My carry weapon was outed tonight

[romeo212000]

I was at Bible Study tonight and I guess my shirt came up while I was bent over. Usually I am much more cautious but I just was not thinking this time as this is an environment I was very comfortable in. A girl who I have known for years asked me if that was a gun and I tried to play it off but no dice. It was at a friends house. She asked my why I was carrying it and looked at me as though I was a moron. I said I carry it everywhere for protection and that we are not safe just beacause we are having bible study. So she gets up and I can hear her telling the girl who owns the house (another friend of mine) about it and them talking about how stupid it is. Later when everyone who saw were back in the room I poiltely asked that they not tell anyone about it. I let them know I am a concealed carry permit holder and I was doing nothing wrong but that there is no need to advertise it. The girl who owned the house said its not a huge deal now but she is not really comfortable with it. I explained that guns were inantimate objects that only respond to what a person tells them to do and that in good hands they are very safe and do not just "go off". I then asked her what she was not comfortable with. She could not give me a straight answer but said she just was not comfortable with it. I said she is entitled to her opinion. The conversation left off there as with so many people still being in the house it was not a good time for a lengthy discussion.

She never said anything about asking me to not carry it in her house but I fear that is what is coming. I talked to my wife about it and we agreed that if that happened that we would not go over there anymore at all. Do you guys feel I handled this correctly? How would you recommend I have handled it, and how would you handle it if asked not to carry it at the house anymore?

 

[Brian Dale]

Her house, her rules. I wouldn't burn any bridges, though.

 

[MedWheeler]

I can't say that that was the proper venue for educating her about 2A rights and self-defense, and all, because I wasn't there. However, if any property owner (or lessee) were to ask me not to carry into their domicile, I would respect their wishes without hesitation. It is her right, as much as it is mine to ask visitors not to smoke inside. Their aren't too many houses I go to in which I don't feel safe, but if there were, I would consider exercising my right to refrain from going there unarmed if asked to do so.

 

[Hardtarget]

If they ask...invite them to your home...and point out that it is "carry optional". And they can bring brownies, you'll have the ice cream ready. Don't let it slide if they start a fuss. Remind them of the two church shootings in Colorado (?) last year. You are not playing with it and you would like to get home when the evening is over. Bad guys don't care where you've been all evening.

Mark.

 

[romeo212000]

My thought is anything can happen anywhere. If she asks me not to carry there I will respect her wishes by not going there. Not saying I would carry there if she asked me not to. Just would not go there anymore. And neither would my wife. Its nice to have a wife who backs me up.

 

[GrandMoffBrandon]

I agree. If she asks you to not bring your gun, stop attending Bible studies in her home. I don’t go anywhere my gun is not welcome, because there is nowhere that can be considered “safe.” You can, of course, be polite in declining to attend future Bible studies at her house.

 

[FCFC]

Do you guys feel I handled this correctly? How would you recommend I have handled it, and how would you handle it if asked not to carry it at the house anymore?

You handled it fine. Except for the letting the girl (and several other people?) see the gun part. That part you did dreadfully on.

Concealed means, um, concealed.

Resolve the issue with the homeowner. If she says no gun--then no gun.

Oh, and don't expect the people to "not tell anyone about it." That's asking way too much.

 

[myrockfight]

I was dating a girl who told everyone and their mother that I carried. Needless to say, I stopped dating her. To me it had as much to do with common sense as discretion and trust. However, a year and a half after we broke up, she asked if she could go to a gun show with me to pick out her own gun for carrying.

So there may be an upside to this. But I would face the problem and do the best I can to convince them that it isn't "stupid."

I commonly resort to the, "If you had the ability to save someone you loved from being raped or murdered, would you do it? Because I have had the training and possess the mental aptitude necessary to responsibly carry; I would never forgive myself if anything like that happened. It isn't for everyone and I can respect that, but it is nice when people respect my choices also."

It helps to approach the subject in an emotional way, because it will appeal to a lot of people who will not accept other logical arguments. It especially appeals to women's maternal instincts.

Oh, and don't expect the people to "not tell anyone about it." That's asking way too much.

How in the heck is that asking way too much?! I don't think it is too much to ask. Especially assuming he knows these people personally.

 

[romeo212000]

Of course. She has been a friend of mine for years and I would not burn any bridges with her. The problem is both of these girls views are so molded by the left wing media that that they are not "comfotable" with it but cannot state why. One of these girls is the same one who said she was freaked out a number of years ago when she found a folding knife under her friends pillow which was placed there for self protection. When i stated it was obviously there for self protection and asked her what problem she had with a girl who wanted to protect herself. She looked at me like a deer in lights and said "its called letting your dad protect you!" I asked her if her dad was around 24/7? She had no response. This is the same mindset that gives people a false sense of security because they can dial 911.

 

[GrandMoffBrandon]

She looked at me like a deer in lights and said "its called letting your dad protect you!"

I'd have to ask her, "with what?" It is really sad to see how the antigun crowd has convinced so many people that guns are “bad” and “unsafe.”

 

[ColinthePilot]

I very much understand the idea of respecting the wishes of the homeowner. However, I take issue with the idea of just not going there anymore. I carry when I can. However, as a member of the military, I cannot have a gun with me at all times, like when I'm going to work. Can't keep a gun on my person or in my truck on base. I've learned that carrying a gun, while comforting, is not the end-all and be-all of my existence. When my boss, or my hosts, ask me not to carry, I will still enjoy their employment/company and refuse to let concealed carry rule my life. The truth is that we are responsible for our own protection, and I understand that fully, but I won't let paranoia rule my lifestyle.
OTOH, they hit you when you least expect it. Being comfortable somewhere doesn't mean you should let your guard down and get outed. If your friend asks you not to carry in her home, then either respect her wishes or conceal better. I once had a friend (fellow gun owner, but not a carrier) ask me if I was carrying or not. I told him if he couldn't tell then I wasn't going to tell him. I figured I was doing it right.

 

[romeo212000]

Or that guns turn people into irresponsible evil people.

 

[mnrivrat]

It's realy a personal choice matter. If you are not welcome in the home when wearing your weapon, you can either leave it in the car, leave it at home, or don't go there.

Since this has came up, and the owner of the home has made it clear she is uncomfortable with having you wear your firearm there, it is now simply a matter of you making a choice . I would not go back to the house without addressing the issue with the owner, one way or another. Perhaps she already decided not to invite you back ? Both you and the girl who own the house now have a decision to make.

 

[romeo212000]

It is not a matter of paranoia bud. People on here say they refuse to give up their rights to anyone but when you cave to something like this you are doing just that at the simplest of levels. You not being able to carry at work is an entirely different scenario. The paranoia argument sounds awfully similar to the anit-gun crowd argument.

 

[Armueller2001]

Hmm... I wonder if she's aware of the church shooting in Colorado where the dude walks in armed to the teeth and was stopped by an ordinary citizen before he had a chance to massacre a ton of people... or if she gets uneasy when she sees a gun on a police officer's hip. I don't get it... why does a trained, law abiding person having a gun make people FEEL unsafe when they're actually many times SAFER?

 

[romeo212000]

Probably not. Those things don't make it to the forefront of the national media.

 

[GrandMoffBrandon]

I don’t let paranoia control my life. I also don’t let the anti-gun crowd make me less safe because of all the folks they’ve converted to their anti-gun beliefs. I think it is a matter of caution, not paranoia.

 

[FCFC]

Too late for logical (and emotional) arguments about how great carrying a gun is for everybody everywhere all the time.

You messed up. Only thing left is to work it out with the homeowner. She holds the book on this one.

 

[romeo212000]

"Being comfortable somewhere doesn't mean you should let your guard down and get outed. If your friend asks you not to carry in her home, then either respect her wishes or conceal better."

I dont normally let my guard down. But lets be honest it has happened to almost everyone. It is usually a lesson that only needs to be learned once. Here was my lesson. Trust me. I conceal very well.

 

[FCFC]

Trust me. I conceal very well.

Not really.

 

[romeo212000]

How would you know? Yes I was outed. Yes it was an accident. I have also carried with these guys many times and never been outed before. It happens. I will take precautions to make sure it does not happen again. Don't get smart with me because of something that happens at least once to almost every permit holder in their lifetime.

 

[MinnMooney]

I believe that you handled it just as I would have. I won't go back if they asked me not to bring my weapon but there are nice ways to handle the aftermath. Hardtarget mentioned to offer to have the next meeting at your house with "carry optional" and they can bring brownies. Sounds like a very nice solution.

 

[myrockfight]

how great carrying a gun is for everybody everywhere all the time.

When did anyone say that "carrying a gun is for everybody, [sic] everywhere, [sic] all the time"?

And what makes it too late? That is the whole point of having a discussion. That is why I shared the story that I did. Everyone is not completely lost in the lack of logic which dominates anti-gun positions. Everyone is swamped by anti-gun rhetoric and most have not been presented with the facts which often convince them otherwise.

I'm not trying to be a jerk, but it is obviously never too late to discuss the finer points of the reasons to carry or own guns.

Why do you think that? Yeah. He definitely screwed up by showing his gun. But you make it sound like carrying is indefensible, if you happen to make a mistake.

 

[romeo212000]

I wanted to discuss it tonight but it simply was not the time or place. I admit I screwed up and will learn from the experience. That is the most important thing I can take from this is it not?

 

[myrockfight]

Yeah. Definitely the most important thing. I would try discussing it with them too. It definitely doesn't hurt to do so. This is exactly the place to do so and most always the time! Don't let Debbie Downer try to convince you otherwise. We post here to help find solutions and get advice, which most people are happy to do. Others just tend to make arses of themselves with smart-arse remarks. However, it could be said that they are helping us out to by letting us know exactly what kind of people they are and what type of "advice" they are willing to lend.

Good luck with your situation. Let us know how it works out.