Girlfriend Doesn't Approve of Carrying

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A few years ago my cousin got engaged. A few months later his girl made a comment in front of most of our family that after the marrige my cousin Tony won't go hunting anymore. We all paused and asked what was up and she said she didn't like the hunting but she agreed that she had no power 'till they were married'. Tony dropped her 3 days later.

My Brother in law started dating a girl and after just a few weeks she told him he wasn't allowed to get an AR cause it was an assault rifle. Let me be clear about this. She told him he "was not allowed". He dropped her 2 weeks later.

There's your advice.

Has she made you stop drinking beer during the week yet?
 
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What jpwilly forgot to mention is the reason he stayed at the Holiday Inn Express last night.

I'm guessing that the wife got mad when she found the gunbroker receipts. (j/k)

I don't think you can even call yourself a gun lover, unless you've had to explain to the wife that you can't go out for dinner until payday because you found a good deal on a gun.
 
I was at the Holiday Inn on business...Bawahaha.

All couples argue and don't always watch the same TV shows. But married life is much better when there's some common ground especially in the day to day routine. You are the man of the house and if she's not looking for a man let her find a boy to train in her ways. I'd be out.
 
I have BTDT (carrying with a permit), and in a large city (Indianapolis.) My first fiance was not an anti, per se, but steadily became the way you described about my carrying a firearm, despite the crime rates in Indy at the time I lived there. Gradually, it began to move on to other "toys" besides my firearms.

It is time to let go...Your GF's behaviour seems to be more irrational, especially with the the past shoving incidents.
 
She's been violent in the past, nothing "serious", shoving etc. But that was quite some time ago, and she learned that I won't take that. I packed up my stuff and said goodbye, and she ended up crying and telling me not to hate her.
It hasn't happened since, but still.
I know her fairly well, and I'd say that she isn't a "cop caller" type and I honestly believe that she would not use firearms against me with the law. Not to say it wouldn't happen, I'm just saying I don't believe it is within her logic.
It's also been brought to my attention that any kind of domestic disturbance (yelling etc.) can cause problems for me as far as potentially having my guns taken away (permanently or temporarily), which has led me to not rise to her challenges or yell back at her when she's spazzing out.
Click to expand...

Ok,

Here is my take...first and foremost...violent once then it's only a matter of time before she's violent again. What happens when you have kids present. I grew up in a violent household. My father was the abuser and many times I fought my dad off of my mom, sister or even myself. Now as a married man, I can not abide by anyone being a bully or violent. I would never have never even considered hitting my wife...or pushing her. That my friend is someone who is on the verge of snapping. I wouldn't let the door hit me where the good Lord split me.

Now, you mentioned that she insults you, calls you names etc. That reeks of verbal abuse, etc. I don't even tell my wife to shut up...not even when I'm mad at her. I totally respect her and vice versa. She does not respect you...and in her mind the relationship is all about her. If things do not go her way then she gets upset and tries to sabotage your self esteem...sounds like a winner to me.

I didn't spend two years with my wife before we were married (8 months and almost 3 weeks). I knew when I first met her that I found my wife...and the preceding months showed me that she respected me, encouraged me, and loved my hobbies...this is vice versa. We've been married now almost 9 years. My friend...think hard about what you want in your future...if my wife had done just one of those things I would have dropped her like a bad habit.

NH1
 
OK, I am a lot older than I care to admit. My 2nd wife and I have been married since 1984. My first wife...well, let's just say that nothing will make you appreciate a good one like a bad one ;) One thing I can say with absolute certainty, don't think that she (or he for the ladies) will change. They WON'T.
Find someone that shares the same interests as you. You'll have a happier life. But, I suspect that you already know that.
 
On top of what I said...you said "She's been violent in the past, nothing "serious", shoving etc."
 
"That kind of lashing out, insecurity, "jealousy", "screaming", "crying", "unreasonable-ness"and "hurling insults" are MAJOR PERSONALITY FLAWS that you know she has.

This has NOTHING to do with firearms...she has problems. Just look at the words that I quoted that you typed above to describe the girl that you are dating. They are your words...so why are you still with her?

This is not worth even convincing her. She will use this exact strategy to attempt to control you as much as she can. There is better out there, and you deserve it. "

On top of what I said...you said "She's been violent in the past, nothing "serious, shoving etc."",

Sorry to be so blunt...but how dense can you be. This girl is NOT long term material. You gotta know that man...COME ON.
 
Out of sight, out of mind. It used to tick my wife off when I would carry my g22 on my hip so I bought a kel tec pf9, now the issue never even comes up anymore.
 
If you totally exclude the fact that guns might be the only apparent issue, she might have similar traits to my elderly mother-in-law.
If I'm wrong, then disregard all of this.

I've listened to more than a dozen stories from my wife and her brother about how their mother had to control so many things in the family. Their Dad is 'far gone' now, but was the strong, silent type who allowed his wife to get away with so many unreasonable things (I can not do this). He was focused on his 30-year Army Quartermaster career a bit (Bastogne siege, attached to 101st Airborne etc), and seems to have delegated all of the detailed child-rearing. Very nice guy.

Her Mom had a controlling, but delicate ego, and made fun of the others at times just to improve her own image, could not handle even tactful criticism.
You have much more serious problems.

One must sometimes make a difficult Command Decision about a relationship Before a Baby suddenly 'is on the way', if there is time. This can require lots of courage and resolve, but friends or family can help.
Maybe it all revolves around how delicate/unstable the other person's ego is. Things often get worse with marriage. Imagine it with one or two children who you hope to be around as they grow up.......
 
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Trying not to go too far off topic, but still try and paint a picture.
She's been violent in the past, nothing "serious", shoving etc. But that was quite some time ago, and she learned that I won't take that. I packed up my stuff and said goodbye, and she ended up crying and telling me not to hate her.
It hasn't happened since, but still.
I know her fairly well, and I'd say that she isn't a "cop caller" type and I honestly believe that she would not use firearms against me with the law. Not to say it wouldn't happen, I'm just saying I don't believe it is within her logic.
It's also been brought to my attention that any kind of domestic disturbance (yelling etc.) can cause problems for me as far as potentially having my guns taken away (permanently or temporarily), which has led me to not rise to her challenges or yell back at her when she's spazzing out.
Click to expand...
Ok. You need to know that domestic violence is not just "man against woman", what she did and is doing right now is considered domestic violence. I know it's not glorious to be the victim as a man, she doesn't care for you and probably never will, if she did she would not manipulate you. She's 23, probably far from being emotionally stable and mature, all the girls I know who are around 23 are far from it. Your girlfriend probably will make victims like you all her life, do you want to be the victim all you life?
 
After reading all of this. All I can offer, is that you take measures to protect yourself legally. Get yourself out of that situation ASAP! You should know what to do. All you really need to know has already been said....by you.

Whatever the root cause is she is clearly unhappy and it's manifesting itself in her behavior. This is not something that you can fix, only she can do that.

Be prepared for the worst outcome you can imagine because it will be ugly. Once someone initiates violence, such behavior will only continue to escalate.

Please....consider this carefully. Your life is at stake in this matter.
 
LEAVE HER NOW! after reading the recent updates in this story I strongly believe that her behavior is completely unacceptable.

i have an idea, show her the (now 3) pages of responses and see wut she says, she may change her ways, OR you will have gotten rid of her really easily.
 
Get away from her NOW. That is a toxic relationship that is only going to bring you misery, stress, and an early death. And it may end up costing you your gun rights if she files a restraining order. Don't let her suck you in. I've known the type, and have seen the results of being married to someone like that on a person. Tell her that you're done. If she loved you, she wouldn't expect you to give up the things you love. A loving person is happy FOR you when you find something you enjoy.
 
I have been married for 28 years. Does my wife do everything I want her to do, no. Do I do everything she wants me to do, no. Have we argued, yes. Do we love each other, YES. Do we RESPECT each other, YES. Do we find common interest, absolutely. Our relationship is a partnership. Does this reflect relationship for you and your GF? IMHO, the reason marriages fail is one partner dominates the relationship. If this reflects your relationship, run. First it's the guns, then poker night, then sat/sun football, and it won't stop.
 
To be honest, she sounds just a little bit touched in the head. Flying off the handle and crying when you try to talk to her about something important? Personally, I would steer clear. There's a lot of nice ladies out there, or so I'm told.
 
Am I the only one that saw the post that she was shot at by a crazyman when she was 12yrs old???? The woman is scared of guns. Be patient, educate & understanding. If that doesn't work, tell her your going to carry anyways & then it's up to her to decide what to deal with or do (accept it or end the relationship).

Over time you might get her to accept it, but as already stated, your not gonna change someone that doesn't want to.
 
Pronghorn: That is imaginative, and could crystallize a quick resolution. But it would require real 'marbles' to do so.

They never improve by taking them to the altar. The ladies then have you legally committed to support them (with a child you now support for 18-21 years, who can be brain-washed against you; this happened to people I know).

And some who already (middle-aged) have grown children elsewhere -without telling you in advance before the altar- decide that it is beneath them to even get a job, even though bankruptcy lurks around the corner.
 
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I'd like to add that until you make your final decision, please keep all your guns and ammo unaccessable. If you do leave her, take all the guns and ammo out first and keep witnesses at all times.
 
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