Stage 2:
As far as shining lights at family members, I don't buy that at all. Whether your light is weapon mounted or you are using something like a surefire, if you are properly clearing the house, the weapon will be brought to bear in the direction of the target. You don't check on things that go bump in the night with a holstered pistol, or with it at your side. Thats just the nature of things.
I believe that the point Pax makes is that before the weapon is brought to bear in the direction of the target it is a good idea to make sure that what is in that direction is indeed a target one wants to shoot.
Pax makes the essential distinction between "target identification" and "target acquisition" (although I don't recall whether she uses those terms and I'm too tired to check). Her advice is to use a handheld light or other source of illumination independent of the firearm to determine whether the thing that went bump in the night is something you really do want to shoot instead of, say, a six-year-old who got out of bed to get a drink of water or the family cat returning from a hot date.
Most of us, I think, subscribe to Jeff Cooper's second rule of safety ("Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy") and also his fourth rule ("Be sure of your target"). Pax is simply pointing out its application with respect to a weapon mounted light.
I like having a light mounted on a firearm but I don't always have one available, so I train to use a handheld flashlight for both target identification and acquisition in the dark. I always have
at least one good handheld flashlight on my person, usually two, and sometimes three or more. "Two lights is one," as Clint Smith said about guns, and "one light is none." These are very bright lights but not, in my opinion, death rays or stun guns.
As for clearing a house, especially my own, that's not an activity appropriate to my pay grade. Training for tactical use of flashlights is like having flood insurance in my book. I know I'll never need to call on either but since I was wrong about something else once before I like to hedge my bets.
The preceding two paragraphs reflect my own thinking and aren't necessarily what anyone else might want to do. But, for what it's worth, my favorite hobby is growing old without harming other people, and I've become really good at it.
As for Pax, I don't think that she is saying that a weapon mounted light is a bad idea. I think she's saying that it's not a good idea to use one to identify the target. If I've misrepresented her I hope she'll overcome her innate shyness long enough to correct me.