Dating girlfriends and guns

[jason10mm]

You guys are missing the point. If he can afford a 100 gun collection and can do it without living on Ramen or living in the ghetto then I think he should be more than capable of appeasing a womans dislike of firearms by replacing it with her greed for compressed carbon

NEVER reveal how many guns you have! This way, should you get married, any new gun can be passed off as an old one you "drug out from the back of the safe"

 

[.44 magnuholic]

Just tell her you're a hunter.

When my girlfriend asks, "Why do you have so many guns?" my response is usually "Cause baby, I like to hunt and I need these for snakes, these for coyotes, that for deer, those 3 for dove and quail, that one for squirrels etc"

 

[The Unknown User]

I asked something like this a while back, and the general consensus was not to treat firearms ownership as a bad thing.

If it's important to you, and is an important aspect of your being, it's just as important as everything else in your life, right?

So, don't treat firearms as a subject that is so drastically different than others.

If she's worth it, she'll understand.

 

[MarcusWendt]

I'd say this is a second or third date kind of topic. I mean, how much do you really tell them up front? How many partners you've had? Size? Medical history?

Let them get to know you a little first. They may not like guns, but find you to be mature and responsible enough to have them and it won't bother them. On the other hand some guy you've never met telling you he loves to shoot his guns.... well, it's just TMI right up front in my opinion.

Of course, I did exactly the opposite. I told a gal up front, and she then commented that she used to carry a 10mm on duty. She had my at 10MM

 

[Maia007]

I would advise you to just be yourself. Period. If who you are is really completely about guns and collecting....and little else.... fine. Tell her up front. I doubt that this is the case. You are probably much more complex than that....just like everyone else. Your hobbies are not, I repeat, not, critical information. Critical information for women includes employment, past marriages, STD's, children, a very rough idea of your financial condition and a glimpse of what your dreams of the future might be.

If your fascination with guns is just a part of who you are, as it probably is, I might advise you to just let it ride for the first several or more dates. Your investment in a few dates is little and, by now, you should be man enough to handle a bit of rejection.....for any reason....if it needs to happen. And if that happens, you are not "wasting your time", but practicing towards perfection.

After you are acquainted, either she digs you or she does not. If she does not, simply give it up. If she does, then and only then will you have a feel for if it is worthwhile proceeding into the more intimate and personal territories.

I was single (and very, very much in the game) until age 45. (So I am not one of these guys that married his high school honey at age 19 and claims expertise in a field that he does not in fact have.) I never disclosed everything or even close to that at the beginning. And you shouldn't either. That is simply bad practice to say nothing of rather poor strategy. Developing a relationship is all about discovery. And you have to make her want to discover more. And dribble it out in measured doses, but always remain genuine. I am not advocating secrecy, but "honesty" is not about spilling your guts and telling all. It is about being who you are and being true to your core self.

Our society has a considerable amount of gun-bias. An unfortunate fact, but a fact nonetheless. You can't afford to lower your odds by getting into any significant revelations of your politics or other controversial personal matters early on in any relationship. Prejudice is simply too prevalent. But once we know someone, our prejudices, unless very strongly held, become much less significant in our assessment of others. Dating and mating is all about manipulating the odds and keeping the volume of contact and repeat contact maximized. You can't afford to turn anyone off from the get-go, so stay away from the controversial stuff for starters. Frankly, in thirty years of dating, I had only one woman really freak out when she saw a .22 rifle in closet. I wasn't like I had a Glock in my pants or anything. But I managed to prevail in spite of that even with her, believe it or not.

My wife of fifteen years, when we met, was quite the tree-hugger, the wolf lover and even somewhat anti-gun, but not rabidly so. If she had been, I would have dumped her. But hey, she dug me for who I was and for what I was....as a person and as a man and as a good prospect husband. The content of my character, or so I would like to think. That's really the bottom line to all this, man.

I bought her a S & W revolver as a wedding present. She now packs regularly. If I can do it, so can you. And hey, maybe the wolves are worth saving.

 

[PILMAN]

My girlfriend isn't too much into guns, she doesn't like them either, not sure how it will affect our relationship, but I am keeping the guns because self defense is a number 1 priority.

 

[Dr. Tad Hussein Winslow]

Maia007 <== I like his advice the best. Except that I'd probably mention that I own guns on the 1st or 2nd date, very casually, not because I'd intentionally set out to do so, but just because it would come up in conversation to explain "what have you been doing?" - "well, I put away the guns after going to the range yesterday" or "had to work so I could get away and go hunting.", etc.

 

[typevx]

my best buddies wife won't let him buy any firearms because they have a baby in the house. I told him to tell her that is the exact reason to have firearms to protect the family, later she told him she would be afraid that if something ever happened he might shoot her... that leads me to believe she might be prone to cheating.. what do you guys think??

ironically he's been in the airforce for 4 years

 

[leadcounsel]

Yea, I pretty much mention it early on and would mention it as a hobby in my profile. If someone in my age bracket isn't interested at this point in guns, she isn't open minded, experienced, curious, or adventurous enough for me to waste my time on. There are plenty of women who have shot, hunted, own guns, etc. that there is not need for me to sift through the anti-s for one gem. Now, with that said, there are many women who just never considered the issue, or considered it but never really pursued it. I am open to helping them learn. It's no different than me meeting someone that has rock climbed.... I'd be open to it, but never have done it.

online dating is about openness and honesty about who you REALLY are, not your idea of who you want people to see you as. What is even better is if you meet someone that likes who you 'really' are. just be yourself. if you are into guns, say so.

 

[Monkeybear]

On your first date pull the car over, look her in the eye and say "I have a gun." Don't break eye-contact.

Honestly, don't do that.

I would just do what Maia007 said, be yourself. No need to make a big deal about owning firearms. It'll come up when it comes up, just like every other topic.

 

[StephenT]

I haven't checked this thread in a while, and wow I'm surprised at the many replies. Thanks for all your input (except for the one know-it-all -- you know who you are). I brought up the gun topic fairly early on, not making a big deal out of it as was suggested. Everything is just fine, and our relationship is progressing along nicely -- very nice gal.

 

[bigun454]

Well my friend I am from cajun country and i can tell you that most girls from down here will get a kick out of your collection.Also my wife was reading this with me and laughed. she said "you dont want a wimpy ass girl any way."

 

[mnw42]

We got a giggle a few months ago. On of the ROs brought his 10 y.o. daughters out to shoot. He started them out on .22 then moved them up to his M91 Mosin-Nagant. They had grins from ear to ear and ribbed some poor guy who didn't enjoy shooting the M-N nearly as much. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

 

[docwatson]

I took my wife shooting for a date. Trust me, if she can't hang with that, dump her ass and keep moving.

I made my new bride take an NRA shooting course after we got married and made it very clear that we were going to have firearms in the house. The kids subsequently are trained about weapons and go shooting with me periodically.

 

[Malamute]

Sorry if this has been covered already, but I only have a few minutes and havent read all the replies.

Stephen T, and/or anyone else interested in the subject, Plentyoffish.com is a completely free dating site, and has better opportunities to describe yourself. When you make a profile, in the interests catagory, if you put the commas and spaces in right, your interests will show as seachable items, and will give you the chance to actually search for women than list guns, shooting, hunting, target shooting (and about any variation you can think of). It works.

 

[Drizzt]

My current girlfriend and the last girl I dated before her both had a dislike of firearms, but that was because all they really knew was what they saw on TV. After explaining why I carried and gave them a bit of the facts on firearms, they both were much more open to the idea. So basically, what I am saying is that someone's initial views do not necessarily have to be a disqualifier. They might just need to hear the gospel truth for the first time.

 

[rjohnson4405]

typevx:

my best buddies wife won't let him buy any firearms because they have a baby in the house. I told him to tell her that is the exact reason to have firearms to protect the family, later she told him she would be afraid that if something ever happened he might shoot her... that leads me to believe she might be prone to cheating.. what do you guys think??

ironically he's been in the airforce for 4 years

At the very least there's a trust issue there. More than likely though she feels she has a reason to be scared of him. Either something she's doing that she knows he won't like if he finds out (like cheating) or he's had some irrational behavior in the past.

 

[fingerbanger]

+1 jason10mm that it the smartest thing i have heard all day

 

[3KillerBs]

Quote:
my best buddies wife won't let him buy any firearms because they have a baby in the house. I told him to tell her that is the exact reason to have firearms to protect the family, later she told him she would be afraid that if something ever happened he might shoot her... that leads me to believe she might be prone to cheating.. what do you guys think??

ironically he's been in the airforce for 4 years
At the very least there's a trust issue there. More than likely though she feels she has a reason to be scared of him. Either something she's doing that she knows he won't like if he finds out (like cheating) or he's had some irrational behavior in the past.

Far more likely that she's simply ignorant about guns and has heard too many stories about little kids shooting themselves. We mothers always fear for our kids' safety and such fears are not always rational.

And, perhaps, the man in question is the sort of slob who misses the hamper with the dirty clothes, doesn't hang up wet towels, leaves his shaving hair in the sink, etc. If a man is sloppy and careless in his habits with his clothing, tools, etc. its hard for a woman to believe that he won't be sloppy and careless with his gun storage as well.

A firm commitment to redundant safety measures is necessary when there are kids around. Education for both parties there may be the answer.

 

[3KillerBs]

Quote:
my best buddies wife won't let him buy any firearms because they have a baby in the house. I told him to tell her that is the exact reason to have firearms to protect the family, later she told him she would be afraid that if something ever happened he might shoot her... that leads me to believe she might be prone to cheating.. what do you guys think??

ironically he's been in the airforce for 4 years
At the very least there's a trust issue there. More than likely though she feels she has a reason to be scared of him. Either something she's doing that she knows he won't like if he finds out (like cheating) or he's had some irrational behavior in the past.

Far more likely that she's simply ignorant about guns and has heard too many stories about little kids shooting themselves. We mothers always fear for our kids' safety and such fears are not always rational.

And, perhaps, the man in question is the sort of slob who misses the hamper with the dirty clothes, doesn't hang up wet towels, leaves his shaving hair in the sink, etc. If a man is sloppy and careless in his habits with his clothing, tools, etc. its hard for a woman to believe that he won't be sloppy and careless with his gun storage as well.

A firm commitment to redundant safety measures is necessary when there are kids around. Education for both parties there may be the answer.

 

[Shadowangel]

When I got with my girlfriend, she HATED guns. I mean, she was a complete anti. I talked her into shooting pistols with me, and she conceded that pistols were okay...but rifles? Rifles were evil. Multiple range trips and a year later, and she's getting her CCW and saving up for her own AR. She asks ME if we can go to the range. Definitely a keeper.

 

[woof]

I think as a rule. more women are put off by hunting than by gunds per se. So if you don't hunt open with, I'm not into hunting. Then follow ith - but I do collect guns and like to target shoot.

 

[Prod]

Honestly, I wouldn't put anything about it in your profile. You profile should be designed to get you the most hits possible. After you get those hits, then you can narrow it down by being yourself. Don't hide it, but at the same time don't fill her inbox with pictures of your gun collection. Let it come up in passing. I think that a lot of girls would appreciate firearms and shooting if someone were to take the time to show them that guns are not as evil as liberal politicians and hippies claim.

 

[AR-15 Rep]

I tried just about everything...Then I met the one in a billion, a female Marine officer, she has the looks, the brains, and isn't afraid of anything... all that wrapped into the most beautifull woman I ever met...

 

[mindwip]

My last 3 girlfriends and 2 friends who are girls i took them shooting for the first time. I have never had a problem with girls and guns because i date girls who are smart and can make up there own minds about what is right or not. And it so happens that guns are right

After taking some one shooting its easier to explain about guns as they seem more real and less evil.