Funniest comebacks for antis?

[aguyindallas]

From the movie Money Talks:

Sheen: Guns kill people
Chris Tucker: No they dont, stupid m-----f-----s with guns kill people.

Classic and good to see in Hollywodd.....

 

[gr8cook]

I think the compensation line go more like this . . .

If I was compensating I wouldn't be carrying a gun with a nine inch barrel.

Them: Guns are bad.
Me: Really?

Them: I don't like guns.
Me: . . . and?

Them: Why do you own/carry a gun?
Me: Do you really want to know?

Them: Guns hurt people.
Me: All by themselves?

Them: Guns CAN hurt people.
Me: Isn't that the point?

Them: Why do you want to hurt people?
Me: I don't.
Them: Then why do you carry a gun?
Me: I don't like being hurt either.

Them: You shouldn't need to carry a gun
Me: You're right, but I do.

Cook

 

[Il Duca]

Them: Why do you carry a pistol?
ME: To fight my way back to the rifle in the trunk.

We were riding through a particularly questionable part of town one day, it was unavoidable, with my sister (fence sitter) and her husband when she caught a glimpse of the Sig on my hip when I sat down in the car.

Sis: What the heck do you need that thing for?!
Me: Because if something bad should happen I love you and am trained sufficiently to protect you until the Police arrive.
Sis: I think that's a little paranoid.
Me, with a big smile: Fine, you're on your own then.
My brother-in-law: You love me enough to protect me though right?
Me: Sure

She withdrew her argument after seeing a few rather menacing ghetto-ites milling around on the corner when we were at a stoplight.

 

[cmidkiff]

When asked why I carry, I'm going with 'might need to shoot somebody'.

I was in Long Beach last week, and had an interesting discussion with a guy that was from Denmark. He was totally against people owning guns. When pushed on the subject, he couldn't come up with a single reason why, but he knew he was against it.

We talked some about the economic situation in Denmark as well. He talked up their free health care and free education through college (they will even pay your living costs while attending college!). The cost? Tax rate ranges from 48% to 82%.

I think I'll pay for my own health care and education, thanks.

 

[mustanger98]

When asked why I carry, I'm going with 'might need to shoot somebody'.

No anti's involved in this one, but I recall several years ago I was home alone and in a lot worse shape than now... so I had a .45 and double mag pouch on my belt. Daddy stopped by with a co-worker... asked "you haven't shot anybody today, have you?". My response was "no... day ain't over yet."

There seems to be a lot of meth-related violent crime around here, so nobody I know really thinks anything of somebody being armed. Now, those out-of-towners on the other hand...

 

[ripcurlksm]

..

I dont have anything to add but I love these previously posted:

This person was also having a fit because her son had a small child and owned a shotgun and she was saying that the child would get hurt with the gun by accident. I took up for the son (my friend) by stating that if she took the time to do the research she would find that she put the child in 2-3 times more danger by getting a swimming pool (they lived next door and the child spends more time at her house than her son's). She replied with, "Well I'll put a lock on the gate." I noted how the shotgun already had a lock and that its lock couldn't be climbed over.

Looking down with a sad but straight face:

"I'm compensating"

Him: "Did you hear about that shooting in Canada."
Me: "Oh, yeah. Just goes to show you you can't believe everything you see on TV. That's obviously a made-up story."
Him: "What the *&^% are you talking about?"
He: "Well, they said on the news that the guy shot some people on a college campus in Canada, so it's obviously false, he couldn't have brought a gun onto a campus, it's illegal to do that in Canada."
Him: "So what?"
Me: (Acting agitated) "Look, you can't bring guns onto college campuses in Canada, it's ILLEGAL! There is no way this story actually happened!"
Him: (Actually agitated) "That is so stupid! Do you really think that some guy who is planning on shooting a bunch of people is going to CARE that it's illegal to bring the gun on campus? He's about to shoot people!"
Me: "Exactly!"

"You don't need to be armed here. How often do you think people get killed out here, anyway?"

"Once."

 

[Flopsy]

Some guy: And what do you need THREE guns for??

Me: In case 2 break.



Some guy: Why do you carry a gun?

Me: (dead serious) Zombies.

Guy: No, seriously.

Me: (just gives him incredulous look) Zombies!

 

[nycmedic]

Many people here believe that paramedics should not carry ANYTHING to defend themselves with, rather, we should wait patiently for the police to arrive while we are being attacked. (Happens more than you might think. ) A coworker asked me why I carry OC spray while at work. You should have seen his face when I casually answered that I carry it because they get upset when I bring my 45 to work! That sure ended that conversation.

 

[Remmi]

Taking a line from a bit of fiction I'm writing:

"Gun Control is knowing when to it shoot it once or twice." - Remington Sawyer.

 

[kidcoltoutlaw]

Hitler

Was on your side he to was for gun control . Guns in the hands of governments have killed millions,

Thanks,Keith

 

[gr8cook]

Low level thread jack

It just occurred to me that one of the reasons that some people are anti gun and others are disturbed by somebody carrying even if they are not particularly anti-gun is that, according to their world view, people don't really need guns. These people are living in a dream world where they feel safe because things can't happen. They live in a civilised society were violence is barbaric and unnecessary. Where preparations for the unexpected (car failure in the boonies to natural disasters) have been taken care of by the powers that be. The mere fact that someone would actually go to the bother and expense of carrying is a strong argument that they may be wrong.

It indicates that perhaps murder, mugging, rape and such could happen to them. The person is not actually safe. His or her house is not really secure. The person is not protected by anything. The bad guys simply haven't gotten around to to him or her yet.

Normally when someone encounters information that indicates he or she may be wrong it is not a big deal because the person can evaluate that information and consider how it compares with the body of thought that led him or her to his or her present conclusion. However, the above world view is not built on thought. It was created by ignoring facts that inspired fears. It was built on feelings about the way things SHOULD be not the way things are. It is a position of dogma and not reason. The world is a dangerous place and the person knows that they are not prepared and that he or she does not know what being prepared would look like.

I could keep going but this is not the thread for extended discussions of the anti-gun psyche. Not that carrying a gun makes someone morally superior. I was just powerfully struck by how it simply reveals foundational errors in the way the anti-gunners look at the world and how this explains the huge and irrational responses.

Look at how so many of the responses to us are based on FEAR of what COULD happen.

OK back on target.

Them: Why do you have a gun?
Me: Because I'm not a pansy ass liberal.
or
Me: I actually carry two. One is for fighting and one is for fun . . . would you like to see them?
or
me:[starts twitching with facial ticks] N-N-N-N-N-NO REASON!! STOP HOUNDING ME!!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WEAK!!! GO AWAY!!!
WHY DO YOU TAKE DELIGHT IN TORTUREING ME!?!?! HERE COME THE PIXIES!!!! Momma? Momma? I'm here momma!

Cook

 

[B yond]

"you're right, making them illegal will make them go away, just like drugs, murder,rape, robbery..."

lol

Them: "Guns should be illegal because they kill people."
Us: "So do cars, alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, and tylenol. I guess they should be illegal too."

Mom: "I just don't like guns."
Me: "It's fine if you don't like guns, nobody is saying you have to have one (although from what I hear it works for the Swiss). However, just because you don't like something, does not mean you should vote for people who want to take it away from the rest of us."

 

[Remmi]

I've another that's been amusing these past few days.

Anti: 'Guns should be illegal.'

Me: "So should government sanctioned stupidity; but we see how well THAT worked at Mid-Term elections."

 

[ctdonath]

When asked why I carry, I'm going with 'might need to shoot somebody'.

Probably the best answer. Not cute, not evasive, gets right to the brually honest point.

Other answers are fun (them: "I think guns should be illegal." me: "I think _you_ should be illegal. Let's ban both!") or informative (long tirades on the subject), but that one answer is sound-bite simple - consuming about as much brain power as you'll likely get from them, so be efficient.

 

[xjrat]

anti: Why would you want to carry a gun?
me: I would rather drive an M1 Abrams Tank but they get crappy gas milage, and I don't want to hurt the environment, plus gas prices in Ca. and trying to get it registered is tough.

anti: you have no RESPECT for human life!
me: actually I do respect life, INNOCENT life, Thats why I own guns!

 

[nelson133]

"Why do you carry a gun?"
"I don't want to, but the voices in my head told me I had to."

 

[czhen]

I had this small talk with an antis once. He stated that kids shouldn't be exposed to guns ever. My point was.
Do you send him to school.
Do you teach him how to reasoning.
Do you teach him how to swim on water.
After his of course.
Therefore, Why not how to defend himself or his belongings.



CZhen,
FL

 

[Caimlas]

Other answers are fun (them: "I think guns should be illegal." me: "I think _you_ should be illegal. Let's ban both!") or informative (long tirades on the subject), but that one answer is sound-bite simple - consuming about as much brain power as you'll likely get from them, so be efficient.

I've seen a couple leftists take this down the road of insanity. Basically the topic was gun control, and I was getting frustrated with their waffling, flip-flopping, contradiction, and raised-voice 'fact assertion'. So, in frustration, I raised my hands and said, "Well, maybe you should be illegal!" Somehow this turned into a meme in the group, and the spontaneous response to almost "anything" is, "You're an "anything"!" Everything from, "house" to "taco", as in, "I think I'd like a taco," the response being, "You're a taco!"

:banghead:

What can I say, these guys are young... (early 20s)

 

[Remmi]

What can I say, these guys are young... (early 20s)

I take offense to this. Offense and horror, horror of the fact that I could very well be grealy more informed then my bretheren.

 

[The_Antibubba]

Opening: "You guys just have those guns as phallic symbols."

Then why are snubbies so popular?

Usually, when they toss out the "Phallic" argument, I respond with:

Grenades and bombs are Egg-shaped. Why is that? Are they Ovic?

Which usually confuses the heck out of them.

 

[gunsmith]

as an armed san francisco security guard

I was constantly bombarded with stupid questions.

how are allowed to carry a gun in san francisco?

I joined the NRA! (they believe me and say thats really unfair!)

is that gun loaded? you can't shoot people with an unloaded gun ..or..all guns are loaded.

when are you allowed to shoot someone?
when the little voices tell me to.

 

[Warren]

I hear the "little voices" as well. Lately though I've had to 'Press 1' for English, which is really irritating.

 

[Warren]

If the following has been said already, I apologize. I might have read it somewhere. At the very least I am sure the meme has been around a long time; if not the specific language.

Anti: I think guns should be banned, no one has a right to own a gun!

Gunny: Not only is it a right, it is also a moral and ethical obligation.

Anti:

Gunny: Absolutely. Everyone has an obligation to protect their own lives as well as those that are weak or helpless. By refusing to bear arms you make it easier for those who would do evil.


Not an actual "funny" response. But might cause a hi-larious reaction.

 

[44AMP]

Direct blunt answers

Often give them pause. Telling the anti's that the "voices" tell you to is emotionally satisfying, but just plays to their stereotypes. Our version of humor is often literally misunderstood. Too bad for them.

I liked some of the answers, even the flippant ones. For myself I just always figured that it is better to have one and not need it than need it and not have it.

When you call 911 what happens? After a while, a man with a gun shows up! Isn't it more efficient to skip the time lag?

 

[XLMiguel]

One could point out the inherent illogic and hypocracy of not liking guns/not wanting guns around, but the first thing they do when there's trouble is call for someone with a gun to come 'protect' them. I'd also throw in the blatant cowardice of expecting someone else to do their fighting for them.