3KillerBs
Member
A couple decades ago when DH and I were first dating he borrowed his mom's .22 rifle for me and took me can plinking. I've been hooked ever since.
Dating girlfriends and guns
- Thread starter StephenT
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StephenT
Member
I'll let you know how it turns out. At this stage, we're still progressing through eHarmony's guided communication, so questions and multiple choice answers are flying back and forth. So far, so good!
As far as filtering people as pro-gun or anti-gun, I don't think such a feature exists in eHarmony.
Besides, I don't really care if she's "into guns". I can always influence her thinking with a visit to the range if she agrees with the idea...
As far as filtering people as pro-gun or anti-gun, I don't think such a feature exists in eHarmony.
Besides, I don't really care if she's "into guns". I can always influence her thinking with a visit to the range if she agrees with the idea...Piney Woods
Member
You're hanging around with the wrong women.
I met my wife via match.com (similar to eHarmony). I mentioned in my profile that I shot competitively. If a lady had a problem with it, she wouldn't reply to my ad. No sense wasting either of our time if it was going to be an issue.
If I were on the dating scene I wouldn't mention them until we actually got to know each other. Then it provides a context for her to judge what you're saying. Imagine if you said, "I collect Star Wars action figures!" on the first date. You'd probably strike out. But if she gets to know you as a funny, intelligent, and all-around-good-guy, the Star Wars collection could be something that is cute and endearing.
The same goes for shooting. I'd just let it happen naturally for a while and then invite them to do some Sunday afternoon plinking picnic with .22s once I know that they know what kind of person I am.
The same goes for shooting. I'd just let it happen naturally for a while and then invite them to do some Sunday afternoon plinking picnic with .22s once I know that they know what kind of person I am.
Hokkmike
Member
I'm surprised you haven't taken more heat on this one. I think, perhaps, women may have a greater degree of healthy fear and respect for guns. But what people understand and know how to use they accept more readily.
I believe that if you find the "right" girl shooting and guns will be your second consideration not your first. People are more important than things. If my wife thought our relationship hinged on her acceptance of my hobbies of interests it would rightly devalue her understanding about my true feelings towards her.
But - you are in a good position. Find your match where shooters hang out, etc. Maybe then SHE will be the one to have to break it to you that she loves to shoot hoping you won't find it objectionable.
If it's a hobby then list it under hobbies. If you sport shoot, list it under sports. If it's a political issue for you, politics. The simple truth is that if it would be a problem for you if someone was opposed instead of intrigued then you should put it up front with everything else in your life and not act like you're uncomfortable or ashamed of it.
BTW, if you're in TX how is it that you think women don't shoot (Heck, here in TN it would be unusual to have 6 women together and 3 of them not having enjoyed shooting in the past (and one have a carry permit, pull out her gun and clear it and have the discussion shift to it, carry methods, ranges, etc.).
BTW, if you're in TX how is it that you think women don't shoot (Heck, here in TN it would be unusual to have 6 women together and 3 of them not having enjoyed shooting in the past (and one have a carry permit, pull out her gun and clear it and have the discussion shift to it, carry methods, ranges, etc.).
Atla
Member
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2008
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- 350
In my 6.5 years of college, I've only had ONE GIRL say anything negative towards guns.
Which was a shame, cause she was pretty.
Other than that, I've yet to meet a girl who isn't interested in at least TRYING to shoot. Usually they have a bunch of typical liberal misconceptions, but if you explain stuff out to 'em - they usually begin to understand. Just gotta work on them some.
Guns and girls have never been an issue for me. And I ain't rich... but I am good looking. ;>
Which was a shame, cause she was pretty.
Other than that, I've yet to meet a girl who isn't interested in at least TRYING to shoot. Usually they have a bunch of typical liberal misconceptions, but if you explain stuff out to 'em - they usually begin to understand. Just gotta work on them some.
Guns and girls have never been an issue for me. And I ain't rich... but I am good looking. ;>
NYenthusiast
Member
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2005
- Messages
- 45
Its the kind of thing I would disclose very early on in a relationship. Most girls that I have dated have been understanding about my interest in firearms. However, I did have one girl freak out at the sight of my shotgun leaning against the wall of my bedroom a few months back. It took alot of explaining to get her to except that it made sense from a home defense perspective.
What???
You mean Gun Ownership isn't one of the 3,278 points of compatibility that E*Harmony looks for?
As a guy who dated quite a few nutjobs prior to meeting the now-Mrs. JWarren, I can tell you that I HOPE that this scares away SOME prospective girlfriends.
As I see it, that is a great barometer for any potential future I'd have with the person.
A major issue that ends a relationship NOW is a blessing compared to one later that causes alimony. Ask me how I know...
-- John
On our second date with my now wife. I asked her if it would be OK to stop by the gun shop to pick up a new gun of mine that had just come in. It was a 5 inch bull barrel Ruger MK II. She said sure and even remarked that she liked the looks of the gun. Often if women come from a hunting, fishing, shooting family they realize its fine.
jakemccoy
Member
You may be the kind of dude that goes to the range at least twice per week. If you are and you're trying nonchalantly to ease the gun thing into a relationship, that's misleading because twice a week at the range means it's more than merely a casual hobby. All your conversations necessarily involve a conscious effort of not mentioning guns. By definition, you're being phony. If the girl later says f-off in not so many words, don't blame her. You wasted everybody's time. She may not want to learn about guns from you at all, and that's totally fair.
If a girl I met online doesn't tell me she has kids until I meet her in person, I would be pissed - not because I don't like kids (I do), but more because kids are a major piece of information. If she hid such information from me thinking she could ease me into it, I would not be able to trust her from that point forward. It’s like she’s thinking only of herself and not allowing me to make my own decisions for what I want in my life.
If a girl I met online doesn't tell me she has kids until I meet her in person, I would be pissed - not because I don't like kids (I do), but more because kids are a major piece of information. If she hid such information from me thinking she could ease me into it, I would not be able to trust her from that point forward. It’s like she’s thinking only of herself and not allowing me to make my own decisions for what I want in my life.
Aguila Blanca
Member
List your hobby in your profile and don't waste both of your time avoiding what is very often a deal-breaker for a relationship.StephenT said:
As for the Cajun queen, there is no "probably." If you don't know that she's gun-tolerant, you should assume that she isn't. Before investing any time/energy in a preliminary meeting -- tell her about your hobby and ask if that's an issue for her. If it's an issue -- stop right there.
mgregg85
Member
I'd be upfront about it as possible without coming off as weird. If she asks you about what your interested in or what you like to do, just mention it. Or if there is some place where you could mention it in your profile.
Why waste either of your time if she is against gun ownership? Any girl who would hesitate to reply to an on-line profile because it mentions firearms as a hobby should not be a girl any of us would want to spend time with. There would be no compatibility and would just be a waste of time. I say it is better to find out immediately if it is an issue.
Hank Dodge
Member
Finding a good partner in life is extremely hard. When you "click" with the right gal, you will know it. My wife has absolutely no interest in shooting; but, I don't do sewing and craft stuff either. She will complain about my guns occasionally when I have spent too much over a short period on things. I can't blame her for that, she's probably right (but I'll never admit to it).
Just be up front with gals and you will save a lot of heartache. Best to air out any misgivings before wasting a bunch of time and money on someone that just won't workout.
Just be up front with gals and you will save a lot of heartache. Best to air out any misgivings before wasting a bunch of time and money on someone that just won't workout.
Drizzt
Member
When I posted my profile on OKCupid.com, one of my photos was of me at the range. It did not show any firearms, but I had on my ear protection, eye protection, and a huge grin (it was hard to find another pic where I was smiling), so it was pretty obvious that I was into guns.
As an aside, I definitely recommend that site, as it is completely free, and I had enough success to meet to woman I amm going to marry.
As an aside, I definitely recommend that site, as it is completely free, and I had enough success to meet to woman I amm going to marry.
SoCalShooter
Member
Umm... yeah I am still single because of it and I do not hide it and I am not very diplomatic about it when I do talk about it, its kinda a take me and the guns or you get nothing. Same way I vote "whats the position on guns?"
note* From my experiences its especially tough if you live in a state like california.
note* From my experiences its especially tough if you live in a state like california.
DigitalWarrior
Member
OK, I can see that I will be alone on this... but...
I would mention it. But not until after the date that comes after the one where you have demonstrated your proficiency in the husbandly art.
Until that time you are both lying your backside off. After that you are going to find out how many cats she has (30+), the fact that she loooooooooves unicorns, and that she really doesn't dress like that all the time. She finds out you emit noxious gases from both ends, drink beer, and play poker every other week. She is also going to find out that you take your duty to protect your loved ones and yourself more seriously than those hippie-dippy neutered boy-children she may be used to dating.
You are probably not looking to jump straight into the part of your life where you have been married for ten years, you are looking for someone to have fun with and POSSIBLY MAYBE consider other things later. If you are looking for Ms Right out of the gate and treat the matching service like a confessional, the ladies will smell the scent of the desperate and flee like villagers in front of a visit from Genghis Kahn, so in all honesty it isn't really an option anyway.
BTW, in your profession, just call yourself a "business systems consultant" not an "IT consultant"... IT consultants are weenies, addicted to pron, unshaven, and played D&D way too far into adulthood (see definitions for "Beardo" and "Basement Dweller"). Business Systems consultants drive a Lexus and take business trips to exotic locations to have meeting with various boards.
DigitalWarrior
IT Consultant
Happily married for nearly a Decade
I would mention it. But not until after the date that comes after the one where you have demonstrated your proficiency in the husbandly art.
Until that time you are both lying your backside off. After that you are going to find out how many cats she has (30+), the fact that she loooooooooves unicorns, and that she really doesn't dress like that all the time. She finds out you emit noxious gases from both ends, drink beer, and play poker every other week. She is also going to find out that you take your duty to protect your loved ones and yourself more seriously than those hippie-dippy neutered boy-children she may be used to dating.
You are probably not looking to jump straight into the part of your life where you have been married for ten years, you are looking for someone to have fun with and POSSIBLY MAYBE consider other things later. If you are looking for Ms Right out of the gate and treat the matching service like a confessional, the ladies will smell the scent of the desperate and flee like villagers in front of a visit from Genghis Kahn, so in all honesty it isn't really an option anyway.
BTW, in your profession, just call yourself a "business systems consultant" not an "IT consultant"... IT consultants are weenies, addicted to pron, unshaven, and played D&D way too far into adulthood (see definitions for "Beardo" and "Basement Dweller"). Business Systems consultants drive a Lexus and take business trips to exotic locations to have meeting with various boards.
DigitalWarrior
IT Consultant
Happily married for nearly a Decade
DigitalWarrior
Member
Dude, are you serious?
Now start thinking like a young man and ask yourself this question again. I have a partial list of things that might be answers:
long legs, long neck, long hair, pretty face, big set of [ummm... personalities], engages in the marital art like a pair of wet crazed badgers in in a sack, tattoos of things that couldn't be described in a family friendly forum, hair the color of sunset on distant planets.
rockinrussky
Member
I got a girl I started seeing recently and I wasn't sure at first about how to bring up the firearms issue either. I hope this experience helps: Everything else was going well but I just hadn't brought up the 2nd amendment. One day I mentioned I was going to a shooting range. She wasn't surprised at all, like I was telling her about any other normal thing... a bit thereafter I found out a mutual friend had told her long ago about my 'gun collection.'
Point of the story? Sometimes its less of an issue than you may think. Its best to be up front about it and it may surprise you for the better. In my case she even wants me to take her to the range sometime. That, and for other reasons I think she's a keeper
Point of the story? Sometimes its less of an issue than you may think. Its best to be up front about it and it may surprise you for the better. In my case she even wants me to take her to the range sometime. That, and for other reasons I think she's a keeper
florida1098
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- Joined
- Jan 27, 2008
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- 66
I say if you need advise about a girlfriend from people you don't know and post your problem on the web for anyone to see it should come down to the following, just in my opinion
you should not own a gun
you should not have a girlfriend
alot of people would probably be safer if you did not have a gun
just my opinion
you should not own a gun
you should not have a girlfriend
alot of people would probably be safer if you did not have a gun
just my opinion
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