JaxNovice,
You seem extremely invested in the flat denial of validity of this story (witness all of your assertions -and in some cases putting words in the guy's mouth that he didn't say - based on ??? ... ). Why?
I'm not claiming the story's true (I have no idea if it's true or not - I wasn't there). Only that I'm curious why someone from Virginia knows/is stating for a fact that it isn't. I'm sure that this question will irritate you, but that's not my intent. Sometimes something seemingly innocuous will push my button, too. I'm just wondering what about this story pushed yours?