OK, so what the heck is a "mall ninja"?

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Someone may come along and give a better definition, but my take is someone who could not physically or mentally perform the job of cop/soldier but buys all the gadgets, dresses in black, and "patrols" the malls.

Have you seen The Incredibles? If so, the little boy who turns out to be "Syndrome" is a mall-ninja-in-training.

java
 
Here we go...

Imagine someone that has lights, lasers, grips, bayonets, extra mags, reflex sights, scopes and whatever else is tacticool on something like say an m4.

Do you imagine that person actually uses it? Probably not since it wouldn't take long to see a lot isn't needed and the extra weight isn't worth it. It's people who think they need/want cool things but have no practical experience (aka it's all for looks). They also tend to have fantasies that they will one day take on an entire gang at ranges from 700 yds to point blank so they can use all toys on their guns.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know people who have quite a bit of accessories on their m4 and NEED them to be flexible because that is their job. It's the people that haven't really found out why they need the things they have.

Basically read the link above. Good entertainment, in fact I think I'll read it again. Not that I haven't had fantasies of being armed like the matrix, but 6 glocks in 40 cal? At least mix it up and use pretty stainless guns!

Hope this helps...
 
My favorite part is the whole "When I'm standing guard over their lives like a god" quote. I thought I was going to pee my pants I was laughing so hard...
 
The origins of the term "Mall Ninja" came from Mall Security (or some other lowly form of unarmed "rent-a-cop") that didn't qualify to become a "real" cop so they approached their Mall Security job like they were a spec ops guy working for Blackwater.

511 tactical pants, tactical boots, tactical gloves (all in black of course), three different Sure Fire lights, etc.

Those few Mall Ninjas that could carry on the job of course packed HKs in tactical thigh holsters.


Now days its a term that gets attached to anyone that is not a professional "operator" that has all the tactical stuff on their guns.
 
I used to work in a cutlery store in a mall, and we thought that we had coined the phrase. Ours meant somethign a little different, than is presented here, but it really is the same kind of person. We used to always get the guys with the black "Hot Topic" trenchcoats, who would come in and ask to se the samurai swords. They would lecture us on how we had it on the stand wrong, how to hold it, and when it was unsheathed it HAD to draw blood before it was resheathed. Some of them would actually "pray" to it, before unsheathing it. They swore to us that they were taking "ninjitsu" classes in the adjacent redneck, white trash town (we're talking "The Hills have Eyes"). And while we did carry high end handmade katanas, they couldn't tell the difference between those and the chinese crap. Oh man, I miss those days.
 
what the heck is a "mall ninja"?
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He's the guy who protects your rectal virginity from marauding bands of teenagers who would gang rape you in the mall bathroom between the video arcade and Hot Topic.

You may have seen him riding around on his electric tactical response vehicle or walking up the walls with his special ninja boots.

:cool:
 
Mall Ninja = Someone so ugly they have to take special training to sneak up on a good deal in a mall.

jj
 
Pax Jordana
If even ONE POST is saved by googling, then all those THR rules are worth it. it's for the KIDS!! For our nation's future! for spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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Wow! Do you normally start drinking this early in the day?? :neener: :D
 
A mall ninja is usually a newbie firearms owner, who wishes to appear knowledgeable. He's constantly purchasing high-end "tactical" gadgets to bolster this image. Anything a swat team, or the Navy SEALS might use will eventually be clipped to his belt.

Eventually, he can no longer conceal the full size Glock, 5 spare hi-cap magazines, Mace, Taser, handcuffs, expandable baton, and "tactical" pocket knives on his belt. He then changes his wardrobe to 5.11 "tactical" pants, and photography vests with over 12 pockets... all in black, of course, which is a better "tactical" choice for concealment. This wardrobe change allows him to add three SureFire "tactical" flashlights to his "carry load"... one with a clear lens, one with a red lens (for preserving his night vision), and one with a blue lens (for use under water)... and don't forget at least 1 dozen spare batteries for extended use during prolonged "tactical" situations.

Mall ninjas are also noted for their tendency to describe anyone carrying just snubbie revolver, or a small auto in a caliber less than 9mm, as a "Fudd."
 
"and one with a blue lens (for use under water).."

i assume this would be for a firefight in the mall's water fountain. maybe someones trying to steal the change? or has the pet store had issues with terrierist hanging out in the saltwater fishtanks?
 
bwhaahahahaaah that threads a classic
As my psi would say
"pray continue I consider myself a bit of a bull****ter at times but I love to listen to a master at work ":evil:
 
Heh... I had two of 'em called on me once... A friend's daughter (he's a fireman, she's an EMT trainee) got taken at a "photo studio" where she walked in with a hundred dollar gift certificate, and before she knew it, they upsold her to a $3,000 package. So, on a nice Saturday, I threw a little scene.

They were quite polite. So was I. Made sure I mentioned things like "fireman" and "EMT" - and how did a $100 gift turn into $3,000? Endgame was I didn't get thrown out of the mall, and the tirade lasted a bit longer...

Which reminds me - it's about time to do it again.
 
Hahahaha

bluestarlizzard "and one with a blue lens (for use under water).."

i assume this would be for a firefight in the mall's water fountain. maybe someones trying to steal the change? or has the pet store had issues with terrierist hanging out in the saltwater fishtanks?
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Quit it already..... you're killing me.... Bluestarlizzard, you my son, are a master (and you owe me a keyboard):)
 
But always, ALWAYS remember...

Dispenser 4 Hire said:
If plan A is for you to take multiple rounds of .308 in your back, I would come up with a plan B.
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