Cartridge spec, energy numbers, weights, barrel lengths, etc are all good numbers to take into account when buying a gun but I have found recoil to be subjective depending on the person, the way they hold the gun, size of grip, shape of grip, bore axis, etc.
This became obvious to me when I bought my Gen 3 Glock 19. I called it my “Jones Gun”. As in “keeping up with the Joneses”. I bought it because everyone else I knew had one and I “needed” one too. I hated that gun from the first moment I pulled the trigger. The recoil surprised me. I didn’t like the way it felt. My aim was off by 15 degrees too high (did some experiments to figure this out).
Anyway, I held onto the gun and shot it very little. Then one day I was at a range and it saw a guy shooting a G19 and he was raving about it. Long story short he had sent his gun away and had the finger grooves removed and he had some stippling done. He let me shoot it. What a difference in felt recoil. It was much better. My “point” aim was still off, due to the hump, but the recoil “felt” better just by the removal of the finger grooves.
Rather than modify the gun I sold it. It didn’t really fit me, the rear hump threw off my aim. I now have a 19X and I love it. My next Glock will be a Gen 5 G34.