You know you're a mall ninja if....

If you have a tattoo that says "tactical" or "swat"

canteen thats so 90s they use those fake me out camel back units from gander mountain now

if you keep your snacks in 30mm ammo cans

if you have ever thought about seriously buying tactical bacon
http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/c399/

if you have ever refered to yourself as a sniper (without actualy being a real one obvioulsy)

if you refer to the general population as civis

if you base your training off of call of duty modern warfair 2

if you watch a real training video or go to a class and think "these guys dont have enough equipment for a real situation"

if you think you could handle chuck norris going "rogue"

if you own a scope with a mildot retical side parallax adjustment and has more adjustable magnification than needed but wont change any of the setting because its in the "sweet" spot (read doesnt know how they work)

If you wear $1,000 worth of cammo ( including face paint ) to hunt out of a deer stand.

If you wear 5.11 pajamas, you might be a mall-ninja.

Majik said:

You know you're a mall ninja if you think a .223 won't penetrate a grizzly bear's head.

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or you might be a mall ninja...if you think each and every time the "Mythical" bear is charging you ...you would be able to make a head shot.....

You might be a "mall ninja" if reading this thread irritates the hell out of you...

...if you live in urban Atlanta and have a snorkel on your hummer...with spinners

...if you've printed this thread, collated, and placed it in a 3 ring binder for reference. Because you genuinely believe everything in here, and want to make sure "you've covered all the bases." Just in case.

rogertc: You gain your gun knowledge from shooting gun on video games and you think you know it all.

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A sporting goods store near me used to have a really great shooting video game. I wish I had the money to get one. It is gone now, but it was great, and if you were good there, you would be a crack shot.

...if half of your 200 posts are in mall ninja threads.

Originally Posted by GasX
When the ballistic gelatin you use to compare ammo is lime flavored...

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That's the best kind. You can eat what you don't shoot up.

Blues Brother said:

Sportsmans guide IS the place I go to when I need a smokin hot deal on a dozen pair of green boxer short underwear available only in size 4X.

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get a pair of scissors and I think you have a mall ninja recipe for a ghillie suit.

get a pair of scissors and I think you have a mall ninja recipe for a ghillie suit.

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dude those ghillie suits scare me. actually the suits dont scare me, its the people that buy them that scare me.

well you know.......its also a great place to buy snow camo and german military winter goggles. and russian military canteens for m ww 2. oh and dont forget the swedish patrol leg warmers. I mean who doesnt have a pair of those???

but my favorite is the used civil war bullets. that is quality stuff. but not nearly as cool as a used military parachute. I mean who doesnt need one of those???

Don't forget about the grandfather of the mall-ninja, the malt-shop ninja.
*Note, the age of the person is irrelevant.*

The malt-shop ninja is the guy who buys all the Wehrmacht and SS stuff from the gun shows to wear to the range when he goes to shoot his Luger and M98 (or Russian stuff to match his 91/30). You can be a gear q**** and have nothing but old guns.

If everything in your tactical loadout came from a Cheaper Than Dirt.

Blues Brother said:

dude those ghillie suits scare me. actually the suits dont scare me, its the people that buy them that scare me.

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yeah . . . look up a video caleld sniper dance by a fine young gent named Loki on youtube. Be afraid, be very afraid. How afraid? I'd say spray painted toliet papar roll sunshade afraid.

OK, but if you see Charlie Sheen or the ghost of Patrick Swayze, run.

Wow, that thing is hideous.

if you own a camo set for every environment you can think of

if your bug out bag includes pimple cream

if you think jack bauer is a your hero

if you think those red/green illuminated optics from tasco are so versitile

if you think the idea of a chainsaw bayonet is good

if you think your AR is useless without the $7000 worth of crap strapped to it

if you wont consider an M1 garand because it doesnt have picatiny rails

if youll only buy products that are milspec because they are milspec

if you only view a knife as a weapon not a tool

if your underwear is made of kevlar

if you own tactical socks

if everything you own has a camo pattern on it or all matte black

When you took your CCW class and the teacher stop to ask if you question was serious, and it was.

You think a hollow rambo knife is the best there is

you strapped hellfire rockets to your electric recon vehicle

you have a bayonet for you handgun

you try to open carry with a thigh holster

you cast judgments on people cause they don't have the same gun as you, its because their stupid and dont know as much as you do.

you tried to tap a firearm on you back john mclain style

when people who dont even know you call you a mall ninja

you claim black ops are called that cause they only do missons at night

you argue over the dumbest things, like 9mm parabellum and 9mm luger, and claim both are not suitable for selfdefense cause they dont start with a 4 and end with a 5

you claim that you were in *insert war doing spec ops* but you were at the time 10 years old

you only shoot milsurp ammo cause you claim that factory ammo is weak and slow and nonrealiable

you make people hate you and thus write this thread

if you clean your guns daily but only go the the range once a week

You correct people when they use the term pistol when referring to a revolver.

You correct people when they use the term clip when referring to a magazine.

You buy HD shogun shells because they say Home Defense on them.

You spend your whole day trying to come up with a good response to your latest AK vs AR debate.