Very interesting read. Glad it has not degenerated into "don't use it, get this instead"... Pros and cons and suggestions, makes for a good read.
I have a similar issue with my wrists, broke them both when I was young. My hand likes to pop out of it's socket all the time and I could see it happening to me in a critical stage. As such, been looking at the .380, but mostly the .22. I had a J frame that I was going to buy for HD but am letting it go for 2 reasons. I had an opportunity to fire one with standard pressure .38 148g bullet. The recoil wasn't a lot, but on the third and fifth shot, the recoil popped my wrist out. Add that with a second look at the rifling (which is practically non existent, didn't have a bore light the first time around) made this a bad choice for me.
So to the OP, thanks for throwing this question out there in a way that has sparked good discussion. I hope you come to a good decision and share your experience with us.