Hopefully, this one is time relevant, (I'm sitting here in MN hoping to get POUNDED with snow in the next 24 hours!!!!.... c'mon, even if you HATE snow, you gotta admit that it is seldom that us snow lovers get our goal here in MN anymore
Anyways.... this is a long one....
NEVER NEVER NEVER do commercial snow plowing without a gun.... you can't imagine how irate and irrationally violent a person can get until you plow their car in after a big snowstorm....
Seriously, it doesn't matter how many warnings you post, how much advance notice you give, or how vehemently you enforce towing, 3 out of 35 apartment dwelling bozos will leave their car in the lot on plow days (yes, of course I did a controlled study that was published in all of the major psychology journals).... sometimes it leaves you no option but to leave heaps of snow around a car....
At first I felt bad about it, and I would trim out every vehicle left in the lots, but that takes FOREVER when you have 20 lots to plow.... and it only enforced the behavior... it got so that I would just plow the lot however it was easiest, and if that left your car behind a snowbank, well, that's your problem....
I could never be completely cold hearted about it, and if someone came up and asked while I was still there, I would always yank their car out for them.... well, almost always, cause I guess it depends on how you ask.... cause here we go....
At one point I was just about finishing up the nights plowing... it was early morning in the ghetto apartments I was finishing up.... after plowing in a car that was already buried in snow AND parked in the fire lane because I was too tired to want to deal with a tow truck I was cleaning up the dead end lane behind it...
A young lady comes out the door and looks astonished at her car (which wasn't going anywhere without 10 minutes of shoveling fist), then looks at me plowing, then her car.... lol.... never fails.... being the gentleman I am, I pull up along side her and explain that, not only is she parked in the lot, having come out a door with a large neon green cardboard sign posted that plowing would be taking place and no cars should be in the lot... she is, in fact, right in the fire lane.... she explains to me, as though doing me a favor, that she parked there because she wasn't allowed to park in the lot... (duh? how dumb can I be?)
She proceedes to tell me that she needs to be somewhere sometime soon (not me of course!).... yeah.... and then bats her eyes.... |sucker here|... "FINE"... I tell her I will pull her out (it will let me clean up the lot better anyways... *sigh*)... she says thanks and of course "hold on a second", and she darts back into the building.... oh for crying out loud!!!...
After waiting a few minutes (not a couple of seconds), I decide to finish the lot... if she's not out by the time I'm done, I'm gone.... well, I go about finishing right near her car when, as I am backing up past her car I see a man, poorly dressed to be out in the snow this early in the morning in my ghetto... he's sporting a tank top and some of those Zubas sweat pants, and he's built like a tank, as I get near him it is clear that he is NOT happy.... now that I pull up on him I can see the former young lady standing next to him shouting, and he is yelling at me about something.... and he's big, he's mad and he's black, but I only mention this because he had HUGE branding scars down both of his arms, and if you have ever seen that on a black person it really stands out in a "I'm a serious bada$$' sort of way.... I was a little nervous and I even checked for where my gun was before I stopped...
I turn down the stereo and rolled down the window and he is screaming profanities at me while his "bitch", as he called her, is screaming at him to leave it alone, in not so nice of words....
After he cusses me out up one side and down the other about how HE's gonna call the cops and this and that, I give him the same speech I gave her, and then I tell him how she was nice about asking, and how I was going to pull her car out anyways.... well, he goes off on me about how it is his car, not hers.... at which point I say "glad to hear it, cause now I have no reason to pull it out" and I start plowing again... I wasn't about to get out and deal with this guy in the snow anyways... he just seemed "off"... this was clearly not the reaction he was looking for and he was storming around in the snow screaming loudly about "you don't know who you're F*'in with!!!" and all about "I should just put a cap in your a$$" and whatnot... literally threatening my life in an outrage..... gun gets tucked under my leg where it should have been before....
I get a bit away from the 'incident' and I yell over to him that he can chill out or I'll have the cops and a tow truck over here in 10 minutes (... lol... neither one could be there that quick, but eh, you gotta bluff here and there)... at this stupid comment of mine he charges my truck screaming about how he's gonna this and that and kill me and whatnot.... I had, again stupidly, backed up to a bank of garages, and there was no retreat (best to cut off all retreat before yelling at the irate large gangbanger, right?).... I droped my plow with a resounding metal on pavement thud and he realizes he's a bit out gunned right now... lol...
He retreats back through the apartment building door labeled so clearly about plowing going on... *sigh*.... maybe it's over.... I was young and stupid then, I feel old and stupid now
Yeah, right.....
Of course his woman comes right over saying "oh I'm sorry about him" and whatever else along with "can you please just pull my car out?"... to which my reply is, no matter how much she bats her eyes, "NO WAY"... your boyfriend is over there threatening to kill me and you want me to get out, climb under your car, hook up a strap, and pull your car out!!!!????!!!... it aint happening... she's all on it with the "oh, he'll cool down".... yeah... right...
I dialed 911 and told them what was going on, and that I would appreciate a squad here.... let's see what that does....
His woman is still standing there pleading with me to pull her car out... I tell her that if she can get the car out I won't call for a tow... but I'm not getting out of my truck... the cops are on their way, but this doesn't have to be anything big...
At this point I see Rambo coming back out the door.... he hasn't cooled down at all... this time he's got his Starters jacket on, and I am no longer so sure he isn't armed... he had been talking about how he was gonna "cap my a$$"... he stands near the car and is yellin' at his woman to get away from my truck... I start thinking... "this is really going down"... when she steps away I better be ready for bullets to fly.... and I reach between my legs and put my hand on the 9mm tucked under my leg... I slip it out and racked the slide... it was always loaded, but something in me said, "you better be sure this time"... a cartridge popped out and dropped on the floor of the truck with what seemed like 100db... that makes it 16 left....
I'm not sure if she heard the slide, or if she thought he was going to do something really stupid, or if her instinct just kicked in, but she sprinted away from my truck towards him, and I lowered my head so I could just see what was going on over the dash...
She darted over to him and grabbed on to him wrapping her arms around him and screaming at him to leave it alone... he was pig headed about this and yelling at me about how he was gonna 'settle this' right now... he was wrestling with her and I put the truck in drive turned away as hard as I could and started to drive... the plow now scraping the ground as I went...
Once I was a little bit down the lot I popped my head back up driving with one hand, holding my 9mm with the other... I looked back and they were fighting in the middle of the parking lot...
Not sure if it is chivalry or stupidity, but I stopped the truck, got out with my gun as hidden as possible, took cover behind the truck and yelled at him that the cops were on the way, and he better just leave it....
To everyone's surprise, just then a squad car pulled into the lot behind my truck.... seeing this, Ghetto Rambo darted for the apartment building door... this, of course caught the straight away attention of the cops and they zoomed down the lot past me and up to where he had been and his lady now stood alone...
I take this opportunity to put my 9mm back in the truck and catch a breath..... heart racing.... mind reeling....
She goes back into the building and comes back out with Ghetto Rambo. The police go over to talk to him while another squad pulls up behind me and starts asking me questions.... I tell it the best I can... I'm amped and feeling woozy at this point.... of course people start coming out and milling about the scene... some saw what was going on and told the police...
Of course Rambo tells them that I am some racist bastard who only plows in black peoples car... I was yelling racial slurs and being a generally unruly 'plow guy', probably out to start a racial war with my plow... I of course explain that I had no idea who owned the car, nor did I care, the labels on the doors, the fire lane... all that...
At this point the police officer says to me, "I think we can settle this all if you just pull that car out".... to which I laugh.... "NO WAY"... he goes back and tells the other officers that I won't do it.... another officer comes over to me and says "I wouldn't do it either, I know this piece of *****, and he's not worth it"... lol...
By this time there were several squad cars in the lot (lucky for everyone I think that it was a slow day in the hood), and several different officers tried to get me to pull the car out.... I told them that I couldn't do it no matter what, cause that jerk would pretend I wrecked something on his 1981 Chrysler Lebaron.... it's just not happening... at which point one of them asks me if I would let this clown use my shovel to get his car out... I said sure, as long as you stick around to make sure nothing happens and he's done before I'm done with the lot, cause I'm taking my shovel and leaving right then!!!
Agreed!!!
Well, he was way too slow about digging the car out and I just had to get my shovel and go…. Bummer for him…. I called the land owner during the big hubbub with the police there and everything, since he was going to hear about it one way or another… he called the tow truck right after talking with me…. It was pulling in just as I left…. I signed the tow tag and told the tow truck driver to make sure the cops stayed there while he hooked up the car....
This was only one of many incidents that confirmed my motto of "NEVER NEVER NEVER do commercial snow plowing without a gun!!"