- Well I was once married to a rehead, with 2 Master's in Psych that had also "been published".
Now she carried (heaved around) a 'purse', put it this way, when the 85# dog needed carried into the vet, I carried the dog - easier and lighter to carry than the purse.
Now she had "everything" in it, tops open, and everything from business cell, phones, cash , checkbook, credit cards, sets of keys...you name it. Just scrounge around, and the good stuff always on top, exposed - and left in plain site for all to see on the seat of the car.
Yes I raised hell. Especially with the type of clients she dealt with , and in the neighborhoods she was in.
Well we got her a 1 yr old used car, with a cute gadget to lock doors, she went thru batteries...at least she locked the door. Purse...well she added a business laptop to leave on the seat along with it.
Now construction projects on our route to the Big City - well in one week we both had to have new windshields. It happens. Deductible and all figured in so basically only out the frustration, and having the glass folks show up and install at our place of work respectivly.
I asked, how much for a window, in the not "if" - instead "when" it got busted out. Ouch...electric windows are 'pensive.
So I showed up at her work one day, and moved her purse into her trunk. Her smokes were in the purse. With her clients, best to not have smokes lying around...employees had a safe place to smoke out of view.
Hell hath no fury like a woman with no smokes. Then the thought of having to pay for a laptop, the extra cell phone...
I went to shoot skeet. She has been published and all , she can "think" - right?
Well one of her co-workers suggested she look in the trunk...My name was used in vain, and before she could light into me...every single one of her co-workers, including her supers and boss's..."Shut the hell up. WE all know how you are, about time you took some responsiblity".
It snowed that night, first night of quiet I had enjoyed in sometime. Granted it was in the middle of June, and I had to make sure me or the dogs did not slip on any "icy" spots inside the house...still...well, she came around on that one wittle detail about "out of sight -out of mind".
Explains why she had her adulturous affair away from our house...I suppose.
Weird thing again - her daddy did not raise her to be this way. Her momma, and some other family "got to her".
When we had a guy in our neighborhood - waving a gun, drunk, and threatening folks, all the while I had MY CCW drawn and at low ready, and I ( with no Psych degree) talked him into putting it down, as the LEO were en-route...
Yeah well I was being told how wrong I was, and that was not the way to talk to a guy with a "emotional instability" problem. So sayth the red-head.
Her daddy agreed with me (my shooting pard), so did did the LEO.
Seems "put the $#@%ing gun down and let me see hands NOW! " with mine at low ready - worked well enough. Maybe that is why I have not been "published" - you reacon?
--
Now my mom, well she is getting old. She used to be aware, or listen, or remember. I have taken some extra precautions with beefing up the house.
She knows better. I mean she lost her best friend of ~60 yrs of friendship to a mugging, died of a result of injuries. Had a few more folks in her Sunday School class attacked in carports, driveways, or in the yard.
Not long ago had a murder just down the corner at the gas station she buys gas. One day alone had a bunch of car-jackings and robbery of purses on the parking lot next to said gas station - Grocery store where she shops. I mean she can see these places out her front door.
Well...lo and behold her kids...the ones that used to be sibs to me...called - that was a surprise. They were going to come over and get some stuff out of her garage that just kinda sorta ended up being stored there.
All hell broke loose. Seems her kids did this while she was having her hair done...EVERYTHING was taken out of garage and put on front lawn, THEY decided what she needed to keep, and left a PILE - seriously bigger than my truck.
To say Mom was shocked - is an understatement.
Then the kids TOLD HER she needed to retire and had some ideas Where She WOULD GO.
NOT once was any of this a suggestion, nor was any input asked of her, not once did anyone even ask what plans she has made or is making.
I am the only sib that has kept tabs on mom - then all of a sudden Charge of the Sheep Brigade comes in.
Mom was Chastised for the beefed up security measures. Understand, Mom will ask me, or I might even suggest someting - Final decision is what SHE wants.
"About that shotgun Steve gave you sometime back....you don't need it".
They crossed too many lines in the sand. Bad enough they are breathing my air, now they crossed MY lines in the sand.
I talked to mom. Overwhelmed is not the word. She told me, she wants that shotgun on premise. I have since moved it to another secure area of the house. I listened. I heard what mom wanted ( and needed to vent).
With a green light from here-
I bit my lip and sent an email to one of her kids.
P
lease be advised the shotgun on Mom's premises is under MY name. I bought and paid for it, and did the 4473. If that gun comes up missing - Police will be notified of theft of property. I do have the serial numbers, copy of 4473, and witnesses from where I bought it.
Mom wants the shotgun on her premises.
As to the other matters - I suggest you take note of a few matters. That house is hers - agree or disagree - bottom line - her house and property. She will make decisions for her retirement, and such.
If folks choose to meddle where they are NOT asked to , or do so anyway - THEY take all responsiblity for her safe well being.
If you will note - I do not meddle, I appreciate it when folks do not meddle with me.
We simply disagree. If one is standing on a train track - and the train is coming, one can pray their ass off - my understanding of this Religion you all seem to practice is - one is supposed to take an action, take some responsiblity for one's own well being. Not going to say Prayer is wrong...pray as you get off the damn tracks.
Now it may be your time is up. Might mean you lose a foot...but standing there doing nothing but Praying damn sure is not going to anything but get the train and tracks mighty bloody and gooey.
No I didn't sign it, I only do that for folks I care about.
Mom and I had a bit more discussing. If they do in fact meddle - they take all that goes with it.
I will walk away. In fact am making plans to do so. Semester is ending shortly, I can do something b/t the end of Fall and beginning of Spring. Mom knows this, don't like it, can understand to some degree as to why I will not ever again go up against 4 familes. BTDT and got screwed blued and tatooed.
Something happens to mom, especially against better judgment like "just call 911". Their ass is mine. I will take legal action against mom's kids.
Nobody knows this but you and now this forum.
You folks assisting me on this change - you know whom you are. Thank You.
Never been to NC, CO or IN...don't mean I cannot adapt. TX, TN and other places - I have spent time there.
I have to take responsibilty for me, especially now. See I took way too much time away from ME, in raising 3 sibs and being there for mom all these years.
I did not invest enough into ME.
20/20 hindsight is so clear. If I had taken care of me better, I could now tell the kids to go pound sand up their orfices and moved mom to where SHE wants to be...and she would not be getting meddled with now.
In AA it is often said -
One cannot change people, places and things. Only a person can change themselves.
Often times a person has to hit a bottom or bottoms in order to change Themselves-First. With this often comes the changing people, places , playgrounds and playthings
BTDT. Oh how well I know. One never forgets the smell of brimstone and the heat from the flames of Hell.
One learns from mistakes - less expensive and painful if mistakes of another.-Mentor & Elder of mine.
I have my mistakes , those of others to use as my
20/20 Hind-sight Tools of Guidance
Family is not the only group of folks one has to deal with in life. Applicable to other people, be they of a group or not many of these learning curves.
Steve.
Yeah - I am still up for adoption if anyone wants their own Curmdgeon working towards Reprobate.
Why being as I are a Southern Gentleman and all...I'm even house broke. I know to remove dishes from sink before I take a tinkle in the sink.
Regards,
Steve