stealthmode
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- Mar 25, 2004
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heres a reverse:
my sisters husband is that way, he does not want her to have a gun.
my sisters husband is that way, he does not want her to have a gun.
Friends' wives won't let them have guns....
- Thread starter itgoesboom
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aerod1
Member
My late father-in-law was an avid "gun guy" and had a lot of guns around the house as my wife was growing up. As a result, she thinks nothing of me having the same habits. She has guns of her own and her Texas CHL.
Our daughter, who is now married and has a family, is a Probation Officer and she has guns of her own and a Texas CHL.
It's all in the raising and education.
Jim
Our daughter, who is now married and has a family, is a Probation Officer and she has guns of her own and a Texas CHL.
It's all in the raising and education.
Jim
LiquidTension
Member
"Honey, I haven't been completely honest with you. This is my gun. I've had it for a while, locked up where it's safe. See, it's not so bad...it didn't kill anyone. Here's how it works..."
Of course, your friends should either buy used guns or put some scratches on a new one before they try this, otherwise the SOs may see through the ploy
Of course, your friends should either buy used guns or put some scratches on a new one before they try this, otherwise the SOs may see through the ploy
2nd Amendment
member
I am endlessly thankful, when I read threads like this, to be married to a woman who not only supports the 2A but generally doesn't try and control anything I do. Not because I wouldn't be able to own guns or do whatever but because, well, I'd be single before I'd be controlled.
Hey guys... here is a plea that we get back on topic. It's fun to vent about controlling spouses, etc..., but the original question was asking for help to convert a couple of people to the pro-gun position. We'd all benefit from that, especially because they are women and therefore have more instant credibility with any anti's they might meet/convert in the future. How about we assume for the moment that they aren't control freaks, just unfamiliar with guns, and therefore afraid of them.
Any more examples/suggestions on how to wean them off the fear of guns?
Any more examples/suggestions on how to wean them off the fear of guns?
Bulldozer
Member
Let's see,...
Wife One... violently anti, would not allow me to keep anything around... divorce by ireeconcilable diffferences.
Wife Two ...neutral to slight anti, did not like them in house but tolerated them, divorce by irreconcilable differences. After divorce, sought me out fopr info on how to get CCW'd and weapon selection advice.
Period of much bachelorhood.... every girl I dated got to the hobbies question and it was at the top of the list. If they were against it, there were no repeat visits.
Wife Three... nurse, has seen the damage guns cause, is personally anti and does not like them at all. Has accepted the fact that they will be in the home. Has no problem with me CCW-ing, but will not do so herself. Hates the evil black guns and does not want to learn about any of it. Will not allow black evil guns into home. Seems to think the pretty wood cowboy guns by Marlin are OK though, as is that M-1A.
Also does not seem to have a problem with coach style SBS shotguns, but no Franchis for me.
I consider it a huge win that I've been able to get an indoor range established in my garage/workshop. She's even helped set up/revamp the reloading area. In fact, she actually shot the 3" M-66 with a cylinder full of Speer plastic bulets and shows some natural aptitude.
The trick seems to be patience and just not pushing the agenda. I like to go to gun shows, if she wwants to be with me during the time one is around, she'll tag around. Same with summer shooting league time this coming year. I figure in a couple of years, she'll become acclimated.
Wife One... violently anti, would not allow me to keep anything around... divorce by ireeconcilable diffferences.
Wife Two ...neutral to slight anti, did not like them in house but tolerated them, divorce by irreconcilable differences. After divorce, sought me out fopr info on how to get CCW'd and weapon selection advice.
Period of much bachelorhood.... every girl I dated got to the hobbies question and it was at the top of the list. If they were against it, there were no repeat visits.
Wife Three... nurse, has seen the damage guns cause, is personally anti and does not like them at all. Has accepted the fact that they will be in the home. Has no problem with me CCW-ing, but will not do so herself. Hates the evil black guns and does not want to learn about any of it. Will not allow black evil guns into home. Seems to think the pretty wood cowboy guns by Marlin are OK though, as is that M-1A.
Also does not seem to have a problem with coach style SBS shotguns, but no Franchis for me.I consider it a huge win that I've been able to get an indoor range established in my garage/workshop. She's even helped set up/revamp the reloading area. In fact, she actually shot the 3" M-66 with a cylinder full of Speer plastic bulets and shows some natural aptitude.
The trick seems to be patience and just not pushing the agenda. I like to go to gun shows, if she wwants to be with me during the time one is around, she'll tag around. Same with summer shooting league time this coming year. I figure in a couple of years, she'll become acclimated.
rickster
Member
When I applied for my CCW permit, the wife said okay but no guns in the house. When I got my CCW, I bought a .22 to practice with and shoot in a league. She said okay but don't tell me where the gun is and keep the bullets away from the gun. Next, I bought a 40S&W and she said "Why do you need two guns?" I said one to shoot in the league and one to carry. She screamed, "You can't carry a gun!" I said, "Watch!" Now she doesn't ask and I don't tell. She knows I carry but doesn't bring it up. No longer an issue.
Black Snowman
Member
This is mostly on topic and possibly relivant so I'm going to go ahead and post it.
Personally, if someone can't trust me or themselves with arms for whatever purpose then I can't trust them enough to be in a relationship with them. This eliminates a lot of people as potential company. A lot more than it really should.
Not everyone will agree with that philosphy but to me it comes down to responsability and trust. They either trust me to act in their best interests or they don't. To me it's either there or it's not and going without arms is not an option for me. I don't feel I can meet my responsabilities unarmed.
I wouldn't interject my own views on people in this situation or try to meddle but if involved for whatever reason I would probably ask those that are resistant who they don't trust and why, and let them think about that. There may be a real valid reason why the don't want a weapon around but ultimately, like everything, it's their decision and they have to make the one that's right for them.
JMHO, ususal disclaimers apply.
Personally, if someone can't trust me or themselves with arms for whatever purpose then I can't trust them enough to be in a relationship with them. This eliminates a lot of people as potential company. A lot more than it really should.
Not everyone will agree with that philosphy but to me it comes down to responsability and trust. They either trust me to act in their best interests or they don't. To me it's either there or it's not and going without arms is not an option for me. I don't feel I can meet my responsabilities unarmed.
I wouldn't interject my own views on people in this situation or try to meddle but if involved for whatever reason I would probably ask those that are resistant who they don't trust and why, and let them think about that. There may be a real valid reason why the don't want a weapon around but ultimately, like everything, it's their decision and they have to make the one that's right for them.
JMHO, ususal disclaimers apply.
ruger270man
Member
id dump them in a heartbeat.. no one tells me I cant buy something, or participate in a hobby, thats bullcrap! I could see if they were strugglin with bills and couldnt afford it, but if thats not the case, I would say "see ya!"
you significant other cant love you too much if they dont even "allow" you to buy what you want to buy..
and your friends need to start wearing the pants for once, and grow some.
flame away haters
you significant other cant love you too much if they dont even "allow" you to buy what you want to buy..
and your friends need to start wearing the pants for once, and grow some.
flame away haters
chas_martel
Member
Oh man,
I am afraid to offer up my comments. They run the gambit from something
patent so elogantly put to the "grow some balls" line of thinking.
But I just wanted to chime in on my "predicament".
I found out months after our first "blind" date that my wife was
packing heat in her purse!
Needless to say, we get along great!
PS: Often when my father in law shows up he has a new/old gun to pass
along or a trunk load of shells he has reloaded and needs for me to shoot
up.
I am afraid to offer up my comments. They run the gambit from something
patent so elogantly put to the "grow some balls" line of thinking.
But I just wanted to chime in on my "predicament".
I found out months after our first "blind" date that my wife was
packing heat in her purse!
Needless to say, we get along great!
PS: Often when my father in law shows up he has a new/old gun to pass
along or a trunk load of shells he has reloaded and needs for me to shoot
up.
joe4702
Member
It's the man's job to protect his family. Firearms are one tool (an important one) for doing so. These guys shouldn't let a womans irrational fears stand in the way of fufilling that important responsibility.
Bob F.
Member
Sweet little thing works in the "stop & rob" down the street. Overheard her say someone knew every move" Later asked her if someone was stalking her and if she had pepper spray: "No, but Maggie's right there" nodding toward her purse. Love livin' in the country!
When I come home late, I usually holler " Don't shoot, it's me!"
Stay safe.
Bob
When I come home late, I usually holler " Don't shoot, it's me!"
Stay safe.
Bob
Fred Fuller
Moderator Emeritus
Zach S
Member
Good advice. It works for me, for short periods of time anyway. Somehow, I keep winding up dating antis. I sure can pick 'em:banghead:
OTOH, neither is saying "Well I live here too, and I say NO GUNS!"
HankB
Member
Two tales of friends with controlling wives.
#1 friend had a large, well-equipped workshop in his basement. He did the ENTIRE kitchen remodeling at his wife's request - did a good job, too. Once the job was done, she DEMANDED he get rid of his workshop, so the rest of the basement could be put to "better" use. He did so, and quietly moved his guns out of the house . . . they divorced not long after. He saw it coming, and had a GOOD lawyer in advance, so he came out OK. His whole attitude on life improved greatly afterward.
#2 friend had a few guns, but after they bought a new house, he decided when they finished the basement he was going to build a 20 x 20 reloading room/exercise room in one corner. Wife didn't want it, she wanted a "nicely finished" basement, and wouldn't budge. When it came to make the next house payment, he told her he wasn't going to write any more checks for the house; after all, if he wasn't allowed 400 square feet out of the 5000 square feet available, it wasn't his house at all, and he was d@mned if he was going to pay for it, or anything going in it.
She saw reason. He got his room and they're still happily married.
#1 friend had a large, well-equipped workshop in his basement. He did the ENTIRE kitchen remodeling at his wife's request - did a good job, too. Once the job was done, she DEMANDED he get rid of his workshop, so the rest of the basement could be put to "better" use. He did so, and quietly moved his guns out of the house . . . they divorced not long after. He saw it coming, and had a GOOD lawyer in advance, so he came out OK. His whole attitude on life improved greatly afterward.
#2 friend had a few guns, but after they bought a new house, he decided when they finished the basement he was going to build a 20 x 20 reloading room/exercise room in one corner. Wife didn't want it, she wanted a "nicely finished" basement, and wouldn't budge. When it came to make the next house payment, he told her he wasn't going to write any more checks for the house; after all, if he wasn't allowed 400 square feet out of the 5000 square feet available, it wasn't his house at all, and he was d@mned if he was going to pay for it, or anything going in it.
She saw reason. He got his room and they're still happily married.
Oh c'mon man, that's an easy one! Just tell her to grow a pair and assert some dominance
.I'm surprised at the number of responses advising that itgoesboom's friends should divorce their wives rather than compromise. Does anybody besides me do that anymore, or is it just outdated?
Converting someone takes a little work, but it's usally not impossible, and the rewards will be much more enjoyable than divorce proceedings. I stand by my prior advice - ease them into it.
Joe Demko
Member
That's the thing, though, the OP isn't the one involved with an anti-gun woman. Friends of his are. That's why I reiterate my advice: Stay out of it. Interfering in other people's relationships is bad juju.
ruger270man
Member
how the heck can you compromise? she said NO GUNS.. thats messed up, how can you tell someone you supposedly love not to do something he wants to do..
ojibweindian
Member
The REAL problem isn't the fact that their SOs will not allow guns, it's that they want to be the dominant member of the relationship. If these two friends of itgoesboom are comfortable in a subserviant role, then there shouldn't be a problem; they would cave into the wish of their SOs and not buy a gun.
Because they are complaining, I would guess that they are not happy with their roles. And my guess is that they both complain about other things than just buying a pistol, etc.
Because they are complaining, I would guess that they are not happy with their roles. And my guess is that they both complain about other things than just buying a pistol, etc.
Strings
Member
Sorry, but I have to agree with some others here: the only time Spoon or I "obey orders" is when they're barked out, and then there'd better be a damn good reason for them...
Personally, I'd reccomend to the friends that they discuss the control thing with their SOs. Not discuss "guns", but "control". Conversation should probably go something like this:
Guy: "Honey... I think we need to talk. I'm noticing a problem"
Girl: "What? What kind of problem?"
Guy: "Well... I feel like you believe it's your place to make all the decisions..."
From there, they have the opening. Odds are, if the SOs say "no guns!", they also say "no_____". The friends should use as many examples as possible.
If, after a nice, rational discussion about the subject, the SOs refuse to budge, then they should look at either councilling or leaving...
Oh... your part in this? Pass the above inf on to the friends, and then stay out of it!
Personally, I'd reccomend to the friends that they discuss the control thing with their SOs. Not discuss "guns", but "control". Conversation should probably go something like this:
Guy: "Honey... I think we need to talk. I'm noticing a problem"
Girl: "What? What kind of problem?"
Guy: "Well... I feel like you believe it's your place to make all the decisions..."
From there, they have the opening. Odds are, if the SOs say "no guns!", they also say "no_____". The friends should use as many examples as possible.
If, after a nice, rational discussion about the subject, the SOs refuse to budge, then they should look at either councilling or leaving...
Oh... your part in this? Pass the above inf on to the friends, and then stay out of it!
TonkinTwentyMil
Member
WIVES & GUNS
Gentlemen, having been down this painful road with several "Ex-es" (and also having acquired vicarious lessons-learned via many good friends), here's my recommendations:
1. CANDOR: get the whole gun issue On The Table/Up Front, early in a relationship.
2. MAKE-OR-BREAK: If she balks, have the testicular courage to walk out, right then and there, no matter how sweet or alluring her charms. While it may be possible to convert her, it'll come at some "price". To you -- and your relationship. At the very least, there will be marital stress. Life's too short.
3. VALUES LITMUS TEST: this issue is a dead-bang test for many other serious disagreements-to-come over raising children. And POLITICS. Huge stressors, all. Accordingly, it's the Tip Of The iceberg. Rough seas ahead.
4. PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT: consider a written "contract" element wherein she agrees to (a) accept guns for both "sporting purposes" AND self-defense, and (b) agrees to NOT disclose your gun ownership in any subsequent separation, hostile divorce proceedings, or domestic-dispute/disturbance legalities. This might spare you a gun-confiscating T.R.O. (often automatic, and inevitable in gun-hostile jurisdictions).
Some will say this approach is too cold or "practical" in a game ruled by hormones and emotions. Fine. However, the odds are very high you'll pay later, big-time, while playing into the hands of the anti-gun shrinks, lawyers, and judges who believe gun owners are knuckle-dragging Neanderthals and general social pariahs who merit constant discrimination and delegitimization.
You'll get over killing a gun-hostile relationship early on. If you don't have the moral courage to do this, your pride will suffer... along with OUR collective 2A rights. My sincere hope is that all such budding Rosie O'Donnells (a) eventually see the light -- after millions of men shun them, (b) wind up marrying, out of desperation, "sensitive" Alan Alda wimp-twits, (c) who stand by, hopelessly waving their "Peace" medallion -- while their women are raped and gutted by hordes of Hells Angels on PCP.
There's a lot of great ladies out there who will accept/embrace us. If you ain't meeting them, consider a change of social venue -- not some sniveling, lib-snot appeasing compromise just to assuage the call of short-term chemistry.
I'm dyin' to hear from pro-gun ladies on this. (I know what the antis will say.)
Gentlemen, having been down this painful road with several "Ex-es" (and also having acquired vicarious lessons-learned via many good friends), here's my recommendations:
1. CANDOR: get the whole gun issue On The Table/Up Front, early in a relationship.
2. MAKE-OR-BREAK: If she balks, have the testicular courage to walk out, right then and there, no matter how sweet or alluring her charms. While it may be possible to convert her, it'll come at some "price". To you -- and your relationship. At the very least, there will be marital stress. Life's too short.
3. VALUES LITMUS TEST: this issue is a dead-bang test for many other serious disagreements-to-come over raising children. And POLITICS. Huge stressors, all. Accordingly, it's the Tip Of The iceberg. Rough seas ahead.
4. PRE-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT: consider a written "contract" element wherein she agrees to (a) accept guns for both "sporting purposes" AND self-defense, and (b) agrees to NOT disclose your gun ownership in any subsequent separation, hostile divorce proceedings, or domestic-dispute/disturbance legalities. This might spare you a gun-confiscating T.R.O. (often automatic, and inevitable in gun-hostile jurisdictions).
Some will say this approach is too cold or "practical" in a game ruled by hormones and emotions. Fine. However, the odds are very high you'll pay later, big-time, while playing into the hands of the anti-gun shrinks, lawyers, and judges who believe gun owners are knuckle-dragging Neanderthals and general social pariahs who merit constant discrimination and delegitimization.
You'll get over killing a gun-hostile relationship early on. If you don't have the moral courage to do this, your pride will suffer... along with OUR collective 2A rights. My sincere hope is that all such budding Rosie O'Donnells (a) eventually see the light -- after millions of men shun them, (b) wind up marrying, out of desperation, "sensitive" Alan Alda wimp-twits, (c) who stand by, hopelessly waving their "Peace" medallion -- while their women are raped and gutted by hordes of Hells Angels on PCP.
There's a lot of great ladies out there who will accept/embrace us. If you ain't meeting them, consider a change of social venue -- not some sniveling, lib-snot appeasing compromise just to assuage the call of short-term chemistry.
I'm dyin' to hear from pro-gun ladies on this. (I know what the antis will say.)
Before we were married, I brought up the subject of guns with my soon to be wife. She was deathly afraid of them. We had a discussion, that since they were inanimate objects, and since none of the butcher knives in the house had went berserk and killed anyone, the firearms weren't likely go crazy either. She agreed to go along to the range with me. She started out shooting .22 pistol and liked that, so we moved on to .38's which she liked even more. Going to the range showed her guns aren't evil, and actually can be fun. We got married and for her birthday I bought her a .38 snubbie of her own. Things worked out well.
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