My carry weapon was outed tonight

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Posted by FCFC:
Oh, and don't expect the people to "not tell anyone about it." That's asking way too much.
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It doesn't hurt to politely ask them not to tell anybody. Just don't be surprised when everybody and their brother end up knowing about it. ;)
 
You did the right thing. I know how you feel. It's one of those, "Oh Crap... what do I do now situations."

You did the right thing. You mentioned that the gun doesn't go off on it's own. It's in a holster, so it's not just going to "fall out". You also mentioned you have a permit- which probably requires a training course of some sort. So you could have mentioned that as well. You passed some sort of test/background check that said that you were competent enough to carry a gun in public.

If they ask that you not bring the weapon again simply say, "You were OK with me when you didn't know I had a weapon, why are you afraid now? I would never maliciously harm another person. It upsets me (make like you're going to cry here) that you think I'm a bad person... you think I'd murder people?"

If they still persist, don't press the issue any further. Leaving the bible study group is kind of a weirdo thing to do though. They'll probably talk about you behind your back and say, "Oh, then there was that weirdo Bob who left our bible group because he couldn't carry his gun." Offer to have it at your house instead.

Seriously though, you're at a bible study. How bad can you be?
 
People on here say they refuse to give up their rights to anyone but when you cave to something like this you are doing just that at the simplest of levels.
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I have to disagree with you here. Yes, you have a right to carry in public, however this is not what we are talking about. Your friend may tell you not to carry in her house. This in no way infringes on your rights. You have no right to carry in someone else's house if they don't want you to. They have the right to dictate if you carry or not in their house (heck, they can say you can only come over if you wear pink if they want to). So, it isn't about you giving up your rights. It is about them exercising their right to set the ground rules on their property. Those rules may be uninformed, arbitrary and unreasonable, but they are within their rights and they are not infringing upon yours (you can always keep it in your car). If the rules are unreasonable, you have the right (as you already discussed) to choose not to go there, but if you do go unarmed you are not giving up your rights (she isn't the government and she isn't telling you that you can't CCW in public), you are making a choice.


All that said, I think the best thing you could have done/can do is invite the homeowner and maybe the girl who saw your gun (depending upon how well you know her) to the range. I know people who have no political or philosophical problem with guns who have very strong feelings about being in the presence of guns. Heck, I recently went out with someone who claimed she was OK with gun ownership, but she just knew a gun in the house with kids would mean there would be an accident, and there is no way to really be safe, so if we worked out my guns would have to go. I know all to well that there are people like this. The media and the antis have done a good job of making everyone believe that every gun is an accident waiting to happen and every gun owner who (gasp) carries is a gun nut (with the emphasis on nut) and/or just a moment away from snapping and taking everyone out. The best way to combat this isn't trying to convince them with rational arguments, they need to gain some experience with guns to realize they aren't something to worry so much about. You may not convince them the first time you ask, but from time to time you may want to politely bring up the opportunity to give them some gun safety lessons and range time.
 
I get a lot out of Bible studies, so if I found one I really liked I definitely wouldn't leave it over not being able to carry. As for them respecting your privacy, sorry dude you're blown, do you carry in church? Do you feel that you're in the church God wants you in ( I'm going somewhere here). If this gets back to the Pastor (expect it) & he either asks if you carry in church or flat asks you not too, are you ready to leave that church over it?
 
My $0.02 would be to not go into her house if she doesn't want you to carry there, her house and rules etc. On small issues I agree with people who would tell you to give in and not carry, to "go along to get along" kind of.

I don't look at concealed carry as a little thing though. IMO if someone's "not comfortable with" me carrying legally, they're just going to have to get over it. That is one area of life where I will not give up my right just because someone else is uncomfortable with it. If it's in a public place and legal, I'll carry and too damn bad for them if they don't like it. If it's their property, then me and my CCW won't be on their property again to bother them.

If you go along to get along with these irrational and paranoid people, you're in effect saying that your right to self-defense isn't important. I wouldn't do that. It really is as simple as you're right, and they're wrong. It won't be doing them or you any favors to pretend otherwise. Giving in to them is admitting that you ARE some sort of danger to them, while it's clear to the meanest intelligence that you're not.
 
Being a gun toting Bible thumper myself, I can see both sides of the issue, especially since I OC most of the time, and most of the people in our church know that. I even OC at certain church events. So does the Pastor. ;) But that does not mean everyone else in the congregation is comfortable with guns. Some are more than they used to be, and some still aren't at all.

The first question is, are you going to be asked by the homeowner to leave your gun at home? If not, then it is a non issue. If you are asked to leave it home (or in your car), then you need to decide for yourself, which is more important to you, this particular Bible study or carrying your gun? What are the chances of being attacked in the Bible study? Are you willing to take that chance? These are questions you need to answer for your own self.

On the one hand, you may be in a very nice neighborhood. But wait, people in nice neighborhoods have home invasions too. And, there is the association of Christian activity, which really angers certain segments of the population. In some countries, you take your life in your hands by attending a Bible study, whereas you can assemble with the very same people for anything else with impunity. It ain't that way here yet, but who knows when it will arrive?

Finally, if you decide that you do not need your gun on your person in this home, prepare for those who are "uncomfortable", and who know you carry, to start challenging you in other venues. You may be approached at church, in other homes, on church activities in other places, etc. You will need to think out how you will respond in these instances. For me, there are times when I CC. I have been asked by a couple of ladies in the church,

"You don't have your gun with you, do you?"

to which I answer,

"Do you seeee a gun?" :evil:

They have to answer no, knowing full well I have it. And they usually won't ask me what is under my shirt, because they know I will ask them what color panties they are wearing, and they don't want to go there. Perhaps that is sinful of me, but it gets the point across.
 
The only other thing that I would do is talk to her and ask her if should would prefer you didn't carry in her home.

While she didn't say not to, she did say she was uncomfortable. She's still a woman and they are very good at the hint game without coming out and just saying what they want. You're a married man, you should be well aware of this.
 
you have done pretty much what i would have done. i would have explained why, apologized, finished the bible study unless asked to leave, and then i simply would have not returned.

sure, have the bible study at your house, study at the houses or places where you are welcome to carry, but skip bible study at her house.

reason 1 being, its her house and she is not comfortable with it. reason 2, it will get the point across of how strongly you feel about it.

Also take note of what a previous poster stated about being ready to make a decision if the pastor confronts you about it. And let him know why too. Mention the church shootings.
 
Just yesterday I was at a restaurant when 3 LEO's were there too. I feel most comfortable knowing they are there with 3 guns at their side. I feel the same comfort when I carry. If those women would just think it through, they would also have comfort knowing an individual is in our presence that could some day 'save the day'.
 
I would agree that it is her house, her rules, and leave the gun in the car.

But I would also invite her to a Gun Range or Gun Safety Class so that she would be more confortable if she comes across a gun.
 
"Not comfortable" was probably womanspeak for " I don't want you carrying your gun here."
In any case, I don't like to make anybody uncomfortable and stay away from them if that seems to be the case.
 
Just yesterday I was at a restaurant when 3 LEO's were there too. I feel most comfortable knowing they are there with 3 guns at their side. I feel the same comfort when I carry. If those women would just think it through, they would also have comfort knowing an individual is in our presence that could some day 'save the day'.
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Yes. Unfortunately the OP's acquaintances are not thinking things through, instead they're expressing a reflexive antigun attitude. Normally I would go along to get along and not make waves, especially in someone else's home. The problem I have with "don't make waves" though is that it presupposes a moral equivalence between the two sides, that there's not a right or a wrong but I'll give in to you and do it your way.

With CCW, that's just flat out wrong. We've all on this board heard the various comparisons about how irrational it would be to tell her you were uncomfortable with seat belts and didn't want her to wear one in your car. Or you could ask her if having a fire extinguisher in the house means she's getting ready to burn down her house for the insurance money. Or any of a number of other arguments that would work on a thinking person, but which don't work on a knee-jerk anti-gun person.

Something as vital a human right as the right to declare "I will defend myself" if need be is important enough to NOT give in to this uninformed woman. No need to be rude, but like a child who doesn't understand some point of adult behavior, she needs to know that it is SHE who is out of line with her irrational fears, not you. You can and should be a gentleman and respect her wishes, but if it were me I would not return until she gets over her fear of the boogeyman. That's her problem, but if she disarms you to accommodate her fears, then she's made it into your problem as well.
 
I dont know that I would quit going to somebodies house because they asked you not to carry in their home. However it is ultimately your choice. You definitely need to have a sit down with the home owner and let her express her feelings and then you do the same and see where everybody stands after that.
 
While she didn't say not to, she did say she was uncomfortable. She's still a woman and they are very good at the hint game without coming out and just saying what they want. You're a married man, you should be well aware of this.
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"Not comfortable" was probably womanspeak for " I don't want you carrying your gun here."
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LOL My wifwe does this also, then she says "Vic go tell them blah blah blah" She just doesnt want to seem like the "bad guy". Which I have no problem with.

But I agree with most here saying that its their house and their rules. No Matter what that is what it comes down to. The choice is yours to say "im not comfortable with that and I will understand if that prevents me from comming tp your house anymore" or "Ok I respect the rules in your house and I will not take a firearm into your home". But in their place, its their rules and your choice to go or not.

Or you can host the next bible study at your place. Then its your rules LOL.
 
You are attending bible study class in a private home. I don`t know your location. South Carolina law says this:

SECTION 23‑31‑225. Carrying concealed weapons into residences or dwellings.

No person who holds a permit issued pursuant to Article 4, Chapter 31, Title 23 may carry a concealable weapon into the residence or dwelling place of another person without the express permission of the owner or person in legal control or possession, as appropriate. A person who violates this provision is guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction, must be fined not less than one thousand dollars or imprisoned for not more than one year, or both, at the discretion of the court and have his permit revoked for five years.
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There is a verse in Proverbs about appeasing strong wrath. It refers to a gift in secret. Not a bribe. But a personal apology with sincerety. If I were you ? You better be on guard about where you concealed carry. If she reports you to law enforcement and she can prove that you were concealed carrying in her private residence without her permission. You will lose your CWP and pay a cash fine.
 
On-topic yet so very off-topic: what is a bible study? It just caught my eye - and the OP doesn't have a location listed so I'm not sure if it's a regional thing or not. Is that like a hangout group for your church or something? Or are you actually studying the bible for a class or something?

Dope
 
Have your wife invite her and maybe the others out for a range session. Express the safety aspect. Don't use man shaped targets. Use regular bulls-eye targets or other non descript targets. Take a pizza box top and a old (no good) CD or DVD and trace several circles on the pizza box as targets. Try ballons attached to card board backers, something to make it fun. Sounds like a good opportunity to assist others become comfortable with firearms. Make sure you take at least one 22 with you if you do this. Have some of your trusted shooting buddies help out. If they don't accept the offer let them know that it is an open invitation that they can use anytime. Let them choose the time frame when they are most agreeable.
 
Thanks for the input. I will respect her rules if she lays any down by not coming to her house. The fact is I will not give up my right to protect myself because someone else "feels" uncomfortable with it(feels is the key word as it is based completely on irrational emotion). You want to hear something real interesting. Her father is the pastor. Now my wife and i have known him and his family since we were born practically. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure he would not confront me about it. If he did I would mention the church shootings and make the point that just because we are on the house of God does not mean we are safe from the evils of this world. There are also a few other very respected men in the church that carry (one or two being deacons) and I would ask for their help as well. I doubt it will be an issue with him though.

I made the same argument with my mother the other day. She always sort of questioned why I carry everywhere I go, even to the office. Just last week there was a shooting in one of our company offices in New York. Problem was, no one can carry in New York therefore no one could stop it. I mentioned that and said that is why I carry everywhere. She thought for a minute and nodded her head and said, "You know, that is true." Funny how when something really hits home for someone how it all comes together.
 
"On-topic yet so very off-topic: what is a bible study? It just caught my eye - and the OP doesn't have a location listed so I'm not sure if it's a regional thing or not. Is that like a hangout group for your church or something? Or are you actually studying the bible for a class or something?

Dope"

It is a group of us from our church that get together every tuesday night at her house. We choose a topic or book every few weeks to study and we read and discuss all aspects of it.

And by the way. I do not have to have expressed permission to carry on someone else's property. I must leave if they ask and if I do not or if I return I can be arrested for trespassing but that is all.
 
Well, what happened happened. You can't do anything about it.

Like someone mentioned earlier, there may be an upside to this. You introduced these people to the idea of concealed carry, something that they never really thought of before. At first, I must say that even I thought that it was a little paranoid, but with some pondering and research, I fully understand why someone would want to do this. The same thing may happen to them.

What you did was plant a seed in their mind, and hopefully they'll use that to realize the good aspects of civilian gun ownership.
 
I don't think you need any help. Obviously, it is unfortunate that the gun showed, but it did, and that's done. I'm sorry to see that some people are discussing carrying in a house when the owner asks you not to, because the owner has NOT asked you not to, and you already said that if she does, you won't. Your wife supports you; great! You have already gently tried to reason with some of the individuals involved. A few posters have made suggestions how you might do that further.

It seems to me that you're doing just fine. However, I will note that now that I'm 63, I have less time, and certainly less energy, for people who have blocks to simple reasoning. I never look for an argument, and often avoid one, but if confronted with stupidity awaiting an answer, I usually give a short and correct one. I don't spend a lot of time discussing simple things with stupid people. Simple people, yes. Stupid people, no. I enjoy time spent at the gun club, because I encounter very few stupid people there.

You can decide for yourself whether my age is an indication of wisdom or of being crotchety. I am in good physical condition, having neither high blood pressure nor ulcers.
 
The fact is I will not give up my right to protect myself because someone else "feels" uncomfortable with it(feels is the key word as it is based completely on irrational emotion).
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Maybe. That is also a polite way of saying "I ***really*** don't want to have this conversation right now, so shut up." From her point of view, your gun was fixing to become the topic of the evening instead of whatever chapter y'all were studying. If you seemed to her to be ramping up for a full-out RKBA sermon, maybe she just wanted you to go pass the peanuts and get back on topic for the night.

Springmom
 
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