Pilot said:
My wife has taken two handgun courses with me. She is a good shot, but does not trust herself to be able to shoot someone in a self defense situation.
See, I think this is a very common 'first emotion' when you don't put a lot of thought into it. By and large, most people are not violent, and value human life. Someone who immediately and quickly jumps up and declares that yes they would kill another human being to defend themselves without giving it any thought, they tend to make me nervous.
I think saying 'I don't think i would be able to kill anyone' or 'i'd like to just scare them off' are both dangerous concepts in and of themselves, but are also providing an open door to the truth.
When talking to people who say this I usually ask 'Would you be able to use lethal force if someone was murdering your children' To which I have NEVER had someone answer in the negative. (Or for those without children of their own, about to rape a 10 year old girl, or having watched a monster stab 2 children to death, would you stand there and watch him stab a few more?) Find a situation where they would interviene beyond 'being a good witness' or 'calling 911' (wouldn't you at least try something, clawing him and biting him, so your child could run away) Once you talk about being aware of your surroundings, avoiding trouble, throwing your wallet/purse behind the criminal and attempting to get away, etc etc, and get down to the situation where said person truely is faced with grave physical harm, and that their loved ones and children may need saving, or even beyond that, the devistation that the death of thier mother would have on the children, I've never had a person who doesn't get the idea and say yes, as a last resort, I'd do what I must to save me and my loved ones.
I sometimes think that when just casually addressed, a lot of people have this mental picture of a woman walking to her car, hears something behind her, turns and just starts shooting wildly. Which is of course not true. The armed person ready to use lethal force would have avoided that parking spot, or would have been looking around and been alert for potential predators, have a flashlight, cell phone ready to call 911 etc etc AND have a firearm for last resort.