long story, how I about got attacked
- Thread starter mark345
- Start date
- Status
DHJenkins
Member
One of the first lessons you learn when you work at a night club is to never get involved in a couple's dispute.
I don't know how many times I've seen a guy hit his date and get put on the ground, only to have the girl attack the staff screaming "don't touch my ..."
It boggles the mind.
I understand it's difficult if you have a female friend, but you don't want to be a male hanging around in the middle of her brake-up. That can lead to nasty accusations and make things much worse.
I don't know how many times I've seen a guy hit his date and get put on the ground, only to have the girl attack the staff screaming "don't touch my ..."
It boggles the mind.
I understand it's difficult if you have a female friend, but you don't want to be a male hanging around in the middle of her brake-up. That can lead to nasty accusations and make things much worse.
We all make our own decisions, but I'm going to stand by my position of never under any but the most dire circumstances intervene in a domestic dispute. Family or not. I've had to respond to too many of them over the years and often well meaning family members make things worse.
Besides the physical danger involved in intervening, you have the added danger of criminal charges if you make threats or step in and physically remove the person you aren't related to. It's best to stay as far away from a domestic as you can.
Besides the physical danger involved in intervening, you have the added danger of criminal charges if you make threats or step in and physically remove the person you aren't related to. It's best to stay as far away from a domestic as you can.
VERY true.
The last time that I got myself into something like that was in college.
Same ol' story... they fight, you get dragged into it, and then they make up and forgive EACH OTHER.
But they BOTH end up blaming YOU forever.
You'll be surprised how much of the blame she'll transfer to YOU in her mind to save a relationship with an abusing sack of feces.
In these circumstances, NO good deed goes unpunished.
-- John
Jeff makes a very good point.
The only thing I can add is that hindsight is 20/20, so you can make note of what you should have done differently and be better prepared for the next time.
Events like this are prime opportunities to learn more about yourself and your nature. The trick is to take what you learn about yourself and use it to recognize and control your natural tendencies/reactions when they are about to get you into trouble.
You know what's better than a damsel in distress?
One that isn't.
You'll figure it out once you get a little older.
Here's what I've figured from this story.
You're young, probably early 20's.
She's attractive. You said she's nuts but has a live-in boyfriend. Very few guys outside of the more low-rent trailer parks will put up with an ugly chick with an attitude.
Correlation from number 2-you want to sleep with her. And this is what it all boils down to. You forgot which head to think with.
Don't feel bad, many of us have done it.
One that isn't.
You'll figure it out once you get a little older.
Here's what I've figured from this story.
You're young, probably early 20's.
She's attractive. You said she's nuts but has a live-in boyfriend. Very few guys outside of the more low-rent trailer parks will put up with an ugly chick with an attitude.
Correlation from number 2-you want to sleep with her. And this is what it all boils down to. You forgot which head to think with.
Don't feel bad, many of us have done it.
Duke of Doubt
member
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2008
- Messages
- 2,863
Maelstrom: "Don't feel bad, many of us have done it."
Oh, ayuh. About fifteen years ago me and three buddies basically broke into a Chicago apartment to retrieve my GF's stuff from the place on the sly doublequick. She wasn't on the lease, so we essentially committed trespass and, arguably, burglary (though not on the merits). We only took her stuff, but still -- dumb. Got lucky (again).
Oh, ayuh. About fifteen years ago me and three buddies basically broke into a Chicago apartment to retrieve my GF's stuff from the place on the sly doublequick. She wasn't on the lease, so we essentially committed trespass and, arguably, burglary (though not on the merits). We only took her stuff, but still -- dumb. Got lucky (again).
A long time ago,
I came home to my apartment after leaving work early on afternoon, which was in my name only, and found all my stuff piled outside with fire ants moving in.
My key worked in the front door knob, but the one-sided deadbolt was thrown from the inside. Both cars were mine, and in my name, but the car I let her drive wasn't there. Somebody else's car was in my driveway.
She was home but wouldn't let me in.
I climbed my backyard fence, and popped the sliding glass door out of the track, and entered my kitchen.
There was some guy there with her; he ordered me to leave and threatened me with my own baseball bat.
I left, got my trunk gun out of my car, came back with a finger on the trigger, and ordered him to leave. He refused & continued threatening me (in spite of my holding a gun pointed at the floor), and I ordered him to lay flat on the floor. She tried to grab my gun repeatedly and was throwing dishes at me, so I was distracted and dancing around my apartment. I was about a tenth of a second away from deciding his was going to charge me, but he laid down. The police took forever to come. They claimed they couldn't hear what was going on over her screaming at me. Admittedly my phone was super cheap and the connection was static-y.
It took me another 3 months to get out of that relationship.
Looking back, there were three idiots there that day. Try to be less of an idiot than we were.
I came home to my apartment after leaving work early on afternoon, which was in my name only, and found all my stuff piled outside with fire ants moving in.
My key worked in the front door knob, but the one-sided deadbolt was thrown from the inside. Both cars were mine, and in my name, but the car I let her drive wasn't there. Somebody else's car was in my driveway.
She was home but wouldn't let me in.
I climbed my backyard fence, and popped the sliding glass door out of the track, and entered my kitchen.
There was some guy there with her; he ordered me to leave and threatened me with my own baseball bat.
I left, got my trunk gun out of my car, came back with a finger on the trigger, and ordered him to leave. He refused & continued threatening me (in spite of my holding a gun pointed at the floor), and I ordered him to lay flat on the floor. She tried to grab my gun repeatedly and was throwing dishes at me, so I was distracted and dancing around my apartment. I was about a tenth of a second away from deciding his was going to charge me, but he laid down. The police took forever to come. They claimed they couldn't hear what was going on over her screaming at me. Admittedly my phone was super cheap and the connection was static-y.
It took me another 3 months to get out of that relationship.
Looking back, there were three idiots there that day. Try to be less of an idiot than we were.
To the OP:
They deserve each other!
You have my sympathy. I've been involved in weirdness like that too.
Next time, stay away. You can't help someone that won't help themself. Chivalry is useless in that situation.
Thanks for the post, it was a good reminder for me.
They deserve each other!
You have my sympathy. I've been involved in weirdness like that too.
Next time, stay away. You can't help someone that won't help themself. Chivalry is useless in that situation.
Thanks for the post, it was a good reminder for me.
BikerRN
member
With the maturity you showed, or lack there of, by getting involved in this situation tells me you lack the maturity to carry a firearm.
Not a knock on you, just a fact. Hey, I was the same way once. I think I was 16 y/o or so the last time. Actions have consequences. You might want to start thinking about your actions and being responsible for yourself and let others worry about and help themselves.
Don't let others lead you down a road you can't find your way back from. This saga has all the makings of being one of those. I would've given her the number to the Domestic Crisis Line and maybe a Suicide Prevention Line, but I wouldn't have gone over there and I wouldn't have talked to her any longer than it took to say, "Here's a number to someone that may be able to help you."
BikerRN
Not a knock on you, just a fact. Hey, I was the same way once. I think I was 16 y/o or so the last time. Actions have consequences. You might want to start thinking about your actions and being responsible for yourself and let others worry about and help themselves.
Don't let others lead you down a road you can't find your way back from. This saga has all the makings of being one of those. I would've given her the number to the Domestic Crisis Line and maybe a Suicide Prevention Line, but I wouldn't have gone over there and I wouldn't have talked to her any longer than it took to say, "Here's a number to someone that may be able to help you."
BikerRN
Mark, the most valuable lesson is not to let it happen again, my wife had a "girlfriend" stay over night. Surprise, her boyfriend showed up 10 minutes later. I go to bed cause I got to get up early. Maybe an hour passes and I hear a knock on the door and foolishly I open it and in storms in this guy claiming he is her husband and wanting to know where his wife is! I was in condition what the hell and believe me it was not pleasant. Husband yelling through locked bedroom door at her and finally gets convinced to go home when I tapped him upside the head with my 1911 (to get his attention). I have a family and I figured out fast that this espisode is going to end NOW. He left and I tossed the other two idiots out also. Somehow the fact that she was married was never brought up to me. Yep, plan A does happen, your alive and yes there are stupid people out there. Oh, I got divorced once I figured out my wife enjoyed being a member of that run wild crowd.
Last edited:
DFW1911
Member
I think this covers it nicely:
and
summarize it nicely, especially your recognition to not get sucked into situations that can really escalate into some serious trouble.
Nothing to feel shame or embarrassment over, things like this happen and I think you handled it great.
Thanks for sharing.
Take care,
DFW1911
and
summarize it nicely, especially your recognition to not get sucked into situations that can really escalate into some serious trouble.
Nothing to feel shame or embarrassment over, things like this happen and I think you handled it great.
Thanks for sharing.
Take care,
DFW1911
What everyone else said, x10.
I work in the mental health field, so I get to see how and where these "bad decisions" folks end up. She doesn't need rescued from her bad decisions, she lives for them. She just likes manipulating other well-meaning folks like yourself into joining her side so she has backup, but really she is as bad as the guy is. He's a multiple felon, she likes hanging out, dating, and fighting with multiple felons, ergo they deserve each other.
Next time you get that phone call say "call the cops if you're so worried, or learn to control yourself, it ain't my job..."
Run, don't walk, from people like her, as they are a bottomless pit that sucks you in and uses you up.
gp911
I work in the mental health field, so I get to see how and where these "bad decisions" folks end up. She doesn't need rescued from her bad decisions, she lives for them. She just likes manipulating other well-meaning folks like yourself into joining her side so she has backup, but really she is as bad as the guy is. He's a multiple felon, she likes hanging out, dating, and fighting with multiple felons, ergo they deserve each other.
Next time you get that phone call say "call the cops if you're so worried, or learn to control yourself, it ain't my job..."
Run, don't walk, from people like her, as they are a bottomless pit that sucks you in and uses you up.
gp911
Defense Minister
Member
You have received some really good advice here, and most of it more than once. Now, listen to it!
I do want to second what beatcop said: PEPPER SPRAY. This is a $7 item that really helps bridge the gap between "staying out of harm's way" and "shooting till slide lock". You may still have ended up in trouble had you sprayed the guy in your particular situation, since you were in his home throwing his stuff in the garage, but it would be a lot less trouble than if you had killed him.
I am glad to see that you are carefully processing the idea of carrying a firearm, and that you are not too proud to ask for advice.
I do want to second what beatcop said: PEPPER SPRAY. This is a $7 item that really helps bridge the gap between "staying out of harm's way" and "shooting till slide lock". You may still have ended up in trouble had you sprayed the guy in your particular situation, since you were in his home throwing his stuff in the garage, but it would be a lot less trouble than if you had killed him.
I am glad to see that you are carefully processing the idea of carrying a firearm, and that you are not too proud to ask for advice.
I am a new member to this forum and I have to say that this has been the most impressive thread that I have read so far. It's nice to see that so many people have intelligent advice to give.
May I suggest that the OP read the book, "In the Gravest Extreme", by Masad Ayoob.
He brings up very serious considerations if you are going to use a firearm. You've taken a life. You'll have to live with that. You most likely will be charged with murder. You'll have to face the dead persons family. The media may have a field day with you. You may end up in jail. You may loose your job, your respect, etc.
He talks about the moral obligation of a person who is carrying a gun of avoiding any situation where he might have to use the gun.
His title is serious. The Gravest Extreme. period.
May I suggest that the OP read the book, "In the Gravest Extreme", by Masad Ayoob.
He brings up very serious considerations if you are going to use a firearm. You've taken a life. You'll have to live with that. You most likely will be charged with murder. You'll have to face the dead persons family. The media may have a field day with you. You may end up in jail. You may loose your job, your respect, etc.
He talks about the moral obligation of a person who is carrying a gun of avoiding any situation where he might have to use the gun.
His title is serious. The Gravest Extreme. period.
ojibweindian
Member
I worked on a psych unit for four and a half years while putting myself through college. My conclusions, garnered from those years, mirror yo
chuckusaret
member
If it was in self defence the main thing is that you are still alive and over time will forget the event are at least learn to live with it.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked