drunk girlfriend

[trickyasafox]

having a safe is always a good idea and worthwhile piece of mind. i'll pass no judgement on you or your girlfriend. A lot of people enjoy a few drinks now and again and there is nothing wrong with that.

its not the company you keep that makes you want a safe- its the uninvited guests that drop by while your away. as devastating as the financial burden of losing firearms can be- it pales in comparison to the knowledge of what tools can do in the improper hands.

 

[Working Man]

I don't know what amazes me more........
That folks here would respond to the post like it were legitimate.

We can not afford to take the risk not to reply if it truly is legitimate.
THR (as well as firearm owners in general) should be a community. We look out for
one another, advise one another, help one another. I would rather reply to a troll
post with an honest answer that someone in a similar situation may read than
ignore an honest request for help because the situation or poster seemed iffy.

Statements like this are troublesome to me, because they tend to elevate guns to something more than they are (inanimate tools).

It does not make them more than inanimate tools but does 2 things:

1:

But if it were a gun, ooooh, all hell is going to break loose.

Correct, legally a person will be flambéed if his/her gun is used for illegal purposes.

2: Drives home (or tries to) the point to new users, that the ownership and use of a
firearm is not only a right but a responsibility.

I will always try to error on the side of safety, especially when dealing with those new to
firearms. What I teach them will affect how they react, interact, and teach others. This is
not a game.

 

[hso]

Lock up the guns.

Move out at your first opportunity.

 

[ArfinGreebly]

I know this girl . . .

. . . who was in college once . . .

She partied, she drank, she woke up in strange places with people she didn't know.

She went to a bar one night (under 21) with friends and convinced the band that she was a talent scout and got a demo tape from them. She wound up out on the lake one weekend without adequate clothing, and insufficient gas; they ran out of gas, got becalmed out on the water; she got a hell of a sunburn and the F&G guys had to tow them in. She used to play "quarters" and do contests that involved clothing and tequila shooters.

Somehow, magically, one day it was like someone threw a switch. No more drinking. No more parties. Met a nice guy, got married, had two kids (which nearly drove her to drink) and built a career for herself.

Some of her friends didn't magically throw the switch, and some of their lives wound up in the crapper.

Let's say you asked me to predict from their college behaviour which of these people would turn out well and which would become lifelong drunks or addicts and which would simply not live through the experience.

I couldn't have done it. I guessed wrong as it was. Some of them didn't make it. Some of them are limping through life with a chronic problem. And some, like this lady, got past it and lead normal lives.

Could you correctly guess who makes the right choice?

I couldn't.

This lady's life had all the ingredients for "turns out badly," and she's fine. The yuppie kids in her crowd . . . some did, some didn't. No pattern that I could discern.

So, let's look at more of the picture.

You have this girl. She is either "going through a phase" of irresponsibility, or she is truly committed to irresponsibility for the long haul.

You have guns. And an irresponsible girl.

Sadly, with the laws of today written as they are, you can't afford to have both.

You can have guns. Or you can have an irresponsible girl.

If you insist on having both, there are a number of very unhappy outcomes that can happen to you.

One of those is that the irresponsible girl gets one of the guns and does something . . . irresponsible . . . with it.

You lose.

Another unhappy thing is the girl has a psychotic episode. This can happen with drunks. Psychotic episodes are way past "not fun" and people can get hurt.

But wait, there's more.

Psychotics lie. Even momentary psychotics lie. And, if the lie she tells is that you were violent, angry, threatening -- or even that she's simply "afraid of you 'cuz you have guns" -- then you find yourself in the shoes of someone who jokes about having a bomb while in the airport.

You lose. And, laws being what they currently are, you lose permanently.

Your life. Your choices. Your gamble.

Me? I wouldn't gamble.

 

[Chris B]

guajiro: I used to live in an apartment by myself in Baltimore. One day my brother called me and asked if he could stay with me for a month or two as my parents had kicked him out. I said yes. I knew my brother was dealing with alcoholism and drug abuse but i did not know the extent of it. I forbade him to have his friends in my apartment because I viewed them as junkies and didn't trust them. I kept an AR and an 870 for HD at the time, fully loaded with empty chambers.

One night I had a friend over to watch football. My brother was out at the time During the game I got a call from my girlfriend, she'd gotten a flat tire on her way home from work and I had to go change it. I left my friend at my house since he had no desire to go during the middle of the game. While I was changing the tire that friend called me. My brother had come home drunk. He sat down and lit a joint in MY house. When my friend told him he didn't think I would approve my brother mumbled something and went to my bedroom. He came out a minute later with my 870 in hand and made several threatening comments to my friend. My friend calmly left before my brother did anything REALLY regrettable. I went home and took my brothers key and sent him packing. People with drug, alcohol or anger issues should NEVER be able to access weapons. I had to put my own brother on the street because he can't be trusted with weapons. I have a safe but I prefer to have a weapon immediately accesible. It might be time to let the girlfriend go if she's got alcohol or anger issues. that's my $0.02.

 

[Prince Yamato]

Can I offer my two cents on this situation?

Your thread sounds like anti-BS that's been getting posted here with increasing frequency.

You have a drunk and irresponsible girlfriend. You're worried about her getting her hands on your guns, but,

She knows where every one of them are and I wouldnt have it any other way.

Why would she go to your (conveniently) unlocked guns and "show them off"? If they're not loaded, just take the guns away from her. Put trigger locks on your guns or put them in a safe.

Why did you feel it necessary to broadcast your irresponsible behavior?

You really needed to post this on a public forum?

The solutions are simple and obvious.

It sounds like you want "proof" on a public forum that college students are incapable of firearm ownership. Which is a current hot-button topic.

 

[Duncaninfrance]

guajiro!

Which all comes back to what I said in my first post here - YOU are responsible and YOU knew the right answers before you posted. If you didn't then get rid of the guns - you are not safe to own them.

Haven't seen any reply from you yet - I am interested to know what you think here!

 

[Working Man]

I have been there brother and I have paid my dues. We are just friends now.
I still pay my dues...... we are not in any legal form and will never be.....
She is my friend..... but can not bring me down. I love her as a friend.....
but we each have a life to build.... I'll bleed for her but only so much.....
It is up to you my friend.... take what you can take..... but know when to stop.

My life is mine because I walked away.

 

[jeep-2]

I'd get the girl in a rehab and find some new friends,when she thinks that it's time to go down the rd for dinner and drinks with her friends, take her with you in the other dirrection ...get all the ammo either locked up or out of her reach.

 

[curmudgeon and anarchist]

Your girlfriend may have an alcohol problem. Get a gun safe.

PS: did somebody say fornication? That's a joke, right? If it's not, I argue that someone is overstepping their bounds. Compassion and not judgment are called for here.

 

[Baba Louie]

guajiro...
In case no one has offered... welcome to THR. One helluva initial post I will say

Booze and guns, as you know, are as lethal a mix as booze and cars can be. Irresponsible behaviour simply can not be tolerated in this regards.

The firearms belong to you. They are your responsibility. You know what to do.

Do it. Today.

As to the GF and her issues with binge inebriation... I choose not to offer advice. My choices reflect my life and I prefer moderation, even limiting those moments to few and far between having lived with an alcoholic in the past and living through the train wreck it brought about. I would not wish that on anyone.

Good luck amigo.

 

[kcmarine]

Well, there's a lot to sort out here. Honestly, and I hate to say this, but I think you need to have a "come to Jesus" chat with her about her alcohol dependence and what it's doing to you and your relationship. If she can't find the will power to leave the booze, then it might be in your best interests to leave her. A gun safe would be the quick fix, but it's not going to fix the underlying problem of her intoxication. Even if the guns are locked up, there's no guarantee she won't find a key/ learn the combination/ etc, and she could also use other weapons to fight. Again, guns don't kill people, people do. The problem here isn't your guns, it's her behavior.

I don't know what your future intentions with her are, but there are a few things to consider:

1. If you plan to marry her some day, and have children, you must ask yourself if you want a woman like that to be the mother of your sons/ daughters. It's your decision to make, I'm not going further on that topic.

2. Again, if you plan to marry her, you might want to take into account her aggressive nature that was so vibrantly displayed that night. If you're going to marry her, and she gets mad at you during that time, she's going to direct that kind of aggression at YOU. This can lead to a lot of things, the least of which can be her lying about you beating her, or a nasty divorce. It goes down hill from there.

3. If you just plan on cohabitation with her, keep in mind that this could happen again. You said that she likes to get drunk fairly often. Do you want to risk that kind of incident again? If it does happen again, and she racks up a felony charge through the incident, that could introduce a whole new dimension of challenges that a gun owner would have to face. Of course, that is assuming that she gets to return home fairly soon and that you want to stay with her after she is in trouble. If it's something more serious (like her going into another one of those rages and this time killing somebody), well... I don't have to tell you what to think on that one.

Eventually, it's all up to you, but I think you need to look at this as a situation where talking to her about these problems is the best solution. Locking up the guns only eliminates one problem that can be caused by a drunk.

Good luck, and I hope the fact that I'm 16 doesn't cheapen this advice. Also, welcome to THR.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

Aside from the obvious issue of her loss of self controll while drinking.(which I will fully address tomorrow) What should a responsible gun owner take from this? Or would a responsible gun owner have a safe and the only key?

Yes. Or the combination would remain unshared.

Alcohol and firearms do NOT mix, and if the young lady does not understand and accept this, she cannot be entrusted with access to firearms.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

Aight, so being a younger guy on here, I'm going to assume y'all are younger, probably still into the partying scene a little bit. That means that coming home poop-faced enough to puke and then fall asleep happens about once a week, at least it does for me. No big deal. If that's the case, then don't listen to these guys making her seem like an alcoholic.

Sorry to burst your bubble, lad, but if you're coming home so "poop-faced" that you puke on a weekly basis, then YOU are an alcoholic, and it very much is a big deal.

Yeah, I know you'll reject that, because YOU can't be an alcoholic. That only happens to alcoholics, right, and you're not an alcoholic -- you just like to party and drink ... a lot.

You're an alcoholic.

 

[Thernlund]

Having tired of the comments not directly addressing the OP's concern RELATING TO GUNS, and not having read them...

To the OP: Welcome to the High Road. Don't let these folk run you off. Lots of people like to walk The High Road wearing stilts. Pfff. Not uncommon. Just need a thick skin here. Take it in stride.

Me and my buddies often handle guns while sipping some beers, but never beyond the point of maybe a pint and a half. So never liquored up and silly, or even impaired really. The idea that alcohol and guns don't mix is noble to be sure, but I think it misses the mark somewhat. A far more accurate statement is that intoxication and guns don't mix.

With me and my friends, when/if it appears that it will reach the point of intoxication, we, as responsible individuals with common sense, retire the weapons to the safe. Then the beer resumes its flow (if that's the order of the evening).

So to relate this to your situation, good call on the moving the guns. Sounds like you make all the right moves at the right time in that regard. Just a part of responsible gun ownership. *pats shoulder* Good job.

My advice as to your question on gun safety in such a case is to cater to your concern. If your main concern is irresponsible gun handling while in party mode, I think a lock-box or two would suffice. Even a padlock on the guns storage case would serve your purpose. A safe is best of course, but maybe not within your financial reach. Address your concerns first, then other needs later.

As to your girlfriend, *heh heh* good luck with that, bro. I feel your pain. When my wife gets rolling with her girlfriends she can be a handful. I think my wife might say the same of me.


-T.

 

[ArfinGreebly]

Original Poster

So, guajiro, tell us more of your circumstances.

In school?

Working?

Where (generally) do you live? East coast? West coast? North coast? Flyover states?

What kinds of guns are we discussing here? Rifles? Shotguns? The occasional pistol?

I'd really like to see you more engaged in this conversation.

Kind of one-sided at the moment.

You know, in the absence of facts, people begin to imagine things, and the actual situation can become quite clouded by stuff people have to make up to fill in the blanks.

So, do hurry back, and fill us in on some actual details.

It'll save us overworking our imaginations.

 

[Malamute]

Good way to wrap this up Arfin.


Without further input, it's just more of the same, and doesn't really go anywhere.

 

[gunsmith]

welcome to thr

A rabble rousing first post!

I say, at least get a lockable cabinet of some sort.
After that?
Al anon for you and AA for her

 

[RPCVYemen]

After more than a couple of decades of sobriety (after a slightly shorter period as a drunk), I know three things about alcoholism:

1. The bad news is that I am not able to determine whether or not someone else is an alcoholic.
2. The good news is that I do not need to determine whether or not someone else in an alcoholic.
3. If you are concerned about a loved one's drinking, go to Al Anon.

When I was a year sober, I could diagnose alcoholism with or without even meeting the person, and at any distance. I could even diagnose alcoholism in dead people, and tell you who was and who was not going to be able to stay sober. Somehow, in the ensuing two decades, I lost my magical powers. Now I am just drunk happy to be sober.

One of the joys of sobriety is getting into shooting again. The timing of this post is odd. Last time I went to the range, when I was driving back - it's about a 45 minute drive - the thought popped into my head, "I couldn't do this as a drunk!" Just another piece of gratitude.

Mike

 

[Soybomb]

If you seriously think she'd point a gun at someone out of anger you have a problem, if you're just playing make believe and could imagine a drunk person wanting to do so just because they're really drunk its all in your head. Being drunk isn't going to make an otherwise healthy well adjusted person shoot someone. I notice you didn't lock up the knives so I'm inclined to think you didn't really believe she was a danger but have this vision in your head of what a drunk person around a gun might be tempted to do.

Booze and guns, as you know, are as lethal a mix as booze and cars can be.

I think this illustrates how it comes down to the person in question. I don't drive drunk. I don't have to give my keys to someone if I'm going to drink, or have them taken from me. Some people do.

 

[CDignition]

Pretty interesting responses here. I would be willing to bet theres a certain percentage of our brotherhood here that ARE functional Alcoholics. Guys that chug a case of beer a day, but still manage to live a semi normal life.

I know many of these kinds of guys and I can guarantee you theres more than one here among us "Holier than thou" types I'm reading here.

Silly kids (20 somethings) that like to party aren't necessarily alcoholics. IF they get drunk once a week, at frat parties or dating scene, that isnt really an alcoholic as it is know to modern society.

Guys that drink a bottle of gin and 12 beers a day are alcoholics..Guys that have at least a six pack of beer EVERYDAY are alcoholics. I have some(2-3) beers two or three times a year.. I guess I'm an alcoholic than too, by some of our responses here.

Hell I know guys local to me that drive with a gun in the car and holding a can of Schlitz..As soon as they get off work they're drinking beers. I keep them away from me and my family, cause they're morons.

As to the OP, if his GF likes to get hammered once a week, I dont see a big problem in that... girls like to cat fight among themselves anyhow and being drunk makes it worse. Keep your gear locked up when partying and have fun...

 

[Autolycus]

Sometimes your a little paranoid. I see a lot of gunowners here on this site, and I imagine that they reflect the rest of the population. I am sure we have our share of drunks and drug addicts here. Some of you all need to chill out.

 

[Lamb of Gun]

Coming from someone whose parents are both recovering alcoholics, I would strongly advise you to put an end to the excessive drinking. Especially when she has a temper while drunk that would drive her to a gun fight.

Alcoholism is a disease. The same way peanuts taste delicious to one person they are deadly to another. There is scientific proof that alcohol affects an addicted person differently. 99% of the time an alcoholic will become depressed, violent, and unreasonable VERY easily.

Maybe I'm jumping the gun here (hehe) but the way you explained her drinking fits the description of someone with a drinking problem.

 

[Thernlund]

Alcoholism is a disease.

Although it meets the strict definition, I feel calling it so implies that it's "contracted" and makes it appear for more innocent that in actually is. "Feel bad for me. I 'caught' alcoholism." Pfff.

Alcoholism is a self-inflicted disease, and deserves to be recognized as such. To raise it to the level of true diseases like Parkinson's or Alzheimer's is disgusting to me.

I feel sympathy for alcoholics, but only if they recognized that it's their own damn fault and try to change. I feel sympathy for Parkinson's or Alzheimer's sufferers unconditionally.


-T.

EDIT: More on topic... I was thinking that even a locked file cabinet would serve the OP's purpose. You can get those at Costco or Sam's pretty cheap.

 

[25ACP]

I would rather reply to a troll
post with an honest answer that someone in a similar situation may read than
ignore an honest request for help because the situation or poster seemed iffy

Yup, It's better to let 1000 guilty men go free than to condemn 1 innocent man. I will not offer advice or judgement on your love life, or accuse your girlfriend of alcoholism, or question your right to own a firearm, but I do feel the answer to your question is obvious: If you feel that your girlfriend may pull one of your guns in anger, then you should restrict her access to them. If you fail to do so, YOU are responsible for the outcome. If this means you have to choose between your girl and your guns, then so be it.