First date and bringing up your hobby

[Greenmachin3]

If she's outdoorsy that's a big plus. When it comes to the topic of firearms, it's kind of like sex. Communication makes it easier, funner, better.

Just ask how she feels about hunting and firearms. Don't pretend to be someone you aren't. If she doesn't have an opinion, has a neutral opinion or positive opinion, then make a range date. I have found that women who have never fired a gun, even if they are slightly against them, have a blast when they go to the range for the first time as long as you do your part to make it fun. Let her do most of the shooting.

 

[19-3Ben]

I wouldn't lie, but if you have ever shot a gun in competition, it might be a way to ease into it. When there is a competition or some "sporting purpose" it softens it vs. the tactic of "I carry a gun so I can shoot a bad guy who tries to hurt me," which is a bit on the harsh side!

Or you can tell a story about a time you went to the rang with a buddy or something. These are things that will allow you to gauge her reaction without telling her that you are a gun guy, or that you carry.

 

[Arkansas Paul]

When there is a competition or some "sporting purpose" it softens it vs. the tactic of "I carry a gun so I can shoot a bad guy who tries to hurt me," which is a bit on the harsh side!

I certainly wouldn't approach it that I carry so I can shoot a bad guy. How about I carry because I'm a law abiding citizen and it's my constitutional right.
I guess I'm getting old because I refuse to do the song and dance to defend something that doesn't need defending. I'm into guns. You don't like it, bye.
God I hope I'm never single again.

 

[jim243]

If she still digs you...then great.
If not...then she wasn't the right one for you anyways.

^^^^This.

Jim

 

[MtnCreek]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/dearabby_form.html

 

[hardluk1]

My first date was to a shooting range for a girl that had never touched a firearm then dinner and a walk on the beach. 36 years later still working out and everyone in the family CC and grew up shooters. Now the girls grew up nowing how to shot at a young age and there hubbys brought in to a family of shooters to learn the sport and all now CC.

If you are a person that lives around firearms , hunts or recreational shooting to carry'n get it into the conversation early on as a simple trip to the range so no one is waisting the others time.

Does anyone really want to spend time arguing about firearms with someone agaist them??

 

[dak0ta]

Thanks for the insight. I'm just going to say I target shoot and shoot clays. She fishes I know, which I like too.

 

[kayak-man]

I'm probably the last guy that should be giving any input on dating, but...

I don't think a couple of previous posters have really good points about the difference between saying "I enjoy shooting" and "I'm a gun nut, here, let me show you some pictures of the new Night Hawk I ordered for when I go train with Chris Costa this summer..."*

Usually, I bring it up slowly, both with girls and coworkers - "Yea, I was talking to friend of mine who works for DHS" or "I went to the range with some of my cop buddies" and leave it at that.

Just my .02$

Chris

* IF you say that, and get a positive response, you know you found "the one"

 

[12many]

J-bar is right. Ddon't talk much about yourself and don't bring up guns/politics/abortion or any other controversial subject.

If I knew how much my wife spends on shoes on the first date, there may not have been a second date.

 

[buck460XVR]

Hi,

Just wondering what you guys say to the girl when you tell them about your shooting hobby. How you describe it and if you ask them to come try it out straight up, or test the waters first to see their response. I'm in the generally Liberal Pacific NW if that helps with female demographics haha.

Insight appreciated.

Altho I haven't dated for a long....long time, it was something that came up quite quickly when the conversation of what you like to do came up. It's no different than meeting new platonic friends. If you want the relationship to go past the point of casual acquaintances, it's hard to hide those things in life you enjoy the most from them......and why should you? Any real relationship or friendship is based on mutual interests, and similar values. No sense prolonging a situation that's going nowhere fast anyways.

 

[Certaindeaf]

Start yapping about "your little pony", hello-kitty or the kardashians and if she's interested, walk away. no guns involved

 

[AlexanderA]

It's a matter of security. On the first date, you don't know much about the person. In my day, I dated a number of crazy women (although it only became apparent gradually that they were crazy). If you have a gun collection, you don't want people like that knowing about it. What if your date has a felony record? Or, what if she has friends that have felony records? What about drug use? I would say to play things close to the vest until you know a lot more about this person.

 

[goon]

I just became acquainted with a young woman who is fiercely liberal. She learned about my views when she saw the NRA membership letter on my coffee table. A conversation has ensued off and on about this over the past couple weeks in which I've been able to share my views. I've learned that although there is a stigma associated with gun owners to some extent, it is possible to break that and demonstrate on a one-on-one basis that we are people, not howling demons bent on slaughter.
My situation isn't a dating thing, but I've made a new friend in spite of our divergent views.
Some folks on the left are a lot more willing to listen than you might think - don't miss the chance when it comes up.

 

[bannockburn]

On a first date, no but then again I would probably be using one of those online dating services, like match.com or eharmony.com, to weed out the non-desirable and/or the incompatible ones.

 

[itchy1]

The only advice I would offer is that you shouldn't wait too long before you discuss it. If it is to be a deal breaker issue, the sooner you discover it, the better. The longer you wait to to discuss the topic, the more it will seem like you were hiding something.

 

[ZeSpectre]

I had a couple of plaques on the wall from competitions. If it got far enough for a girl to come over to my place it tended to be pretty obvious right away.

When I was younger I wondered <briefly> if I should tone it down, now that I'm older I'm VERY glad that I didn't because living with someone who disdains your interests/hobbies is a special kind of hell!

 

[GermanGirl]

In my opinion, you should say it in an appropriate situation, when talking about interests, for example. But don't hide your fascination, because you wouldn't get along with someone not accepting your hobbys. That's a part of your personality and you should be proud of it. When you are talking with enthusiasm about a topic, the other person will notice that it's important to you and you have the chance to explain why if she is skeptic.
I don't think that it's wise to let her discover your interest by chance. She would wonder why you never talked about it. Better stick proudly to your attitude.



I wish there would be more gun addicted guys here in Germany...
By the way: is it more difficult for a girl to inform a guy that she loves guns? Hmm

 

[Torian]

I already know if she is into guns by the first date. I could date a liberal, but not a gun-hating one. That's one sacrifice I'm not willing to make.

 

[mdauben]

I'd treat it pretty much like any other interest. Don't make a big deal of it. As your are getting to know each other and you discuss things you each like to do, just mention it the same way your would any other hobby or passtime.

 

[22-rimfire]

I personally would not mention it at first, but if you view her as marriage material then I would mention it. Simply say you are going to the shooting range on Saturday and wonder if she is interested in going along. It just depends on how important her views on that subject would be to you.

 

[buck460XVR]

If you have a gun collection, you don't want people like that knowing about it. What if your date has a felony record? Or, what if she has friends that have felony records? What about drug use? I would say to play things close to the vest until you know a lot more about this person.

One can certainly discuss their interest in the shooting sports without divulging the extent of their gun collection and the location and combination to their gun safe. If it's a one night stand or the last dog hung at bar time, be a player and say what you must to make it happen. But if it's a long term relationship you're after you may as well see some cards before you go "all in".

 

[Ryanxia]

When she asks what I like to do I generally answer; "paintball, bowling, hunting and target shooting, shoot pool that sort of thing." I just kind of be vague on the first date unless she asks more about it, then I slowly lead her into my world....

 

[Havok7416]

By the way: is it more difficult for a girl to inform a guy that she loves guns? Hmm

That would be a big NO!

 

[JackBurtonJr]

Start yapping about "your little pony", hello-kitty or the kardashians and if she's interested, walk away. no guns involved

Hey, my girls grew up on my little pony and Hello Kitty and still adore them... and they can probably out shoot most of the guys on this topic. Don't prejudge.

 

[missyoak]

I've found that if I say anything about guns to a guy who doesn't share this interest, we don't end up going out again. I've gotten laughter because they think I'm joking about going to the range on Saturday and I've been given a serious speech about how "gun-nuts" are everywhere now. It varies widely here in West Virginia.