Packing on First Few Dates

[Dorryn]

I find conservative girls usually don't take care of themselves as well and so are less physically attractive, and aren't as fun.

Looks fade, brains last. You keep your dirt-for-brains Paris Hilton, and ill keep my cute as hell, conservative, gun-loving fiance'. Contact me 10 years from now to see how much better my plan worked than yours.

And theoretically, you should be going on "first d ates" with women you at least knew were reasonably rational given that you are enough of a gun nut to be posting in an online forum dedicated to such.

 

[wooderson]

I would disagree and say that she has no "right" to know whats in your pants (be it your gun, whats in your wallet, your favorite style of undies, or other) unless you choose to share it with her. I don't see much point in hiding it, but I don't think you should be under any obligation to offer it upfront.

If you were just two people passing on the street - no, she doesn't get a say or even knowledge. But if she's going to spend time with you (and presumably the idea is that one date will lead to another), she deserves to know up front (for both individuals' sakes and to make the date happier for everyone).

 

[Joey_the_Wolf]

I don't have a CCW yet so I don't carry (gotta wait a few more months till I'm 21, and I'm also in the process of joining the Navy, so I probably won't be able to carry until I live off base), but I plan on always carrying whenever I legally can. And personally I wouldn't date anyone who would have a big problem with my ownership and carrying of firearms.
But I'll tell you this though, I usually take the girl on a date to the shooting range pretty early on. Like second or third date. You'd be surprised how often that breaks the ice on the whole subject, and usually leads to them better understanding the whole gun subject.

For example, I have a friend who is one of these "VERY artsy liberal starbucks coffe drinking tofu eating" types (that's about as well as I can describe it, LOL). I tried dating her a couple of years ago, but it didn't really work out, however, we're still friends to this day, and I actually took her to the range not all that long ago, and she absolutely loved it. She loved it enough that she's even considering getting a gun of her own one day... even though she's a card carrying, NYU loving liberal ... I may not really change her political views too much, but at least I helped change her views on gun ownership. People tend to fear what they know nothing about, so if you teach them, some of that fear goes away, and I've found that alot of people are natrually curious, so it doesn't take that much to get them to come with you for a day at the range.

So yeah, my advice is to bring the subject up as something fun (like taking her out to the range one day), and go from there. I find that this works pretty well for women, especially if you take the time to talk to them about safety, responsibility, and stuff like that... they usually like that alot.

Well... that's my view on that.

 

[Eleven Mike]

Man, I'm nervous enough on a first date, and now I have to worry she might be packing?

 

[Bobarino]

i posted a thread about this a few months ago when i became single again and started dating again. i wasn't sure what i should to about it either. i didn't want to go unarmed but i didn't want to freak out a date either. i ended up doing what i always do, and that is carry everywhere its legal to do so. i made it a point to have dates walk on my weak side so they wouldn't accidentally brush up against it, made sure hugs were done with her arms around my shoulders and not my waist, and took other precautions as to not cause alarm. its worked 100% so far. i've only told one lady about it and that's the girl i'm currently seeing. once i had realized that i'd like to spend more time with her, i figured i'd better let her know. i had brought up the fact that i shoot in casual conversation before and not only was she ok with it, but she wants to come shooting with me soon too so i figured it was ok to let her know. it was. she was a little surprised to learn that i was armed on all our dates but that actually impressed her to learn that i conceal well. so far so good.

i'd say, don't change anything about your normal habits. be you, carry like you normally would, and if the girl can't accept it or freaks out if/when she learns, then there is already a big issue between the two of you and caution should be excercised proceeding any further in the relationship.

on a side note, i think i found me a keeper this time!

Bobby

 

[wooderson]

now I have to worry she might be packing?

Must... resist.

 

[Eleven Mike]

Packing a gun, I meant.

 

[John Wesley]

If you change who you are then that seems less than honest to me. I wouldn't change who I am or what I normally do to impress a girl.

It wouldn't necessarily be a topic of conversation on my first date (although it was in the case of my wife!) but she will find out sooner or later. I'd prefer not to waste my time if she turns out to be a firm anti.

I can easily recommend a "first date" to the range!

 

[Eleven Mike]

Leaving the gun at home isn't meant to impress, John. My wife would have been pretty freaked out by my carrying a gun on our first date. But since I showed her how, she really likes shooting.

 

[stoky]

"Oh that. It's just part of my clothes, I hardly every shoot anybody with it."
Phillip Marlow in Murder My Sweet

 

[Soybomb]

But if she's going to spend time with you (and presumably the idea is that one date will lead to another), she deserves to know up front

By this standard all your friends, family, and coworkers should know you carry then?

 

[wooderson]

My family was more gung-ho about getting a CHL than I (went together to a class when I was unavailable, actually), and I would have no problem informing my friends.

I don't really have co-workers - but when I worked jobs where I did I would have been expressly prohibited anyway.

 

[razorburn]

Looks fade, brains last. You keep your dirt-for-brains Paris Hilton, and ill keep my cute as hell, conservative, gun-loving fiance'. Contact me 10 years from now to see how much better my plan worked than yours.

And theoretically, you should be going on "first d ates" with women you at least knew were reasonably rational given that you are enough of a gun nut to be posting in an online forum dedicated to such.

Well, I'm fairly liberal in all things besides gun control, so it's fine with me. I've never had a girl take issue with the guns thing after we've already been together a while and like each other. Besides I get along well in all other aspects with sexy liberal girls, they're actually very nice and pleasant, and a lot more fun than conservative girls. Who was it that said if you're not a liberal before age 30, you don't have a heart, and if you're not a conservative after 30, you don't have a brain? Fun is a part of personality. I'll take an sexy, exciting, energetic liberal girl anyday, who'll go to Cabo and cruises with me, doing bad karaoke/hot tubbing/partying till 5 in the morning in the tropics over study dates and 7pm movie nights with a buttoned down, plaid slathered, cross wearing conservative girl anyday of the week.

 

[Soybomb]

My family was more gung-ho about getting a CHL than I (went together to a class when I was unavailable, actually), and I would have no problem informing my friends.

I don't really have co-workers - but when I worked jobs where I did I would have been expressly prohibited anyway.

Sadly not all of us are that lucky. There are certainly some friends that I don't mind knowing, but I don't want everyone that I know to know that I carry. Similarly I see no reason why a casual acquaintance or coworker should deserves to know. Why do these people deserve to know?

 

[BobMcG]

If you always carry, this is who you are and the way you choose to live your life. You're better off with someone who understands this right from the start. Doing it any different is you being a fake. It's like starting out a relationship with a lie you know?..You're hiding something from someone right from start and that just doesn't make sense to me. It might not be acceptable to them either (when the truth comes out).

 

[-terry]

+2 Wooderson. You've got the right of it, I think. I just started to carry and my wife is not very happy about it. She said that I was "Grandfathered in" (bad choice of words in my opinion), but that if I had been carrying on our early dates and she found out about it, she'd have split.

 

[Prince Yamato]

I've had people freak out that I carry pepper spray (2 months and counting until my CHL arrives in the mail) so I can only imagine the reaction if they knew i had a gun. But you know what? It also depends on the person. If you are a typically kind, gentle person, and carry, the woman will be less threatened. If you start blabbling about your militia, talk about all the cool camo you own, and then start demeaning everyone who doesn't carry, you probably won't be going on a second date.

If you act paranoid on the first date, she'll read it. No one want to date someone who's shifty and acts like the boogeyman is out to get him.

 

[Notch]

First off... Its a first date. You have NO responsibility (and its insane) to tell her ahead of time that you are licensed and carrying... She will never know unless you want her too. I am not advocating treating firearms as a dirty little secret but, I wouldnt blab to the waitress at a bar or a clerk or someone I am out with for the first time that I am heavy.

But the most important reason is

Carrying a firearm for protection "some of the time" does you NO GOOD.

 

[Caimlas]

if a girl who doesn't know me very well finds out I have a gun with me on our date, she might freak out and think I'm psycho.

If you end up getting serious with a girl like that, you're better off using that gun on yourself now than mess with her anymore.

Also, if you just carry and make light of it, what's she to know? If she finds out somehow (preferably before you start taking off your clothing in your or her bedroom), just tell her you're licensed by the state in a similar fashion to police officers - you just haven't been commissioned for law enforcement - if the topic comes up. If she flips her lid, just walk away (slowly, and backwards - you never can trust those types, ever).

 

[psyopspec]

1) Pack. Broach the topic of 2A/firearms sometime in the first couple dates. Coming clean right away saves a lot of time in the future.

2) Go to the range for a first date - problem solved.

 

[pictoblu]

If carry is part of your personna, and you have CCW, then do it. Obviously.

If you do not ordinarily carry, and have scheduled a rendezvous, re: a social encounter type date, with a girl who might elicit you to use deadly force...

I would not be likely to schedule a rendezvous, social hour, what have you?, with a person of that description.

I'm over 50 also.

 

[Smurfslayer]

Bring it

Make it a shooting date A nice trip to an indoor range, or outdoor if none are available, stop, clean up, head out for other pursuits.

Now you've gotten the "gun thing" out in the open and (s)he will know you're not a nutjob.

+1 on maybe leaving your mom at home.

 

[BenjaminR]

Pack heat, and without your mom

I love my mom dearly, but I don't let her make dating decisions for me. She gives me her thoughts, and I consider them, but I do what I think is best.

I also vouch for the trip to the range on the first date. I've done it once, but on a double date and both girls loved it...they especially loved my SKS.

-Benjamin

 

[Langenator]

Heh...I not only carried on my first date with my future wife (not the second-not allowed in Key Arena), but we went to the pistol range.

 

[Geronimo45]

Interesting thread, to say the least. Maybe it would make a difference to said skittish date what sort of gun your carried. A big, fullsized auto might be a bit more imposing than a pocket gun. But I dunno.

I think he's going to aforementioned mother & father for advice, not as partners on the date. After all, one does not want to make mistakes - does one? And who would know better than... though they probably forgot everything they knew back then...

As for me, dates be dashed. I'll proffer personal information* when I've got a pre-nup to keep my money to myself if SHTF matrimonially speaking.

*CC is quite personal. The whole purpose is that it is concealed and not known to be there in case all hades should break asunder. A fatmouthed female who liketh/hateth you can spread the news to the four winds - and it's possible that one of those winds would bop you on the bean to get said CC'd piece to upgrade from their Lorcin.