Packing on First Few Dates

[Duramaximum]

I recently got into an argument with my mother about this. I feel that when a girl is with me on a date I have a responsibility to protect her with every resource I have. One of those resources is a Ruger P345 .45ACP. My mother claims that regardless of my Weapons Permit, if a girl who doesn't know me very well finds out I have a gun with me on our date, she might freak out and think I'm psycho. Not that I am, but that thought might go through their head and cause them to be scared or very uncomfortable. The fact that I have it for protection is irrelevant.

I already tried to explain to her that my last girlfriend knew I had it before we were going out. She thought it was (in her words) "Sweet!" Mothers are hard to convince. My Dad tried talking with me about it. His talk was more inspirational than realistic. "If someone wants to hurt her, your adrenaline will make you stronger than you ever thought you were." Until I get hocked, anyway.

I also forgot to add "Ask you date if she would be comfortable with it." to the poll. Just say that in your reply if that's the way you feel.

So what do you think?

And just to help you guys stay on track, I don't drink and I'm not looking for a piece of A--.

 

[logical]

I'd seriously consider leaving your mother at home when you go out on a date.

 

[Biker]

When I was single, I always carried as I do now. When me and the lady got to where we were going and my boots came off, I simply said "Don't. Touch. The Gun".
Worked everytime.

Biker

 

[Snap]

Carry. It's a part of who you are, and there's no reason to change any of that for a woman. Especially not on a first date. Watch the hugs and if she bumps into it, shrug it off and stay calm. I'd try to breach the subject as soon as I got a bead what her reaction would be, but regardless, carry.

 

[sheckigreen]

do you really want a girl that would think you're "crazy" for protecting yourself, anyway?

 

[Demiurge]

Do you want to date someone who is freaked out by someone who carries a firearm?

 

[Demiurge]

Oh, and I always pack heat on dates...

 

[jlbraun]

I thought about this when I started dating again.

I don't carry on the first 3 dates. At the end of the 3rd, if she's worth keeping around, I say "There's something I want to tell you. Here." and I hand her my CCW permit. Then I say "I own guns, and I got this so I could carry on long car trips, when I go camping, and other places. It basically says that I have no felonies, no history of mental illness, and am safe with guns. Just thought you should know."

I have heard from girls - even pro-gun ones on THR - that "If a guy carried a gun on our first date, I would be quite wary of him. Not freaked out, just really wary." So I carry a knife on the first few dates, show what a great guy I am, then let them know that I own guns later.

Also, there are women friends of mine that I consider dateable, and they all know I own guns anyway.

 

[taliv]

i voted pack heat because you should pack heat. but not because you have any responsibility to protect some chick.

seriously, in MT, since there's practically no crime and the biggest threat is freezing your ass off, if you want to protect someone, take the 'pack heat' thing literally and bring some extra blankets.

 

[Duramaximum]

To logical:
If I took my mom on my dates, I definitely wouldn't need to pack for two reasons.

One: My mom isn't the ideal happy homemaker mom, more like the Incredible Hulk. Don't piss her off.

Two: I wouldn't have any dates.

 

[larry_minn]

Mostly I did (where legal) If I did not I wonder if they checked car/pickup if they would be more worried at what they would find. Lockback knife, duct tape, exam gloves, spare clothing, jug of water/towel/soap.etc...

 

[HammerG26]

Whatever happened to "concealed means concealed"? Heck - if you get to the point where it needs to "dealt with" - your night is going pretty well!
Of course, if you get that far and then get shot down (pardon the pun), don't blame me - I am married. If I was on a date, I would need my gun to protect me from my wife!!!

Good luck

 

[JAMES77257]

I noticed you specified "with a girl".

 

[birdv]

hmm it is funny trying to explain a pistol on the night stand.

 

[tank mechanic]

I carried on every date my wife and I ever went on. She eventually found out because every time I sat down or laid down I would leave a trail of bullets behind me. ( I did a lot of shooting during this time and usually had a few strays in my pockets at the end of the day). Found out during this time that she really liked guns too, so it was no big deal. I couldn't see myself with someone who didn't like guns. It would just be too difficult.

 

[Pax Jordana]

DO IT

Pack heat. It may be an unlucky night, just like any other night might be.

But then, I don't like to make the first night a 'lucky' one anyway.. I don't think I would get naked for anyone who wasn't close enough to know I pack. Lemme put it that way.

And remember the sacred man- code- A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman MUST REMAIN SOBER ENOUGH TO FIGHT

 

[Kharn]

I think one THR member had a bad experience with carrying on a date, he had to stash the gun in his glovebox so they could go on a walk in the park. His date didnt take kindly to also seeing a box of condoms in there and referred to it as a "rape kit". Suffice to say, the walk was not as fun as he thought it would be.

Kharn

 

[The Amigo]

Pack

Pack 2 things a gun and a box of condoms remember life is precious and not only criminals kill so do disease's

 

[VWTim]

Not that I date much, but when I do I alway carry. No reason to change who I am, someone who takes their security seriously. This one girl I met at a party and have been chatting with online asked what i'd been doing this weekend, and not wanting to lie I said I was doing some shooting/training. Also shot her a link to the facility. She didn't get quiet or run away, so that's a BIG + in my book.

Although the majority of girls I meet are when I'm out at bars or shows, and the guns stay home for that anyway.

 

[pax]

Your parents sound like sensible enough people, I think. From the conversations you report, all three of you are correct: the date is likely to freak out if she encounters a gun on an early date, and protecting yourself & your date is in fact a duty you have, as you & your mom say. Sounds like your old man has a good angle too -- the gun is not the only self-defense tool available to you, and it is in the final analysis only a tool. The real weapons are between your ears and in your guts, and you can always have those with you no matter what tools you carry on your belt.

Me? I'd carry anyway. But I'm an antique married lady and my very old-fashioned perspective is that there should still be a little romance left in the world. Nothing more romantic than anticipation and moving a bit ... slower ... than most folks seem to brag about these days. If you're respectful enough of your date not to plan on heavily groping each other or having sex on the first couple dates, there's no reason you cannot keep the gun concealed until you know each other well enough to, you know, talk.

pax

 

[Sistema1927]

Dating is normally seen as the pre-cursor to marriage (duh). As a result, you should be dating candidates for marriage. If they are going to freak out due to your carrying, then they aren't a good candidate.

Additionally, to those who suggest not carrying the first few dates, can you guarantee that "the goblins" won't show up then?

 

[SoCalShooter]

I'd seriously consider leaving your mother at home when you go out on a date.

The most logical response I have read in this thread.

If your careful she will never know. If she finds out and questions you about it then just tell her the truth. You feel you have a responsibility to her as her date to protect her if that should become necessary. Tell her you have a concealed carry permit and if she is reasonable and can think logically you will be just fine. I say carry.

 

[Zrex]

Think of how impressed she will be when you don't let a couple of thugs kidnap and rape her!

And when she says, "Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?" you can honestly say, "Both!"

 

[tanksoldier]

Pack your pistola.

Eventually she'll have to find out anyway, and if it doesn't work out what do you care what she thinks?

I wouldn't bring it up until the second or third date, maybe a suggestion for a range-trip date would be a way to break the ice.

 

[Mad Chemist]

What Pax said, and do it discreetly for goodness sake. A Ruger P is WAY too bulky to CC on a 1st date. Unless you have some excellent concealment gear, you're going to have a hard time hiding it.

FWIW, it's much easier to conceal a full size gun in formal attire. Doing so in casual clothing usually makes you look like a slob. (baggy and untucked etc.)

Don't talk about guns on the first date, if she's not a shooter she'll think you're weird. My GF told me that if she had known about the guns BEFORE she felt completely safe with me she would have broken it off. Now she thinks it's "cute" and usually pats me down as a joke before we go out.