Want to bring a friend to the range, but his Mom won't let him. Any advice for me?

[duckfoot]

Boys have a habbit of becoming men, weather mothers like it or not. Let it be. If you two are true friends, he'll be around down the road. Then again friends, will come and go out of your life, and you might make another who can go shooting with ya.

 

[Black92LX]

That's a tough one. but unfotunatly i am going to have to cast my vote on the leave it alone side for now. and it is due to your age. i know it sucks, but i just recently exited that age restriction boat myself. and know exaclty what it is like. I had a safe full of rifles and shotguns yet when i would go to the gun store some places wouldn't even let me touch a handgun. yet i had my 870 at home that i could throw a slug in and do a whole hell of a lot more damage than the 9mm Sig that i wanted to fondle.

I am having the same problem with my girlfriends mom. My girlfriend can go with me no problem. I am 21 and she is 19. But i want to take her little sister who just turned 16 but that is a no according to her mom. it was too the point where i was just going to take her eventhough her mom said no. On the account of her "I don't like guns" rhetoric. But i invited the mom to come along and she agreed. now if i can just get some time off work to get them out there.

 

[MeekandMild]

Best let it alone. It is one's duty to honor their parents so you would not want to interfere with that duty. You don't want to sabotage the growth and learning on both sides of the relationship.

With an attitude like that chances are very high this is not their last conflict and she must grow a great deal as a person. The time will come when she's old and decrepit and he will be tempted to interfere with her life "for her own good". Perhaps the memory of how much this chafed will teach him to be kind and considerate and not a tyrant to her when she is old and weak and senile. Perhaps he will do for her one day as he wishes she had done for him.

 

[joab]

he'd probably say no becase he doesn't like getting into other people's business

Smart man. Good policy

It's her son and she has the right to raise him as she sees fit,
Put yourself in her position, How would you like it if somone tried to influence your family in a way that you disaproved of.
At least she's wiiling to let him do paintball so she's not trying to make him a total Lib.
However it should be noted that several noted pro- gun people disapprove of paintball because it teaches you to point a gun and pull the trigger on a human being. In other words it's politically incorrect

 

[The_Antibubba]

Put something else in his hands

Like books. You do own books about firearms and shooting, right? I think In The Gravest Extreme by Ayoob is one every gun owner (or future gun owner) should have. Get him a membership to JPFO. And have him come to THR.

When he turns 18, he'll be able to make his own decision about going to the range, hopefully (assuming Mom doesn't pull a "Not while living under MY roof!" routine.) You've planted the seed of desire in him. Now all you can do is water and nurture that seed, and a book-and the ideas contained within-is a far more powerful weapon than any gun.

And you might want to read those books yourself, so you can discuss and debate those ideas with him.

 

[chaim]

You should mostly leave it alone. Don't pester her or not only will she never say "yes" to him going to the range, but she may start to get generally annoyed with you. If you must try again, wait 4 or 5 months (minimum), bring up safety training (you were going to do some of that, right?) to alleviate a likely concern and when she says "no" again, drop it. At best, at that point you can have your father issue the invite (and maybe make it an invite for both of them).

Oh, and one more thing....

What should I do? I don't mind leaving her and the subject alone, but shooting is my life and my only hobby

Do yourself a favor and do something about that. Shooting is a wonderful hobby, a ton of fun, and one of the few hobbies and pastimes that might actually save your life someday. However, there are many other wonderful things in life as well. Make yourself more interesting, give yourself more things to talk about and more things to do with others- find a few other hobbies to add to shooting and computers.

 

[duckfoot]

Shooting is a wonderful hobby, a ton of fun, and one of the few hobbies and pastimes that might actually save your life someday. However, there are many other wonderful things in life as well. Make yourself more interesting, give yourself more things to talk about and more things to do with others- find a few other hobbies to add to shooting and computers.

Amen!

Teach yourself to play the guitar, chicks dig that!

 

[Powderman]

The only thing I plan to do is let him hold the AK.

No.

Flat, no qualifications, no leeway or room for discussion, no.

There is nothing wrong with legal gun ownership.

There is nothing wrong with shooting.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing a pastime with friends.

There is EVERYTHING wrong with going behind a parent's back--no matter if you agree with them or not.

Let me put it to you this way--if it were my son, and I found that you let him handle a firearm without my express permission, I would make sure that he never set foot in your house again.

I would also do everything in my power to ensure that YOU lost the use of your rifle, at least until you were 18.

It has been said before, and I'll say it again: Under NO circumstances try to circumvent the mother's wishes.

Sorry if it's a bit harsh, but that's the way it is.

 

[mete]

Mom rules. Your life should consist of more than guns and your friendship with him should be based on other things too.

 

[Bog]

I really wish I'd had advice like this when I was Roc_Kor's age.

Roc, I hate to say it but everyone here has the right of it. Moms have a terrible thing about the spirit of her law being even more important than the letter of it - and handing your pal an AK in the garage is going so hard against the spirit of it that the letter won't matter an iota.

Look at it this way - as a 15-year-old ambassador for responsible gun owners of all ages, you've got a prime chance to show her how responsible, mature and intelligent you are.

Also, as much as it may stink (sure did when I was 15, I'm not so far o'er the hill that I can't remember it), her house - her kid - her rules. Believe me I know - it's a major pain.

I say leave it alone. The more you push things, with a certain type of person (and she sure sounds like the type), the more the inputs to their brain squeeze shut, until finally all she has to do is hear the sound of your voice to have a "no!" forming on her lips.

Heck, try paintballing. It's good exercise, good fun, great for the hand-eye co-ordination and situational awareness. The ammo's cheap, the markers tend to be cheaper than firearms and, as stated, having more than one hobby's good for you.

Hope it all works out, chap.

 

[foghornl]

Not much else you can do right now. "Mom" is in charge. Her home, her sandbox, her rules.

Now, if someone could arrange a meeting for "Mom" with THR members Pax & Tamara......

 

[FNFiveSeven]

LOL!

Man, I think you came to the wrong forum for advice on this situation! Listen, most people on here are going to try to convince you to drop it, and do as you're told. Setting you up to be a good, law abiding, order-taking American when you grow up. Unfortunately, most of the people on this board, whether they admit it or not, know that they are going to hand their guns over to mom, big brother, uncle sam, or whomever, when they're told to... and they think that you should, too. I say you're old enough to know when it's time to take a stand. The very fact that you even thought about asking this question shows that you are ready to make your own decisions. You need to figure this one out for yourself, keeping in mind that while mom may be right, blind allegiance to authority is never a good idea. In the end, you must do what *you* feel is right.

 

[2nd Amendment]

Heh, well the above is sure to get Flamed...due to its brutal honesty.

Kudos!

 

[RustyHammer]

Time will fix this problem ....

 

[Bog]

In the end, you must do what *you* feel is right.

Well, that much is true.

Not sure about the rest of it... I don't see a lot of people saying "Gosh, well young man, you'll have to do this or the Authorities will Have Something to Say About It", more to do with getting along in a social situation.

Sure, the "Bull in a China Shop" option's always there. I'm just not convinced that this is the right option at this point. Yeah, Roc could drag his friend to the range, and Just Not Tell Mom. It's an option that's available. I'm not convinced that it's the right one.

Then again - not my kids, eh?

 

[jimpeel]

Ask her if she would like to come to the range and bring her son with her. i.e. Ask her if she would like to take her son shooting.

Don't push it. Let her come around of her own volition. If she has her mind made up, regardless of all facts to the contrary, she will never change.

 

[SteveS]

You need to figure this one out for yourself, keeping in mind that while mom may be right, blind allegiance to authority is never a good idea.

Blindly doing what your government asks is not the same thing as respecting your parents. Some level of obedience is the price you pay for your parents raising you, which is not that cheap (financially or emotionally).

In the end, you must do what *you* feel is right.

Great advice, you should always do what ever "feels" good.

 

[MeekandMild]

blackrazor,

As an interesting exercise I'd suggest you archive that post and look at it in 10 years.

 

[flatrock]

Zundfolge, he doesn't like to argue with his mom cause she's usually right.

It's good to hear some teenagers realize that their parents are usually right.

In this case, it's not so much a matter of right and wrong. She has the right to dictate that her son doesn't go shooting with you.

My suggestion is to go shoot paintballs with your friend.

You can't have the fun you prefer, but you can still have lots of fun.

 

[Edmond]

The range I frequent won't let me bring in a guest unless they're at least 18 and even then, I'm responsible for them.

I think the mom may be wondering whose going to be responsible if something (knock on wood) bad happens and someone gets hurt.

 

[thumbody]

Roc_Kor
I am not familiar with the laws in your state but I would advise against letting him handle out in the garage. If his mom is rabidly anti and she found out She could notify the police. In some states your father could be in serious trouble for not keeping the guns unaccessible to children.It is not worth possibly getting your shooting pardner in trouble!
Hang in there, if Dad is willing have him ask to take him and extend the invite to Mom.If you ask do so politely, no pressure or she may try to keep you two apart. Let him read gun related material if he's inclined. Maybe she will peak at these and see most of us aren't bad.
Good Luck

 

[Roc_Kor]

True. I won't let him hold it. I'll just tell him, "Your Mom won't like it," if he asks to see it. I won't do anything against his mother's wishes. I don't want to play paintball, though, it doesn't interest me. I also don't, like one of you said, point the gun at a human and pull the trigger. I don't want that kind of habit.

 

[Gunsnrovers]

truely amazing

Blackrazor, I can only assume that you've spoken with all the righteous indignation and immaturity you could muster.

If you're going to suggest someone take a stand, I first suggest they be in a position to do so on their own two feet. Unless, of course, you're volunteering to raise someone else's children.

Jeff

 

[joab]

In the end, you must do what *you* feel is right.

I would edit that to add "and be man enough to accept the consequenses"
That's the difference between an adult and a catterwalling instigator with more mouth than sense.

The only code that I consistantly try to live by is to ask myself how would I feel if somebody did that to me, not just what's in it for me, and then act accordingly. It has saved me alot of regret in the past

 

[MikeT11]

I agree with Powderman 110%.

With that said, if one of my kids friends (or parents) started questioning my decision regarding my child I would no be a happy camper so I say leave it alone with the firearms.

I know you said no paint ball (can't blame you), but what about BB guns? Nothing fancy, just a cheap $40 daisy or something. After a bit of that she may change her mind; that was the trick I used to get my wife to let me take my kids to the range.