Parents Say I am Not Welcome Thanksgiving Because I have Guns.. What To Do??

[Claude Clay]

you have rights...so do they

you seem a little more equal in how you view your rights than theirs

id not miss a family meeting when so many of you are so scattered and the coming together's are so few.

as to having so much work to do...what value is the work in and of itself?
occasionally some of the net proceeds should fund some fun
or for what do you work?

 

[Teachu2]

When someone is so insecure that they can't survive a weekend in Mom and Dad's home without carrying, that is just sad.

The number of hours you work (which are by no means extraordinary, BTW) has nothing to do with this. Your RKBA doesn't, either. One or both of your parents doesn't want guns at THEIR HOUSE - and you are too self-absorbed to accept it. Part of being an adult is accepting that other people have rights, too. They have the right to a gun-free household. If you can't respect and honor that at 30+ years old, I'm sorry for all of you.

 

[Cosmoline]

The other way to look at it is they are so mistrustful of their own son they feel the need to have him disarmed before he crosses their threshold. I would take that very personally. Why they want to insult someone like that, and make him bow down to them is unclear to me. But to cave in and comply sets a very dangerous precedent that goes far beyond mere firearms. Heck I never carry a CCW on visits, but being instructed I couldn't by my own parents would make me seriously reevaluate what they thought of me.

occasionally some of the net proceeds should fund some fun

Holidays with family are fun? I suppose gnawing your own toe off would have its moments, as well.

 

[MtnCreek]

My in-law’s always had Thanksgiving with us. Father in law suddenly passed a few years ago. Hospice was called in this week to care for my mother in law. Visit your parents and enjoy your time together. There are no guarantees of ‘next year’.

 

[B-LazyS]

I don't often post, but this strikes very close to home for me.

I have been in a similar situation with my own family. As you did, I sought a compromise by offering to unload my gun, which compromise was accepted. Had it not been, I would not have attended the event in question.

I agree with the "Their house, their rules" point of view. Your parents have the right to regulate what they allow in their home, as do you.

That said, to me the issue is larger than simply going unarmed for an evening. It comes down to choice and respect for another's beliefs. Your parents have chosen to believe that firearms are unnecessary and dangerous. You obviously believe otherwise, but have honored your parents and demonstrated your respect for their beliefs by seeking a mutually acceptable solution to the disagreement. On the other hand, your parents have chosen not to consider that your own beliefs, while different from theirs, are nevertheless valid and important to you. Thus they have chosen to reject outright your proposed compromise. So now, do you choose to allow someone else's beliefs to supersede your own?

For my part, I choose not to go where my beliefs - religious, political, or cultural, social, or otherwise - are not thought worthy of consideration and respect.

 

[Newb223]

Just leave it in the car. It is near by, and chances are nothing is going to happen anyway. What is the point in causing drama for one day? Just go, have a good time, leave the stuff in the car and take off the next day. Not a hard decision.

 

[xsquidgator]

I take issue with the people who say "why would you need a gun at Thansgiving" or "just put the gun away and let it go". I suppose you'd do the same thing if your parents had an irrational fear of seat belts, or of fire extinguishers, or any other piece of safety equipment?
When was the last time you needed a seat belt anyway, what are you, paranoid? Are you looking or itching to get into an accident? What the hell is your problem anyway, wearing a seatbelt that could choke you or trap you in your car. You know your mother is afraid of seat belts, what's the matter with you?

I would not throw her irrational fear in her face or argue it with her, but if giving in were truly the only way to see my Mom for Thanksgiving, I just might grit and bear and not wear a seatbelt to humor her. Otherwise, I'd find a way to wear my seatbelt and have her come meet me somewhere else than her house, so my dirty seatbelt wouldn't corrupt her precious bodily fluids.

 

[Hacker15E]

However, anyone who voted Obama this time knowingly voted to cripple my business and harm my twin daughter's future. That is unacceptable, and unfortunately includes my entire family except for my little sister.

YGBSM.

It isn't up to you to 'forgive' anyone for how they voted. Someone's God-given choice at the ballot box isn't for you to pass judgment on.

Your rationale for why that is -- about "crippling your business", something that has yet to occur -- is about as logical as me holding anyone who voted for Bush in 2000 or 2004 personally responsible for my buddies who have been killed in Iraq or Afghanistan.

 

[zxcvbob]

Has anyone said "lock the gun up in the car" yet?

 

[Teachu2]

The other way to look at it is they are so mistrustful of their own son they feel the need to have him disarmed before he crosses their threshold. I would take that very personally. Why they want to insult someone like that, and make him bow down to them is unclear to me. But to cave in and comply sets a very dangerous precedent that goes far beyond mere firearms. Heck I never carry a CCW on visits, but being instructed I couldn't by my own parents would make me seriously reevaluate what they thought of me.

Sure - if they allow others to carry, but that doesn't appear to be the case.

How about if his parents don't allow profanity? First Amendment, you know...
How about if they want a sober Thankgiving, and ban alcohol? Prohibition ended...
Or if their unmarried daughter wants to bring her lowlife boyfriend and sleep together, contrary to the parents religous beliefs? Legal in all 50 states...
Or if they ask him to park on the street because his car leaks oil?
Or not to bring his dogs?
Or not walk around their house naked?
Or not wear his Darth Vader costume to Thanksgiving dinner?

Twenty years or less from now, the OP will be wishing he hadn't forced this issue. Inconsiderate ******* gun owners do nothing to help promote gun rights, and he's certainly not helping his family situation.

 

[MCMXI]

Good grief!! This is like an episode of Oprah! This thread reminds me of why I much prefer dogs over people.

 

[bobinoregon]

There's got to be way more to this.... The parents live there day in and day out without firearms in the house so it must be a reasonably safe neighborhood. I can't imagine feeling so insecure to be without a gun that I would give up a chance to be with my parents for thanksgiving. Both mine are gone and I would give up every gun I own to have them in my life again.

 

[Skribs]

On the other hand, your parents have chosen not to consider that your own beliefs, while different from theirs, are nevertheless valid and important to you.

Oh I hate when family does that.

Teachu, with all of those things, you have to decide if its more important to follow your lifestyle or put it on hold a bit for your parents.

The parents live there day in and day out without firearms in the house so it must be a reasonably safe neighborhood.

"Safe neighborhoods" are a myth. They are always just a drive away from "unsafe neighborhoods", and usually have more valuables to steal and people who are less experienced at fighting back.

 

[Cosmoline]

Or if their unmarried daughter wants to bring her lowlife boyfriend and sleep together, contrary to the parents religous beliefs?

What if it's a commandment from mom and dad to leave your SO of 10 years in the car or at a motel because they think you should be married, or married in the family religion? Things get a lot dicier because that's a very personal attack. As is insisting their son disarm himself because they think he's going to kill them.

 

[timhernandez]

This isn't about Guns, as many have said. This is about control. This is about being responsible for your own decisions.

Only you can put perspective to where spending time with your family fits in your personal situation.

If they are above carrying your firearm, you have your answer.
If they are below, do what you need to do.

Getting justification from strangers on the InterWebs for your choices will never work as the people here all come with their own preconceptions and personal experiences that help shape their opinions.

Their roads, while similar in many cases, are not your roads.

Choose your path and walk it.

 

[Lucifer_Sam]

I haven't read through all the posts, and this might have been said, but this doesn't really sound like a gun issue, it sounds like a "mom getting her way issue". I could be wrong, but I believe I've known plenty of people like her, and I would refuse mainly so she didn't get her way, not because I was taking a stand on an issue. People like that need to be reminded that they can't control everybody and force them to do what they want, IMO.

Now, if she was a genuinely sweet little old lady that really was just nervous about having guns in the house, that would be another story, and I'd probably comply.

 

[zdc1775]

I believe in being a man and standing up for my beliefs regardless. Tell them that you are not comfortable being unarmed. As such you will respect their wishes and not be attending any future family gatherings at their house unless they are willing to allow you to carry. Offer to host Thanksgiving and any other holidays you would usually vist them for. If possible even offer to pay for or help pay for them to come to you. If for some reason you are unable to change venues for this year ask if you could go to a restraunt instead and pay for your own hotel room. If they are not willing to do this then politely tell them that you do respect and love them but you will be unable to attend.

 

[Robert]

Oh enough. THR is not a family therapy forum.