mall ninja?

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I took that test and it said im only 34% Mall Ninja.


That things way off. Im much more of a Mall Ninja than that. :cool:
 
29% because I wear long black jackets and carry non firearm weapons
 
I think the question has been answered, but a mall ninja is the zit faced young adult who works the counter at McDonalds but pretends to be an x-special forces "elite" commando. If they own a firearm, it has every accessory known to man attached to it. They are very much gear / hardware oriented as they are trying to maintain a fantasy.
 
33%

That has got to be off. I hate the mall.

Yes I am an Academy, Cheaper Than Dirt, Sportsman's Guide, and Sportsmen's Warehouse nija.
 
I have absolutely no idea how on earth I missed the original meaning of Mall Ninja, but that is really some of the funniest stuff I have EVER read. Tears in my eyes no joke. :D I knew what a mall ninja was, but I had no idea this guy existed, my god I'm sad I missed out on this for so long.
 
I usually keep my thoughts to myself. In this case, I will make exception.

So, my wife and daughter offer to take me out for my birthday...any where I want to eat. There is this awesome cook-at-your-table joint in the mall. But, before we go, I'm checking my MPCL is in the wallet, G17 is loaded, I have 2 spare 17-round mags, and a G19C as my back-up pistol. My wife and daughter snicker and prod me about if I expect trouble from the cook. I give my typical overly-serious don't screw with me look back, and ask if they want Mall Ninja to protect them. I check my money (yes, I had to pay), and we were out the door.

Ten minutes later, we enter the mall parking lot. A couple of idiot drivers nearly t-bone us, and I let them go first. I'm not in a rush. There is one security personnel vehicle in the whole lot. The oval lot measures more than 1.5 miles around. The vehicle was on the far side. So, we are clearly on our own. That's cool. I park the Jeep, and we walk in. I'm happily thinking of my pending, theatrically-prepared meal. <<Dang...hope the cook doesn't drop the knife this time!!>> All of the sudden...Mall Ninja Boy comes strutting like a Bandi Rooster, geared up with his radio. He's still about 100 feet away. I look to my wife and daughter and say, "Here comes the mall insecurity! Are you kidding me?!"

Mall Nijnja boy continues towards us, makes zero eye-contact, and walks on by. MNB is literally all of about 5'6" (at most), 120 pounds (at most), looks to be 15 years old (not joking), is pimple-faced and sporting an attitude as-cocky-as a yappy Chihuahua. MNB has no muscle...no firearm...no baton. I'm thinking to myself, this MNB is going to protect me?!?!?! Please!!!!

After MNB passes us, I look to my wife and daughter and ask, "That your prince-in-shining-armor?!" They look puzzled and ask, "What?", to which I respond, "If I didn't have my CCWs, that's the insecurity guard who would be defending us!" My wife literally shuddered. My daughter snickered.

If the mall intends to hire "security guards", at least hire someone who can put the scare into my 13-year old daughter, and her friends.
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Doc2005, you're hilarious.

It's like when you point a video camera at the TV that it is also displaying on...seeing a TV image of the TV image of the TV image of the TV image...
 
This thread is gold. I'm having a blast watching those eliteteamfighting vids and reading through gecko45's nonsense.
 
gecko45's nonsense.
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Nonsense???

Gecko45 and SPECOPS' posts were sheer comical genius. If they can make people laugh for hours and hours, even years nonstop, thats got to be a talent.

BTW I have several paper copies of the entire mall ninja saga, so they won't be lost at all in case the digital files get AIDS or something. You just can't trust technology these days.

The threads should be published, and eveyone involved in the threads get at least some part of the royalties.
 
They buy tactical gear excessively (and wear it), all types of military looking guns, and then sustain them self with an ongoing fantasy that they are going to repel the Chinese/UN invasion one day. They fantasize about the local 7-11 being robbed, and how they will shoot a perp in the head as he holds the female clerk hostage... and the patrons will then erupt in applause, and he'll get a medal from the local mayor. When asked why wasn't in the military, a mall ninja generally references asthma or a knee injury... or in some cases says he was doing "black ops" for the SEALs and he can't talk about it (despite having suspect physical fitness).

On another level, a mall ninja may have an SKS rifle tricked out with a red dot, bipod, flashlight, front grip, and enough tactical accessories which exceed the cost of the Yugo SKS in the first place.

Mall ninjas usually can spend lavishly on firearms and tactical gear because they don't pay for rent or food, as they still live with their parents.
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AHH 90% of this is true about myself!! arrghhhhh

Seriously, I had a back injury.. for real.. it still hurts sometimes.

And BAH, I am 55% mall ninja!! Red Dawn is a good movie, I don't care what anyone says.
 
I had heard the rumour of the entity known as Gecko 45, but had never read his works. My God, the man is a total genius. I wish I could take credit for such a body of work. He could make a fortune putting all those post into book form.
 
They buy tactical gear excessively (and wear it), all types of military looking guns, and then sustain them self with an ongoing fantasy that they are going to repel the Chinese/UN invasion one day. They fantasize about the local 7-11 being robbed, and how they will shoot a perp in the head as he holds the female clerk hostage... and the patrons will then erupt in applause, and he'll get a medal from the local mayor. When asked why wasn't in the military, a mall ninja generally references asthma or a knee injury... or in some cases says he was doing "black ops" for the SEALs and he can't talk about it (despite having suspect physical fitness).

On another level, a mall ninja may have an SKS rifle tricked out with a red dot, bipod, flashlight, front grip, and enough tactical accessories which exceed the cost of the Yugo SKS in the first place.

Mall ninjas usually can spend lavishly on firearms and tactical gear because they don't pay for rent or food, as they still live with their parents.
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But isn't the above commonly referred to as a "Rambo"?

A mall ninja is supposed to be about a security guard, mall or not mall, or any other rent-a-cop who just have to go all out tacticool, isn't it?
 
What do you call a mall ninja who does not work at a mall? Unemployed

What do you call a mall ninja who does not work at a mall? Undercover

What do you call a mall ninja who does not work at a mall? Waiting for the tacticool time to use a dynamic entry, moving in 3 man elite teams to invade the HR department and undercover of night hand off his topsecret eyes only resume.
But this must wait until after he tops his high Counter strike score and pwns noods

What do you call a mall ninja who does not work at a mall?
 
You scored 30 % Mall Ninja Personae!

The higher the score the more Mall Ninja you are. A perfect 0% is possible, but beware, there were some loaded questions that you may have stumbled over...


I guess liking the 5.56mm was what kilt me. :p

And *** was with the music? I had to settle on Depeche Mode.
 
i love that part, throw your rifle away from your body if it does not work! Great now the bad guy gets a free rifle to clear and shot you in the back with!


And who needs a rifle with a pistol, hope that pistol does not jam or else your down to your knife haha
 
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