Dating girlfriends and guns

[ColinthePilot]

The last girl i dated wasn't anti-gun, but she had never shot one either. she thought my hobby was kinda weird till i took her out to the range, after about 3-4 months of dating. She had a great time with my .22. I didn't make a shooter out of her, but she definitely understood why I like shooting. Unfortunately, it didn't work for other reasons.
Interestingly enough, even growing up in the People's Republic of Maryland, I don't have many anti friends, and I don't think I've ever had a girlfriend who was anti. Unless you count the Irish girls my friends and I went on a few dates with during their trip to the States. We didn't have a chance to go shooting, but we had them over one night and brought out the arsenal and just touching a real firearm was enough to...well its not really high road

 

[archigos]

The last girl I dated was one of my references on my pistol/ccw permit application.
In fact, the fact that I owned my Hi-Point provided the impetus for us dating.

 

[stevelyn]

Umm... yeah I am still single because of it and I do not hide it and I am not very diplomatic about it when I do talk about it, its kinda a take me and the guns or you get nothing. Same way I vote "whats the position on guns?"

That's my attitude too. I never found a woman that couldn't be replaced.

 

[koja48]

Never dated a gun . . . we either "clicked" immediately & hooked-up forever more or it just didn't happen. I'm single & don't entertain this particular problem, but I wish you all the best . . .

 

[brighamr]

Bring it up as part of your profile. Some good looking USPSA shooter might see it, and you'll be very happy sharing your interests!

 

[savetheclaypigeons]

honestly you may have more problems than guns if you are asking people on the internet how to talk to women you have met on the internet

 

[MyRoad]

This was one of my biggest fears, partly since my growing gun 'collection' was a factor in my divorce, and partly because for what ever reasons, intellectually and spiritually I find myself in the company of woman that are classically stereotyped as Liberals.

Since the divorce I've dated three woman: (1) a massage therapist and "energy healer" (it doesn't get any more "New Age" than that), (2) a Buddhist (/pacifist), and (3) a Fulbright Scholarship grad student -- and NONE of them had a problem with my guns. They were the only three women I attempted to date, so the gun issue has not been an issue so far. In some cases it took a bit of careful framing and explaining, but given ample context they all accepted them. Two of the three were completely OK with my carrying, one encouraged it.

In every case with dating, I let them get to know me first, and introduced the guns around that stage in getting to know them where I felt we had some potential, and it was time to go full disclosure -- and I usually sense that within the first three or so "dates". In terms of keeping a low profile as a gun owner (my preference), I don't tell anyone I own guns unless I know them at least somewhat.

I've also had several friends that I thought were screaming liberals (both men and women) and none of them have given me a hard time about owning guns. I suppose anyone who had a mind so closed that they couldn't accept that part of me, would never get to the level of what I'd consider a "friend".

Edit/Addition... and although I wish it was otherwise, I met all of them on the Internet.

 

[3fgburner]

When someone starts in on me about guns, and how gun people are dangerous / whackos / nuts, I've got a pretty good response.

"Since 1993, I've passed around 30 background checks. How about you?"

 

[krs]

TTT......too fun to leave in the mire.

 

[tribbles]

Indeed.

When my girlfriend asks, "Why do you have so many guns?" my response is usually "Cause baby, I like to hunt and I need these for snakes, these for coyotes, that for deer, those 3 for dove and quail, that one for squirrels etc"

Heck, my wife asked me that a long time ago. I responded by asking her, "Why do you have so many shoes?" She never bothered me about it again.

 

[MGshaggy]

I work and spend 90% of my time in NYC. Needless to say, finding a chick who's into shooting is almost impossible here. Even finding one that can tolerate it can be tough, but I always do fine. My last GF did not like guns at all, but we got along great; she didn't like guns and I didn't like visiting her parents. Lets put it this way - deals were made.

I have two big rules for dealing with that situation which I'll share with you:

Rule #1: let her get to know you better before you hit her with the 'gun-thing'. When I start dating a girl, I simply don't bring up the subject until she's had a chance to know me better and vice-versa. If you start off your first date with a heated discussion about guns & the 2nd amendment, you 're more likely to turn her off than if she's had a chance to get to know you and see for herself you're not some sort of cammo-clad lunatic who wants to hand out loaded Tec-9s at the local elementary school. If she sees you as a respectable, polite, and responsible guy, she'll be more likely to view your gun ownership in the same light. The more she knows you and sees you as the kind of guy she wants to be with, the more she has to reconsider any bad feelings she may have about the guns.

Rule #2: If she doesn't like guns, just agree to respectfully disagree on the subject, and enjoy it without her. When you have to address it, approach the issue with a "to each their own" attitude. Lets be honest here - you probably don't want to go shopping for shoes and purses with her, so accept the fact that she may not enjoy guns or want to go shooting with you. As long as she can accept the fact that its part of your life and you're not giving it up, she doesn't need to participate or enjoy it. Heck, make a joke of it ("Look, I promise not to take you shooting if you promise not to take me shoe shopping") Life isn't just about guns; there's plenty of other good stuff to enjoy together; art, movies, music, food, travel, etc. Focus on other things you DO have in common.

 

[Big Daddy Grim]

I always get it worse for the huntin than the guns so go figure.

 

[benEzra]

(after all, most women do not like guns)

Media stereotype. Something like a third of U.S. gun owners are women, and almost all of the women I know personally (eastern NC) either own guns, or are glad their spouse/significant other does.

I think there are fewer female enthusiasts, just as there are fewer female car enthusiasts, and that may be a socially ingrained gender-role thing (holdover from 1950's neo-Victorianism would be my armchair-anthropological view), but there are a LOT of women who shoot casually and quite a few who shoot avidly.

 

[archigos]

I think I'm lucky - my girlfriend is insisting that once we move to a free state she needs to get her concealed carry permit and that her gun collection will rival mine. I smell a competition

 

[bonza]

After dating a girl for a while, a friend of mine would take them out rabbit shooting. If they got that glassy-eyed blood-lust look he would end the relationship pronto.
He went through a few before he found the girl he married, but he sleeps better at night!!

 

[russcoh]

I had a girlfriend who really didn't like guns, didn't even want to see mine. The girl I ended up marrying doesn't mind the loaded 45 on the nightstand, and even has done a little shooting herself. I'd say wait until the 3rd date or so; if that scares them away, probably not right for you anyway!

 

[yonse]

Some girls may actually like the fact that you like to shoot. I met a girl in a class I was taking and I mentioned in conversation that I enjoyed going shooting. Anyways, she became a lot more interested in me after I told her that and the first thing we did together outside of the classroom was to go to the firing range. We have gotten a lot closer since then and she has actually confessed to me that the fact that I carry a gun (legally) is "sexy". Her father was a cop though, so she grew up around both guns and around responsible gun owners.

 

[mordechaianiliewicz]

It's all about your personality, and whether you click with the woman or not. You can own enough guns to arm a brigade, and if she likes you, and is all about you, guns will not be an issue.

I have dated women who were so much about guns, they had a couple already. One girl (this was a rather serious relationship) became more or less a characiture of a survivalist through her connection to me.

I also dated... we'll call it that... an incredibly anti girl. Didn't have a problem there, mainly because she was into me, and I was, atleast physically, into her. Granted, I don't know how far that really ever could have gotten past just a physical relationship though.

Well, on second thought, let me rephrase this, it depends on what you are looking for. If you want a serious, up to and including marriage type relationship, I suggest you let them know, fairly early as in 3 or 4 dates in that you are a shooter. And, try to see what they think.

If you are treating dating as a hobby, or something to do on weekends, don't bother. If you just want fun, don't bother.

But, me myself, in a serious relationship, I'd want if not a serious shooter, a woman who both understands, and appreciates it's a big part of who I am.

If you are the type of collector and shooter you say you are, you are going to require a woman who not only accepts, or tolerates your gun ownership, but on some level or another, appreciates it as well.

 

[Odd Job]

My last GF did not like guns at all, but we got along great; she didn't like guns and I didn't like visiting her parents. Lets put it this way - deals were made.

That's the answer right there.
Unless the woman is rabidly against having any firearms or ammo in the house, deals can be made.

However, don't bring it up early on. Sound her out gently.

Do you want to know the secret of how to get women interested in shooting without them feeling pressurized to do so?
I have found the secret, and it has been a sure fire winner with girlfriends and female co-workers alike.

Here is the secret:



Yep. Chicks dig that
There has never been a time when a woman baulked at having a go with the crossbow. It may be because they start out under the impression that this must be a gentleman's weapon as it is quiet and has no 'kick.' Maybe it has a kind of chivalrous Robin Hood type of aura about it. Whatever the reason, they go for it. It doesn't matter that only one of them has ever been able to load it, they have all enjoyed it even though I do the loading. Once they've used it on the first trip to the range, I bring up the subject of accuracy and recoil. I explain that they should try the .22 rifle because of reduced recoil compared to the crossbow, and much better accuracy. From there it is usually no problem, at least for them to get comfortable with the .22 rifle.

After that I don't press them to go to the range again. I wait for them to ask

 

[shaka]

Not to sound paranoid or anything...

Not to sound paranoid or anything, but even a nice, level-headed women that you got along with just fine until the break-up can turn remarkably vindictive. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

A word to the wise: One telephone call to the police and you will see your entire 100-gun collection seized. Cops just love that. They will keep the good ones, sell the rest and put the cash in their pockets. All in the name of protecting the "victim" from a "potential predator." (Emphasis on the word "potential," since you haven't actually done anything.)

Private property rights? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You are soooooo naive! What did you think this was, a free country or something? They're heroes, protecting the innocent women and children - how could you possibly suggest that these valient public servants might be motivated even slightly by all that cash that they're stuffing in their pockets? Why, to even think such a thing is unpatriotic!

Trust me: You really want to rent a mini-storage unit for your gun collection, take one at a time out when you go shooting, and don't tell her where the storage unit is. If she questions how you keep coming up with different guns, tell her that you are borrowing them from your (unnamed) buddies. In reality, she will never ask. She notices what gun you're shooting with the same rapt attention that you display towards what shoes she's wearing - in other words, she doesn't notice.

I dated a girl (a Cajun, by the way) who said that she liked shooting, went with me to the public range and seemed to enjoy herself there. She would even pull targets for me at the 500-yard range when I was practicing for tactical matches.

Then we broke up. "But you said - sob! - that you loved me!!!!!!!" she screamed, dishes flying. It wasn't a pleasant scene.

A year after we broke up, at the time that Mohammed and his little buddy were murdering people in Washington, I got a call from the FBI. She had told them that I was bragging about being this killer! A remarkable claim considering that I hadn't spoken to her for a year. And it was obviously her - the Bureau had information that only she could have told them.

Fortunately, I had abundant evidence that I was in Phoenix, AZ every day of this time period and the Agent I spoke to was cool about it. However, it he'd wanted to be an *******, he could have seized some competition-grade rifles worth thousands of dollars.

Postscript: I have a Frequently Asked Questions section on my website and, while most of the questions are of a more technical nature, I will include this one since it's gotten so much attention here at the High Road.

 

[Officers'Wife]

Hi Odd Job,

Any chance I can go out with the crossbow and leave you at home?

Selena

 

[Dr. Tad Hussein Winslow]

Put "I collect firearms and sport shoot" in the description of hobbies. No sense having an ugly surprise somewhere down the road. 'swhat I do, at least.

Yep, that's what I'd do - be right upfront (for the most part). Weed out the riff-raff from the get-go!

 

[mljdeckard]

I have a child in speech therapy, and we have a teacher come into our house a couple of times a month. I have a "Molon Labe!" sticker on my VW, and yesterday she asked me what it means. I dropped her jaw when I told her, but she's ok.

I had one girlfriend who was anti, it turned out to be a LOT more wrong with her than that. My wife shoots as well as I do.

 

[Odd Job]

Hi Odd Job,
Any chance I can go out with the crossbow and leave you at home?

lolz

 

[nyggis]

The first date with my wonderful Carolina was actually at the range. She is a army reservist, so I challenged her for a competion with my Swedish Mauser and Winchester 1300. She agreed, we had a wonderful day, and we have been a couple since.

Don´t hide your personality. Show who you are on the first date! Otherwise you will encounter problems later, and discover that your relationship is based on a big lie...

Good luck!