need it is one way to do just that. We're not meant to walk through life on our own. That's why that 'footprints' story is so wonderful. There are many on this forum (and perhaps others that are not on here) that have offered their hand in support, but in order for that to work, you must choose to accept it. Send us your phone number; we'll even make the call (I know how calling a stranger can be very scary sometimes).
It's OK to stumble and fall; (you haven't failed yet, you only fail if you don't get back up and keep going) it's OK to need help getting up! Most of us have been there, and I believe God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.
Please, accept help, and be that example to others of how to accept help when you need it. If you make the right choices, this world can be a better place for the example you set.
I hope you make that choice, and soon.
PE
preachnhunt
Member
PM sent
jim in Anchorage
Member
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2009
- Messages
- 2,849
jchampagne,I lost my mom in 2003 and as you said with yours,she was my best friend. I went through a period where my mindset was why bother doing anything if I can't call ma and tell her about it? But I can tell you time will soften it. Not make it go away entirely[never] but I no longer think about it first thing in the morning.
I am living my life as best I can, I am certain thats what my mom wanted, and I have zero doubt your mom wished the same for you.
By the way, I am extremely proud of the support you THR members have offered. It is a special group.
I am living my life as best I can, I am certain thats what my mom wanted, and I have zero doubt your mom wished the same for you.
By the way, I am extremely proud of the support you THR members have offered. It is a special group.
Gadzooks Mike
Member
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2009
- Messages
- 411
My condolences, jchampagne. Not a day goes by when I don't remember my own parents. I was fortunate - never mistreated physically or emotionally, and I like to think they raised me well. I've never faced anything like you just did, but something that gets me past the rough spots is this - simply reverse the roles. Would you want your son or daughter feeling bad for making a tough decision?
My prayers are with you. Stay well.
My prayers are with you. Stay well.
Maverick223
Member
jchampagne I am sorry for your loss, I recently lost my very close grandmother (more like a second mother really) and am still trying to figure everything out. It has been hard, and I will never forget that lady...she was the greatest person that I have known and am likely to ever know...but things do settle after some time. It gives me peace knowing that she has gone on to be with the Lord. It gives me solace knowing how she enriched other people's lives in all that she did...she really lives on through all of the people she touched. Keep in mind that your mother, like my grandmother, lives through you...as difficult as it is to live without someone, we must honor them by trying to live as they did, and taught us to. In honor of your mother, I would like to encourage you to please leave the alcohol alone. I have not dealt with alcoholism myself, and therefore will not pretend to understand it, but I have a very good friend that is currently dealing with it and have learned a great deal from his poor decisions. I understand that it is very difficult, but please try to take control and understand that neither your problem not the loss of your mother is from any fault that you have committed. Become involved with other activities to take the place of the alcohol. I would also like to urge you to contact one of the many people (such as a pastor, AA, or a trusted friend that has dealt with the issues that you face) that are better equipped to help you with your disease. Friend, you are in my prayers.
eatont9999
Member
John,
Several years ago I held my grandfather in my arms as he took his last breath. He was the closest thing to a father I ever had. I understand your pain. Time heals all wounds. It took me years to get things completely back in order. I was too young to drink, but I am sure I would have. Don't become an alcoholic; I am sure your mother would not like that. I understand drinking helps numb the pain, but you will have to face reality some time. The sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can get back on track. I think the best way you can get over your pain is to talk about it. Call some friends and get it off your chest.
Several years ago I held my grandfather in my arms as he took his last breath. He was the closest thing to a father I ever had. I understand your pain. Time heals all wounds. It took me years to get things completely back in order. I was too young to drink, but I am sure I would have. Don't become an alcoholic; I am sure your mother would not like that. I understand drinking helps numb the pain, but you will have to face reality some time. The sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can get back on track. I think the best way you can get over your pain is to talk about it. Call some friends and get it off your chest.
ArizonaTRex
Member
JC I know what you are feeling, My Mom passed away May 1st, and I just had to take my wonderful wife off of life support two weeks ago. I've lost my Mother and my soulmate.
I know the pain is unbearable!
Please don't drink it will only make you feel worse!
Get help, talk to someone now. If you do not have family to help you thru this then listen to the people here that are offering to help you. Go to Church, any church can help you even if you ar not a memeber , even the funeral home has the ability to steer you toward people to help you through this.
I know the pain is unbearable!
Please don't drink it will only make you feel worse!
Get help, talk to someone now. If you do not have family to help you thru this then listen to the people here that are offering to help you. Go to Church, any church can help you even if you ar not a memeber , even the funeral home has the ability to steer you toward people to help you through this.
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