Using Your Collection to Intimidate Daughter's Boyfriends

[PennsyPlinker]

If you haven't raised your children with enough self worth to conduct themselves properly on a date, trying to intimidate their dates with threats of violence is too little, too late.

I will agree with you to a certain point on this Larry, even though I have posted my experience having been quite the opposite. Children are independent agents and not programmed robots. We did raise our daughters with a very high degree of self worth, but there are some things on a date that they just can't control. In my example above, my chief threat to the young men was their driving. The girls can't do too much about that if the boy decides to speed, run stop signs, red lights, etc.

Just a little follow up for you and the rest who say threats don't work. First, the threat have to be believed, regardless of intent. Second, they do work. The boys I describe above drove like perfect citizens while in the company of my daughters. When the girls were not with them, both reverted to their natural state of driving like reckless morons. One has two totaled vehicles to his credit and the other has one, plus two speeding tickets for going 80+ mph in a 45 zone on a two lane country highway. He lost his license and continued to drive anyway. By this time the girls had decided for themselves they wanted no parts of riding anywhere with these guys, and saw that Dad's threats not only worked, but he had a little sense after all.

What works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. I'm not much of a relativist, but in this case, I am.

Oh yeah, I was raised as a good boy in a good family, went to church every Sunday, etc, and the first and foremost thing on my mind was getting into my date's pants, just like every friend of mine. I have changed quite a bit since those days, and now that I have daughters, I am on the lookout for boys who are just like I used to be.

 

[M2Pilot]

Many years ago when I was a young smartas*, I'd stop by a country store on my way to work after school & buy a drink & nabs. This was one of the country stores with the potbellied stove & spit cans (home made cuspidors) & several "old boys" hanging out & swapping tells & solving the world's problems. The store's owner & others would commonly tease me about my sex life,ask me if I was getting much,offer to sell me rubbers etc. I bought rubbers there once. I had my first (of many) dates with the owner's daughter that night. When I picked her up he wasn't at home. When I took her home he was in the front room waiting for her. Her father never said amything about my purchase but the teasing at the store ceased. I'd have liked to have needed the rubbers but while I was seeing her his daughter remainded chaste.

 

[03Shadowbob]

Here's my take on it

My take might be a little different than most here but so am I.
When I was dating years ago, I was not intimidated or scared of many people ( I think most boys see themselves as bullet proof anyways). The only girls I respected in the sexual nature were the ones whose fathers I respected. I didn't want to lose that respect or confidence as I knew that would be the end of it.
I think the most important thing a father can do to a young man dating his daughter is to give him some respect. Remember "Give respect, get respect". You may also be teaching the young man a valuable life lesson about giving respect. Now, this rule only applies to those young men who are properly dressed, clean, on-time, knows his manners, etc. and have not had the respect revoked.
Of course there's always exceptions to the rule...I once dated a girl whose father was a Captain of the WPB force. He was about 6'2" and 265-275 and a bear of a man. The first time I pulled into their long driveway out west he was emptying his 9mm into an old bullet proof vest against a pine tree to see if the bullets would go through. The second time I met him he said "only faggots wear earrings and pointed shoes" and of course I had an earring and was wearing cowboy boots. I was immediately intimidated by this man but he also gave me some respect, not much, but some. As the years went on, he told me many a story about the good ole days on the force when almost anything went to get a confession. I am glad I never tested him. He was also the main reason I went into LE.
I also believe you have to train your daughters what to look for in people at an early age and this is not necessarily the outward appearance.
Just my 25 cents.

 

[Flopsy]

When I was 17, not even a loaded Desert Eagle pointed up my nose could have kept me from trying to get my girlfriend naked

 

[mtnbkr]

I'd stop by a country store on my way to work after school & buy a drink & nabs

I didn't even have to look at your Location to know you were from NC.

Chris

 

[bogie]

Oh yeah... The "shotgun cleaning for the boyfriend thing" is also just plain FUN... The whole idea is to appear both slightly crazy and highly protective... Better than halloween, unless it falls on halloween, and then you can dress for the part...

 

[Myself]

When my daughter brought her current man home for the first time she said "hey Dad why don't you show him your gun collection!!" About 90 minutes later he was thoroughly impressed and happy. What a nice find she made. I never worried about whether they were behaving. They took it upon themselves to inform me they were planing on waiting until marriage.

Once they get to that age they will make up their own mind. If you did your prep correctly then all you can do is hope and pray. PS. He in now my son in law.

 

[sonofodin]

When I was 17, not even a loaded Desert Eagle pointed up my nose could have kept me from trying to get my girlfriend naked.

. nothing stopped me, reread my post earlier about it lol. i pretty much did what i wanted since her daddy lives in a diff state and her step-dad couldent take me because i am bigger, stronger and trained in martial arts. so no, his bs speech dident stop me. oh boy did i love my 18th birthday .

 

[gaweidert]

A lot different in the olden days. If I ever mistreated a girl on a date, my father would have insured that I wouldn't have lived long enough for her father to get a hold of me. I still think that is the best system. I have used it on my sons and so far, so good.

 

[03Shadowbob]

gaweidert,
thank you for raising your boys this way. It keeps little girls like mine safer than anything anyone else could do. I plan on raising my boy the same way.
One other point..sometimes it doesn't matter if you are bigger, stronger, faster, martial arts expert, etc...if you piss off a girl's father to the point of rage...I put my money on the father anyday.

 

[ORAG]

No Daughter, Only a Son

As a little boy, my son loved candy canes at Christmas. Wife decorated the tree with them and each day he could eat one. For his 15th Birthday I stuffed his stocking with Candy Canes and Condoms. I made sure he knew what to do with them and how to get more. I was 16 once and knew that all the lectures and pissed off dads didn't have any effect in the back seat of a car. Now I wish he did have a son or daughter but that is another story.
I have laughed my butt off reading this thread.

 

[Waitone]

I'd stop by a country store on my way to work after school & buy a drink & nabs

I didn't even have to look at your Location to know you were from NC.

I believe the proper historical term is "dope and nabs".

 

[XD Fan]

When my daughter brought her current man home for the first time she said "hey Dad why don't you show him your gun collection!!"

I hope that I get this from my daughter when she is dating age. She is almost five right now.

I have jokingly said that when she is a teenager, she will not be allow to date unless wearing a t-shirt that says "My dad is a handgun enthuiast!"

 

[ProguninTN]

hey Dad why don't you show him your gun collection!!"

I would like to hear that.
ProguninTN

 

[carterbeauford]

The more I think about this...

My girlfriend's late father showed me his gun collection about 6 years ago. It was not immediately after we met, he was showing it to me as a fellow hunter, and as a matter of pride, not intimidation. I was 17, still fitting the description of a young kid who might want to do questionable things with a man's daughter. You know what? This gesture made me respect him. He had some nice guns. This was always something we shared in common. But in the end I still knew he had a couple 12 gauges.

You might try this along with my previous suggestion of taking the kid shooting. Not all teenagers are bad kids, just cursed with hormones.

 

[AJ Dual]

I do have to admit there is one upside to having all daughters.

You don't have to experience that little twinge of jealousy each time your son brings the next nubile young hottie he's had is paws all over through the door.

Well, at least I sincerely hope I won't experience that...

 

[tellner]

When Charles Barkley's daughter reached dating age a reporter asked him what he planned on doing. He replied "Shoot the first few boys who come by. Word will get around."

 

[TimboKhan]

God bless the round mound of rebound.

 

[Malice]

double tap

 

[Malice]

This thread has me confused. Unless we're talking about fathers being worried about date rape, then none of these comments are warranted at all.

I am 19, and I am in a long-term (for me that means 1 year this weekend) relationship with a girl I met when I got to college. I am much happier with this arrangment

But in high school, I was quite permiscuious. I had a new girlfriend every few months from the time I was 15. I dated all kinds of girls, rich girls from my neghiborhood, girls from the bad part of town, really hot girls, moderately attractive girls, popular ones, not so popular ones, white, black, hispanic, pakistani, indian, asian, random mixes of all of the above.

I met all of their parents, and their moms and dads were all different types of moms and dads.

And no matter their personality or character otherwise, the vast majority of them, when it came down to it, were very agressive about sex. I almost never had to "make a move" or anything of the sort, and I was fine with that.

This is not to imply that I am special in some way. I am not anything special looks wise, and I was just another Joe at my high school. My friends then and most of my friends in college now had and stil have a similar experience.

I guess I am trying to say that all of you dads out there are missing somthing. Gone are the days of the high school kids in letter jackets necking in the car where the boy urges the girl to go further, she resists but he convinces the otherwise pure and virtuous girl to do something she knows she shouldnt do.

Girls/women of my generation persue sex in the same way guys do. I sort of felt bad for the dads who thought their daughters were at a Christian youth group meeting or a Koran study group when they were really with me, and never found out.

The fact of the matter is, it is not the guy who you need to worry about. No matter how you raised your kids, it is not a matter of you raising them. You can raise your kids to be respectful, kind, not to cheat, steal, etc. But you cant raise them to not have sex until you approve of it, or to not do drugs. In our society, these are individual decisions that kids make. My parents raised me not to have sex until I am old enough to deal with the consequences. I decided for myself that it was worth the risk, and got lucky. They also raised me to not do drugs. I decided for myself that it was not somthing I wanted to do, and I didnt do drugs.

And no, I would not use guns to intimidate a daughter's boyfriend.

 

[50 Freak]

The actual use of firearms for this purpose is grossly in defiance of anything remotely resembling THR.

Ahhhh Baloney....I will resort to cleaning a 6 barreled minigun with a Q-tip if it will help in keeping the virtue of my daughter. Cause gosh, I've been that 15 year old boy and I know what goes through their minds....Besides, it's fun to make little snot nosed boys cringe with fear....

Funny story....I did have one of these things kinda happen to me. I picked up a girl at her house. As I was waiting downstairs, I looked over her fireplace and there was a picture of a scary looking dude holding a machine gun.....

When she came down, I asked...

"Ahhh....who's this guy in the picture?".

she responded

"oh, that's my daddy back in his military days....he works for the government now...he protects the president....and has a license to kill....why?"

I know the license to kill is a crock now a days, but back then, it scared the be-jezus out of me.

 

[redneckdan]

I never went through the gun intimidation thing. My high power team mate is also the dad of my girlfriend of almost 6 years. I never met his daughter until about 4 years after we started shooting together. I'll never forget the fate full night when he called me up to come check out his new ar-15 HBAR. His daughter wander out into the shop with some lemonade for us and upon introduction I could only squeek out a "hi" to her. Her dad obviously new what was up. A couple weeks later I was back over at his shop helping him sling a new transmission in his truck. Some how I worked up enough courage to ask permission to date his daughter. His response was "You're a man of honor, you have my permission". I don't know if it was the strength of his words or the fact I was attempting to bench press a 700-R4 but that moment has stuck with me ever since. Yes, I still am a man of honor.

 

[Brian Williams]

I have an Application to date my Daughter that every boy has to fill out before they can go anywhere.

 

[Larry Ashcraft]

redneckdan, The fact that you asked him for permission is what impressed him, I would have me.

Malice, I think most parents realize what you are saying. I watch my son and sons in law worrying about their (now toddlers) daughters when they come to dating age. When my daughters were old enough to date, I realized anything we had done or not done up until that time was irrelevent. Nothing was going to change nature. We could just hope for the best.

My oldest daughter started dating when I was about 40 years old. You really don't think my memory is that short, do you?

Luckily, both my daughters made (mostly) good choices. (So did my son, but this isn't about sons, is it?)

 

[The_Future]

As a 15 year old if a father did that to me I would probably end up BSin' with him until the girl was ready.

Like other's have said, we may be young be we aren't stupid, you really aren't going to kill me, unless I do something stupid to the point I deserve it.