Bad parent because I have guns in the house, please help

[Finprof]

guns in the house

My stepdaughter was asked by the pediatrician whether we have guns in the house. I think it has become a standard pediatrician question in New Jersey where we live.

Her answer was "Sure. Why, do you want do buy some?"

 

[Ryanxia]

Finprof - I was asked that by my previous physician and when I mentioned it to my current physician she said that the other one takes gun safety very seriously... I said that's nice, but I would never see her again because she seemed more concerned of my firearms then my health. Now I decline but due to the new Obamacare system now in place in 2014 we're all at the mercy..

 

[Boris bush]

I will reply only to the OPs post right now. The house being full of people is the best time to tell her. Its your house. If you are so terrible she can leave. No one disrespects me or my wife in my house. BTW, if she said you are a bad parent, then she is saying the same thing about your wife. I would be more concerned about everyone talking about how she gave it to you for 30 minutes in your house and you did nothing about it after they left.

FWIW, my wife has a friend that told me and my wife that guns and kids in the house is a bad thing. She just bought a 22 pistol for herself AND she has a 4yo kid....

There might still be hope for her. Take her shooting with you and let her watch as your 7yo shoots safely......

 

[JoeMal]

There should never be a next time, this woman came as a guest into your home and then berated you in front of other guests.

Why on earth would you (or your wife) ever tolerate her presence in your home again?

She is a fool and your family should not be made to suffer her around them.

Politely tell her to mind her own business. If she brings it up again don't invite her back, its your house.

You would be a bad parent if you didn't have guns in the house

I agree

 

[Tinpig]

I'm a carpenter and have done work for a couple for 10 years. Always got along great and they give me a lot of work.

One day this year the wife saw the NRA sticker on the rear window of my truck cab.

She turned to me and said, "Wow! I never thought you were that kind of a person."

You would have thought I was sporting a NAMBLA sticker.

But in 40 years of being self-employed I've learned not to talk about politics, religion, or my personal life with customers, so I just said. "Well I am." and changed the subject.

What I think is none of her business and I don't give a damn what she thinks.

Tinpig

 

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

I'll echo others. This doesn't even really have to be about guns. Anyone who comes over as a guest and then rants to the host in front of others isn't welcome anymore.

 

[Mudinyeri]

tell her you have guns in the house so you and yours are protected, her included when she is over.

if she has a problem with guns please do not come over. or call if your ever in need of protection, call a cop

I have a neighbor who is anti-gun. She knows I own guns. She knows that I have a military background using guns in ways she doesn't care to imagine. She doesn't like guns but she sure wants me around if some pedo comes after her 11 year-old daughter.

The sheep don't like the sheep dog until the wolf comes around.

 

[Rodeo4joe]

Let me start by saying +1,000,000 to 97 percent of the advice given. I have been in a few similar situations. One of which I knew was going to happen and I had to put many hours thinking about how I would respond when the questions were asked. Here is the story and my response...

I am currently going thouh a custody battle with my ex girlfriend and I. My wife and I have had custody of my son for 3 years. His biological mother decided to file and has pressed a losing battle on the path to her demise . But as part of the process my Son's lawyer is required to make a house visit to each home as part of her decision to determine which home is best for him. Well his mother made the statement that she was "Extreamly uncomfortable with me having firearms in the home" during the initial court proceedings. So I knew that it was going to come up during the home visit. So I started to worry and I started to think and I started checking the archives on THR (I really believe that there is no better FREE advice site covering so many different gun related topics) Thanks THR! Here is what transpired:
Guardian Ad-Litem Asked: Do you have guns in the home?
I responded with will it make a difference?
GAL: It might.
Me: All firearms in this home are stored in accordance with all state laws, and the best comon sense practices, to include ensuring that the children in my home have no access.
GAL: What about AMMO (yes she said AMMO)
Me: My ammunition is stored separatly and also out of reach.
GAL: ok that wasnt hard why were you so nervous?
Me: I was afraid that your opinions on my exercising my 2A rights would influence your opinion and in effect the out come of our case.
GAL: it might
GAL: Do you allow guests in your home to carry firearms whether concealed or open?
Me: (while backpedling I lied) NO
GAL: do you need me to take mine to my vehicle? You see I have to go stange homes all of the time. I used to be very anti-gun but then I got this job and I go to an average of 8 new houses a week and have seen some cray situations where I feared for my life. Since then I always carry where I can.
Me: (speachless)

Not to sound corny but the moral of my story is: "Stick to your guns!"

We never know when we might be able to influence an ANTI to see our point of view, and if that is the only thing wrong with your wifes friend then talk to your wife and have her tell her friend that if she can **** and stay out of your parenting techniques and house hold decisions then she is welcome to stay around because you might eventually wear her down and turn her to our side once she figures out they will not rob the liqour store with out assistance freinds are hard to find dont know your relationship with her thats for you to decide. If there are other issues with your wife's friend then she is a bad apple, Badd apples turn to alcohol, and alcohol and guns dont mix. Sorry if this was way to far off what you were looking for.

 

[nyrifleman]

My dad has frequently been criticised for the way he raised his kids (myself and my brother), including with respect to guns (he started teaching us to shoot an air rifle at age 6, and a rimfire at age 8). He would never address the issue at hand, but always the credibility of the speaker ("And what are YOUR great accomplishments in the field of child-rearing that should make me listen to you?") There are a surprisingly few people who can articulate any sort of answer. If they do respond ("Well, my kid is top of his/her high school class." / "My kid is an amazing athlete." / Whatever), you tell them that we'll see what our respective kids will be doing in 10 years. End of conversation.

And a... woman... like the OP describes would NEVER be invited back to my house.

PS. So far, my dad's kids have turned out alright
Leastways, they haven't committed any firearm-related crimes or been in any firearm-related accidents.

PPS, when describing some of what my brother and I were allowed to get away with as kids, a friend of mine said "wow, I would've killed you little deleted -- <Sam>s!" I knew what she meant, though, and we're still friends. So a lot depends.

 

[Guns and more]

Having the wife take her shooting is a good idea.

Get serious. You think an anti is going to touch a gun?

Someone had a great quote: Don't try to teach a pig to sing, it won't work and it annoys the pig."

 

[Hatterasguy]

She showed very poor manners and taste, I wouldn't have her over anymore.

 

[zxcvbob]

(after about 5 minutes and she still hasn't shut up) Apologize to the other guests and then "Please get out of my house. Now!" And don't back down.

 

[Gouranga]

You are nicer than me. I don't car if it is guns, paint chips, video games, whatever. Do NOT ever walk into my home and start telling me how to raise my kids or run my house. NEVER! The list of folks who can do that with me is slim 1 wears a matching ring and for some reason puts up with me day in day out. The other 4 sacrificed their entire lives to raise either of us. I MIGHT take some grief from my brother and sister but that's about it.

It gets me ticked just thinking about it. She was way over the line. To walk into someones house an make such a statement is beyond rude and she would be asked to leave and not be welcome back. I only hope she was drunk to have such a childish lack of self control.

Man...you are so doing better than me. I get mad just thinking about it...lol...props to not losing your cool completely on her.

 

[JoeSlomo]

There should never be a next time, this woman came as a guest into your home and then berated you in front of other guests.

Pretty much concur.

I will not share the company of rude individuals, especially in my home. I will politely ask an individual ONCE to refrain from rude behavior before they are removed, never to return again until they make an apology and agree to my behavior standards.

I would never berate another in their home because they don't share my views, and if I felt that strongly about something, I would simply thank them for their company and leave.

 

[DeepSouth]

Politely tell her to mind her own business. If she brings it up again don't invite her back, its your house

That about sums up all you can do and remain civil.

You could also ask her if she is also anti-swimming pool, then show her the stats. Facts are that it is much more dangerous for kids to live in a house with a pool than a house with a gun.

Chances are logic want work. just "politely tell her to mind her own business" if she continues, tell her to leave.

 

[RDCL]

The woman was just plain rude and WAY out of line by questioning your duties as a responsible parent.

Goodness sake! Millions of responsible good parents have firearms in the home with children present........and any firearm related accidents/tragedies are very few and far between given the numbers......and the numbers are staggering!
That's not to belittle a single instance. One child among millions being injured or killed with a firearm is one too many......but then so is a child drowning in a swimming pool.

I would have given it back to her......politely of course....but in stern words:

"When you leave madam.....you will be ABSOLUTELY certain there are no children behind your car as you back out......CHECK behind the car before you get in and start the engine.....very slowley back out yelling CLEAR as you do......better yet....I'll come out and monitor the rear of the vehicle as you slowley back out."

 

[hey_poolboy]

Wow, great thread!

I grew up on a farm in a home where my father always had a gun at the ready. (not loaded, but mag w/i reach) We were taught gun safety at a VERY early age, and started shooting my Dad's single six by the age of 6 or 7. We knew where Dad kept some of the guns, but we also knew the consequences for even looking at them.
As a father of two daughters (4 & 6) the oldest is starting to learn gun safety w/ the BB gun. The younger is soon to follow. They know that I have several guns in the house and enjoy shooting them. I anxiously await the days I am able to take them both out with a couple .22s and have a good time shooting together.
If anything like the OP's story happened in my home I would explain my side once. If they didn't care for my reasoning they would be politely asked to leave. I am of the firm opinion that I am a good parent partly because I have guns in my home. The family that shoots together stays together, and I am prepared to shoot if the time comes that i need to protect my family.

 

[HGUNHNTR]

Its always easier to get another person to listen to your viewpoint if you are willing to first listen to their's. Kicking a person out of your house for disagreeing with you is childish. Like it or not, when you are a gun owner and other people know it, you are an ambassador for the rest of us.

 

[Gouranga]

HGUN...IMO, its not about disagreeing with him, it is the amount of disrespect shown to him in the manner in which she did. You Don't have to agree with me about having guns in my home, I have family member that do. None of them would insult the crud out of me, and tell me how to raise my kids, accuse me of being a bad parent, etc. that is over the line.

 

[The_Pretender]

For future reference:

"Oh, check your tone girl. Keep your inside voice on, before I put your [fanny] outside."

"I don't care who you are, who you think you are, or whoever it is you want to be, but in MY home, with MY wife, we will raise OUR kids how WE see fit."

"Let me have your phone number, and if I ever decide I give a deleted -- <Sam> what you think, I'll give you a call."


But seriously..... it should have stopped right when it started. You can't argue with every idiot that doesn't know what they're talking about. And even then, if she is that far gone, why bother? I wouldn't waste the effort, but I would have seriously stopped her short and then removed her pending no instant apology.

Don't take that from anyone. Especially in your own home.

 

[HGUNHNTR]

I agree with you totally gouranga, I am also very patient with folks that want to flip and go on rants. It doesnt' take very long for them to look like a complete idiot of their own making. I'm just saying there are better ways to diffuse the situation than causing a scene and throwing someone's guest out of the house.

"Oh, check your tone girl. Keep your inside voice on, before I put your ass outside."

Again, what type of response will this illicit?

These are basic relational skills people should have...the lack thereof probably feeds shows like Jerry Springer though.

 

[zxcvbob]

I'm just saying there are better ways to diffuse the situation than causing a scene and throwing one's guest out of the house.

That's not causing a scene, it's ending one. If you have no respect for yourself, have some for your family and the other guests. Thirty minute rant? Please.

 

[HGUNHNTR]

I'm guessing if she really did go on for 30 minutes she pretty much made herself look like a total idiot, and probably wouldn't want to stick around anyway.
We are hearing one side of the story remember.

 

[JEB]

you exercise a lot of restraint. in that situation if someone was saying things like that in MY house, I doubt that i would have held my toung for 30 seconds...forget about 30 minuets!

ive been handling and shooting guns since i could walk a straight line, but from then to now the number 1 rule has always been safety. when kids are taught proper safety habits around firearms there is no reason not to have firearms in the house

 

[Gouranga]

.the lack thereof probably feeds shows like Jerry Springer though

Hey what's wrong with Springer? 50 million people can;t be wrong..lol.