drunk girlfriend

[guajiro]

I have been checking this site out for a month or so and really admire how everyone is so helpfull and supportive of each other. Also, when a good hard kick in the a** is needed there is no short supply. It is because of the latter that I am making my first post as I feel that it is what I might need.

I live with my girlfriend and keep a few of my firearms in easily accesable areas through out the house. She knows where every one of them are and I wouldnt have it any other way.

Since we never have children in the house or for that matter many visitors I have not yet purchased a safe. What happened tonight might change my mind.

Tonight I stayed home while my girlfriend went to her friends house (just up the street) for a little dinner and drinking. In the past when she has had a little to much to drink she usually just throws up and quietly goes to sleep.

Well, after her two girlfriends walked her home (I am using "walked" loosley) she started picking a fight with them. Things got pretty crazy and at one point I had to seperate them. She kept going from angry to happy and back. At this level of intoxication I would have long since have passed out but she just kept going.

After a few minutes I thought to myself " She might be drunk enough to grab a gun just to show it off". It was then that I told her friends they had to leave, I gathered all my firearms and locked them in the trunk of my car. I then got her to bed and waited untill she finally went to sleep.

Aside from the obvious issue of her loss of self controll while drinking.(which I will fully address tomorrow) What should a responsible gun owner take from this? Or would a responsible gun owner have a safe and the only key?

 

[poet]

You know the adage about guns and alcohol. Buy a safe, for obvious reasons, but she will need access incase the need for self protection in the home ever arises. I think that you handled the situation properly.

 

[plexreticle]

Get some new friends.

 

[BridgeWalker]

She "usually" just throws up and goes to sleep? If your girlfriend is drinking to the point of sickness frequently enough that there is a regular routine, I strongly suggest you consider not having her as a girlfriend. At the very least, time for a very serious talk about alcohol and its use.

As for the gun, yeah, lock 'em up. If I safe is not available right away, don't forgot there are all kinds of trigger lock solutions. Of course locking them all up means a lack of a defensive weapon readily available.

 

[btg3]

Since you did not limit the discussion, I feel there are 3 issues to address:
a) guns and alcohol
b) drunkeness
c) fornication
Best wishes.

 

[joebogey]

c) fornication

Huh? Did I miss somethin?
He asked for advice, not judgment.

 

[Duncaninfrance]

1) They are YOUR guns - YOU are the only one responsible for them and any problems that are caused by them.
2) As you should already know what the answers to your questions are I wonder if you should be in possession of any weapons at all!
3) As guns don't kill people - people kill people, you should be isolating one from the other by locking them up

WELL - YOU DID ASK

 

[Dave P]

I hope you are smart enough not to let her become more than a "girlfriend". That's a life time of heartbreak and problems.

And I hope you don't have similar drinking issues.

 

[Working Man]

Here is an excerpt from my handbook of firearms and training that I made
to help with the training of new shooters.

Acknowledgment of responsibility:

1) Your firearm, YOU are responsible for it 24 x 7, No excuses!

A) YOU are responsible for maintaining your proficiency with it,
understanding it mechanically, and keeping it properly maintained.
B) If you loan it to someone (advised against) YOU are responsible
for the actions taken with it.
C) You must know where it's and the condition it is in at all times.
D) If it's not being used (shot/carried/cleaned) YOU are responsible
to make sure it's not available to anyone other than yourself.

YOU are responsible for your firearm 100% of the time, No exceptions!

Get a combination safe with dial lock. If she gets that drunk I doubt she will
remember the safe combination or be able to dial it in correctly. Even then
you could lock the dial... but then again you may not always be there.

At the very least, time for a very serious talk about alcohol and its use.

If this happens with frequency you really do need to have that talk. She is
slowly killing herself by doing that and may kill others much faster.

Sooner or later if (she continues on this way) you will get fed-up with it all,
just don't get in too deep before it happens. She could end up costing you a
great deal.

 

[Hokkmike]

joebogy...Sometimes advice requires a little judgment. In my humble opinion (not being sarcastic here) your attack on btg3 is unwarranted. Or perhaps you are judging him? Perhaps a PM might have been a better vehicle for expressing both of your views?

Peace!

 

[Rich K]

There are bigger problems here than a need for a safe. As others have sadi, they are YOUR guns, YOU aare responsible for them.
If she is drinking to the point of vomiting on a regular basis, it is time for a serious discussion regarding the alchohol abuse.
Having been married to an alchoholic, I can tell you until she wants to get help and is serious, nothing you say or do will make any difference to her.
I sent mine packing. I would respectfully suggest you do the same, as it will be nothing but trouble ahead for you, especially if she gets hold of one of your guns. My .02.

 

[Alexfubar]

Lock ALL guns that aren't on your belt.

We don't know your girlfriend , but committing yourself to a problem drinker is committing yourself to trouble.

 

[jahwarrior]

"she usually just throws up and quietly goes to sleep...."

from this statement,i'm assuming she does it regularly. get drunk, i mean. the best advice i can give is to cut her loose. i've gone through the alcoholic girlfriend thing, and believe me when i tell you: unless she gets help, things will get much worse. how long do think it'll be before she starts picking fights with you? or better yet, if you can't trust her around a gun, how far can you really trust her? this relationship sounds like it's already in the crapper; do yourself a favor and flush, already....

 

[Marlin 45 carbine]

when she begins to slip around behind yer back to drink then you best be gettin' away from her. far away.

 

[StuckInMA]

Or would a responsible gun owner have a safe and the only key?

Or a combination that only you know.

If you've ever had to second guess your decision to allow access to your firearms by another person this is the right answer. It doesn't matter whether it's a girlfriend or a roommate.

In this situation it sounds like you are also running the risk of her hurting you or herself.

Just my opinion, but your guns should always have a safe place to stay whether there are kids/visitors in the home or not. Doesn't mean they always have to be locked away but it should at least be an option.

 

[Biker]

What's wrong with fornication?

Bker

 

[joebogey]

Hokkmike

joebogy...Sometimes advice requires a little judgment.

In the case of "Guns and alcohol" yes. In the case of "drunkenness" maybe. But the fornication thing was way off base and has nothing to do with the other.
I don't mean to step on toes, but I stand by my post.

 

[Geno]

If this thread is to survive, I strongly suggest that no attacks happen. Attack ideas...fine, but not people. Recall that anything posted here becomes searchable history. I won't scream troll quite yet, but I'm close.

Doc2005

 

[AndyC]

You need a new girlfriend - or at the very least, get rid of the current one pronto.

 

[Troutman]

<<After a few minutes I thought to myself " She might be drunk enough to grab a gun just to show it off">>

You said MIGHT.
Just because some people drink, even heavily, and become angry, does not mean their going to pull a gun. Even if a person was not drinking, in said situation (disputes)…Would they pull a gun, if one was available? Depends on their character?
Only you know if said person would do that. Good to play it safe. Even if they weren’t drinking, play it safe.
Drinking is no excuse, for what one does.

 

[P95loser]

guajiro,

You have no doubt seen a lot of very personal advise on this thread. I don't know if you were looking for the relationship advise or not, but I am under the firm belief that alcohol and guns mix just as bad as alcohol and car keys.
That is all I will say on that matter.

As far as the firearms, my sugestion would be lock up all of the guns, at least until your girlfriend commits to abstaining from heavy drinking (any drinking at all would be better). If you cannot afford a safe, use an extra closet and go to lowes and buy an entry doorknob that locks and put it on the closet door. Now you have a tempory locked area that only you have the key for. Then I would buy a drawer style gunsafe with a keypad entry to it (they can be bought shipped for about $50 bucks on ebay). Us that to hold your one handgun in for protection.

I would keep all of the firearms locked up for at least 2 months from the last point of intoxication. She has to prove to you she will not relapse.

 

[revolverman357]

Time for a new girlfriend. Plenty around to choose from.

 

[wheelgunslinger]

You have your guns accessible for a reason- your protection.
You know she was out drinking and knew the guns were out. And you probably know that stuff happens when people drink.
So, you have the choice of either locking up the guns from now on since you've seen her get mean drunk and know she can go there, or you have the choice of giving her an ultimatum.
Don't wait until someone gets shot (you?) to think critically and act with certainty.
If she wants to drink heavily, that's her business. You're the one with the firearms and the responsibility for them.
You know your situation and know what the right thing to do is.
There are a lot of fish in the sea and a lot of gun safes for sale. Take your pick.

 

[Library Guy]

Guajiro,

You've been getting some pretty tough advice here. I'm sorry but I'm only going to add to it.

When your girlfriend drinks, she is no longer in control of herself. As such, she must be kept away from things that can cause harm in the hands of a drunk. Some of these things include firearms, automobiles, matches, children, and knives.

So yeah, you need to isolate your guns from your girlfriend.

You might consider isolating booze from your girlfriend and if that actually worked what a better world this would be..

No matter how much you love her, you must recognize that there is no such thing as a responsible drunk. Do not assume that she will grow out this.

More grim words:

Two years ago, I watched my mother die from the effects of alcoholism. My father left her long ago because of her drinking. I did not. We each had a choice to make.

So do you.

Living with an alcoholic hurts like hell. It hurts like hell and you can't save them.

Amo,

LG Roy

 

[Hokkmike]

joebogy...I can respect your view. I guess when somebody comes to me for advice and I see things that contribute to the larger problem I feel it appropriate to express them as btg3 did. But you are right in that unsought advice is also unwelcome and therefore not always productive.