Guns and dating.

[mljdeckard]

I have found myself abruptly thrust back into the dating scene. (Short off-topic story.)

I find myself wondering about all kinds of things I thought I wouldn't ever need to again. Particularly, is there a particular way to handle telling your new romantic prospects that you are carrying?

Is it a good idea to let them know you are armed when you don't know each other very well?

Should you tell them when you first meet that you are armed?

If they freak out, do you say; "Oh well, it wouldn't have worked out anyway", or do you take some time to try to calm them down and bring them around, leave the gun home for a while?

Just things I am wondering about.

 

[Overkilll0084]

If the date proceeds to the point where it's discovery is imminant, tell her then. Not over salad at the restarant. Besides, if the date goes south early, she didn't need to know. You really should keep quiet with it until it stops being a date and becomes a relationship. By then you should have found the opportunity to bring up the subject at some point and get an impression of how she views guns.

 

[ny32182]

The last thing I would do is just up and tell a date I barely know, that I'm carrying. I probably just wouldn't carry in that situation if I had the choice. In SC you can't carry anywhere that alcohol is served anyway, so if your date involves dinner, the state laws eliminate the issue.

 

[HorseSoldier]

I had similar concerns and on my first (blind) date with my now wife told her that I wasn't carrying because "blind date with a guy with a gun" seemed like it could have some disturbing overtones, but ordinarily CCW all the time. She told me I was silly and to never not carry on her account again, which was pretty much the first clue that she was a keeper.

 

[ForumSurfer]

I know them well enough that the topic has been discussed before the first date.

The older I get, the more intensive the pre-screening is and I've gotten pretty good at working firearms into the conversation well before I ask her to dinner.

 

[Justin]

Get it out of the way on the first date.

When I was dating, I'd tell them that I was a competitive shooter, and that I attended matches often on weekends and some weekdays.

Oddly enough, none of the women I ever went out with recoiled in horror over this.

 

[FourTeeFive]

You might mention it right before physical contact where she might feel the gun. Hopefully at that point she'll have other things on her mind...

;-)

 

[hoodfu]

I'd 2nd the competitive shooting idea method. I recently did this with a couple of dates and I found it was way more socially acceptable to be involved with a sport than to be some weirdo that spends time shooting alone at a range. I found it works well when meeting new friends as well, when you don't know their stance on guns ahead of time.

 

[bcp280z]

I carry anyway on first dates, come to think of it, I don't ever not carry. I usually try to work in the shooting as one of my hobbies in a discussion, then hopefully they are intrigued and would like to see one of my wares or go with me some time, then I'd let them know, but otherwise I don't tell em til it gets more intimate/relationship, and if the date goes really well, sometimes it gets awkward as I have to explain it while it's laying in my pants....on her floor.

 

[moonpie]

if restaurants in utah are like alabama drinking won't be an issue.if exes in utah are like exes in alabama she might find out you're carrying before you can tell her

 

[KarenTOC]

I like this approach:

I had similar concerns and on my first (blind) date with my now wife told her that I wasn't carrying because "blind date with a guy with a gun" seemed like it could have some disturbing overtones, but ordinarily CCW all the time.

"Bind date with a guy with a gun" would make me very nervous - unless the friend who fixed us up briefed me beforehand, and vouched for his sanity

So far, the issue hasn't come up. I haven't met any guys that like guns, let alone carry them.

 

[goon]

I agree with keeping it quiet until you know where things are going. Having said that, few of the girls I know who weren't familiar with guns have been put off by my interest in them. Most that I've taken to the range for the first time have really enjoyed shooting and understand exactly why guns are so important to me. I can't see it ever being an issue with someone I'd be compatible with, but it's best to not blindside someone with it right away.

 

[Semyon Vasilii]

I like this approach:



"Bind date with a guy with a gun" would make me very nervous - unless the friend who fixed us up briefed me beforehand, and vouched for his sanity

So far, the issue hasn't come up. I haven't met any guys that like guns, let alone carry them.

you obviously arent hanging around the right people/places haha

 

[22-rimfire]

I would not mention it at all during the early dating period. If the relationship develops, probably then. If it even matters, you have enough invested in the relationship to decide if you want to continue to carry when you are with them or being with them is worth more to you. I suspect you will already know their views on 2A.

 

[Remo223]

There's no good way to do it. If they are going to freak out about guns, its just not going to work. I never had a girlfriend get freaked out about guns until about 5 years ago. I was getting pretty serious with this girl. She came inside my house before going to a birthday party one evening. I had a handgun laying on the kitchen counter...never even thought about it. She saw it and literally freaked out. Turns out her husband committed suicide with a gun after a long struggle with a gambling addiction and left her with a house double mortgaged and debt up the wazoo. She lost everything. And guess what? she blamed the gun not the gambling addiction. After getting screamed at for awhile, she left and never spoke to me again.

 

[buck460XVR]

Me thinks you worry too much. When do you tell other new friends about your CCW? Why would a new female friend be any different? If it's gonna expand into a relationship you gotta be friends first. If you're afraid of losing a one night stand because of your CWC, leave the gun at home and take along other protection..........just sayin'.

 

[mr.trooper]

You need to tell them very early - just use some sense when doing it.

I would just work it into the natural conversion that you hunt/target shoot/whatever and see how they react. Those are defacto admissions to owning firearms.

I made it a point to tell my wife, and the girl I dated before her, that I own and carry guns with valid permit very early on (first or second date), and it worked out very well on both occasions.

The fact is, if they don't accept you or your beliefs, then it would never have worked out anyway.

 

[JustinJ]

"Me thinks you worry too much."

Agreed. Besides, it will give you plenty of opportunities to make jokes about what you have in your pants. On second thought, that may not be a good idea on the first date.

 

[usmarine0352_2005]

.


Became much easier once I became a cop. lol.





Before I wouldn't say anything until they finally found out about it and asked. I'd say, I have a permit to carry and it's my gun (in a holster). Never had a problem.

.

 

[Old krow]

Personally I'd put more focus on just relaxing and trying to enjoy myself. I might go the "competitive shooting" route, but that's about as far as I'd care to take it. I think that it's probably something that would need to be gotten out of the sooner rather than later, but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

"Bind date" would make me very nervous

Could have just it left it at that.

 

[fallout mike]

My brother has a long distance relationship that's only been on for a short time. She came here to see him this week for a week. The day she got here my brother and I already had plans to shoot. She had never been around guns or shot one. She wanted to and got to shoot most of what I took with us. And she was grinning ear to ear. I told him she's a keeper.

 

[KingMedicine]

I personally dont carry, but i had something of this issue happen on my first date. She asked what i like to do for fun, i brought up that i like to go target shooting in the desert. Supprising enough, she then asked after dinner to go check out my collection.

One thing lead to another...

we're still dating, and she wants her own Chief Special .38... =) Where did you think it led to...

 

[Birdmang]

I've gotten with some good looking women thanks to taking them shooting. Seems like most girls from Chicago have never touched/fired a gun before.

 

[CraigC]

Be open and honest about shooting but don't throw it up in their face either. You should know before the first date whether or not they have a problem with guns. If shooting is an important part of your life, as it is mine, weed the them out quickly. For me, it is a dealbreaker. As far as concealed carry, it's supposed to be "concealed". Would you tell some dude you just met that you're carrying? Probably not. Wait until the appropriate time, which is probably never on a first date.

 

[zfk55]

During a hug... Her to him:
So....... Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Him: Well....... actually..............