Parents Say I am Not Welcome Thanksgiving Because I have Guns.. What To Do??

[ForumSurfer]

Their property, their rules. It's one of those crazy property rights ideals that we hold very near and dear to our heart as Americans.

That being said, I'd have it locked up in the car with no one the wiser. I'm not traveling by car during the holidays unarmed, sorry.

I would probably apologize if I had insisted that I bring it, but I would never do that because my Libertarian leaning ways would not allow me to impose my will.

I'd also calmly and rationally attempt to debate them no matter how irrational or upset they get if the subject is broached. You catch more flies with honey. I'm also the type to never give up on someone because people of all ages shift viewpoints, religious affiliations and political parties. You'll never be there to make that happen if you aren't talking with them. There is a huge difference between talking with them and talking to/at them. I know from experience with people in my past trying to tell me about their political/religious beliefs. No one won me over by talking at me with the usual party line crap...it took people who genuinely engaged me in conversation after I made some self evaluations.

 

[ConstitutionCowboy]

I can't bear to read this whole thread, so let me just be frank. If I repeat something someone else has said, it bears repeating:

Buy(or bag) your own turkey. You don't need to put your life in jeopardy just because someone else doesn't believe in preserving their own life.

Invite them over to your house where they have neither the right nor the power to disarm you.

Woody

If you want security, buy a gun. If you want longevity, learn how to use it. If you want freedom, carry it. B.E.Wood

 

[rooter]

Tell them you are homosexual and either your domestic partner or your gun are coming to the festivities, their choice.

 

[SammyIamToday]

I wouldn't go, but that's me. I can see both sides of this one. Do what makes you happy.

I'd regret if I "caved." That's individual before someone gets their feelings hurt by it.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I727 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Skribs]

While I don't support the gun control cause, I do support the rights of individuals to determine whether or not people carry on their property. If you want to disarm law-abiding citizens, that's fine, but understand you're going to make the gun owners want to go somewhere else. Normally this applies to commercial locations, but in your case you have to make a decision: follow the rules and keep it in the car or not go. That's one I really can't make for you. Luckily, I've gotten my parents (who aren't antis, but didn't become gun owners until I already had a couple) into guns, so I don't have to worry about it.

In the end, it boils down to what is more important to you: your family or your principles. I'm not trying to guilt you into choosing one or the other; they are both very important things.

Tell them you are homosexual and either your domestic partner or your gun are coming to the festivities, their choice.

If they're liberals, it will be the partner hands down. Bad bluff.

 

[shaggy430]

I guess I got lucky. Both my parents carry.

 

[jim243]

"It is time for your parents to grow up". As both a son and a father I can see both points of view. However, at some point in time parents have to understand that their children are no longer children (I have kids older than you) and respect the views of those that they have brought up. (hard thing for parents to do)

Without mutual respect family functions only turn into family fights. If it is your family's wish not to have firearms at their home, then fine, that is their call. But if they can not respect and trust you as an adult, then you do not need to put yourself into that trick bag of conflict. That is really the true question. It was their call as to this disagreement between the two of you. If your mother can not see this, then you are better off spending the Holidays with your friends and enjoying this time of year.

Do not keep beating youself up over factors and family you have no control over.

Enjoy yourself and stand by your principals.
Jim

 

[MrDig]

Both my parents are gone now, Dad in 1995, Mom in 2004, I would gladly lock my gun in my vehicle to spend another holiday with them.

 

[Mike Sr.]

Your parents....

Had the same type of Family living across from the street from me.

He was a Full bird she was full of ****.....

She was so full of **** he finally used his brains...she got gone!

He got the kids.....

--------------------------------

The gun issue is not the issue...it's your belief system that is not respected! THEY COULD HAVE SAID COME FOR THE HOLIDAYS BUT LEAVE WEAPONS IN THE CAR.....

BUT THEY DIDN'T.....wonder why?

Wonder what conditions they put on your siblings?


There could be any number of issues:

-your wife
-the ethnic background of your wife...
-your religious choice.....

This is a bad argument you parents have hung their coat upon!

Ignore their stoopid rant...go and leave the firepower outta sight in your car.
Rest assure when you get there they will show even more respect for you when they praise the election results........

Sounds like mom lives live in La-la-land...

 

[DAP90]

When it comes to family people seem to forget that they are just people you know. Some are to be cherished and some aren’t worth the time of day. You have to decide for yourself who falls where and then act accordingly.

If this is just about a gun, and you have a good relationship otherwise, leave the gun on the car and go enjoy the time together.

I suspect though this has little to do with guns. In which case you have to decide what kind and how much nonsense the relationship is worth.

I have walked away from some family and I have no regrets. In fact, I would say my life is better for it. In other cases I have caved to their house, their rules; again with no regrets. In others, we reached a compromise.

 

[Fotno]

Their house. Their rules. Obey and respect them and don't let politics drive a wedge between you. One day they will be gone.

^^^^This right here.

My mom was scared to death of firearms (not opposed to them in principal, just terrified of them) and nothing I could say or do would change that. Out of respect for her wishes and concerns, I never brought any of my carry guns into her home. I figured I owed her that much for the raising she gave me.

My mom is gone now. We didn't always see eye to eye on things, but I miss her with my whole heart and nothing as silly as being armed or unarmed in her home would keep me from seeing her, if there was any way I could.

 

[scaatylobo]

Stand for something - or kneel for anything

I have had simular incidents with my parents [ not gun related ] and I stood my ground with total conviction that I was correct.

I do believe that you too are totally correct,AND if you see it that way ?.

Stand your ground.

My parents came around after a bit [ and we all were about the same age as you ].

I have a few beliefs that are ones I will die for - the RTK&BA is one of those.

 

[ClickClickD'oh]

Screw em.

My mother was once rabidly anti... She took my defensive pistol course last year and loves shooting now. If they respected you as a person, they would be willing to at least rationally listen to your point of view. You don't need bad parents like you don't need a bad husband or wife. If the people you surround yourself with aren't willing to be nurturing and supportive, find new people to surround yourself with.

The logic that keeps people from dissociating with bad parents is the same logic that gets women killed by abusive husbands that they refuse to leave.

 

[X-Rap]

Would your parents not allow you to visit if your wife was not of your race, religion or worse if you were not married at all or gay? No they are probably comfortable with those things. I would ask them why they want to control that part of your life.
I am on the side of the property owners rights but it doesn't include family, if they want you there they will tolerate your gun.

All that is conditional to you being polite, safe and not in their face about packing a gun. If you want to store it on the kitchen counter, open carry, or fondle it in their presence then the deal is off IMO.

 

[scaatylobo]

Ball break a bit

Say ok to their demands.

Then get a Katana [ LARGE Japanese sword ] and wear that over.

with the full expectation that they will ask you to leave,leastwise you get a good laugh from the whole stchick.

BUT,stick to your 'guns'.

 

[mdauben]

Their house. Their rules. Obey and respect them and don't let politics drive a wedge between you. One day they will be gone.

+1

While I also obviously disagree with your parent's opinions on gun control don't let it break up your family. As someone who has lost both his parents I can assure you it isn't worth it.

 

[scaatylobo]

X-RAP is GTG imnsho .

 

[Capybara]

Simple. Leave the guns, and a bit of your pride in your car. It is your parents, your flesh and blood and they will be gone someday and you will regret this rift between you. Friction between parents and kids over ideology is as old as humans are. FWIW, I am in a similar situation, my mom is a die hard liberal, totally anti-gun and I am a gun owner. In my county, obtaining an LTC is nearly impossible so I don't yet have one but if I did, I would leave the gun at home or in the car.

 

[Godsgunman]

I am not in your situation and most my family is at least not anti-guns although my mother thinks I'm silly because I carry everywhere. My advice would be this, tell them that you love them and that you have much work to be done. Let them know that you would like to spend the time with them but it may not be feasible. Also remind them that they invited you, you did not invite yourself. They are the ones letting a silly political agenda come between your relationship with them. If they do not see what their personal agenda is causing then you can either not go or still go and leave the gun in the garage. By you first voicing your love and respect for them and then showing that YOU decided to put family first (not trying to force them to adhere to your belief), then they may become softened to the idea eventually. Lead by example. Now if you see that nothing changes and they continue to make such demands then you can decide what to do from then on.

 

[Double Naught Spy]

Parents Say I am Not Welcome Thanksgiving Because I have Guns.. What To Do??

First, get over yourself. It isn't that you are not welcome because you have guns. "Guns" is not a disease where it cannot be separated from your body. What isn't welcome in the home are the guns. You are perfectly welcome. Once you come to realize that you and your guns are not the same entity, then maybe you will understand the problem better.

That you would give up seeing your brother that you haven't seen in two years because you can't separate yourself from your guns is just plain silly. You realize that, right?

 

[oneounceload]

Their house. Their rules.

This - leave it in the car and go make nice with your family - and be thankful you have one and that they want you top be a part of it.
Of course a lot of folks don't think this way when it is a business saying it, but I guess they make exceptions for parents (you Disney folks know who you are )

 

[Skribs]

First, get over yourself. It isn't that you are not welcome because you have guns. "Guns" is not a disease where it cannot be separated from your body. What isn't welcome in the home are the guns. You are perfectly welcome. Once you come to realize that you and your guns are not the same entity, then maybe you will understand the problem better.

Many anti's consider being pro-gun to be a mental disease.

 

[Dnaltrop]

Honor thy Parents... Even if the best way is to do so from a distance.

It took nearly 23 years of being a Cold-hearted Bastard to get my folks' heads out of their keesters. (not gun related) I wish our relationships had been better, but some behaviors can't be rewarded or they never cease.

As an Adult, it was worth my own mental health to just put my hands up and move to the periphery, but I wish they hadn't tried to out Stubborn me, I walked around for the better part of a Decade with a shredded shoulder socket with no-one believing I needed medical care.

It took 2 different Cancers (one cured, and 7 years into a 20 month sentence with Multiple Myeloma) to finally alter their priorities enough to fix the underlying issues.

You have a relatively simple solution in offering to have your folks over for thanksgiving, or locking the gun up this once, but allow me to offer you the venue of Humor to gently mock them in return.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P5qJAI9BIc

Don't take the cork off the fork, Ruprecht.

My position, their house, their rules, but if they are going to make the effort of saying openly that they don't trust you, don't invite you to a house full of makeshift weapons and fret that you're carrying a pistol.

Good luck, My aunt's 60th is coming up, and she's the one who went into a full freakout over a Red Ryder. I may give her a coupon for a Free Range trip to tweak her nose.

 

[Bubbles]

I would only leave my gun in a car if I could put the car in a garage, or if I had a lockbox bolted to the car. Way too many firearms get stolen because they get left unattended in vehicles.

Otherwise, their house, their rules.

 

[Cosmoline]

If this is anything like my family, a lot of the issue is likely revolving around The Holidays. So much emotion, fear and loathing gets whipped up into a rich creamy froth in November and December. Don't go, let things settle down. Then make your OWN holiday on your OWN terms where you can see them. I do this every year for Oktoberfest, which is a nice neutral event that doesn't require stressful cooking or guilty gift exchanges. Since making that choice a decade ago things have really gotten a lot better. The folks are calmer about everything, people are much less frantic and it's a heck of a lot easier to visit friends when I'm in the lower 48. And by setting your own holiday up with your own terms, you can also control the venue. So maybe get a hotel in a neutral spot nearby that has some event going, and just announce that you'll be coming there for that every year and people are welcome to meet and do things. If they get bored with you or visa versa they can go do the event stuff. Works great. And nobody is ranting about their houses, their rules etc. Or having nervous breakdowns over bird cooking.