I go with what I have found to work
In my 9m.m. handguns, I usually shoot 9m.m. HYDRO SHOK 124 grain jhp when I want a standard weight load. I found the HYDRO SHOK will shoot in almost all modern 9m.m. pistols and it is also very accurate.
That said, when I load my pistol up for self defense, I usually use a +P or +P+ load. When I was carrying a 9m.m. on duty, we had to buy our own gun, but use service issue loads.
At first, we used REMINGTON 9m.m. 115 grain jhp for practice and WINCHESTER +P+ 115 grain jhp for our duty load.
Later we went with FEDERAL and used 9m.m. 124 grain HYDRO SHOK as our practice load and 124 grain +P+ HYDRO SHOK for carry.
I never heard a singe complaint about either +P+ load, so I still carry them.
I use either FEDERAL 124 grain HST +P or HYDRO SHOK 124 grain +P+. I still have a lot of the HYDRO SHOK, so I still carry it. It worked well enough for my agency.
My agency then standardized on the 155 grain jhp .40 S&W caliber as a replacement for our .357 magnum revolvers and the REMINGTON 125 grain jhp. There were no complaints about either round.
The recoil on both was something you noticed. The large pistols we used, the BERETTA 96D Brigadier could absorb a lot of recoil, but it has become more of an issue with the H&K P2000 pistols we now use.
We recently dropped the GLOCK 17 for the officers who were still carrying it and transitioned over to a total H&K .40 caliber force. Before that, we switched to the .40 caliber 135 grain jhp to cut down on the recoil.
The H&K has a recoil buffer on the guide rod, but it can only do so much, which is why I think we went to the 135 grain load.
Fear of the 9m.m. carriers being able to transition to the .40 caliber has been a real concern.
Jim