First date and bringing up your hobby

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dak0ta

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Hi,

Just wondering what you guys say to the girl when you tell them about your shooting hobby. How you describe it and if you ask them to come try it out straight up, or test the waters first to see their response. I'm in the generally Liberal Pacific NW if that helps with female demographics haha.

Insight appreciated. :)
 
Hmm good question. Where im from its pretty accepted and everyone does it. Range dates are always fun IMO. If she's not an anti and set in it and you go about it right youll either have to buy extra guns and ammo or at least have someone accepting of your hobby.
 
I suppose there's also the topic of hunting, which I love. I'm prepared to counter all the anti-hunting points, but don't really want to get in a debate over it.
 
I'm a married man, but if I found myself on a first date I'm pretty sure that the lady would already know I'm a gun guy.

If that would be a problem for her, I don't want to spend any time with her anyway.

I'm just not the kind of guy that can enjoy spending time with people that don't approve of who I am.
 
Amen, the way it ought to be. Well she's educated and likes the outdoors, so hopefully she'll be objective. If I get a good response, I'll see if she wants to go to shoot a round of trap.

Better yet, maybe she's used a gun before and thought it was fun, that would be the best scenario!
 
If she likes the outdoors youre halfway to the hunting scenario. Best of luck to ya. Better bring lots of ammos
 
I'm a married man, but if I found myself on a first date I'm pretty sure that the lady would already know I'm a gun guy.

If that would be a problem for her, I don't want to spend any time with her anyway.

I'm just not the kind of guy that can enjoy spending time with people that don't approve of who I am.
This^^^^^ 100%

If you are already worried about what she may think of you....and almost acting as if you may be considering hiding certain aspects of your life from her.....then stop right there.
That's a BIG mistake.
Just be yourself.
If she still digs you...then great.
If not...then she wasn't the right one for you anyways.
 
I'd just be open about it. If it is an important part of your life you should be able to talk about it with someone you like. If they're not interested then that's okay.

If she gives you a canned anti-gunner response then it may be that she just needs to be educated. Don't get aggressive or defensive with it but let the person know that you have firearms and enjoy them.

You can avoid bringing it up but later on if she has strong feelings against guns it may be a major issue. Better to get it into the open now IMO.
 
I have found this topic to be a bit tricky. Bring it up too quickly and it might leave them wondering why this topic needed to be brought up so quickly. Wait too long and it seems like you were hiding something. Forcing them to accept the gun before they get to know the guy might be a problem for some.

The flip side to not addressing it early is you might find yourself in an awkward position. I was out on a third date and was unarmed because we hadn't discussed it and I had a close call that I managed to get us out of but it was a tense moment knowing I might have to take a stand against two aggressors unarmed.

Good luck with the thread. I menitoned the above incident in a thread and recevied less than a warm reception.
 
For what it's worth, I heard that opposites attract, though I'm not sure that applies to the gun issue.

I've been studying women all my life, and my modus operandi would be to do my firearms kibitzing on The High Road, and talk of other things with the ladies. Although I enjoy my firearms as much as the next guy, I do not define myself by them. It's not talk of "guns," per se, that turn some women off; it's that single-dimensioned people are oftentimes boring and even unbalanced to some degree. (I'm not suggesting this is you!) I know a feller who loves to talk about trains, and it is impossible to have a conversation with him where he doesn't bring up the subject. He was unsuccessful at ever maintaining a relationship with a female, and even his buddies avoid him to some degree.

Trains, guns, collecting barbed wire, music, kayaking, hiking, et cetera; all bring color and interest to one's life, but there are other dimensions to a balanced life as well.
 
I went through this about 2-3 years ago. I handled it when the discussion of "hobbies" came up. We talked about what we did for fun, and I mentioned shooting sporting clays. I did with several women I went out with. A few wanted to know more, a few shrugged it off and moved on. The key is to bring it up casually. As if shooting is a hobby like any other, like running, hiking, biking, etc. If you don't treat it as any different than any other hobby, which it isn't, it will be less likely to set off a red flag. If it is a red flag issue with a woman, then you two are likely not that compatible anyway.

Best of luck out there!
 
I've done a few first dates at the shooting range followed by a picnic. Gotta love the South!

Also, I usually OC so there is no concern about bringing up guns. If I got the number, they already know.
 
Not an issue for me. My wife was reloading shot shells about 7 years before I met her.
 
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I'd only bring it up if that's where the conversation naturally flows. For example if politics or current events is discussed. If she expresses any concern about her safety as a single woman where she lives or works, that type of thing.
 
Good question. I actually have a second date coming up tonight, and I'm in a similar situation to you. My work environment is mostly guys, so I have a hard time meeting women. As such, I've started using online dating. One of the pictures on my profile is of me halfway through a draw of my revolver, with full cartridge belt. So by the time they respond to that first message, they already know I'm at least interested in and own at least one gun.

Other than that, it hasn't come up yet with this particular girl. She seems pretty cool, and when the time seems right I'll casually bring it up. I'm not going to force the issue though. That only serves to polarize people.

Like Vonderek said, I also don't drag politics into the conversation, as I'm fairly sure she doesn't 100% agree with my views. When it comes up, we'll talk about it. Early dates are much like interviews. You want to be honest, but you don't want to be toooo forthcoming until you're pretty comfortable with each other.
 
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I met my wife at college. The first time I visited campus before the school year started I ended up in her apartment, friend of a friend thing, but only met her two roommates. Turns out she had gone shooting and really enjoyed it, so that weekend she was out buying herself a Model 60.

A word of caution, just because your girl likes guns and shooting doesn't mean you'll agree on all things gun related. We had a long argument about the age our kids can start shooting and she really wasn't comfortable with me carrying inside the house at first. That one was not negotiable.
 
Maybe you get that out in the open quickly, and if she has a problem with it date over. If she wants to go shoot, she's a keeper!
 
If that would be a problem for her, I don't want to spend any time with her anyway.

I agree 110%

There are a lot of things you shouldn't blurt out on a first date. Gun ownership is one of them.

Well, I agree that you don't just blurt it out, out of the blue. Nothing like, "Hi, I'm Paul and I'm addicted to guns." :)
However, it's a first date. The question, "So, what are your hobbies?" or "What do you do for fun?" is bound to come up. I wouldn't avoid it at all. Get it out there if that question is asked. If he or she is not okay with it, it will save you both any additional wasted time.

I am lucky. In Arkansas, if you told a girl you didn't own a gun, she would probably wonder what was wrong with you.
 
You set the standard for her to follow. Don't worry about what she thinks, just do what you do normally. She'll see there isn't a problem with guns over time. If she is anti gun it's just societal brainwashing. You can undo that by showing her how to live with firearms.
 
No clue. My wife brought it up on our first date. :D

I would think at some point your conversation will steer toward hobbies. That would be the time to bring up hunting or sport shooting and gauge her reaction.
 
If you like the girl, get her to talk about herself and listen. She will think you are fascinating because you are asking questions about her. You can hear a lot just by listening.

The surest way to kill a budding relationship is for the guy to insist on talking about himself and his own interests excessively. Also, never lie when she asks you a direct question. That is the unforgivable sin.
 
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