Thoughts on family safety

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Sindawe

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Outside The People's Republic of Boulder, CO
Background: In the past 30 days, my immediate family (Mother, Sister and her two sprogs) moved back to Colorado from a small rural town in central Florida. There, they never had to lock their doors, or their cars, or worry about valuables left in said cars. Here, its another matter altogether. Since moving into their apartment in the far north Metro Denver area, my sister has had her purse stolen from her truck. The purse contained her drivers license, her birth certificate and the SS cards for my neice and nephew, along with several hundred dollars in cash that was supposed to go to sister truck payment. When they moved into the place, I STRONGLY urged them to make it a habit to keep doors and windows locked and to use the pephole in the door BEFORE opening it. I may has well have told this to my cats... :banghead:

Everytime I go over to visit, the front door is unlocked. When I knock to gain entry ( I NEVER walk into someone elses house unbidden), I'm aways greeted with a questioning "I wonder who this is" look as the door is opened. :banghead:

I checked the sliding glass door in their apartment. Unlocked, no bar or post in the track to limit travel of the door. :banghead:

I also checked the windows last time I was over (they live on ground level). Also unlocked. :banghead:

No use suggesting they get a firearm, as for some reason my mother has a phobia about them (don't ask me, she grew up shooting while in AZ), they have a small child (3 y/o) in the house and quite frankly I suspect that they are of the "scream and cower" mindset if confronted with danger.

I've thought of just wandering in w/o knocking next time I visit, maybe take my nephew (the 3 y/o) for a trip to McD's without telling his mother or grandmother. Any further ideas on what steps I could take to discourage them from living in condition white 24x7?
 
Well...
I basically disowned my family - except for one member I still call family.

Kinda weird, as I was raised a certain way and being the eldest kid, and only male in the household, passed onto sibs what my Mentors & Elders had/ were passing down to me.

Now the guy that sired me, spent 32 yrs in the Army Nat'l Guard Reserves. I understand he made ...Shot Expert and whatever else with the 1911 and M1...and who knows what- all. He used to carry or keep a gun handy, he was 'strongly advised' to do so by LEO, and even a Judge or two as customers of his.

Dunno what happened, he chose NOT to, despite being advised so strongly. I do know had it NOT been for me tackling him when the shots rang out in later years, he would not ( nor I) still be breathing. I was CCW-ing when that 'event' happened - he was not. I literally tackled down and then tossed him over a brick wall and I went over that wall myself. 1911 out and in hand, handed him a K frame snubbie ( My BUG) and very firmly and in no uncertain terms said ..."crawl to that area <pointing> and don't get shot doing it! I got my ass eat out for taking charge and tearing his clothes. &%$#it - I should have never ever tried to reconcile with him - never. His big mouth almost got us both killed that night.

I paid for and secured a Used Ruger Security Six , lessons, training, ammo and even all the fees for a CCW license for the youngest male sib. When my neice was attacked by a dog...the Ruger was in a safe, unloaded, in the house. 911 was on hold as my neice was attacked.

Another brother...yeah well he too is in condition white. Now he does hunt, just when his neighborhood had tornado damage [not him directly two houses down did get damage] he and his wife went to her relatives. Then had to deal with Ins Co when their house was looted.

Sis, well she likes to get beat up , gets a divorce , has more kids, re-marries another wife beater. Now in her first wife beater situation, she did buy a gun...it was stolen by wife beater for dope out of the hiding place.
Last time I saw her I gave her a bungie cord...to keep her knees together.

I finally wised up. There is a Natural Order to things. Buzzards gotta eat too they say. So I decided Acceptance was the key to family and folks ( supposed friends) when it comes to some firearms, personal responsiblity and such.

One cannot choose family - one can fire / disown family. Better to choose like minded folks as people to be with. Better to use energies to assist , teach and share with folks receptive and wanting to learn personal awareness , personal responsibilty, and even firearms.

Lifes too short to be a doormat.

My responsibility is to to ME. If I don't care of me and my Serenity, I cannot take care of my safety - nor can I pass forward to those whom want to learn.

May sound cold, the reality is - so is this Natural Order of Things.
I want to piss off my deacon brother and others watching teevee preachers...all I got to do is mention the name "Darwin" . I used to add insult by "natural selections" , "prey" and "survival of the strongest species" when I spoke of Darwin.

As it stands now. They get shot or wake up dead. I am busy. Don't care when the surgery is, or the funeral, I have something scheduled I am sure of it.

---

Now, I have had folks in need, fly in and wanted to borrow something for CCW or HD. They got it. I have folks needing a house-sitter - I am there in a heartbeat. I have had my butt chewed out for giving blood in too short of time for a true friend in need. I have broken the speed limit to get to persons house when trouble hit and LEO was in route. I have spent many many nights with a friend in need, recovering from surgery, dying, whatever to keep them safe. I have spent many funerals/ weddings - not at the funeral/wedding instead keeping tabs on the house ( since BGs read papers and plan robberies when the house if empty).

I in return have had folks take care of me and keep me safe when I was recovering from injuries, surgeries, or give safe haven when the BGs wanted me and what I had access to.

I have folks on this board offer me the same - and I them. I have met two folks in real life on this board. One, being as I was legal to CCW were we where, drove his car, and went with his wife and her friend to run an errand.
He knew I would come b/t any evil and his wife and her friend...and I would have, still we are there for each other - even if in differing states.

Matter of Principle with me.



Steve
 
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I'm with sm--some folks are destined to be victims. Natural selection if you will.

Greg
 
Steve: excellent post as always, love to read your stuff!

My folks were pretty much "condition white". Sis, BIL and 14yo nephew live in large 3 story in city. Finally started locking house doors at night, most of the time. I put better lock on basement, but house if far from secure. BIL a few yrs ago investigated "bump in the night" w/ 9 iron. Thought of buying sis a keychain Fox but she'd not have it avail anyway. I love 'em but quit worrying about them.

OTOH, G-19 on desk as I type. Trying to stock up as tight $ allows.

Stay safe.
Bob
 
Check the vehicle and take whatever's valuable from it then take junior for an unannounced trip to the play ground.

Call the mom/sis from the cell phone and tell them you're coming over and that you'd like to take the kids for a treat.

Be sure to show up in less than 5 minutes after the call.
 
Maybe its a condition of where I grew up, and where I live, but right now, my doors are unlocked, my wallet is in my unlocked truck, and the keys are in the ignition. I know its not smart, but its the way things are here.
 
In a small town in northern Mn where i go hunting, cars and trucks sit idleing for hours at a time when it is cold, ( never start otherwise) NO on locks their door, I was told once. If you are out driving and the car dies, it's 30 below, you want to make sure the house you walk up to has the door open. That sort of mentality has it basis too.

In Chicago suburbs where i spent my highschool years, NO one locked up the house, no one. in fact until i changed the locks when my parents were leaving for the winter later on, i do not know of a house key for that house. Why? we lived in an area where property crimes were dealt with without the aid of the police. I only heard of one home burglary in my entire time living there. I later heard a doper returned every thing he had stolen, missing three fingers. Now just ten minutes from my parents house were plenty of places iwould not travel without a gun, chicagos gun ban included.

Where i live now, is safe, but with in fifteen minute drives are places of intense gang activity.

I have finally gotten my dad to stop opening his wallet in public in south florida. he has to carry 2 twenties in his front pocket now, or money to make that up. that way the greens fees, the gas for the boat, the stop at the speedway do not get him killed for the half inch of green he keeps in his wallet.
 
- Well I was once married to a rehead, with 2 Master's in Psych that had also "been published".

Now she carried (heaved around) a 'purse', put it this way, when the 85# dog needed carried into the vet, I carried the dog - easier and lighter to carry than the purse.

Now she had "everything" in it, tops open, and everything from business cell, phones, cash , checkbook, credit cards, sets of keys...you name it. Just scrounge around, and the good stuff always on top, exposed - and left in plain site for all to see on the seat of the car.

Yes I raised hell. Especially with the type of clients she dealt with , and in the neighborhoods she was in.

Well we got her a 1 yr old used car, with a cute gadget to lock doors, she went thru batteries...at least she locked the door. Purse...well she added a business laptop to leave on the seat along with it.

Now construction projects on our route to the Big City - well in one week we both had to have new windshields. It happens. Deductible and all figured in so basically only out the frustration, and having the glass folks show up and install at our place of work respectivly.

I asked, how much for a window, in the not "if" - instead "when" it got busted out. Ouch...electric windows are 'pensive.

So I showed up at her work one day, and moved her purse into her trunk. Her smokes were in the purse. With her clients, best to not have smokes lying around...employees had a safe place to smoke out of view.

Hell hath no fury like a woman with no smokes. Then the thought of having to pay for a laptop, the extra cell phone...

I went to shoot skeet. She has been published and all , she can "think" - right?

Well one of her co-workers suggested she look in the trunk...My name was used in vain, and before she could light into me...every single one of her co-workers, including her supers and boss's..."Shut the hell up. WE all know how you are, about time you took some responsiblity".

It snowed that night, first night of quiet I had enjoyed in sometime. Granted it was in the middle of June, and I had to make sure me or the dogs did not slip on any "icy" spots inside the house...still...well, she came around on that one wittle detail about "out of sight -out of mind".

Explains why she had her adulturous affair away from our house...I suppose.

Weird thing again - her daddy did not raise her to be this way. Her momma, and some other family "got to her".

When we had a guy in our neighborhood - waving a gun, drunk, and threatening folks, all the while I had MY CCW drawn and at low ready, and I ( with no Psych degree) talked him into putting it down, as the LEO were en-route...

Yeah well I was being told how wrong I was, and that was not the way to talk to a guy with a "emotional instability" problem. So sayth the red-head.

Her daddy agreed with me (my shooting pard), so did did the LEO.

Seems "put the $#@%ing gun down and let me see hands NOW! " with mine at low ready - worked well enough. Maybe that is why I have not been "published" - you reacon? ;)

--

Now my mom, well she is getting old. She used to be aware, or listen, or remember. I have taken some extra precautions with beefing up the house.

She knows better. I mean she lost her best friend of ~60 yrs of friendship to a mugging, died of a result of injuries. Had a few more folks in her Sunday School class attacked in carports, driveways, or in the yard.

Not long ago had a murder just down the corner at the gas station she buys gas. One day alone had a bunch of car-jackings and robbery of purses on the parking lot next to said gas station - Grocery store where she shops. I mean she can see these places out her front door.

Well...lo and behold her kids...the ones that used to be sibs to me...called - that was a surprise. They were going to come over and get some stuff out of her garage that just kinda sorta ended up being stored there.

All hell broke loose. Seems her kids did this while she was having her hair done...EVERYTHING was taken out of garage and put on front lawn, THEY decided what she needed to keep, and left a PILE - seriously bigger than my truck.

To say Mom was shocked - is an understatement.

Then the kids TOLD HER she needed to retire and had some ideas Where She WOULD GO.

NOT once was any of this a suggestion, nor was any input asked of her, not once did anyone even ask what plans she has made or is making.

I am the only sib that has kept tabs on mom - then all of a sudden Charge of the Sheep Brigade comes in.

Mom was Chastised for the beefed up security measures. Understand, Mom will ask me, or I might even suggest someting - Final decision is what SHE wants.

"About that shotgun Steve gave you sometime back....you don't need it".

They crossed too many lines in the sand. Bad enough they are breathing my air, now they crossed MY lines in the sand.

I talked to mom. Overwhelmed is not the word. She told me, she wants that shotgun on premise. I have since moved it to another secure area of the house. I listened. I heard what mom wanted ( and needed to vent).

With a green light from here-

I bit my lip and sent an email to one of her kids.

Please be advised the shotgun on Mom's premises is under MY name. I bought and paid for it, and did the 4473. If that gun comes up missing - Police will be notified of theft of property. I do have the serial numbers, copy of 4473, and witnesses from where I bought it.

Mom wants the shotgun on her premises.

As to the other matters - I suggest you take note of a few matters. That house is hers - agree or disagree - bottom line - her house and property. She will make decisions for her retirement, and such.

If folks choose to meddle where they are NOT asked to , or do so anyway - THEY take all responsiblity for her safe well being.

If you will note - I do not meddle, I appreciate it when folks do not meddle with me.

We simply disagree. If one is standing on a train track - and the train is coming, one can pray their ass off - my understanding of this Religion you all seem to practice is - one is supposed to take an action, take some responsiblity for one's own well being. Not going to say Prayer is wrong...pray as you get off the damn tracks.

Now it may be your time is up. Might mean you lose a foot...but standing there doing nothing but Praying damn sure is not going to anything but get the train and tracks mighty bloody and gooey.



No I didn't sign it, I only do that for folks I care about.

Mom and I had a bit more discussing. If they do in fact meddle - they take all that goes with it.

I will walk away. In fact am making plans to do so. Semester is ending shortly, I can do something b/t the end of Fall and beginning of Spring. Mom knows this, don't like it, can understand to some degree as to why I will not ever again go up against 4 familes. BTDT and got screwed blued and tatooed.

Something happens to mom, especially against better judgment like "just call 911". Their ass is mine. I will take legal action against mom's kids.

Nobody knows this but you and now this forum.

You folks assisting me on this change - you know whom you are. Thank You.
Never been to NC, CO or IN...don't mean I cannot adapt. TX, TN and other places - I have spent time there.

I have to take responsibilty for me, especially now. See I took way too much time away from ME, in raising 3 sibs and being there for mom all these years.
I did not invest enough into ME.

20/20 hindsight is so clear. If I had taken care of me better, I could now tell the kids to go pound sand up their orfices and moved mom to where SHE wants to be...and she would not be getting meddled with now.

In AA it is often said -

One cannot change people, places and things. Only a person can change themselves.

Often times a person has to hit a bottom or bottoms in order to change Themselves-First. With this often comes the changing people, places , playgrounds and playthings

BTDT. Oh how well I know. One never forgets the smell of brimstone and the heat from the flames of Hell.

One learns from mistakes - less expensive and painful if mistakes of another.-Mentor & Elder of mine.

I have my mistakes , those of others to use as my 20/20 Hind-sight Tools of Guidance

Family is not the only group of folks one has to deal with in life. Applicable to other people, be they of a group or not many of these learning curves.

Steve.

Yeah - I am still up for adoption if anyone wants their own Curmdgeon working towards Reprobate. :p

Why being as I are a Southern Gentleman and all...I'm even house broke. I know to remove dishes from sink before I take a tinkle in the sink. :uhoh: :eek: :D ;)

Regards,

Steve
 
Something happens to mom, especially against better judgment like "just call 911". Their ass is mine. I will take legal action against mom's kids.
Click to expand...

Not doubting you, but how would one do this?
 
States vary on Statutes and Definitons. I will have to peruse the newest additions My state has.

I figure I can find a tilecrawler to give advice and clarify.
The reality is - we have a growing Geriatric Society.

Neglect : Neglect of the Elderly is a growing problem and many "definitions" fall under this statue.

Abuse is one, both physical and mental abuse.

Safety encompasses a number of subjects.
 
Pilgrim said:
I've found over the years that worrying about what other people do or don't do to take care of themselves is wasted effort.

Pilgrim
Click to expand...

I agree Its not that you do not care . You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink
 
I've found over the years that worrying about what other people do or don't do to take care of themselves is wasted effort.
Click to expand...
True, and my motives are mostly selfish since *I* will have to deal with the ramifications, hair pulling and teeth gnashing that will arise should things go south for the family. And guess who gets the sprogs should both adults become incapacitated.

KriegHund:Well, I suggested Erie or even Berthod. But NOOOOO.... Truthfully, they are about as far from Metro Denver as you are.
 
I assume then that you have to go to a job in denver?

Colorado is a real nice place once you get away from the city.

Same can be said for pretty much anyplace though. It just something about pollution, towering buildings, traffic, and lotsa people per sq ft that gets people irritated :neener:
 
Sindawe said:
No, *I* go the other way (into the P.R. of Boulder) for my job. My sibling goes out to Brighton for her work. Yes, but the city keeps following. I remember when YOUR location was just a wide spot in the road. Now it is its own freaking county.
Click to expand...

Aye :(
 
f4t9r said:
I agree Its not that you do not care . You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink
Click to expand...

Agreed... some people are just set in their ways. My mother and I (when I was very young) were once home during a break in. My mother even went looking for a gun, and the BG only left because she screamed that she had a gun as they(?) were coming through the window, even though she did not.

To this day she doesn't see the "need" for a loaded and quickly accessable gun in the house.
 
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