Funniest comebacks for antis?

[cambeul41]

My most recent answer

was that I liked guns, I was no threat to them, and therefore my carrying was no concern of theirs.

The silence was followed by some reasonably intelligent questions.

 

[Stevie-Ray]

I've use these at one time or another.

Q. Why do you carry a gun?
A. Sigh.....I suppose one reason is to help protect people like you that don't.
A. Because the law says I can.
A. I like the way it feels in my pocket.
A. I like the way it feels on my hip.
A. I like the way it feels against my chest.
A. I like the way it feels down my pants.
A. I like the way it feels when I'm approached by serious looking individuals.
A. Because I can't run away from trouble with my wife in a wheelchair. (This one, at least, ALWAYS gets respect on some level)

Q. Why do you (feel the need to) have so MANY guns?
A. I don't feel the NEED, I fill the want.
A. Because I can only carry 5 or 6 and I'll get bored with those.
A. Because criminals keep up with technology, therefore so must I.
A. When the war starts, I'll be ready.
A. I am gunowner. Hear me roar.
A. I provide a service to the gunmakers, making up for those deadbeats that refuse to buy guns.

 

[CAPTAIN MIKE]

Anti Come-Backs

Anti: "Why do you carry a gun? Do you want to shoot somebody?"

High-Roader: "Well, I don't want to have a flat tire - but "just in case", I carry a spare tire. I don't want to have a fire either, but "just in case" we have a fire extinguisher. I don't to see an innocent person get killed or seriously injured by a terrorist or a criminal, but "just in case" I carry a gun."

At the end of the day, if we hope to change anyone's mind, our come-back don't need to be insults. Instead, they need to be logical statements that would be hard for anyone with common sense to refute.

 

[Prof. A. Wickwire]

Anti: Why do you have guns?

Me: Several reasons: It's my right, just like going to religious services or gathering peacefully with my friends; target shooting is a great way to build self-discipline and mental-focus; and last but not least, because there are people out there who would rape and murder my beloved if I wasn’t there to stop them.

Sincerely,

Prof. A. Wickwire

 

[Flopsy]

It just occurred to me that one of the reasons that some people are anti gun and others are disturbed by somebody carrying even if they are not particularly anti-gun is that, according to their world view, people don't really need guns. These people are living in a dream world where they feel safe because things can't happen. They live in a civilised society were violence is barbaric and unnecessary.

You are, indeed, correct. My intern, a coddled young lady who recently graduated from a private college and a ritzy prep school before that, thought I was a lunatic when I told her I pack. In fact, she didn't even believe me at first because she thought that carrying a gun was such a crazy and foreign idea.

My only response....how wonderful it must be to have lived a life so free of violence!


Me on the other hand, I grew up in the outskirts of Philly.

 

[High Planes Drifter]

When I do get the "anti-inquisition" , I do try to keep things unatatched and not taken personally, and I do try to respond with an inteligent response as most others in this thread do. I try to explain my point without letting temper, or personal values/views come into play. After all, its not really winning an arguement Im trying to do as much as potentially converting, or at the very least making an anti into a middle-of-the-roader. However, if I've exhausted all of my avenues, I then resort to the old "Argh, go hug a tree"!

 

[Stevie-Ray]

At the end of the day, if we hope to change anyone's mind, our come-back don't need to be insults. Instead, they need to be logical statements that would be hard for anyone with common sense to refute.

That does little good for those without common sense, e.g. Rosie O'Donnell, et al, where this statement: I don't want to see an innocent person get killed or seriously injured by a terrorist or a criminal, but "just in case" I carry a gun." should read "cellphone" instead of "gun."

More and more of those everyday.

 

[Caimlas]

Stevie-Ray - Yep! Those without logic would be unable to counter the illogical claim (just as they're unable to counter logical ones), but instead of resulting in just another puff of emotion, it would result in an escelation of emotion (started by you).

Personally, I see no surer way to invoke violence, and for liberals to pick up arms (their own, most likely, after it's all said and done). And I only say that half-jokingly.

 

[Carl N. Brown]

There are no funny comebacks.

On the block down from me, at a boarding house, a home
invader stabbed a woman to death in a robbery two years
ago; he was recently caught, after beating two victims to
death with a baseball bat.

Two acquaintances of my brother, a couple I met only once
at a fourth of July picnic, were killed by a carjacker who
took their car and eleven dollars. They were the kind of people
who probably gave the thieg their money and carkeys without
resisting.

I carry. It's not a joke to me.

 

[Taurus 66]

I like a simpler approach.

Ninny: "Why do you carry a gun?"
Me: "Because I can."

Ninny: "I don't think people should have guns?"
Me: "The first half of your statement is true."

Ninny: "You sleep with your gun?? Are you that paranoid??"
Me: "Not now ever since I started sleeping with it."

Ninny: "Guns kill people."
Me: "Guns can also save the good as an instrument in killing the bad."

Ninny: "Just leave your gun here in the house. We're just going to the store."
Me: "You know I can't do that anymore than you could win a beauty contest."

 

[Bruce H]

Why do you own and carry a gun?

To keep assinine idiots like you from ever being able to tell me what to do.

 

[kidcoltoutlaw]

You can find

People at the Rape center and the Grave yard that wished they had been packing to,

Thanks,Keith

 

[expvideo]

A cop asked me: Why do you feel the need to carry a gun?
I replied: Because I have an unhealthy fascination with my constitutional rights, and I live in a dangerous part of town. Why do you?
(Normally I am very polite to police officers, but I find it very very very VERY offensive when they suggest that only they should be armed)

Why do you carry a gun?

-Because it's saved my life and the lives of others several times.
-Other than a false sense of security, it's the only thing that keeps us on the top of the food chain.
-Because I read the news.
-Because I'm a christian (Luke 22:36).
-Because police can't be everywhere.
-Because I've been shot and I don't want that to happen again.
-To protect you.
-Because a lot of other people carry them, and some of those people are scary.
-Because the US is one of the most dangerous countries to live in.

You know, handgun violence kills #### people every year!
-That's a pretty good reason to carry a gun.
-How many of them fought back?

 

[Axman]

Ninny: "I don't think people should have guns?"
Me: "The first half of your statement is true."

Actually, both halves of that statement are independently true.

 

[ChiefThunderstick]

I'm a firm believer in gun control. Me too, that's why I practice so hard, to put one right between the eyes.
I believe in gun control. Yes I do too, that's why I don't let mine get away from me, by keeping it in it's holster.
People shouldn't be allowed to have guns. People shouldn't be allowed to not have guns. Huh? You don't tell me what to do, and I won't tell you what to do either. But guns are bad. No guns are good. Mine work for no pay, at civic affairs all the time.

 

[sfhogman]

Because the Voices told me to! What a silly question!

 

[Taurus 66]

Actually, both halves of that statement are independently true.

Insightful and observant are you! I didn't realize that sentence structuring existed naturally until I took a second look. You are correct.

 

[kengrubb]

Ninny: "I don't think people should have guns?"
Me: "I agree. You don't think."

Ninny: "You sleep with your gun?? Are you that paranoid??"
Me: "What makes you think I sleep?"

Ninny: "Guns kill people."
Me: "Some people need killin'."

Ninny: "Just leave your gun here in the house. We're just going to the store."
Me: "Sure, just sign over your estate to me. Not like you're gonna die or anything."

 

[1911 guy]

My conversations.

When dealing with the odd anti that passes through my circle of acquaintances, I give the standard flippant remarks. When discussing this with people close to me, it usually goes like this:

"Why do you carry a gun?"
"Because you don't and if someone tries to hurt you, I'm the only thing stopping them."
My wife now has her own Sig P232.

"You couldn't actually shoot someone, could you?"
"Depends. Are they trying to hurt someone I love?"
My Aunt, unfortunately, is a hopeless blissninny. Kindhearted, but unrealistic.

"If you carry a gun, you're just looking for trouble."
"I'm not, but are you saying you'd rather the hood that holds me up be the only one with a gun? I thought you liked my company."
The pastors wife was a little taken aback by that.

"You can't just shoot people!"
"Sure I can. The question isn't "can I", but "should I". In some situations, I should."
"You've become a not so nice person" (or something to that effect)
"So you'd rather have a nice, dead son?"
I'd just gotten back from the M.E. (again) and Mom was inquiring about my time there.

 

[greener]

The snappy response sometimes fails.

Way back when I was doing a post-doc, the paper reported a woman who had been raped, beaten and passed out for a short time. When she awoke, the perp was in the nursery. She found her handgun, went to the nursery and saw the perp shaking the baby. She killed him with one shot.

The opinion of the learned scholars (this is 1975) was that people shouldn't have guns and the woman had no "right" to kill the perp. When asked what I thought, my reply was "One shot? She deserves a marksmanship medal." That was the last time I went into the faculty lounge and I got strange looks until I left the school.

 

[Dr. Dickie]

Think of the safest place in the United States.
A one room school house in rural America.
Even safer, a one room school house in Amish America.
'nuff said.
There isn't a lot funny about personal protection.

 

[Ex-MA Hole]

My Father, who has an LTC, but is against carrying (figure that one out), told me once that he didn't think that he could shoot someone. I told him that he shouldn't have a gun then. He asked me if I could shoot someone.

My response was simple-

If I come into a room and a person is trying to kidnap/ rape/ murder/ do harm to my 2 year old daughter, who would I rather protect.

The Bad Guy, or my Daughter? To me it was a no brainer.

Silence from my Father. I guess I won.

 

[kengrubb]

"Why do you carry a gun?"
"Because I cannot carry a tune."

"You couldn't actually shoot someone, could you?"
"Yes, but can I and may I are two entirely different questions."

"If you carry a gun, you're just looking for trouble."
"I NEVER go looking for it. It comes to me."

"You can't just shoot people!"
"Go stand over there against the wall."

"You've become a not so nice person"
"If I cannot get respect, I'll accept fear."

 

[kengrubb]

The snappy response sometimes fails.

I disagree. Most antis who confront with oneliners have a tolerance of perhaps a line or two of response. They have preconceived notions, they are asking knee-jerk questions, and they won't sit still for an intellectual answer. A smart aleck comeback may have the effect of knocking them off their game, outta their comfort, and make they more inclined to listen to more of your response.

Perhaps they'll retort, "You're not taking me seriously." One can then respond, "OK, I'll take you seriously. However, do you really want to discuss this, or are you just interesting in getting in your own oneliner and then retreating from the discussion? I'm happy to discuss the issue with you, but not if YOU aren't going to take it seriously and allow me to respond."

If you want substantive concise comebacks, go here.

 

[Deanimator]

Perhaps they'll retort, "You're not taking me seriously."

Two useful responses:

1.
Ninny: "You're making a mockery of this!"
Me: "No, you've already done that. I'm just pointing it out."

2.
William F. Buckley, Jr.: "I won't insult your intelligence by pretending to take you seriously."


BTW, whenever somebody says, "Without guns there wouldn't be murders!" I always reply, "That's strange. My godsister was stabbed to death by the father of her child. Are you saying that she's not really dead? Is she coming back? How come she never returns phonecalls???" (An unfortunately true story from gun and crime-free Apartheid Chicago).