Maybe I am just odd, but my first reaction to "don't load it until I'm gone" was she probably didn't want to write up a report on a negligent discharge (it happens to cops all the time so you never know).
Sounds like a bad situation to have to be involved in, and the cop was obviously out of bounds in asking why you were carrying. As far as I'm concerned if you are legal they have no right to ask why you are doing it (I mean seriously think about the questions a birthday clown must get when pulled over. "Why are you dressed like a clown? Are you wearing Clown-shoes? Are there 30 other clowns stowed in the trunk?"). I guess I am just a libertarian at heart. Cops can ask me just the facts then get off my lawn (not Anti LEO just don't think people should not be bothered if following the law).