What do you do if your wife or girlfriend simply rolls her eyes at your advice?

Status
Not open for further replies.
I

inSight-NEO

Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
842
My wife wants to get her CCL this weekend, maybe, and for the past day or so I have been trying to give her various tips on stance, aiming (with both eyes open), proper weapon handling, various ways of carrying, etc. Yet, she either seems put out or quite bored with what I have to say regarding this stuff.

Now, she is headstrong and stubborn, but I would think she could at least acknowledge that I know more about this stuff than she does and that she could actually somewhat benefit from my advice. Alas....this is not the case for now.

So, how would you approach such a situation? If you have had similar resistance, how did you go about "getting through" to your woman?
 
All I have to say is GOOD LUCK!

In all seriousness, try to find something where a man or woman got hurt or killed because of lack of training. Or had their weapon taken away and used against them, or something along those lines. I know that is horrible to say, but people should learn of other's mistakes so that they don't make the same mistake themselves.
 
I used to get the eye roll... but I would just say... "Listen to me... you dont have to believe, like or follow what I say... just listen...."

Soon she started being better about locking doors, watching suspicious people, etc....

Then, when she did have a scary thing happen... THAT night she was signed up for a CCW class, and has adjusted the ratio of our chick flick/gun range deal... she know shoots two mags at the range for each cheazy flick I watch...

Patience grasshopper.
 
Hire an outside expert, someone you trust, to do the job for you. My wife is exactly the same: She would never listen to me give her golf tips, for example, but she'll take them from just about anyone else around, including those with far lesser skills than even she has (she's actually pretty good).

And that, my friend, is the way of the world. Sad but true. :)
 
She is probably viewing your effort to give advice as a power struggle as to who is in "control" in your relationship, instead of helpful guidance. Like you are trying to be the boss of her. Who can fathom the female mind, right? My advice: don't GIVE her the advice, wait till she asks for it. I know, it takes painful patience.

Best course of action to get her to learn to shoot properly: both of you go to a professional trainer, or join a class together or something along those lines.

Oh, forgot to say if you do go to a class with her, refrain from saying anything other than praises while you are there. Leave the criticism to the trainer. You are just another student, you are both equal and you are "sharing" the experience with her. Girls love to share ;)
 
Oh, dear lord - how many misogynistic clichés can we pack into a single thread?

<sigh>

I suspect that Blazenzy has the right idea. You can also ask her to spend some time at The Cornered Cat website.
 
both of you go to a professional trainer
Click to expand...
Sage advice.

My wife learned a LOT more at our CCW class than she ever did from me.

And that only makes sense. Us males think we are the all-knowing weapons handling experts.

We are wrong.

Both of you go to a pro and pay for some professional training. You'll both be surprised, and you'll both learn a lot.
 
It kinda sounds like maybe shes just getting the ccl to make you happy. Not sayin this is the case, but i've run into that with my wife. Aside from lots of people only take advise when they are at the end of their patience.

As in what the hell.......i've tried everything else.......something has to work. Normally followed by......Well i'll be damned!
 
My wife is the same way. She says that she doesn't like my way, and that she likes her way better, even though she is a TERRIBLE shot.

She just isn't as into shooting as I am , and that is OK.
 
I teach both firearms, and dance, but not to my spouse. Nor did I with my first wife. There's something about saying, "I do." That causes all males to instantly become the single most stupid person on the planet. Accept it, spend the money on lessons for both of you, and move on.

In my experience with both genders that attitude says far more about the one doing the ignoring than the ignored. I think it has to do with.... Well, no psycho babel here, but trust me it's about them, and just suck up and pay the money.
 
I can see the benefit of both my wife and I attending a particular training course. Ill give this a try in the near future and see how things fare.

In the meantime, I guess Ill just have only my "shot groups" to turn to, as compared to hers. Hopefully, she will begin asking "how do you do that?" From that moment on, maybe she will actually believe in/learn from what I suggest to her.
 
Teaching your wife to shoot is kinda like teaching your daughter to drive. DONT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! Get some knowledgable person to take on the task and pay them if you need to, they are not going to listen to you just because.
 
She has to want to learn. Apparently she doesn't want to learn yet, and all the coaxing and arguing you can do to say why she *should* learn is only going to set her more strongly against you.

Leave the offer open, let her fail her test, offer to help her with the logistics of taking a class, and if she genuinely wants it she'll make it happen. I imagine she's a capable, grown adult same as you.
 
1. You may not be a good teacher.
2. She just may not want to take instruction from you, period.

Send her to a commercial shooting/self-defense class.
 
Two options:

1. Let her go to a training class.

2. Teach her the 4 rules, and how to run the gun, then shut the heck up. Let her shoot it however she wants to shoot it as long as she is being safe. Go shooting with her, and mind your own target. She will either shoot better than you (in that case, maybe she can teach you!), or you will shoot better than her (in that case, maybe she will realize it and ask for some tips). Don't give her coaching unless she asks for it.
 
What do you do if your wife or girlfriend simply rolls her eyes at your advice?
My wife wants to get her CCL this weekend, maybe, and for the past day or so I have been trying to give her various tips on stance, aiming (with both eyes open), proper weapon handling, various ways of carrying, etc. Yet, she either seems put out or quite bored with what I have to say regarding this stuff.

Now, she is headstrong and stubborn, but I would think she could at least acknowledge that I know more about this stuff than she does and that she could actually somewhat benefit from my advice. Alas....this is not the case for now.
Click to expand...

Sounds like the problem may not be the advice so much as the demeanor in which it is delivered.

You can also ask her to spend some time at The Cornered Cat website.
Click to expand...

...which as I recall has a nice section on why husbands/boyfriends should not teach their significant others to shoot so much as have a professional do it.
 
Nearly everyone, including wives, need to learn for themselves. Sad fact of life, and the cause of unlimited misery.

Unless she asks for help, your only role is encourage her intent and effort. Beyond that, shut up 'til asked.
 
roll

AS a older brother with nine sisters and then being marreid and having five daughters
I can and will say this, if someone tells you they have the answer to what helps control or manage a woman, then they are an idiot.
hehehe, I always thought having so many sisters would not be an issue, whew, let me tell you, then this joke of having five daughters 32-19 just about caused all my hair, my waist line, me health to go out the door looking for vindacation from the hell called fatherhood of women.
Good luck with your quest, and I will offer one small piece of advice,
Hire someone to teach her, and reap the benefits, your life will be easier and there will be no I told you so's, only appreciation for understanding that you understood her position.
Now do I understand what i just wrote, hell no, but she will, believe me.
old fat guy, :eek:
 
I'd recommend finding somebody else to help train your significant other.

It has been my experience that wives, girlfriends, etc, tend to take training as more of a personal attack than honest instruction when given by their boyfriends/husbands. Why? No clue...

If you can find a club that has a few female regulars, ask them to help you train, or, find an outside instructor.

I have been that outside instructor on numerous occasions and have NEVER figured out why the lassies have NO problems abiding by my coaching and yet will bicker and argue when their significant others do the same.


Women....
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

R
  • Locked
Wife/Girlfriend is ANTI! What to do??
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Replies
226
Views
10K
rangerruck
R
I
  • Locked
What type of firearm does your girlfriend/wife use for self defense?
2 3 4
Replies
96
Views
3K
armoredman
armoredman
D
  • Locked
Do you hide your holster when company is over?
2 3
Replies
54
Views
3K
Elza
E
JohnKSa
  • Locked
Don't buy your wife or girlfriend a gun!
2
Replies
37
Views
2K
Vic303
V
F
  • Locked
What gun does the woman in your life have?
2 3 4 5
Replies
111
Views
4K
Okiecruffler
O
Back
Top