Maybe I should stop carrying a gun...

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ShooterMcGavin

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I am frustrated here. Carrying a gun is a hassle and it is really getting me down lately. I ride a motorcycle with lots of friends often. Most don't know I carry. We regularly stop off to eat, and sometimes that happens to be at a bar (I will not drink a drop when I'm riding my bike). Since I will not lock my gun in my bike (not secure) and I cannot enter a bar with a gun by law, I am forced to tell my friends that I am just going to head home. It sucks. My friends don't know why I got weird all of a sudden and it kinda makes me an outsider. That last happened yesterday. As was the case last time I posted something like this, I will probably get lots of comments from you bunch like "why do I want to go to a bar anyways" and "I don't drink, so I don't want to go into a bar". Well, that's great for YOU, but it's not really helpful advice.

Today... I met an old friend at the mall for lunch, and I was carrying as usual. She knows I have a gun and she likes guns (as she has told me). I had a lose T-shirt over my IWB holster. When saying goodbye to her daughter in a child seat, in the back seat of the car, I had to duck under the front seatbelt and my friend saw my gun. When I got out of the car, she remarked "I see you have your piece - that's gay". When I said that I would be happy to talk about it, she said "that's just gay, I don't want to talk about it". You will probably suggest that I just find new friends. Easy, right? Maybe, but it still pisses me off.

I also date girls (sometimes). Yeah, I KNOW that almost everyone here has been married to the perfect woman who carried a gun on the first date out with them. Anyways. I try to find out where girls stand on self-defense and guns, and then maybe I tell them about my "involvement" with carrying. Some of them have drawn the conclusion that I am weird and not the person to be hanging out with, because I carry a gun. Just hearing that I carry a gun, it seems some of them conclude that I am somehow looking for trouble.

Maybe I'm just venting. Maybe there is no good advice that will help my situations. Carrying a gun is making my life a lot harder than if I did not carry.
 
If you really feel that way stop carrying for a while. As far as dating is concerned maybe you should not bring it up in the beginning.
 
I agree with you totally. When you carry, you have to pick and choose where you go to stay legal. Also, dating can be tough because it's sometimes hard to explain right away. I feel for you, but there aren't a whole lot of options. Either you don't carry and go on as usual or you do and let people decide for themselves whether or not they can handle it.
 
My wife is 1000% anti. She hates the fact that I carry, but she understands I won't stop.
I'm starting to make some headway with the idea that it's to protect her and the grandkids.
 
ShooterMcGavin:

Location, location, location. I will only address the dating. Hang out at the gun range and the gun shows. Forget bars! You want a bar fly or a gun fly? Make the decision and go for it. Now, yes, I am married for oh, 23 years. But, married didn't make me blind. My father used to tell me that many things caused blindness, but marriage wasn't one of them. Anyhow, in spite of my marital disability, I see maaaaaaany very attractive women at the ranges and at the gun shows.

Now, after you meet up with some beautiful woman at the range or gun show, you need not worry that she will call you "gay" for carrying. She too will have a good "Constitutional value".

JMHO,

Doc2005

dpesec:

Go rent Disturbia. As my wife watched it yesterday she repeatedly asked me how I would defend us. First of all I was wearing my G19C. I said, now you see why I carry. It worked. She looked at me and said, "Yeah, you're right!"

Psssssyyyych!

Doc2005
 
Carrying is gay??? Dear Lord, I have spent the last 11 years as a homosexual and didn't even notice! Shame on me and my g/f! :uhoh:
 
Be who you are. Regarding guns, just be an upstand citizen about it and most people will either leave or come around. Either way, you know who your real friends are.
 
Yes, it can be a hassle, and when the initial enthusiasm wears off the problems appear. I can't carry at work or have it in my car at work, so I often end up leaving home without it. I quit carrying at church because I found it interfered with the main business.

I agree that you should not discuss carrying on a first date. Instead, take her shooting on about the third date.

If you know you are going out with friends, there is a good chance of going to a bar. Well, just leave it at home that time.

You know, you've lived this long without needing it (probably). Very, very, few people will need to defend themselves with a firearm away from home in this country.

I guess you could also develop a way of just carrying in a locking spot on your bike, but honestly, if you are going to drink you shouldn't have it all. A powerful little flashlight is a pretty good self-defense weapon in many situations.
 
I can sympathize. I quit carrying years ago because it was a hassle and a lot of responsibility. I didn't have any friends that disapproved, and my wife has no problem with it (though the inlaws thought it was odd when I first met them). I simply made the decision that I didn't like the responsibility of being armed all the time. My personal choice, and I can completely respect someone who makes the opposite decision.

I still carry in the car on trips other than around town; that was the primary reason for getting the permit in the first place, and if the time comes where I am in a situation where I feel the need to carry something with me, I can legally do so.

On the other hand, a gun is like a fire extinguisher; when you need it you really need it. The day may come when I wish I had one with me and don't, but I'm not going to worry about it. My life, friends, neighborhood, lifestyle are anything but "high risk".
 
About not carrying in a bar: it looks like your applicable state law is here. Specificall, part 1 section D. All it says is that you can't carry your gun in the "portion of an establishment classified by the state liquor control board as off-limits to persons under twenty-one years of age". Now, I don't know what type of bars you're going to. You obviously can't carry in Washington in a bar that doesn't serve food. But, there are tons of bars around that have a bar section and a dining section. If you can convince your friends to start going to these bars and sitting in the normal dining section, you'll be free to enjoy some coca-cola, the company of your friends, and your gun all at the same time.

Unfortunately, that's only one worry off of your list. As for friends and girls, sometimes there's nothing you can do. I had a knockdown drag out verbal fight with a longtime friend the other day because she irrationally believes having a locked gun in a house is dangerous. (Her boyfriend wants a gun, and she doesn't want him to have one. No one living in their house is under 21.) No amount of arguing could change her mind.
 
I have to agree with some of the other posters on here. If you're spending a day biking and hanging out with friends and you feel a gun will get in the way, then just leave it at home. Just because you have a permit to carry doesn't mean the gun has to be attached to your hip or even with you 24/7.

When I go out with friends and I know I'm going to be going to places that serve alcohol then I just leave the gun in my safe at home.

As for people giving you grief about carrying, then don't carry if you know you are going to with those people. If you go on a date and you don't know how that person feels about guns and carrying then leave the gun at home and find out first.

Good luck, don't give up just carry in moderation for awhile if you have to.
 
Tough choice whether to carry or not. Ideally, we'd only carry when we were going to need it or going rough, but that's like only wearing a motorcycle helmet when you're going to be in an accident. We can't know, so you pack or don't and get comfortable with the decision.

Still, we have a life quite outside of carrying. Stop carrying for a while and see which produces the most discomfort. If you really feel naked and uncomfortable without it, focus on friends who can deal with it.

I think disclosure that you're carrying is necessary for friends you're hanging with - you're doing the right thing. It is VERY weird for most people to be with someone and then realize they're packing. Particularly on a date, that would verge on real creepy for many women, they might wonder if you're packing duct tape, too.

I think by "gay" your friend simply meant that packing indicates to her that a person is so afraid of life happening that they have to wear a gun. Well, a lot of people feel that way, she was just honest enough to say it.

Sooner or later you'll tell a girl you're packing and she'll show you the Kahr in her purse... be sure to tell her that packing is lesbo...
 
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Heed - one can still go into a bar without consuming alcohol - they do serve soda and other drinks.

I would consider leaving the gun at home if your going out for a intertainment date with your friends knowing that a bar will be part of it.

The comment about it being Gay would not be considered a friendly comment - no matter who you hang with, no matter who your friends are, they should not have a problem with a personal choice of this nature. It is not their place .

Do what you feel is appropriate for you - your the only one living in that skin.
 
mnrivrat: I understand that concept. I do it all the time.

My question was about the simple statement of one poster that he shouldn't drink and bike; when he had clearly stated in his orig. post that he never consumed alcohol while biking.

???


Justin
 
I agree with MNrivrat, the "gay" comment was pretty nasty, the more I think about it. It was a very judgmental putdown that really didn't give a damn about your feelings.
 
Doc--Many Attractive women at Gunshows?

What???? What gunshows do you go to? I have seen attractive women at gun shows but they are usually wives of patrons or dealers. Even at huge shows like Tulsa you don't see alot of women. I take my wife with me to gun shows and she always comments on how very few women there are there.

Don't bring up carrying off the bat with Women or that you are a gun collector many have been brought up in Anti land and have never seen a responsible gun owner--you can teach them.

If your friend called you gay I am guessing it was just a jab friends trash friends all the time as long as it is just jabbing big deal.

Get something other than a Bike! If you can afford it, problem solved!
 
Thanks everyone. The thoughts do help.

When we are riding our motorcycles and we need to eat, sometimes everyone (except for me) decides on going to a place that happens to also be a bar. It is NOT a planned destination or anything. Of course, if I knew they would want to go to a bar, then I would just leave the gun at home.

However, couldn't you put one of these into a bag on your bike and lock the gun in there (cable locked to bike of course)?
http://www.center-of-mass.com/
Cable lock it to the bike and be done with that issue at least.
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I don't think that will even fit in the trunk in my bike (sportbike). However, that gave me an idea. Could I just thread a cable lock through the trigger guard and lock it inside the trunk? I'm not sure about doing that either.

Just don't carry when you go out with your buds to the bar.
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Going to the bar is not for drinking, it is for lunch. Also, I never know when everyone will want to go for lunch at a bar instead of a lunch spot.

but honestly, if you are going to drink you shouldn't have it all.
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I am definitely NOT talking about drinking while carrying (or while riding).

Good luck, don't give up just carry in moderation for awhile if you have to.
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Yeah, probably what I need for a little while.
 
I agree with MNrivrat, the "gay" comment was pretty nasty, the more I think about it. It was a very judgmental putdown that really didn't give a damn about your feelings.
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You are right. That was the message sent. She did not say it with a smile on her face. What she meant was "that is something a loser does", as well as "I have no respect for people like that".

I do not go to bars to meet women. I meet them on more sober terms.

Get something other than a Bike!
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No, I like my bike :)
 
Many of us dont feel the need to be armed 24/7 - however we are still 100% RKBA. Id say I carry maybe 30% of the time I go out. Going into town or to the mall? yup..down the street to let the dogs swim in the lake or to the corner for a coffee and a paper - nope not usually, just dont think about it.

I could not stand the idea of carrying IWB all the time with my Glock 26 - especially in the summer. Sorry but I dont choose to "dress around a gun"

One thing that gave me a lot more freedom was buying a Keltec P3AT and a pocket holster..it allows me to easily slip a gun into my pocket in casual summer cargo shorts and not worry about an old Tshirt riding up and exposing a gun. I have small kids and am always licking them up etc...a IWB Glock would drive me crazy. This P3AT was the best $225(?) I have spent on a gun. I can discreetly slip it out of the lockbox, locked glovebox, etc...it only takes a split second as opposed to wrestling with an IWB holster.

as far as the friend? - Id hardly call someone who calls you out like that a friend....but thats just me.
 
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