OK, so what the heck is a "mall ninja"?

[stan in sc]

If you are old enough or country enough then you have heard the term "drugstore cowboy".A wannabe who dresses up like a cowboy and then all he does is hang around the drug store in days gone by.
Sadly drug stores are no longer the meeting places they were when I was young(er) having been replaced by malls.So now you have the mall equivalent of a drugstore cowboy who is called a Mall ninja.Same mentality person in different uniform.

Stan(old fella)

 

[spentbrass]

OMG, that is the most funniest thing I've read on the Internet!

 

[Big Boomer]

OMG I almost missed this thread! Have to post my famous pic!

 

[ArfinGreebly]

Gecko45 vs Gunkid

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but . . .

Gecko45 parodied the Mall Ninja persona, but there was another character who took his work WAY too seriously: Gunkid.

Our own XavierBreath did a requiem for Gunkid on his blog.

Whereas Gecko45 brought tears of laughter to your eyes, the man who single-handedly drove dozens of moderators to drink was Gunkid.

I have studiously avoided chasing down any of his archival material. I value my sanity.

 

[lloydkristmas]

THIS is a mall ninja :

http://forum.saiga-12.com/index.php?showtopic=20911

I have exhausted my resources and poured over countless SHTF threads in an attempt to establish an official formula for calculating the likelihood that you are a mall ninja.

(b) +/- (B^2 x (3+A-Cy)) / 2(X)-h
Where "b" is the number of ATI products you have on your shotgun or SKS. (Go ahead and multiply this number by 2 if your SKS has a scope). "B" is the number of items in your "tactical SHTF inventory" that were marketed for airsoft wargames. "A" is the difference between the actual number of magazine pouches your airsoft vest has and the actual number of magazines you own. Go ahead and square "A" if you have ever watched anime porn. "C" is your waist size and "y" is the number of days you have spent in real live combat. This number should cancel to zero so dont worry about it. Then we divide by 2 times "X" which is typically defined as the number of quarters your boss gives you in case you need to call the real police. Lastly, we will use "h" to refer to the number of times you have secretly wondered how cool it would be to slip on that Boba Fett helmet and live out your zombie-killing dream in style. Dont forget to carry the 1.

 

[bogie]

Al Quaeda in airports isn't what we need to worry about these days... People are relatively complacent, in a general sort of way, but put Ab-Duhl in an airplane, and have him announce that he's rerouting the flight, and the passengers are going to start pulling off pieces that are important to him...

However, the shopping mall is an area where the Mall Ninja actually is our thin black cordura line of defense against terrorism... Sad thing is, most of 'em are way to concerned with making sure nobody litters the food court...

 

[HKUSP45C]

THIS is a mall ninja :

http://forum.saiga-12.com/index.php?showtopic=20911

I disagree. If you read the guys posts he wasn't posturing or pretending. He took some goofy pictures in a lot of silly gear and posted it as a lark.

He sounds like a pretty squared away fellow if you actually read his posts and what he has to say. Heck, he even took it pretty well becoming the poster boy for "Mall Ninja" on several gun boards very quickly.

Posing for a goofy picture and admitting it's a silly thing to do, but it's fun is a far cry from actually believing that your security gaurd status equates your existence to God.

He never claims to be a bad ***, he doesn't brag about training or "tac. missions" at the school he gaurds. He seems like a regular guy who, unfortunately. posted some pics on the internet that drew a lot of heat. He even defended himself fairly eloquently.

Nope, I disagree with your assessment.

 

[Gunnerpalace]

Arfin has challenged me, to Google I go

http://www.thegunzone.com/forum_advice.html

http://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/2006/07/target-is-dismounted-troll-in-open.html THR is mentioned

After a semi-exhaustive search I could not find any of his (probably just as well), But I did find what I believe to be one of his quotes:
I got a boresnake JAMMED in my .30 barrel, never mind how. Any suggestions how to get it out?
Or just go to a gunsmith

He Supposedly said

Well DUH you shoot it out!!!

OK Later folks.

 

[TimboKhan]

You guys can say what you want about Gecko45, but I think that guy is a brilliant satirist. It makes me laugh even harder that so many people got so fired up at him! I mean, it's one thing to take a comment or two the wrong way, but c'mon... It would be funny if you read his comments on their own, but it's even funnier when you read the non-troll comments.

 

[Pax Jordana]

I think that guy is a brilliant satirist.

agreed. a man who can laugh at himself will never run out of material.

As for spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... well this is the high road so I didn't wanna insult anybody, but I reserve my right to throw a righteous fit when such tactical gods are questioned (freedom of religion - it's my first amendment right!)

 

[yesit'sloaded]

More mall ninja goodness.

 

[unreal45]

Unlike other ninjas, mall ninjas are easy to spot.

 

[Eric F]

So would one be consitered a mall ninja if they showed up to a 3gun match with all of the fore mentioned items and they were not a Military/LE person?

Just asking as I use to shoot 3 gun matches and I had the minimum but my budy had 3 optics on the rifle speed loaders and junk for the shotgun and a slew of junk on the pistol assault vests boots knives blah blah blah. And he is an IT guy in real life with no real use for any of this stuff other than to suit his dreams of getting into a gunfight with no less than 50 people.

 

[Geronimo45]

So would one be consitered a mall ninja if they showed up to a 3gun match with all of the fore mentioned items and they were not a Military/LE person?

Not necessarily. The Mall Ninja is all smoke and no fire. If he's got a pack of fancy equipment and can't work any of it worth a flip, he's a Mall Ninja.