Helping out a good friend.

Status
Not open for further replies.
HSO & Bubbles advice is rock solid.

Your wife is your life's companion. Talk with her and listen to her. Hopefully she will give you the same courtesy. Work together to figure out a plan you both can live with.

Mnrivrat - you, sir, are a true High Road gentleman. Very well played.

Q
 
Last edited:
I doubt that your wife will leave you for helping a friend out and once she realizes how much this means to you but most important to your friends family she will think very little of herself. Once in a while we must do a selfless act much against our wishes. This will set precedence with your spouse though she may get angry she is going to have to answer the following questions. Why would you not help out a family that are worse off than you?
How can you eat while there little girl may go hungry? Why did you get upset at your husband for having a good, kind, and gentle heart? Why would you get angry at a man in which times are bad he still has the courage to help out those less fortunate?
 
I re-read this -

For someone that "literally" saved your life, (or heck, even saved you from serious injury) heck you should just buy the guy the shotgun! Or if you can't afford it, just give him yours to use until you can buy him one.

mnrat - +1 to you!
 
hso said:
Never hide anything from your spouse.

Do explain to her that she would not have you if not for him saving your life. Tell her the details because she doesn't have a reference point for this.

Explain that this is as important to you as helping family in need and go over the family budget together to see if there's actually any room to help. If there isn't then don't beat yourself up over it. If you don't have the money you simply can not help him. OTOH, if you have a little "me money" in the budget and there's a smidge left over in the family budget, go ahead. Remember that your obligation to him is primarily yours and not your family's.

What you've not explained is what other reasons your wife might be opposed to you doing this. Does she think your friend doesn't manage his resources as well as you do and if he were a little more responsible he'd be able to handle this himself? Considering the expense associated with hunting is it really the most cost effective way to put food on the table or is it more of a way to balance the fact that he enjoys hunting? Your wife probably understands fully what it costs to feed a family on a tight budget and may not see the food issue from the same perspective as you and your friend. Be sure that there's a real need here and not a rationalization for the new gun.
Click to expand...

Great post.

Listen to her reason "why not" and explain it to her better.


I firmly believe in karma..... treat others as you would like to be treated.

Pay it forward if possible. Some how.... some way.
 
If he can't muster up the cash in time for hunting season, then pay the ramaining balance for him. He can pay you back the rest in the next few months(if you can't get over the hurdle of your wife allowing you to help pay for it).

This is returning a favor.
 
(if you can't get over the hurdle of your wife allowing you to help pay for it).
Click to expand...

BS.
Listen guys, I run things by my wife and never make financial decisions without talking to her about it. But let me ask you a question. How many times has your wife saved your life?
That's serious stuff amigo. You can't put a value on that. In this case, I'm helping him out and the little lady is just gonna have to deal with it. If she can't see the logic behind helping someone who has saved your life on more than one occasion, I don't think I'd care what she thought.
There wouldn't be any asking for permission. It would go like this. "Honey, my buddy from the military is in financial trouble, and I'm going to be helping him out. Thanks for understanding."
 
MNRIVRAT offered to repair the dead Mossy. Kudos, sir. I've got $31.76 just sitting in my evil PayPal account. I'd be willing send that to RIVRAT to help offset his costs, or to the OP the help cover the inbound shipping or whatever. Hell, use it to buy him some ammo, or to apply to his layaway payments if the Mossy is beyond help.

It ain't much, but the man sounds like a good guy. Can probably scare up an extree few bucks as well. If the OP will PM me, get my evil PayPal on.


-Matt
 
Give him one of yours, pay the other one off for him, or sell some of your stuff that you don't use much anymore to find funds for it. Or just help him out with groceries. If he's that good of a friend, you'll help him out. Period. And the wife should understand your reasons for it.

Life IS too short. As long as your own family doesn't go hungry (ramen and rice are cheap and filling) I'd living in a box before I'd let my best friend's family go hungry.
 
Killchain

I like your style man.

I know you mentioned duck hunting. I can't add any more good advice than you've already heard. But..

If he's a hunter, I have a winchester .30-.30 I can give him. :what: It's in good shape and I even have some good ammo for it.

I've had friends like that and never missed the opportunity to pay the debt I owed them. They're all gone now but I acknowledge what they've done for me.

As a matter of fact. A member here helped me out once when I was going through a tough time. Times are better now and this would be a good way to "pay it on" as he asked me to.

PM me or send me an e-mail. I would be honored to help your friend. One old hunter to another.
 
i would explain what he did for you and that you would not be here if it weren't for him. if she still says no, i would not give him money, but if you gave him one of your firearms or sold one i believe that would be ok. since it would not be taking any money away from the family. to the op, tinman 357, & mnrivrrat that is verry high road of you, way to be an example of generosity. i too have a best friend that i've known since high school, we have been through thick & thin together. i would not hesitate to help him any way i could, which i have & he has as well. these type of friends dont come along often. please let us know how all this turns out & best of luck to all of you. thanks to both of you for your service to our great country.
 
I've put my rump on the line for my good friends, and would glady do so again and again if I had to.

I'd pony up to get him that shot gun if I were in your shoes. Let the missus know exactly why you're doing it....always be upfront with your better half, as she's the one who determines where you sleep tonight....in a nice warm bed, or in the doghouse. :)
 
Help him however you can, either by loaning him a gun, fixing his old one, or paying part/all of his new one. But, don't hide it. If my wife told me I couldn't help a friend we'd have HUGE marital problem. I don't mean lose your house over it, but do what you can, and have your wife deal with it.
 
killchain - if necessary, you could remind your wife that, without your friend, she wouldn't have you.
Then go ahead and help him as best you can!
 
Wow, some of you guys sure are anti-wife. If she said no to helping the friend, I can only imagine it was because perhaps the situation was not explained correctly. A true wife is going to love your friends because she loves you, and you love them. Perhaps she thinks her own family is somehow going to go hungry by helping the friend? That is the only instance where I can see her saying no.

I say help the friend, give him or loan him a gun or sell something to help him make payments. Be upfront and honest with your spouse about why it is important to you that you are doing so.

MNRivrat, Matt, Tinman, I'd love to shake your hand. Truly great gentlemen.
 
There has been a lot of good advice given here. One thing that I feel real strong about, whatever you do do not hide it from your wife. Your wife is your soulmate and deserves to be told the truth! She may not have saved your life in a physical sense, but she may have saved it in other ways. I know that I would not be half the man that I am now had I not married my wife. I owe her more than I can ever say or show. She deserves the truth.

On the other hand, I would help out my good friend. As stated many times before, good friends are hard to come by. There are a few friends that I would do this for, but do it I would as long as it would not lead to divorce. Then again, there would have to be other significant issues with the marriage if this caused a divorce.

If you can loan a weapon that may be a better way to go as money is not being exchanged. If not, then pony up some bucks in a way that does not leave your household in dire straits.

As a side note, I will gladly chip in $20.00 to help fix up the broken shotgun or pay for the ffl transfer. I will gladly pack lunch for a week to help out a vet in need. PM me to work out the details.
 
+1 MNRIVRAT While running my three dogs Friday morning, with my motorcycle, I met a man and women. The man looked like someone that I knew, so I named him. The new neighbor said that,s my Uncle. While Running the dogs Saturday, I noticed Cops and EMS at the house, the man that I had met 24 hours earlier had died. Life is too short not to help a friend. You should never loan a gun to anyone, but you could give him one. If you could spare it. Prior to moving here I gave away nine guns. One was a 44Mag redhawk w/scope another was a M1 Carbine in cosmolin 1943 Underwood Typewriter Co.
 
On the other hand, I would help out my good friend. As stated many times before, good friends are hard to come by. There are a few friends that I would do this for, but do it I would as long as it would not lead to divorce.
Click to expand...


If helping out a friend in need that has saved your life leads to a divorce, trust me, it was heading there anyway.

That being said, I agree that you should not hide it from the wife. You get in the habit of doing that, and you'll have serious problems eventually.
 
KZinOKC said:
He saved your life....give him your gun to use.
Click to expand...
This is exactly what I did.

What had happened is that his barrel had gotten bent, and there was some damage to the receiver. I guess it went out with his younger brother and got itself under a truck tire. Haha.

What we worked out is this: it turns out that the barrel on my field model is the same size as his. So, he took out the cash he had put on the shotgun on layaway, and I sent him the barrel. He got the receiver repaired with the money, and he's got a new barrel. He is completely ready for duck season. Everyone is happy. :)

To the guys who have offered to help, I want to say thank you. I am dead serious, it really feels good knowing that noble souls will step up to the plate and help. That means a lot.

Thank you all for your advice and your offers for help. We got this one. :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

P
  • Locked
Lost friend
Replies
12
Views
795
hso
hso
E
  • Locked
Urgent help needed to find gun attorney
2 3 4 5 6
Replies
137
Views
5K
pax
P
G
  • Locked
Friends want advice, help me out.
2
Replies
29
Views
980
230RN
230RN
D
  • Locked
My CCW Helped To Make A New Friend Today !!!
Replies
11
Views
1K
kernal_panic
K
W
  • Locked
A plan comes together, or, I am devious
Replies
5
Views
504
Wopasaurus
W
Back
Top