Oh God! LMAO!!! Your ideas are great Evan and Cajun...that's very much my style. Turning the phone off and sleeping in is so me on Saturday. If this guy wasn't "connected" I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Trust me, Evan. I've thought about telling him he's not professional enough about a billion times.
For example, can you guess what kind of ammunition he carries in the guns he keeps for self defense (i.e., SIG)?
Try "Tungsten-Nytrilium Fragmentable Explosive Entry Fang Face Round (FFR) - Jacketed Hollow Points" from Extreme Shock ammunition, and trust me he likes to use the whole name sometimes and other times just "Fang Face" with this blank glazed stare in his eyes that just show his stupidity even more.
Yep, it's those Mall Ninjas from the magazine ad jumping through the pyrotechnic explosions! He likes to point out his rounds over and over and over again. He was really impressed with the attached photo showing what the round does in what appear to be Duct-Seal which has been known for years to give inflated reuslts from a wound ballistics perspective. He's fired maybe 10 rounds of this stuff through his guns to see if it is reliable. Can you say L-O-S-E-R?!?!
Then he shoots nasty reloads and other low quality ammo through his SIG and wonders why it isn't 100% reliable!
I've already given him the information on the local IDPA and other leagues so he can go shoot more on his own. So far it seems to be working, but not fast enough for my taste.