thefitzvh
Member
"Why do you need a gun?"
*shake head sympathetically...*
*pat him/her on the shoulder*
*walk away smiling*
*shake head sympathetically...*
*pat him/her on the shoulder*
*walk away smiling*
Funniest comebacks for antis?
- Thread starter TheArchDuke
- Start date
- Status
Deanimator
Member
Ninny: "If they banned guns, there'd be no violence!"
Me: "In other words, you think that society should be ruled absolutely by large, strong men with swords and clubs? I think they tried that already. It was called the 'Dark Ages'..."
Axman
Member
THEM; "That's what the police are for."
ME: "Even if I could get an order of protection against every other living person, that doesn't mean they will obey it."
ME: "Even if I could get an order of protection against every other living person, that doesn't mean they will obey it."
Deanimator
Member
Me: "An order of protection is a piece of paper, not a magic spell."
TheArchDuke
Member
HAHAHAHA! For some reason, that's the funniest one. It's just so obvious and yet completely unexpected.
Ben Shepherd
Member
Not funny, but relevent:
My brother had a neighbor that used to give him the old "only the police need guns" crap.
One problem:
Through a mutal acquaintence my brother learned that said neighbor had served time for a felony B&E before, in a neighboring state.
So the next time the guy started in on him as we were loading up for a range day:
My brother stopped, put down the rifle cases he was carrying, turned and faced him, looked him square in the eye and said: "I have them because it's my right and enjoy them. I also NEED them becuase of people like you." Then just stood there for a minute waiting for an answer. No answer came. So we finished loading up and headed out for range day.
Said neighbor NEVER brought up the subject again.
My brother had a neighbor that used to give him the old "only the police need guns" crap.
One problem:
Through a mutal acquaintence my brother learned that said neighbor had served time for a felony B&E before, in a neighboring state.
So the next time the guy started in on him as we were loading up for a range day:
My brother stopped, put down the rifle cases he was carrying, turned and faced him, looked him square in the eye and said: "I have them because it's my right and enjoy them. I also NEED them becuase of people like you." Then just stood there for a minute waiting for an answer. No answer came. So we finished loading up and headed out for range day.
Said neighbor NEVER brought up the subject again.
PennsyPlinker
Member
I use a response I got from one of my own daughters. Years ago when they were little, one of them observed me stashing my 9mm before we went out the door. She said to her sister,
"Why is Daddy bringing a gun along?"
Her sister replied in a very matter of fact and know-it-all voice,
"In case he needs to shoot someone."
So whenever someone asks me why I need a gun, I respond, "In case I need to shoot someone."
Edit in: I see Chonny already posted this one. Does mine still count? It really did happen.
"Why is Daddy bringing a gun along?"
Her sister replied in a very matter of fact and know-it-all voice,
"In case he needs to shoot someone."
So whenever someone asks me why I need a gun, I respond, "In case I need to shoot someone."
Edit in: I see Chonny already posted this one. Does mine still count? It really did happen.
OpFlash
Member
Gatofeo
Member
There is a piece in the Oxford Book of Military Anecdotes that may help us.
Gen. Patton, before World War II, was dressing for a formal event. Somehow or other a woman at the event knew he had a gun.
She asked him, rather shaken, why he carried a gun.
"Madame, I believe in being prepared."
It's succinct, but it works.
I too believe in being prepared. That's why my basic pocket load is a Swiss Army Knife, mini-flashlight, comb, cigarette lighter (I don't smoke) and Space Pen (its small, writes anywhere, and I'm always assured of having a writing implement with me).
Even when I wear shorts, that's my basic load.
When I wear a belt, I also carry a Leatherman and a second, stronger flashlight.
When I go into town, all of the above accompanies, along with a .38 snubnose or my Walther PPK in .380 caliber.
I'm prepared.
Aside from Patton's response I've used:
"Why do you carry a gun?"
"Because I spent four years of my life defending this country as a Security Policeman in the Air Force. I carried a .38 revolver nearly every day. I never once used it in anger, but after I got out I had to use a revolver TWICE to back down armed opponents. One had a tire iron and threatened to kill me. The other had a knife. I believe that as a citizen I have a right and duty to augment this nation's safety, even at a microcosm level."
"No one should own a gun."
Interestingly, the cities with the strictest gun control have the greatest gun crime problems. Why? Because regular citizens are unarmed and the criminals know it. Look at New York, Washington D.C., and San Francisco. BIG gun laws and big problems. If you want to reduce crime, allow citizens an effective means to defend themselves. The police can't always be there. In 15 seconds or less, a criminal can take your life with a knife, gun or beating.
OR
America was created by guns. More importantly, it was created when its residents cried, "enough is enough!" and picked up their guns and waged war against tyranny.
Remember, "no taxation without representation?" Does that ring a Liberty bell? You're a poor excuse for an American if you believe your countrymen should be disarmed. You're a lousy American ecause you've forgotten your history, your heritage.
The founding fathers recognized that yet again could come the day when America's citizens have to resort to force to regain control of their lives and destiny, that the government might become tyrannical.
Now, before you label me a right-wing fomenter of revolution, let me say that I don't believe that time has come. But it could come. Historically, it may be in the cards. Over time, even the most benevolent societies change and their leaders become power-hungry and tyrannical if their citizens don't watch their leaders carefully. Look at Europe over the thousands of years.
My father, an American G.I. who spoke German, talked to Germans on the streets after their towns were liberated from the Nazis. Many Germans expressed the opinion, "Well, Hitler may not have been a nice guy, but all of us were fed and we had jobs."
Dad disgustedly replied, "Yes, you were fed with food stolen from other countries. And your jobs were in support of a war machine that brought death and misery to untold millions.
Through the ages, people have overlooked tyranny as long as it kept their bellies full and their hands busy.
You should thank our forefathers that they refused to be so placated. They armed themselves and rose against tyranny. And don't forget, that as a result of the success of the American Revolution, France rose against its oppressive royalty. Countries around the world, inspired by the American Revolution, rose against their masters too.
The ultimate freedom is a citizen allowed to carry a gun concealed. It means his government trusts him to do right. It means his government has given him the means to overthrow it, if necessary.
"Guns cause crime."
You're saying that an inanimate object causes a certain crime. Then alcohol causes drunk driving. Spoons cause obesity. That attitude removes all human responsibility from the act. Is that what you truly want, no one is responsible for their own actions?
"Why are you into guns?"
I like history. Guns are historic. But more than that, I can think of no other hobby that opens such a wide variety of scientific, historical and social topics. Do golfers discuss the metallurgy in their clubs? No. Do bowlers discuss the historical significance of the pins? No. Guns, reloading and shooting have introduced me to metallurgy, history, physics, chemistry, research, mathematics, social studies, law, politics, military history, wildlife biology, mechanics and a host of other sciences.
Shooting, reloading and casting my own bullets from molten lead are fascinating hobbies.
"Guns should be banned."
Oh, I see. I was trustworthy enough to carry a revolver for four years in defense of this country. And since 1979 I've been trustworthy enough to have a concealed weapon permit. But now, with the flick of a pen and a new law, you would deem me totally untrustworthy. There are numerous words for that attitude: arrogant, dictatorial and naive.
I have never been arrested, never committed a crime beyond a speeding citation, but with the flick of a pen you would brand me a criminal, and a dangerous and violent criminal at that.
Just who do you think you are, that you can ruin people's lives with such callousness?
"I don't believe in guns."
Well, they exist. So does rape, murder, beatings and burglary. Apparently, you don't believe in people having the right to defend themselves, if the police or military cannot do so at the moment. What kind of humanitarian are you?
"People should learn martial arts, not carry guns."
Look, I'm 51 years old. I haven't been in a fight since my early 20s. I have gout. I'm fat. Becoming proficiient with martial arts takes years. I've carried a gun most of my adult life; I'm proficient in THAT martial art. You've seen too many Kung Fu movies to realize that the real world isn't a fair fight. Not all of us can be Kung Fu masters. The old saying is true, "God created man. Samuel Colt made them equal."
"No one should carry a gun, aside from police or the military."
The streets are not ruled by the Marcus of Queensbury. In some places, people will slit your throat for the change you have in your pocket. Today especially, you don't know what kind of whacko you're dealing with.
If someone threatens me with karate moves, I'm pulling my gun. I'd rather face a misdemeanor assault charge than take a beating that could kill or cripple me. You want a fair fight? Go watch 1950s TV Westerns.
And what of others? Shouldn't I protect them as well? Years ago, I swore an oath to protect this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic. That oath didn't expire when I got my discharge paper. It's an oath. It's for the life of the swearer. I have a duty to defend the constitution, and to defend its citizens, if I can. If that includes defending a woman from a rapist or mugger, by shooting the aggressor, so be it.
I carry a gun to defend myself and others. I know how to use it. I've been trained in its use. How can you possibly argue against a safer street?
"If you have a gun in the house, you're 43 times more likely to have a fatal shooting."
Okay, you know where that figure came from? From a study conducted in the 1970s in King County, Washington. Seattle, Washington. One of the largest bastions of anti-gun liberalism in the United States. The study was conducted by an organization of anti-gun folks. Now, do you seriously think they were objective in their findings? Also, do you believe that ONE county should serve as the model for the entire nation? The study is not only flawed, it's fabricated. The facts don't support it. The only figures I truly trust are those from the Department of Justice, because the police, sheriff and federal agencies that submit their figures review their submission for accuracy, before the study is published.
"Even if one child is saved, banning guns would be worth it."
Okay, let's take that further. Far more children die on our nation's highways than from guns. So, let's reduce the nationwide highway and freeway speed limit to 35 mph. Boy, wouldn't that save lives?
And as for what constitutes a "child," consider this: Until a few years ago, Handgun Control Inc. skewed its figures by defining a child up to the age of 20! I'm sure that the 19-year-old Marine was astounded to learn he was still a child.
Many of those "child" shootings include shootings by and toward gang members. A 15-year-old gang member, shot by police in defense, finds his way into the HCI statistics. Or a 15-year-old gang member killed by rival members is listed by HCI. Kinda changes the whole outlook of those "statistics" doesn't it?
Yep, I have a number of responses. And as you can see, most are rather long-winded. But I've found that if you can calmly offer the above, and not let the anti-gunner cut you off (a favorite trick of theirs, by the way) you'll appear far more rational than they or any audience might have been led to believe.
There are two beliefs I follow:
Fight gun control --- Use and store guns responsibly.
Fight crime --- carry a gun.
The ugly ol' desert cat has spoken!
Gen. Patton, before World War II, was dressing for a formal event. Somehow or other a woman at the event knew he had a gun.
She asked him, rather shaken, why he carried a gun.
"Madame, I believe in being prepared."
It's succinct, but it works.
I too believe in being prepared. That's why my basic pocket load is a Swiss Army Knife, mini-flashlight, comb, cigarette lighter (I don't smoke) and Space Pen (its small, writes anywhere, and I'm always assured of having a writing implement with me).
Even when I wear shorts, that's my basic load.
When I wear a belt, I also carry a Leatherman and a second, stronger flashlight.
When I go into town, all of the above accompanies, along with a .38 snubnose or my Walther PPK in .380 caliber.
I'm prepared.
Aside from Patton's response I've used:
"Why do you carry a gun?"
"Because I spent four years of my life defending this country as a Security Policeman in the Air Force. I carried a .38 revolver nearly every day. I never once used it in anger, but after I got out I had to use a revolver TWICE to back down armed opponents. One had a tire iron and threatened to kill me. The other had a knife. I believe that as a citizen I have a right and duty to augment this nation's safety, even at a microcosm level."
"No one should own a gun."
Interestingly, the cities with the strictest gun control have the greatest gun crime problems. Why? Because regular citizens are unarmed and the criminals know it. Look at New York, Washington D.C., and San Francisco. BIG gun laws and big problems. If you want to reduce crime, allow citizens an effective means to defend themselves. The police can't always be there. In 15 seconds or less, a criminal can take your life with a knife, gun or beating.
OR
America was created by guns. More importantly, it was created when its residents cried, "enough is enough!" and picked up their guns and waged war against tyranny.
Remember, "no taxation without representation?" Does that ring a Liberty bell? You're a poor excuse for an American if you believe your countrymen should be disarmed. You're a lousy American ecause you've forgotten your history, your heritage.
The founding fathers recognized that yet again could come the day when America's citizens have to resort to force to regain control of their lives and destiny, that the government might become tyrannical.
Now, before you label me a right-wing fomenter of revolution, let me say that I don't believe that time has come. But it could come. Historically, it may be in the cards. Over time, even the most benevolent societies change and their leaders become power-hungry and tyrannical if their citizens don't watch their leaders carefully. Look at Europe over the thousands of years.
My father, an American G.I. who spoke German, talked to Germans on the streets after their towns were liberated from the Nazis. Many Germans expressed the opinion, "Well, Hitler may not have been a nice guy, but all of us were fed and we had jobs."
Dad disgustedly replied, "Yes, you were fed with food stolen from other countries. And your jobs were in support of a war machine that brought death and misery to untold millions.
Through the ages, people have overlooked tyranny as long as it kept their bellies full and their hands busy.
You should thank our forefathers that they refused to be so placated. They armed themselves and rose against tyranny. And don't forget, that as a result of the success of the American Revolution, France rose against its oppressive royalty. Countries around the world, inspired by the American Revolution, rose against their masters too.
The ultimate freedom is a citizen allowed to carry a gun concealed. It means his government trusts him to do right. It means his government has given him the means to overthrow it, if necessary.
"Guns cause crime."
You're saying that an inanimate object causes a certain crime. Then alcohol causes drunk driving. Spoons cause obesity. That attitude removes all human responsibility from the act. Is that what you truly want, no one is responsible for their own actions?
"Why are you into guns?"
I like history. Guns are historic. But more than that, I can think of no other hobby that opens such a wide variety of scientific, historical and social topics. Do golfers discuss the metallurgy in their clubs? No. Do bowlers discuss the historical significance of the pins? No. Guns, reloading and shooting have introduced me to metallurgy, history, physics, chemistry, research, mathematics, social studies, law, politics, military history, wildlife biology, mechanics and a host of other sciences.
Shooting, reloading and casting my own bullets from molten lead are fascinating hobbies.
"Guns should be banned."
Oh, I see. I was trustworthy enough to carry a revolver for four years in defense of this country. And since 1979 I've been trustworthy enough to have a concealed weapon permit. But now, with the flick of a pen and a new law, you would deem me totally untrustworthy. There are numerous words for that attitude: arrogant, dictatorial and naive.
I have never been arrested, never committed a crime beyond a speeding citation, but with the flick of a pen you would brand me a criminal, and a dangerous and violent criminal at that.
Just who do you think you are, that you can ruin people's lives with such callousness?
"I don't believe in guns."
Well, they exist. So does rape, murder, beatings and burglary. Apparently, you don't believe in people having the right to defend themselves, if the police or military cannot do so at the moment. What kind of humanitarian are you?
"People should learn martial arts, not carry guns."
Look, I'm 51 years old. I haven't been in a fight since my early 20s. I have gout. I'm fat. Becoming proficiient with martial arts takes years. I've carried a gun most of my adult life; I'm proficient in THAT martial art. You've seen too many Kung Fu movies to realize that the real world isn't a fair fight. Not all of us can be Kung Fu masters. The old saying is true, "God created man. Samuel Colt made them equal."
"No one should carry a gun, aside from police or the military."
The streets are not ruled by the Marcus of Queensbury. In some places, people will slit your throat for the change you have in your pocket. Today especially, you don't know what kind of whacko you're dealing with.
If someone threatens me with karate moves, I'm pulling my gun. I'd rather face a misdemeanor assault charge than take a beating that could kill or cripple me. You want a fair fight? Go watch 1950s TV Westerns.
And what of others? Shouldn't I protect them as well? Years ago, I swore an oath to protect this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic. That oath didn't expire when I got my discharge paper. It's an oath. It's for the life of the swearer. I have a duty to defend the constitution, and to defend its citizens, if I can. If that includes defending a woman from a rapist or mugger, by shooting the aggressor, so be it.
I carry a gun to defend myself and others. I know how to use it. I've been trained in its use. How can you possibly argue against a safer street?
"If you have a gun in the house, you're 43 times more likely to have a fatal shooting."
Okay, you know where that figure came from? From a study conducted in the 1970s in King County, Washington. Seattle, Washington. One of the largest bastions of anti-gun liberalism in the United States. The study was conducted by an organization of anti-gun folks. Now, do you seriously think they were objective in their findings? Also, do you believe that ONE county should serve as the model for the entire nation? The study is not only flawed, it's fabricated. The facts don't support it. The only figures I truly trust are those from the Department of Justice, because the police, sheriff and federal agencies that submit their figures review their submission for accuracy, before the study is published.
"Even if one child is saved, banning guns would be worth it."
Okay, let's take that further. Far more children die on our nation's highways than from guns. So, let's reduce the nationwide highway and freeway speed limit to 35 mph. Boy, wouldn't that save lives?
And as for what constitutes a "child," consider this: Until a few years ago, Handgun Control Inc. skewed its figures by defining a child up to the age of 20! I'm sure that the 19-year-old Marine was astounded to learn he was still a child.
Many of those "child" shootings include shootings by and toward gang members. A 15-year-old gang member, shot by police in defense, finds his way into the HCI statistics. Or a 15-year-old gang member killed by rival members is listed by HCI. Kinda changes the whole outlook of those "statistics" doesn't it?
Yep, I have a number of responses. And as you can see, most are rather long-winded. But I've found that if you can calmly offer the above, and not let the anti-gunner cut you off (a favorite trick of theirs, by the way) you'll appear far more rational than they or any audience might have been led to believe.
There are two beliefs I follow:
Fight gun control --- Use and store guns responsibly.
Fight crime --- carry a gun.
The ugly ol' desert cat has spoken!
Ben Shepherd
Member
Gatofeo
Perfect. I like it.
Perfect. I like it.
Zach S
Member
"Why do you have guns?"
"Protection."
"What about the police? Why not call them?"
"Poor resonse times."
"You know this from personal experiance?"
"Yes. Try to imagine being nine years old and watching your mother get the **** beaten out of her by a 250lb man while on the phone with 911."
"Protection."
"What about the police? Why not call them?"
"Poor resonse times."
"You know this from personal experiance?"
"Yes. Try to imagine being nine years old and watching your mother get the **** beaten out of her by a 250lb man while on the phone with 911."
I've used that one. Well, it had a 4" barrel...
frenchwrench
Member
Anti: "I don't believe in guns."
Myself: " Would you like to see one?"
Myself: " Would you like to see one?"
Prince Yamato
Member
I myself tried the marshal-arts route. After 2 months of Shaolin Kung-Fu I realized:
1) I'm simply not fit enough for martial arts
2) When I'm 40, I'll be lucky if I can get my foot higher than knee level, let alone face level
3) The money I spent on lessons could have gone towards a gun
I quit martial arts and bought a gun. I'll be able to shoot that thing till I'm 100. Plus, lets see a martial artist block a bullet
1) I'm simply not fit enough for martial arts
2) When I'm 40, I'll be lucky if I can get my foot higher than knee level, let alone face level
3) The money I spent on lessons could have gone towards a gun
I quit martial arts and bought a gun. I'll be able to shoot that thing till I'm 100. Plus, lets see a martial artist block a bullet
ctdonath
Member
RESPONSE#1: "Call 911 and Domino's. See which gets here first."
RESPONSE#2: "What police? I don't see any police. If I punch your lights out right now, ain't no police gonna help you."
I'm increasingly inclined to the "in case I have to shoot someone" answer. That's really the core truth. Pontifications about rights and duty and ... just are an attempt to avoid the simple core reason: I carry a gun because, in this dangerous world, I may have to kill a criminal to save an innocent's life (probably my own).
TallPine
Member
I can't recall that I've ever been asked the "why...?" question.
I have been asked (or commented):
Q: "Is that a gun?"
A: "Yes" (end of conversation on that subject)
Q: "What do you shoot?"
A: "Oh, porcupines and rattlesnakes - stuff like that."
Q: "What kind of gun are you carrying?" (or something to that effect)
A: ".357 magnum"
Q: "I see you're prepared for snakes..."
A: "Yeah - you've got sharp eyes." (I had been reaching over the fender of a truck to do something under the hood)
I can't think of any others right now. Most people don't even notice even if you open carry.
I have been asked (or commented):
Q: "Is that a gun?"
A: "Yes" (end of conversation on that subject)
Q: "What do you shoot?"
A: "Oh, porcupines and rattlesnakes - stuff like that."
Q: "What kind of gun are you carrying?" (or something to that effect)
A: ".357 magnum"
Q: "I see you're prepared for snakes..."
A: "Yeah - you've got sharp eyes." (I had been reaching over the fender of a truck to do something under the hood)
I can't think of any others right now. Most people don't even notice even if you open carry.
Axman
Member
The kind that goes around shooting people when I'm not looking!
massad ayoob
Member
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Messages
- 374
One that I've had good luck with over the years:
Opening: "You guys just have those guns as phallic symbols."
Response: "If that was true, none of us EVER would have bought one with a two-inch barrel."
Opening: "You guys just have those guns as phallic symbols."
Response: "If that was true, none of us EVER would have bought one with a two-inch barrel."
Warren
Member
Them: People should not have guns.
Me: It is quite clear that you should not.
I have not had a chance to use this one and I am very interested to see where the dialogue would go.
The idea is to put the other fellow's back up and get him to defend against my veiled attack on his mental competence. This should lead to them claiming to be better than others or admitting that people, in the main, are quite capable of handling firearms.
Or it could lead to me being cursed and spat at and having the other party stalk away.
Me: It is quite clear that you should not.
I have not had a chance to use this one and I am very interested to see where the dialogue would go.
The idea is to put the other fellow's back up and get him to defend against my veiled attack on his mental competence. This should lead to them claiming to be better than others or admitting that people, in the main, are quite capable of handling firearms.
Or it could lead to me being cursed and spat at and having the other party stalk away.
"they can take it away and use it to kill you"
"if i take it out it means they've already got the means to kill me"
or
"so you figure if you DON't carry a weapon, the opposite will occur and that lack of weapon will get passed on to him?"
or
"then i'll just take it back because it's SOOO EASY to do"
or when they say guns kill people, you say
"and targets shaped like people"
or when they say "if we make guns illegal criminals won't be able to get them"
you say "you're right, making them illegal will make them go away, just like drugs, murder,rape, robbery..."
"if i take it out it means they've already got the means to kill me"
or
"so you figure if you DON't carry a weapon, the opposite will occur and that lack of weapon will get passed on to him?"
or
"then i'll just take it back because it's SOOO EASY to do"
or when they say guns kill people, you say
"and targets shaped like people"
or when they say "if we make guns illegal criminals won't be able to get them"
you say "you're right, making them illegal will make them go away, just like drugs, murder,rape, robbery..."
Deanimator
Member
My godsister was stabbed to death by her boyfriend in heavenly, "gun-free" Chicago.
When somebody says that "There wouldn't be any murders without guns", I just say, "So then my godsister who was stabbed to death isn't really dead? How come she never returns phonecalls...?"
Apple a Day
Member
Friend: Why do you own guns?
Me: The same reason I vote, to get rid of scumbags. What are you going to do when voting no longer works?
This particular exchange took place about two months after the final recount of the 2000 presidential elections and the friend is a Democrat. He's already made one comment that night about Bush "stealing the election". The look on his face was priceless. Unfortunately his wife has more sway over him than common sense and she's rabidly anti.
Me: The same reason I vote, to get rid of scumbags. What are you going to do when voting no longer works?
This particular exchange took place about two months after the final recount of the 2000 presidential elections and the friend is a Democrat. He's already made one comment that night about Bush "stealing the election". The look on his face was priceless. Unfortunately his wife has more sway over him than common sense and she's rabidly anti.
joab
Member
Why do you have a gun ?
Why don't you?
In my world only two types of people don't use guns, convicted predators and committed prey
Why don't you?
In my world only two types of people don't use guns, convicted predators and committed prey
MP Sniper
Member
lol
Somebody asking me about home self-defence.
Them: "you wouldnt kill anybody would you, i mean whats the value of human life to you"
Me: "about 24 cents with reloads"
Somebody asking me about home self-defence.
Them: "you wouldnt kill anybody would you, i mean whats the value of human life to you"
Me: "about 24 cents with reloads"
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