Funniest comebacks for antis?

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I've always liked Jeff Cooper's response:

"Guns are dangerous'

"Of course they are, they'd be useless if they weren't"
 
I was arguing with an anti friend of my now exgirlfriend. She said "You have a higher chance of being killed if you have a gun." My reponse was "Not if I kill him first."

And something I read on another forum: "Personal responsibility includes being responsible."
 
Anti: Do you even know how to use a gun safely?

Me: Of course, the pointy end goes toward the other guy.

****cue expolsive scream****



This person was also having a fit because her son had a small child and owned a shotgun and she was saying that the child would get hurt with the gun by accident. I took up for the son (my friend) by stating that if she took the time to do the research she would find that she put the child in 2-3 times more danger by getting a swimming pool (they lived next door and the child spends more time at her house than her son's). She replied with, "Well I'll put a lock on the gate." I noted how the shotgun already had a lock and that its lock couldn't be climbed over.
 
"Do you think you're a tough guy beacuse you have a gun"
"No. Do you because you don't?"

This statement means nothing, but I have used it 5-6 times, and for some reason, people just shrug and walk away. Whatever works, I guess.

I was also asked once: "Why do YOU have a gun?" "Target practice". Dead silence. They had no argument for it.

Also, when people use the "if we can save one child's life" line, I'm partial to "I agree, let's ban unsafe things to save children's lives, that way people will have no responsibility. Let's get rid of swimming pools, bathtubs, and cars first. Then stop, as soon as they open their mouths, add plastic bags, power cords, knives, ladders, stairs and screwdrivers. That will usually end the debate.


(Slightly off topic, but still funny, I thought: one time while explaining to my wife how a semi-auto works, then how a revolver works, she was concerned about the revolver not having a safety. She asked "Doesn't that make it unsafe?"

"Depends on which end of the gun you are standing.")
 
Two friends of mine. One carries and the other doesn't. The non-carrier is somewhat anti and is sometimes a pain about it. So he decides to blow his friends CCW cover at one point.

NC (loudly in the middle of a store) "Hey buddy, so you packin' HEAT today"?

CCW (also loudly in the middle of the store) "Yup, you still wearing them frilly girls panties"?

Definitely not THR but it sure shut the NC up fast. :evil:
 
If someone finds out that I shoot/own guns, the response is either "really? Would you mind if I go with you sometime?", "I went shooting once. . .", or "why would you want a gun?"

My response to the third one is usually "to shoot things." People are usually surprised by the obviousness of the response. Then, if they seem like they can think logically, I'll get into actually talking about shooting, the stress relief, etc.
 
I don't know who said this, but it was somebody on here or TFL.

A couple of gun guys were standing in line at Taco Bell, talking guns.

The cashier jumps in with a sneer "It's people like you that put guns on our streets."

Gun guy "And it's people like you that put the onions on my burrito. Now hop to it."


I'm so going to steal that. :)
 
Actually had this happen...

at my table at the Tanner Show in Colorado....

Guy... I dont believe in Glocks... as he handled a Glock 19

Me.... That they don't exist?
 
The cashier jumps in with a sneer "It's people like you that put guns on our streets."

Gun guy "And it's people like you that put the onions on my burrito. Now hop to it."
Click to expand...

Make sure he didn't make it special.
 
See, I've never met anybody who actually has a problem with my owning guns. They sometimes ask specifically what I use them for i.e. "Do you do clay shooting or rifle shooting or what?" but no one has ever said "What do you need them for?" or anything.

Fence sitters and antis generally say "Well I know you can be trusted, and I know I could be trusted if I owned them, but if everyone could have them..."
 
Honestly at this point. I think I can say I have never had to have an argument with any anti, I live in the PRK, *** is wrong with me most people are like

random friend " Sweet, so how many guns you got?
me:15
them: what do you need 15 guns for?
my response: quicker reload times
 
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Anti: Guns on the street kill people!

Me: That's why I always keep mine with me. I wouldn't want it to get loose and do THAT!

or

Me: What?
Them: Repeating statement.
Me: What?

Them: You heard me!
Me: But it makes no elephants in the circus.

Them: What?

Me: Makes as much sense as what you said.
 
Here is one I used on a guy I work with back when they had that shooting in the college in Canada. I posted it here but it bears repeating. I will try to remember it correctly. . .

Him: "Did you hear about that shooting in Canada."
Me: "Oh, yeah. Just goes to show you you can't believe everything you see on TV. That's obviously a made-up story."
Him: "What the *&^% are you talking about?"
He: "Well, they said on the news that the guy shot some people on a college campus in Canada, so it's obviously false, he couldn't have brought a gun onto a campus, it's illegal to do that in Canada."
Him: "So what?"
Me: (Acting agitated) "Look, you can't bring guns onto college campuses in Canada, it's ILLEGAL! There is no way this story actually happened!"
Him: (Actually agitated) "That is so stupid! Do you really think that some guy who is planning on shooting a bunch of people is going to CARE that it's illegal to bring the gun on campus? He's about to shoot people!"
Me: "Exactly!" :cool:
 
In a gun/pawn shop. I was looking at SAR-1. The guy at the counter said it came with a 40 round magazine.

Woman next to me: "Why would anyone need 40 bullets in a clip"
Guy at the counter: "You never know when you need to shoot 40 people."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at such a dark joke. She turned and looked at me and walked away.
 
Some other funny responses to the ones you guys posted.



Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. ( why do I need a 30 round magazine)

Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. (the other answer to why i need a 30 round magazine)
 
Him: "Did you hear about that shooting in Canada."
Me: "Oh, yeah. Just goes to show you you can't believe everything you see on TV. That's obviously a made-up story."
Him: "What the *&^% are you talking about?"
He: "Well, they said on the news that the guy shot some people on a college campus in Canada, so it's obviously false, he couldn't have brought a gun onto a campus, it's illegal to do that in Canada."
Him: "So what?"
Me: (Acting agitated) "Look, you can't bring guns onto college campuses in Canada, it's ILLEGAL! There is no way this story actually happened!"
Him: (Actually agitated) "That is so stupid! Do you really think that some guy who is planning on shooting a bunch of people is going to CARE that it's illegal to bring the gun on campus? He's about to shoot people!"
Me: "Exactly!"
Click to expand...

@CNYCacher

THAT is good
 
anti: I believe in total gun control
me: yeah, it worked so well in natzi Germany, Soviet Russia, and comunist Cuba.
 
"why do you own guns?"

"because I smoke and drive a car, so I'm already pretty well statistically ****ed. Why not enjoy life?"

Many of the ones already stated have been used, as well. :)

This thread is great material.
 
I'm not all THAT big, but in the circles I run in (academics, grad/med students, and nerds) I am. 5'11 200+ lbs, *mostly* muscle (lol).

When one of these guys asks me why I need a gun my typical reply is something like:

"If I decided to take you down, which one of us would need the gun?" if they were a guy.

"Would I need a gun to rape you or would you need a gun to stop me?" if they were a girl.

I'll follow up with "You see, I don't think that some people should be able to control others simply by virtue of the fact that they're bigger than others, even though I'd do a damn sight better than 95% of the population if that were the case. The reason they call a gun the equalizer is because if you have a gun I can't force you to do anything..."

"I don't need the gun. People like you do."

Generally pretty effective because I'm *angry* looking and rather intimidating due to the terrorist face.
 
I'll follow up with "You see, I don't think that some people should be able to control others simply by virtue of the fact that they're bigger than others, even though I'd do a damn sight better than 95% of the population if that were the case. The reason they call a gun the equalizer is because if you have a gun I can't force you to do anything..."
Click to expand...
Periodically, some ninny in usenet will say, "If there were no guns, there'd be no violence!"

I often reply, "So what you're saying is that you want a world ruled by large, strong men armed with swords and clubs. I think we've already tried that. It was called the 'Dark Ages'."
 
My wife after 3 years of marriage:
" I hate Guns "

Me standing in a basement full of guns:
"Then why on Gods Earth, out of all the people you have met throughout your life did you decide to marry me?"




THEM: "Guns Kill people"
ME: "No,... bad diet and lack of exercise, kill people and you seemed to embraced them wholeheartedly??"
 
I never used this one but it might be worth a try in the right situation:

Anti: I'd never keep a gun in my home!
Me: Well, when the ***** hits the fan, I know where I'm going to stock up on supplies.
 
im sure its already been said. but

Them: guns kill people!
Us: guns dont kill people. gaping holes in vital organs and massive blood loss kill peple.
 
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