New Girlfriend introduction to Gun Collection, Help!
- Thread starter Rockrivr1
- Start date
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Some excellent ideas above, I really like the one about the Ice Cream post target shooting
.
2 minor suggestions for the first time you take her shooting ( hopefully )
1) Have another female with her. Helps if the 2nd female has shot before but is not needed. Just having another female at the range means it will bemore comfortable for her, not sure why but it seems to work.
2) Take her to a range with clean toilet facilities or warn her in advance. I have to admit, as long as facilities are available the condition of them is of low importance in choosing where to shoot for me(and I suspect most males). This is not always the mindset of the female of the species.
Good luck,
NukemJim
PS I must also agree with the above who expressed the idea of being anti-gun is a deal breaker for any long term commitment.
.2 minor suggestions for the first time you take her shooting ( hopefully )
1) Have another female with her. Helps if the 2nd female has shot before but is not needed. Just having another female at the range means it will bemore comfortable for her, not sure why but it seems to work.
2) Take her to a range with clean toilet facilities or warn her in advance. I have to admit, as long as facilities are available the condition of them is of low importance in choosing where to shoot for me(and I suspect most males). This is not always the mindset of the female of the species.
Good luck,
NukemJim
PS I must also agree with the above who expressed the idea of being anti-gun is a deal breaker for any long term commitment.
TonyB
Member
A girl I was dating once said she couldn't sleep in my room w/ the guns on the gun rack....so for that night I moved them to another room.......soon I moved to another girl........
Soon after I was married my wife asked"how come every time I close a door or open a drawer,there's a gun there?"
I said,"because I don't have a safe yet.......hint,hint"She got me one for Christmas that year.I was always a shooter,but got more heavily into it after we were married,and she's fine w/ it.
My wife is not a shooter,but supports my shooting and is VERY pro-gun.....one time recently I wasn't carrying and she was upset....."great,what if we get attacked?What do you expect me to do call 911 and wait??".I love my wife.......
As for how to approach the subject....depends on how the relationship is going...it could always be a great way of getting rid of someone
Show up at her house like Rambo when she has a tupperware party(bring your Glock of course)
Soon after I was married my wife asked"how come every time I close a door or open a drawer,there's a gun there?"
I said,"because I don't have a safe yet.......hint,hint"She got me one for Christmas that year.I was always a shooter,but got more heavily into it after we were married,and she's fine w/ it.
My wife is not a shooter,but supports my shooting and is VERY pro-gun.....one time recently I wasn't carrying and she was upset....."great,what if we get attacked?What do you expect me to do call 911 and wait??".I love my wife.......
As for how to approach the subject....depends on how the relationship is going...it could always be a great way of getting rid of someone
Show up at her house like Rambo when she has a tupperware party(bring your Glock of course)
I agree with just asking her how she feels about guns. Let her have her say then state your opinion. If the water's still smooth then fine, but if the chop gets up then you are in for a bumpy ride. If given the alternative of get rid of the guns or me, like some try to do, either stand and leave or show her to the door. The balls in her court now. Now if she doesn't personally care for guns, but understands your feelings and not complain then remember that this is a 2 way street. She may have something she feels passionate about and you have to understand and live with that also.
As for a total newbie going shooting, a .22lr rifle will be the easiest to learn and hit with. No recoil, limited sound, and a rifle is not as intimidating as a handgun. After that go for what ever she wants to try.
Some may want to see the collection and that could lead to a whole night right there. Other's may be afraid or turned off by a large collection, but it's best to learn that early then later when large scale plans may be disrupted.
She may be the sweetest thing on earth, but if she takes you away from your passionate hobby she takes away your peace of mind. In the long run you will pay dearly for this. Frustration and resentment can do horrible things to a mind.
As for a total newbie going shooting, a .22lr rifle will be the easiest to learn and hit with. No recoil, limited sound, and a rifle is not as intimidating as a handgun. After that go for what ever she wants to try.
Some may want to see the collection and that could lead to a whole night right there. Other's may be afraid or turned off by a large collection, but it's best to learn that early then later when large scale plans may be disrupted.
She may be the sweetest thing on earth, but if she takes you away from your passionate hobby she takes away your peace of mind. In the long run you will pay dearly for this. Frustration and resentment can do horrible things to a mind.
Jesse H
Member
3:30 - 4:00 IWB. Apparently I'm real good at hiding them. I remember the first time I had to disarm (going into an establishment were CHL's weren't allowed) I asked her not to freak out, unholstered and locked it in my glovebox.
"Why would I freak out?"
OP
OP
Rockrivr1
Member
Thanks for all the great advise everyone!!! The girlfriend made me dinner last night and the conversation of weekend plans came up. After we made plans for Saturday, she asked what I was doing on Sunday,which I replied that I was going to to the range with some friends to do some target practice and that she was more then welcome to come with us.
Ok, for a second I though things were going to go bad as her fork stopped halfway to her mouth, she was staring at me and then she put her fork down without eating what was on it.
To my surprise she breaks out into a huge grin and starts asking me all kinds of questions about where I shoot, what I shoot, how long have I been shooting and the absolute best question, will you teach me how to shoot!!! WoooHoooo!!!!! She's a keeper!
It looks like the previous Saturday plans went right out the window as she wants me to show her my collection and take her to the range. She didn't want to go on Sunday with other people seeing she's going to be pretty nervous and excited. Damn, two weekend days at the range. Life sure is funny sometimes!
Thanks again everybody
Ok, for a second I though things were going to go bad as her fork stopped halfway to her mouth, she was staring at me and then she put her fork down without eating what was on it.
To my surprise she breaks out into a huge grin and starts asking me all kinds of questions about where I shoot, what I shoot, how long have I been shooting and the absolute best question, will you teach me how to shoot!!! WoooHoooo!!!!! She's a keeper!
It looks like the previous Saturday plans went right out the window as she wants me to show her my collection and take her to the range. She didn't want to go on Sunday with other people seeing she's going to be pretty nervous and excited. Damn, two weekend days at the range. Life sure is funny sometimes!
Thanks again everybody
genie
Member
sniff...
that's simply beautiful. this little genie's still hopefuly i'll be able to say that too...
RustyHammer
Member
".... and that, kids, is how grandpa and grandma knew they'd spend the rest of their lives together." Now go to sleep, it's a school night!
Andrew Rothman
Member
Wow. Some guys have all the luck.
As a new shooter, I faced a very "anti" wife while trying to convince her that I should (a) get a handgun (b) get a CCW permit and (c) carry.
She hated guns, she hate people who own guns, and no one needs to carry. Besides, it'll just get taken away and used to hurt me, and anyway it was 43 times more likely to hurt one of us...
Well, I was able to show her factual refutations of most of that, but she still hated guns and gun owners.
It came down to this, I said. You've known me for 16 years. I am kind, gentle, calm, reasonable, smart, honest, trustworthy, a good father, a good husband, and I always wash behind my ears.
So you can either decide that you have been wrong about me all this time, or that you've been wrong about gun owners.
She still doesn't love the idea. But she decided to respect me. She also said she doesn't want to see or hear about my hobby, so I respect her.
On the other hand, I don't hide the fact that I carry everywhere, every day. She consented to letting me show her the safe operation of the gun, with snap caps, and is a little more convinced I'm not going to blow my foot off.
She has also seen the gun safe and the lockbox in my trunk. She knows that I am fiendishly conservative about safety.
Baby steps. Maybe one day she'll come to the range with me.
Matt
As a new shooter, I faced a very "anti" wife while trying to convince her that I should (a) get a handgun (b) get a CCW permit and (c) carry.
She hated guns, she hate people who own guns, and no one needs to carry. Besides, it'll just get taken away and used to hurt me, and anyway it was 43 times more likely to hurt one of us...
Well, I was able to show her factual refutations of most of that, but she still hated guns and gun owners.
It came down to this, I said. You've known me for 16 years. I am kind, gentle, calm, reasonable, smart, honest, trustworthy, a good father, a good husband, and I always wash behind my ears.
So you can either decide that you have been wrong about me all this time, or that you've been wrong about gun owners.
She still doesn't love the idea. But she decided to respect me. She also said she doesn't want to see or hear about my hobby, so I respect her.
On the other hand, I don't hide the fact that I carry everywhere, every day. She consented to letting me show her the safe operation of the gun, with snap caps, and is a little more convinced I'm not going to blow my foot off.
She has also seen the gun safe and the lockbox in my trunk. She knows that I am fiendishly conservative about safety.
Baby steps. Maybe one day she'll come to the range with me.
Matt
Rockrivr, now get ready for lesson number 2. Take out your most favorite, prized firearm. Carefully disassemble it, clean it, re-assemble all the while fondling and admiring every little detail about it. Why you ask, because undoubtly that's the one she's going to like the best and want to lay claim to it. I used to have some fine rifles, shotguns, and handguns. Now I just get to clean them and make sure there is plenty of ammo for them on hand. If I'm really, really good I may even get a shot off in one every now and then. I have somehow been transformed from a gun owner to a gun bearer.
BowStreetRunner
Member
awesome!
you think your girl could hang out with mine and get her to like them too?
you think your girl could hang out with mine and get her to like them too?
cracked butt
Member
If you think you are going to marry a woman, better make sure she is not only neutral on guns, but likes them alot. My wife was pretty neutral on guns before we married, and still is, but she can't understand my needs and urges to bring home a new rifle every month or two. I have to keep rotating my stock of guns between my gun cabinet and my workshop so that she really has no idea how many I have at any given time, or she might freak out.
TexasVet
Member
Or do what I did, meet your future wife when she is working a table at a gun show!
Baba Louie
Member
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- Dec 26, 2002
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Rockrivr1,
Your Karma must be in a very UP mode right now. Good things happen to those who deserve it and all your fears were for nought (if you really had any).
I challenge you sir, to print out this thread and show the young lady in question... maybe invite her to peruse your other "addiction" and even join THR.
Who knows, you may have the next Missdemeanor, MauserLady, Tamara or mastrogiacomo just awaiting the proper introduction
Serendipitous find sir.
Start her out small, watch her grow.
Hope all goes well in your future relationship with said lass, it sounds as tho' you're off to a promising start.
Adios
Your Karma must be in a very UP mode right now. Good things happen to those who deserve it and all your fears were for nought (if you really had any).
I challenge you sir, to print out this thread and show the young lady in question... maybe invite her to peruse your other "addiction" and even join THR.
Who knows, you may have the next Missdemeanor, MauserLady, Tamara or mastrogiacomo just awaiting the proper introduction
Serendipitous find sir.
Start her out small, watch her grow.
Hope all goes well in your future relationship with said lass, it sounds as tho' you're off to a promising start.
Adios
When I got my license my wide was sort of interested in guns. Then I bought home a Ruger .223 in S/S and a CZ 452 with the nickel barrel. Females must like bright shiny things. A few weeks later she was at the local range to do her long arms test to get a license. Now the CZ is "hers". I still have the pleasure of cleaning and buying the ammo for it.
Then we decided to get our handguns licences (two different categories in Australia). We went to the course and spent a couple of months deciding on which hand guns to get. I'd show her all different types and get her reaction. She wasn't interested in how accurate or how well made they were, they had to look just right. Ended up with a pair of Beretta 87 Targets.
Then about 6 months later, I thought a centrefire auto was in order. I could afford a standard Beretaa 92fs but really wanted an Inox. Best thing I did was show here pictures of both. You guessed it, the Inox was her preference and she even offered to pay for the difference.
I even had to get the 92FS registered in her name, as of the five guns "we" had at the time, only one was registered in her name.
Guess who does all the cleaning for the 92FS and makes the ammo? She is only interested in shooting them, after that everything else is my "job".
Next time I am after a new gun, as long as there is a model in S/S, it is a good a sold.
Feral_Goz
Then we decided to get our handguns licences (two different categories in Australia). We went to the course and spent a couple of months deciding on which hand guns to get. I'd show her all different types and get her reaction. She wasn't interested in how accurate or how well made they were, they had to look just right. Ended up with a pair of Beretta 87 Targets.
Then about 6 months later, I thought a centrefire auto was in order. I could afford a standard Beretaa 92fs but really wanted an Inox. Best thing I did was show here pictures of both. You guessed it, the Inox was her preference and she even offered to pay for the difference.
I even had to get the 92FS registered in her name, as of the five guns "we" had at the time, only one was registered in her name.
Guess who does all the cleaning for the 92FS and makes the ammo? She is only interested in shooting them, after that everything else is my "job".
Next time I am after a new gun, as long as there is a model in S/S, it is a good a sold.
Feral_Goz
Packaging is everything.....
First you tell her your hobby is gunsmithing NOT gun collecting. Throw a few hammers, screwdrivers, screws, nuts & bolts, oil can, a file or two, and a disassembled gun on your "workbench" thats well lit with a hi-intensity lamp. Then introduce her to the "raw material" (gun collection) needed to practice your hobby of "Old World" craftmanship. Tell her you no longer "make" firearms but that you like to keep a few around for sentimental reasons. Hell, she will probably brag to her girlfriends about how good you are with your hands!
First you tell her your hobby is gunsmithing NOT gun collecting. Throw a few hammers, screwdrivers, screws, nuts & bolts, oil can, a file or two, and a disassembled gun on your "workbench" thats well lit with a hi-intensity lamp. Then introduce her to the "raw material" (gun collection) needed to practice your hobby of "Old World" craftmanship. Tell her you no longer "make" firearms but that you like to keep a few around for sentimental reasons. Hell, she will probably brag to her girlfriends about how good you are with your hands!
tankertom
Member
I got lucky in that my wife owned a gun before I did. But the best story of introducing a woman to guns was written by one of the Cruffler's (curio and relics firearms collectors) on the C&R list.
http://www.angelfire.com/realm/cruffler/a_dating_cruffler.htm
Well written and outstanding.
TT
http://www.angelfire.com/realm/cruffler/a_dating_cruffler.htm
Well written and outstanding.
TT
Congrats!!! you are very lucky.
I got into shooting, and in a big way I might add, AFTER I got married. In some ways, I feel sorry for my wife, because she had no way to see this coming (neither did I, really). I think a strong marraige can survive anything... so I guess mine isn't that strong. My moving from wanting to shoot at the range most Saturday mornings, to wanting to keep a gun (in a safe) by the bed, to wanting to carry, was just too much for her basically anit-gun mentality. Looks like we're heading for a split, after almost 10 years (no kids, btw).
My advice to anyone else facing this issue? Be Honest. All The Time. I don't recommend introducing the political aspect until you have desensatized them to the physical element ("guns in the house") through the "sport" aspect. But don't misrepresent or soften anything that you believe in to the point that you either compromise your beliefs, or find yourself needing to repackage it down the road. Stick with the Truth, just perhaps offer it up in small pieces.
Just MHO. YMMV.
I got into shooting, and in a big way I might add, AFTER I got married. In some ways, I feel sorry for my wife, because she had no way to see this coming (neither did I, really). I think a strong marraige can survive anything... so I guess mine isn't that strong. My moving from wanting to shoot at the range most Saturday mornings, to wanting to keep a gun (in a safe) by the bed, to wanting to carry, was just too much for her basically anit-gun mentality. Looks like we're heading for a split, after almost 10 years (no kids, btw).
My advice to anyone else facing this issue? Be Honest. All The Time. I don't recommend introducing the political aspect until you have desensatized them to the physical element ("guns in the house") through the "sport" aspect. But don't misrepresent or soften anything that you believe in to the point that you either compromise your beliefs, or find yourself needing to repackage it down the road. Stick with the Truth, just perhaps offer it up in small pieces.
Just MHO. YMMV.
itgoesboom
member
Congrats on her being so willing to learn. Thats great news.
When i met my wife, we had long political conversations late at night, and she knew that i was a conservative, even though she was a registered Democrat.
Sometime during our dating process, i told her that i owned firearms, it didn't really faze her at all. Neither of us remember how i told her, but we both think it was pretty early on.
She did tell me that she never thought she would live in the same rooms where their were firearms. Well, from day one of our marriage, there has been a loaded shotgun under the bed, and most times a loaded pistol next or under the bed as well. Plus there are more firearms in the closet.
She doens't like it that i keep wanting more and more guns, and she is trying to put a limit on it, but really the only limit right now is our finances. And i have told her that as soon as i can afford to, i will buy and "evil black rifle" and a new pistol.
She may not be happy that i have firearms, but the nights that i have come home late, she is very thankfull to have a way to protect herself, just in case.
I.G.B.
When i met my wife, we had long political conversations late at night, and she knew that i was a conservative, even though she was a registered Democrat.
Sometime during our dating process, i told her that i owned firearms, it didn't really faze her at all. Neither of us remember how i told her, but we both think it was pretty early on.
She did tell me that she never thought she would live in the same rooms where their were firearms. Well, from day one of our marriage, there has been a loaded shotgun under the bed, and most times a loaded pistol next or under the bed as well. Plus there are more firearms in the closet.
She doens't like it that i keep wanting more and more guns, and she is trying to put a limit on it, but really the only limit right now is our finances. And i have told her that as soon as i can afford to, i will buy and "evil black rifle" and a new pistol.
She may not be happy that i have firearms, but the nights that i have come home late, she is very thankfull to have a way to protect herself, just in case.
I.G.B.
WheelMan
Member
Sneaky Sneaky... the old "stand behind them and help them hold it" gag. That works with Golf and Pool too
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