NinjaFeint
Member
Well said...In fact, I never have good relationships with women who you could call 100% compatible. I guess for me, no tension equals no passion equals no interest.
Help! Anti-gun Girlfriend.
- Thread starter ArthurDent
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Kimber45acp
member
ArthurDent, you're making the easy mistake that most of us guys make or have made: you're trying to use logic, facts, and the truth, in an up front attempt to reason with her. When guns are not the topic, focus on how YOU are "liberal." Since that term means nothing, but SHE thinks it does, if you cherry pick some items where you agree with Obama and the Democrats, it will disarm her pre programmed sense of intellectual superiority.
Go AROUND her B.S. Arguing with her feeds into her power and drama with this issue. She needs to come over and see you cleaning an AK. She may whine at first, but women actually respect guys who DON'T beg permission to believe in the truth. Or she needs to see one laying around.
Go AROUND her B.S. Arguing with her feeds into her power and drama with this issue. She needs to come over and see you cleaning an AK. She may whine at first, but women actually respect guys who DON'T beg permission to believe in the truth. Or she needs to see one laying around.
David904
Member
I liked Hexidecimal's reply best of all.
My suggestion is not to overtly make efforts to convert her. Make sure you carry regularly as you normally would. Comport yourself as normal. She needs to see that people who carry guns are not lunatics teetering on the edge of a violent outburst. Somebody she cares about or loves now is a gun owner and carrier. That's not a small change in her worldview.
Just make sure that she sees you as a responsible decent person. Strongly encourage her to take a safety course - if for no other reason than to be able to render a pistol or rifle safe should a child come into the picture. It's like being able to drive a stick shift in case you had to - even if you only buy automatics.
She should see the logic in it and appreciate the fact that you take the responsibility seriously enough to take the safety of innocents and children into consideration.
Good luck. And don't forget... Dating is an interviewing process. You are determining if the two of you are compatible. Don't push it. Just see how it shakes out.
My suggestion is not to overtly make efforts to convert her. Make sure you carry regularly as you normally would. Comport yourself as normal. She needs to see that people who carry guns are not lunatics teetering on the edge of a violent outburst. Somebody she cares about or loves now is a gun owner and carrier. That's not a small change in her worldview.
Just make sure that she sees you as a responsible decent person. Strongly encourage her to take a safety course - if for no other reason than to be able to render a pistol or rifle safe should a child come into the picture. It's like being able to drive a stick shift in case you had to - even if you only buy automatics.
She should see the logic in it and appreciate the fact that you take the responsibility seriously enough to take the safety of innocents and children into consideration.
Good luck. And don't forget... Dating is an interviewing process. You are determining if the two of you are compatible. Don't push it. Just see how it shakes out.
Erik M
Member
If she has a Ph.D then she has been exposed to the most liberal left wing propaganda that major colleges have to offer. Shes been exposed to it at a collegiate level at least 8 years give or take. Your odds are near microscopic.
stchman
Member
There are other women in this world.
I have a feeling that the deeper you get in a relationship with this woman the more she will want you get rid of them completely.
Picture getting married to her and then having children. She will not want you to infect her children with the evil that are guns.
You will have to decide which is more important to you, your firearms or her. It has been my experience that liberals and conservatives are not the best couples.
My girlfriend does not want to own/shoot a gun but she does not tell me to get rid of mine. Hell when I went gun safe shopping she suggested I get the larger safe as to accommodate a growing collection. She even said she liked the color.
I have a feeling that the deeper you get in a relationship with this woman the more she will want you get rid of them completely.
Picture getting married to her and then having children. She will not want you to infect her children with the evil that are guns.
You will have to decide which is more important to you, your firearms or her. It has been my experience that liberals and conservatives are not the best couples.
My girlfriend does not want to own/shoot a gun but she does not tell me to get rid of mine. Hell when I went gun safe shopping she suggested I get the larger safe as to accommodate a growing collection. She even said she liked the color.
I'm quite annoyed with the "anti-PhD" quotes! I have a PhD, and my fellow classmates and I formed an informal shooting club on campus while in grad school. Having an advanced degree doesn't automatically make someone anti-gun. Maybe the PhD students in engineering spend their time designing guns. Art History though, I don't know.
My best advice is to just get a small informal friends together (both male and female) and go shooting. I just did that a few weeks ago with a friend here at work. Yes, she has a PhD, and yes, she sounded anti-gun when I first spoke with her. But, after taking her shooting, she was so excited about it she now wants to buy her OWN gun! And that was just a single day spend shooting! Pick "fun" targets, things that fall over, spin around, or pop when she hits them. Over the years, I've introduced several women to guns and shooting, and only one of them in my opinion wouldn't want to go back again. Try that and she might just be hooked.
If not, buy yourself a safe and tell her you promise to always keep the guns secure. There's alway's some middle ground you can compromise at.
My best advice is to just get a small informal friends together (both male and female) and go shooting. I just did that a few weeks ago with a friend here at work. Yes, she has a PhD, and yes, she sounded anti-gun when I first spoke with her. But, after taking her shooting, she was so excited about it she now wants to buy her OWN gun! And that was just a single day spend shooting! Pick "fun" targets, things that fall over, spin around, or pop when she hits them. Over the years, I've introduced several women to guns and shooting, and only one of them in my opinion wouldn't want to go back again. Try that and she might just be hooked.
If not, buy yourself a safe and tell her you promise to always keep the guns secure. There's alway's some middle ground you can compromise at.
Arkansas Paul
Member
NinjaFeint, you say shame on people who say to break up with her. In his original post, he asked for advice on dealing with the situation. When you do that, you open yourself up to other people's opinions. That's what he's getting. Our opinions.
Gun ownership has a different level of importance to different people. If it's really not that important to you, then go ahead and do whatever you want. It is very important to me however. My first conversation with her would have went like this, "What? You're anti gun? It was nice meeting you. Have a lovely day." I have been happily married for going on eight years now. I married a woman who shares my beliefs, for the most part. We don't agree on everything politically, but we don't disagree on anything that would change one anothers lifestyle. And guns and shooting are a HUGE part of my lifestyle.
I don't think that my opinion is any more valid than anyone else's. It is simply that. My humble opinion.
Gun ownership has a different level of importance to different people. If it's really not that important to you, then go ahead and do whatever you want. It is very important to me however. My first conversation with her would have went like this, "What? You're anti gun? It was nice meeting you. Have a lovely day." I have been happily married for going on eight years now. I married a woman who shares my beliefs, for the most part. We don't agree on everything politically, but we don't disagree on anything that would change one anothers lifestyle. And guns and shooting are a HUGE part of my lifestyle.
I don't think that my opinion is any more valid than anyone else's. It is simply that. My humble opinion.
LeontheProfessional
Member
I do not see a problem with a PhD in general. I am a student of Engineering and there are many I go to school with that love guns but that does not hold true throughout the University. The Social Sciences tend to be a lot more anti-gun.
That does not sound like middle ground but more so loosing ground. By keeping all of your guns locked up you are leaving the home defenseless.
That does not sound like middle ground but more so loosing ground. By keeping all of your guns locked up you are leaving the home defenseless.
DeepSouth
Random Guy
I know she isn't your wife but there is good info in these anyway.
The whole site is full of good info as well, if she ever does start getting into guns get her to take a look at it.
http://www.corneredcat.com/Men/wifehateguns.aspx
http://www.corneredcat.com/Men/recurring.aspx
Good luck, Your a better man than I.
The whole site is full of good info as well, if she ever does start getting into guns get her to take a look at it.
http://www.corneredcat.com/Men/wifehateguns.aspx
http://www.corneredcat.com/Men/recurring.aspx
Good luck, Your a better man than I.
Gungnir
Member
There's a lot of good advice here... If that doesn't work and you want to go hardcore on her, give her the information about Warren vs. DC.
Most of the time people who are anti, have a strong belief in "the police will help it's their job" Warren (in particular with women) tends to hit the spot if all else fails. Especially as this is a picture perfect example of how the "greater good" politics doesn't just fail, but also then demonstrates that "the greater good" has no responsibility.
Most of the time people who are anti, have a strong belief in "the police will help it's their job" Warren (in particular with women) tends to hit the spot if all else fails. Especially as this is a picture perfect example of how the "greater good" politics doesn't just fail, but also then demonstrates that "the greater good" has no responsibility.
Wow.
I can't believe all of the insulting comments directed towards Arthur's girlfriend here, especially those questioning her intelligence, by people who do not know her, nor know nothing about her other than she has a Ph.D. and is anti-gun.
If being pro-gun and not having a Ph.D. is a measure of intelligence, then I must be a Brain God, judging by the size of my gun collection ( ~ 100), my (past) work as a gun-rights activist, and my lack of any college degree.
And it's a scientific fact that every gun forum, gun shop, and gun range is just brimming with the most intelligent, most open-minded, and most rational people in the world.
You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
But then, it's the "other side" that's full of ignorance and hate, so it's OK to say things about Arthur's girlfriend that, if some liberal said about us, would be proof of what horrible people they are.
Thanks for reminding me of one of the reasons I'm no longer active in the gun rights movement.
I can't believe all of the insulting comments directed towards Arthur's girlfriend here, especially those questioning her intelligence, by people who do not know her, nor know nothing about her other than she has a Ph.D. and is anti-gun.
If being pro-gun and not having a Ph.D. is a measure of intelligence, then I must be a Brain God, judging by the size of my gun collection ( ~ 100), my (past) work as a gun-rights activist, and my lack of any college degree.
And it's a scientific fact that every gun forum, gun shop, and gun range is just brimming with the most intelligent, most open-minded, and most rational people in the world.
You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
But then, it's the "other side" that's full of ignorance and hate, so it's OK to say things about Arthur's girlfriend that, if some liberal said about us, would be proof of what horrible people they are.
Thanks for reminding me of one of the reasons I'm no longer active in the gun rights movement.
berettaprofessor
Member
You are asking the equivalent of what gun-owners/2A supporters collectively discuss and ask everyday on this forum; How do we get the other side to understand and accept our position? And the answer is, if the "other side" is basing their positions on emotional responses....you won't.
The danger you're in is that she may not really care what YOU do now (which I am assuming from your statement that she won't make you give up your guns) but that her "emotional response" can (and will) change over time; i.e. when you put a ring on her finger, when kids enter the household, when she's influenced by her friends, when the next door neighbor has a negligent discharge etc. You are fighting a battle that, depending on the depth of your own feelings towards 2A, you may win in the short run, but you'll be guaranteed to come out miserable in the long run.
Sorry, it may not be high-minded, but as others have said, the benefit of age and experience is that I can tell you that you should....run away.....fast.
The danger you're in is that she may not really care what YOU do now (which I am assuming from your statement that she won't make you give up your guns) but that her "emotional response" can (and will) change over time; i.e. when you put a ring on her finger, when kids enter the household, when she's influenced by her friends, when the next door neighbor has a negligent discharge etc. You are fighting a battle that, depending on the depth of your own feelings towards 2A, you may win in the short run, but you'll be guaranteed to come out miserable in the long run.
Sorry, it may not be high-minded, but as others have said, the benefit of age and experience is that I can tell you that you should....run away.....fast.
mljdeckard
Member
You're Arthur Dent? Arthur Philip Dent? (Pulling out my clipboard,)
It may happen, it may not. Anti-gun sentiments are emotional, not rational. It's a question of if her intellectual sense will overcome her emotions. It's also a question of how long it will take, it might not happen with you at all, it could be many years and several pertinent experiences down the road that snap it all into perspective for her.
All you can do for now is exactly what you are doing, and perhaps you will get to an accord you can both live with.
It may happen, it may not. Anti-gun sentiments are emotional, not rational. It's a question of if her intellectual sense will overcome her emotions. It's also a question of how long it will take, it might not happen with you at all, it could be many years and several pertinent experiences down the road that snap it all into perspective for her.
All you can do for now is exactly what you are doing, and perhaps you will get to an accord you can both live with.
NinjaFeint
Member
Almost everything can be construed as an emotional response. The other side doesn't get our position at times because we tie too much emotion into it. Fear of people taking your guns away creates an us or them response from a lot of gun owners and that is why the "us" is not growing as fast as it could. It's akin to the people who compare Obama to Hitler somehow thinking the moderates will side with them.
It is sad that so many people here are so close minded and unaware of the reasons why this thinking will never work.
Yep. There's no way this is going to end well. Cut your losses while you can.
Kimber45acp
member
Show her this thread. Seriously, email the link to her. If she leaves you after reading this thread, then she did you a favor. If she doesn't, then she understands you and accepts you to some degree.
Best wishes regardless how the relationship works out.
If she really is that important to you, then you may have to compromise just as much as she has to compromise. How important are your views about gun ownership that are diametrically opposed to hers?
There are important people in my life that have no love of firearms. However, they have such respect for me (I'm really lucky since I'm no one special) that their views against firearms have soften considerably. However, my views about guns are not as strong as many people here.
I guess that will partly determine what you can both live with.
If she really is that important to you, then you may have to compromise just as much as she has to compromise. How important are your views about gun ownership that are diametrically opposed to hers?
There are important people in my life that have no love of firearms. However, they have such respect for me (I'm really lucky since I'm no one special) that their views against firearms have soften considerably. However, my views about guns are not as strong as many people here.
I guess that will partly determine what you can both live with.
Arkansas Paul
Member
I get what you're saying there NinjaFeint. I agree that there are situations where it may work. I'm just not willing to put forth that much effort. And yes, that is rather close minded. But it's me.
MisterMike
Member
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that those who have responded with "dump her now" replies probably have had their share of issues in relationships. 
However, a successful long-term relationship is made up of much more than agreement on a single issue, no matter how important that issue may be to you.
You need to figure out what's really important to you--if an issue, such as gun rights, is central to your core beliefs, then you have to be assured that she will respect that, if not come to agreement. What I would suggest is that you determine whether she is willing to consider the facts and rationale that support your beliefs. If she's not, then you may be attracted to someone who's not going to bend or accommodate your beliefs and values in other aspects of life.
Failing a "conversion"--and I truly believe that's unlikely--you move on to the second question: If she cannot be convinced of the correctness of your position and your priorities, will she at least accord them respect? That not only means not harangueing you, but allowing you to carry/shoot/plink/whatever without questioning it.
I know it's an imperfect analogy, but there are plenty of car nuts who are married to women who "just don't get it," but nonetheless find happiness by carving out their individual interests and beliefs. The guy goes to races with his buddies, and the gal does her thing with her pals.
Ultimately it's up to you to decide whether any one issue is THE litmus test.
However, a successful long-term relationship is made up of much more than agreement on a single issue, no matter how important that issue may be to you. You need to figure out what's really important to you--if an issue, such as gun rights, is central to your core beliefs, then you have to be assured that she will respect that, if not come to agreement. What I would suggest is that you determine whether she is willing to consider the facts and rationale that support your beliefs. If she's not, then you may be attracted to someone who's not going to bend or accommodate your beliefs and values in other aspects of life.
Failing a "conversion"--and I truly believe that's unlikely--you move on to the second question: If she cannot be convinced of the correctness of your position and your priorities, will she at least accord them respect? That not only means not harangueing you, but allowing you to carry/shoot/plink/whatever without questioning it.
I know it's an imperfect analogy, but there are plenty of car nuts who are married to women who "just don't get it," but nonetheless find happiness by carving out their individual interests and beliefs. The guy goes to races with his buddies, and the gal does her thing with her pals.
Ultimately it's up to you to decide whether any one issue is THE litmus test.
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