zxcvbob
Member
or Stewie Griffin.
Bad parent because I have guns in the house, please help
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searcher451
Member
While you can't pick your family, you can sure pick your friends.
My kids 17-20 and 22 years old, 2 boys and a girl, have fired and handled guns. The oldest boy which is the 22 year old has bought his own and also gotten me one for Christmas in the past. The bottom line is because they've handled them and seen them all of their lives, they aren't astonished and overly excited when they see one and not likely to grab it up and accidently fire it. Plus they know how to handle them.
It takes all kinds of people to make up this world we live in. People like us that like firearms and people that don't and then the people that are in between that may or may not have ever owned one or handled one and are sort of neutral or not really concerned.
The anti's usually, but not always can't be swayed and the neutrals can usually see both sides and are generally open to discussion.
We know where we stand.
Some person comes over to my house and presumes that they can tell me how to run my household won't be invited back without apologizing first.
The woman in the OP is a meddling idiot. She didn't even see a gun. She just heard a discussion about shooting at a later date and came to her own stupid conclusion and started spouting the same tired old talking points that we hear all of the time. She's one of those that probably believes it when some one says " I picked up the gun and it just went off ".
It takes all kinds of people to make up this world we live in. People like us that like firearms and people that don't and then the people that are in between that may or may not have ever owned one or handled one and are sort of neutral or not really concerned.
The anti's usually, but not always can't be swayed and the neutrals can usually see both sides and are generally open to discussion.
We know where we stand.
Some person comes over to my house and presumes that they can tell me how to run my household won't be invited back without apologizing first.
The woman in the OP is a meddling idiot. She didn't even see a gun. She just heard a discussion about shooting at a later date and came to her own stupid conclusion and started spouting the same tired old talking points that we hear all of the time. She's one of those that probably believes it when some one says " I picked up the gun and it just went off ".
Deanimator
Member
Nah, that's more of a Brian speech.
zxcvbob
Member
You're right of course. I was just thinking of the accent.
Dnaltrop
Member
Had this happen at Christmas when my 7 year old got her first Red Ryder and a relative started acting like she had been handed a box of grenades... fretting, droning on and on about how horrible guns were, and no amount of soothing talk would get them to close their mouth long enough to open their ears.
My response was to verbally cut them off at the knees, project slightly and state that my family has been shooting since the Mayflower, I've been shooting since age 4, the arms are locked, the kids are taught to get an adult if they ever see an unattended gun, and if your response to even the mention of a gun is absolute panic, you're going to be the person most at risk if you have to deal with one for the simple lack of knowledge. Is there anything you'd like to ask that might help you cease fearing us?
I'll be the first to admit that I suffer from a lack of Tact at a genetic level, but unthinking fear makes my teeth grind.
Most anti people I've met never go beyond "why do you need a gun?" and the answer "to protect my family" is usually enough to end the thread of the conversation on good terms, and often enough, many Anti's, are just people who haven't really shot before, and they don't know how to approach the situation. (My own wife, now a gun owner herself for example.)
My response was to verbally cut them off at the knees, project slightly and state that my family has been shooting since the Mayflower, I've been shooting since age 4, the arms are locked, the kids are taught to get an adult if they ever see an unattended gun, and if your response to even the mention of a gun is absolute panic, you're going to be the person most at risk if you have to deal with one for the simple lack of knowledge. Is there anything you'd like to ask that might help you cease fearing us?
I'll be the first to admit that I suffer from a lack of Tact at a genetic level, but unthinking fear makes my teeth grind.
Most anti people I've met never go beyond "why do you need a gun?" and the answer "to protect my family" is usually enough to end the thread of the conversation on good terms, and often enough, many Anti's, are just people who haven't really shot before, and they don't know how to approach the situation. (My own wife, now a gun owner herself for example.)
redbullitt
Member
Invite her shooting with you and your son and whoever else wants to go. If she declines, then let her be obstinate and close minded about it. As was said, it is your home after all. She is a guest and can rant somewhere else.
Harsh, but some people just don't understand boundaries.
My little brother is 14 now and has been shooting one thing or another since he was 4ish. Started with a slingshot, and has gotten disturbingly good with it lol. He has managed to not shoot me or my house or anything else that doesn't need holes. Miracle right? He doesn't play with my weapons or "get into them" simply because he is used to them. They are just like Dad's tool set or power saw, nothing magical or verboten about them. There are just certain ways to use them and certain things you don't do with them. If you teach safety and they handle it, I do not see an issue, let alone one indicative of a bad parent lol.
Harsh, but some people just don't understand boundaries.
My little brother is 14 now and has been shooting one thing or another since he was 4ish. Started with a slingshot, and has gotten disturbingly good with it lol. He has managed to not shoot me or my house or anything else that doesn't need holes. Miracle right? He doesn't play with my weapons or "get into them" simply because he is used to them. They are just like Dad's tool set or power saw, nothing magical or verboten about them. There are just certain ways to use them and certain things you don't do with them. If you teach safety and they handle it, I do not see an issue, let alone one indicative of a bad parent lol.
armoredman
Member
Deanimator, Charlton Heston would have done it the most justice.
My answer? I will defend my family, and those who would revile me for that are invited to pound sand.
And to those who keep saying, "lock them up!", it's a long run from one side of the house to the safe, fumble with keys, try to load, all the while Joe Crackhead and his six buddies are smashing through the back door. Mine is on me, always. My wife is armed, always. The son knows it, understands it, doesn't speak of it outside the home, and appreciates that we care enough to protect him.
The last time this was brought up, when we were exploring the option of fostering, I was informed by the officious official that I would have to sell off everything but my authorized off duty sidearm, which would have to be stored at a neighbors home. I didn't get a word out before the wife ripped this poor functionary to quivering shreds verbally, then escorted her to the door.
If what happend to the OP had happened here, the person in question would not have made it 30 minutes into her rant before being asked to leave.
Just my opinion, YMMV.
My answer? I will defend my family, and those who would revile me for that are invited to pound sand.
And to those who keep saying, "lock them up!", it's a long run from one side of the house to the safe, fumble with keys, try to load, all the while Joe Crackhead and his six buddies are smashing through the back door. Mine is on me, always. My wife is armed, always. The son knows it, understands it, doesn't speak of it outside the home, and appreciates that we care enough to protect him.
The last time this was brought up, when we were exploring the option of fostering, I was informed by the officious official that I would have to sell off everything but my authorized off duty sidearm, which would have to be stored at a neighbors home. I didn't get a word out before the wife ripped this poor functionary to quivering shreds verbally, then escorted her to the door.
If what happend to the OP had happened here, the person in question would not have made it 30 minutes into her rant before being asked to leave.
Just my opinion, YMMV.
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XxWINxX94
Member
I would say you're a bad parent if you don't have guns in the house.
You have no sure way of protecting you and your family from an instant threat, as the old saying goes, "When seconds count, the police are only minutes away"
You have no sure way of protecting you and your family from an instant threat, as the old saying goes, "When seconds count, the police are only minutes away"
I have a sister-in-law that is very overbearing and ignorant in the realm of guns and most anything else, a true Rosie O'Donnell clone pmsing 24X7X52 about anything and everything. Her husband, my brother, who at this point I believe I hit in the head one too many times growing up, does own a revolver and she has it locked up and hidden away and hates the fact he owns it. And one time her being a loud mouth nearly caused him to have to use it. As his idiot wife opened the door to their apartment to confront two obviously drunk and belligerent men. Both were headed in the door until my brother rounded the corner with his .357 magnum in hand. One continued on, but the other seeing the gun grabbed him and pulled him out of there, the whole time his ignorant wife running her mouth.
Big mouth SIL comes to my parents and routinely lays down the rules by which her girls and my other siblings can play by, one being no toy guns or playing army or cops and robbers etc... My parent do not care one bit if they play but won't confront her because she goes ballistic and they just want to keep the peace and they don't want the other siblings to confront her. At one point she actually confiscated a bunch of toy guns the other kids were playing with and said they couldn't be around her girls. Abiding by my parents wishes I gathered my kids up and we went home and when she comes around we don't.
Once we had a cookout on Independence Day at my house and the SIL from hell showed up and of course the other brothers and sister's kids were playing and playing with their toy guns and nerf guns and we had a non-verbal exchange. She had started to say something and attempt to impose her rules and I stopped and looked at her in a stern manner awaiting her next words, preparing to lower the boom on the battle-ax, we fixed eyes for about 10 seconds and she got the message and told her girls this was not their house and the other kids could play with the toys they wanted but they couldn't and she took them out in the yard to play some other games. Since then word has been sent to her don't bother coming to our house ever again, due to other actions on her part.
My advice, your house, your rules, if she can't accept that hit the road and never invite her back ever. You are the parents, not her and your wishes in your house and raising your children are absolute, unequivocal and unquestionable. And to insult you in front of guests for 30 minutes is the height of rudeness. She is a first class clod, be gone with her...
Big mouth SIL comes to my parents and routinely lays down the rules by which her girls and my other siblings can play by, one being no toy guns or playing army or cops and robbers etc... My parent do not care one bit if they play but won't confront her because she goes ballistic and they just want to keep the peace and they don't want the other siblings to confront her. At one point she actually confiscated a bunch of toy guns the other kids were playing with and said they couldn't be around her girls. Abiding by my parents wishes I gathered my kids up and we went home and when she comes around we don't.
Once we had a cookout on Independence Day at my house and the SIL from hell showed up and of course the other brothers and sister's kids were playing and playing with their toy guns and nerf guns and we had a non-verbal exchange. She had started to say something and attempt to impose her rules and I stopped and looked at her in a stern manner awaiting her next words, preparing to lower the boom on the battle-ax, we fixed eyes for about 10 seconds and she got the message and told her girls this was not their house and the other kids could play with the toys they wanted but they couldn't and she took them out in the yard to play some other games. Since then word has been sent to her don't bother coming to our house ever again, due to other actions on her part.
My advice, your house, your rules, if she can't accept that hit the road and never invite her back ever. You are the parents, not her and your wishes in your house and raising your children are absolute, unequivocal and unquestionable. And to insult you in front of guests for 30 minutes is the height of rudeness. She is a first class clod, be gone with her...
Demitrios
Member
BCCL says:
I have to absolutely agree with this. Under no circumstances what-so-ever should anyone come into your home and treat you like that. If they didn't like your way of life that much then the mature thing would've been to leave quietly, not make a scene just to be heard. If you do have to see her again, in or out of your home, I'd suggest avoiding any conversation with her at all. If approached as to why you don't want to converse with her then politely tell her that after your last encounter you've no interest having another non-rationale discussion where you were yelled at and embarrased in front of your friends and family in your own home.
As to whether or not you're a good parent, well if your kids are happy, healthy and growing up well adjusted with a healthy curiosity of life tempered by knowledge and caution then yes you're a good father. . . . or. . . . hell I'm not a dad, what do I know.
I have to absolutely agree with this. Under no circumstances what-so-ever should anyone come into your home and treat you like that. If they didn't like your way of life that much then the mature thing would've been to leave quietly, not make a scene just to be heard. If you do have to see her again, in or out of your home, I'd suggest avoiding any conversation with her at all. If approached as to why you don't want to converse with her then politely tell her that after your last encounter you've no interest having another non-rationale discussion where you were yelled at and embarrased in front of your friends and family in your own home.
As to whether or not you're a good parent, well if your kids are happy, healthy and growing up well adjusted with a healthy curiosity of life tempered by knowledge and caution then yes you're a good father. . . . or. . . . hell I'm not a dad, what do I know.
I wasn't there, I don't know the person who went off about guns, so I can't tell the OP what would be the best way to handle the situation. The person who went off may be mentally unstable, and getting in her face or ordering her out of the house may have escalated the situation into a real disturbance.
I don't broadcast that I have guns and there aren't usually any in plain sight at my house. I don't have any friends who are anti-gun either, though I have some relatives like that. I don't talk to my anti relatives about guns and they don't lecture me because there will never be a meeting of the minds on that issue. They know I have guns and I know they don't like it. That subject is off-limits for conversation.
My kids are taught from a young age to respect guns and I've never had a problem with any of them acting stupid with one. It's much more likely a kid who has never been around guns would get into trouble with one than a kid who was raised around them and taught the rules. I doubt a person who feels within his or her rights to lecture me in my own home on any subject would be invited back again.
I don't broadcast that I have guns and there aren't usually any in plain sight at my house. I don't have any friends who are anti-gun either, though I have some relatives like that. I don't talk to my anti relatives about guns and they don't lecture me because there will never be a meeting of the minds on that issue. They know I have guns and I know they don't like it. That subject is off-limits for conversation.
My kids are taught from a young age to respect guns and I've never had a problem with any of them acting stupid with one. It's much more likely a kid who has never been around guns would get into trouble with one than a kid who was raised around them and taught the rules. I doubt a person who feels within his or her rights to lecture me in my own home on any subject would be invited back again.
Carl N. Brown
Member
Discussed the opening post with my wife and she said her response would be to tell the lady to get the hades out of her house. No debate, no point counter-point editorializing, just go straight to eviction.
Deltaboy1984
Member
Now that is over, ask the Wife to never have that woman over to your home again. She was way over the line. Myself I would have never put up with at 30 min speech. After about 2 minutes I would have jumped in and said That is the way is here at my house and if you don't like it you know where the door is; otherwise be quite and enjoy the rest of the party.
THe Dove
BOOMER SOONER!!!
Maybe you should greet her at the door next time (if there is a next time) with a 45 strapped on your hip. Be sure to welcome her with a big ole "HOWDY, WON'T YOU COME IN?"
Might work!!!!
The Dove
Might work!!!!
The Dove
Wow, that woman would soil herself if she saw the M1 Garand hanging on my wall, and my ammo collection right below it! The WWII ammo can with the 250 round belt of .30-06 hanging out of it might even prove fatal to [her].
That reminds me, I need to get some hooks to hang the M1 Carbine up with.....
That reminds me, I need to get some hooks to hang the M1 Carbine up with.....
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sniper5
Member
My wife wouldn't speak to her parents for 8 YEARS because they pulled something similar with me. Our relationship is MUCH more civil now. I won't put up with people treating my wife that way and she won't put up with people treating me that way.
Guests are always welcome as long as they act like guests.
Guests are always welcome as long as they act like guests.
Salty1
Member
I would purchase her a membership to the NRA and hopefully she would read "Armed Citizen"
Arkansas Paul
Member
I won't lie and say I read all these posts, but here's my take.
You need to man up and take charge of your house. I'd have told her to carry her a$$ out of my house and anyone who didn't like it could follow her.
I may get flamed, but hey, you asked for opinions. There's mine.
AP
You need to man up and take charge of your house. I'd have told her to carry her a$$ out of my house and anyone who didn't like it could follow her.
I may get flamed, but hey, you asked for opinions. There's mine.
AP
If she had called me a horrible parent
in front of friends and family, I would not have asked her to leave. I would have told her that she is no longer welcome in my home and that she should leave immediately. You do not come into my house and insult me and get away with it, unless you are my wife, of course.
in front of friends and family, I would not have asked her to leave. I would have told her that she is no longer welcome in my home and that she should leave immediately. You do not come into my house and insult me and get away with it, unless you are my wife, of course.
rbernie
Contributing Member
I think that we all agree that the behavior of the guest was poor - I see no profit in continuing to find novel ways to insult her or those of her ilk.
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